Vitmori POV

Isaak sat in silence beside me, even though he said he was ready for a talk, he was still thinking about just what he should say. After another couple of quiet minutes of just listening to the river coursing past us, he finally spoke up. "So Vitmori... You've killed before, right? How do you handle something like that?"

I nod intently, thinking about his words for a moment. "It all depends... On who I killed, why I killed them, how I killed them... Sometimes I felt nothing, just numb to the moment... Other times I felt satisfied, even almost happy at times that a certain someone was dead and that I was the one to put them down. Then there were times where I felt sick to my stomach, full of remorse that I was the one who had to kill that person and cursing the world for the things that led up to that point."

Isaak nodded slowly, and I could tell that it wasn't exactly what he was looking for or wanted to hear. But he had more questions and I was willing to answer them. "What was it like? The first time you killed someone?" He asked, looking at me now as I felt his eyes intently studying my face and expression.

I sighed for no reason other than to sigh as I scratched the back of my head. "Well... I'll tell you of two times I killed... The very first time, and the first time I killed someone who didn't deserve it." Isaak looked on with interest but didn't say a word in response as I continued. "I was around sixteen years old, it was a few years before everything went to shit so it was just normal society. There was still a government-instituted justice system, with generally good moral fiber and a common sense of what was right and wrong among the majority of society."

I close my eyes as I recall the day of the first time I killed someone, at this point it felt like it was multiple lifetimes ago. But after all that dreamwalking I had done with Reyvyre and Rita, I could remember it like it was yesterday. "I was in a sort of... Guild that my family had founded. We served wealthy merchants and politicians, ensuring that their property and persons were protected. I was assigned a job to protect some merchant's son while they were traveling and was tasked to accompany him and pretend to be a part of his group of friends while they were on the trip. There were other guards of course who were older, stronger, and allowed to be better equipped than myself. In my world, and during the era I grew up in, it wasn't common to have to fight for your life in most countries and it was even less common to be armed and armored outside of conflict zones." I explained, looking to Isaak now to make sure he at least understood the picture I was painting for him.

He was a little confused about a couple of things as far as I could tell, but he looked like he understood the general information I had set up for him as we watched me with intent curiosity for the rest of my story.

"As far as the guy I was protecting knew, I was just the son of his father's new business partner and nothing more. We had spent the better part of a week just going places and hanging out, and we got along well enough. Things were as quiet as they could be and it looked like my job was going to end without me needing to do anything... Well, that was of course when things went bad." I mused a little, sighing softly as I gazed into the water.

"The ca... Err... The carriage we were taking got hijacked by some kidnappers, mercenaries hired by his father's competitor, but that doesn't really matter in the context of the story. The next thing I knew, the two of us were in some kind of warehouse on the docks, getting ready to be loaded onto a boat to make it harder for my guild to find us." I close my eyes again as I visualize the day. "We were locked in a storage room, arms bound behind our backs and gagged, with only one way in and one way out. Since it was my job to make sure he was safe, I knew that I had to do whatever it took to not end up on that boat, so after discreetly escaping my bindings, I caused a scene. I started screaming through my gag, kicking the walls and doors and just making a lot of noise... Of course, I would have never actually gotten anyone's attention, but I kept it up and managed to frustrate the one kidnapper guarding the room." I say while holding up a single finger to emphasize my point.

"Well, to say he was frustrated was an understatement, especially since I wasn't the main target. The only reason I was taken was to try and sweeten the pot so they could possibly get more out of the merchant. So he was rough with me, kicking in my stomach and stomping on my chest to get me to shut up." I couldn't help but smirk a little bit as I reflected on that moment. "I put on such a convincing act playing a sniveling coward, crying and begging for my life. Once he had me whimpering from the pain, he turned to leave, and that's when I sprung into action and jumped on his back. I locked my legs around his waist to prevent him from going for his weapons while hooking my arms around his throat and squeezing as hard as I could to try and knock him out..."

I couldn't help but sigh again as I scratched my cheek. "Except, I screwed up... In the heat of the moment, I didn't get the technique right and was only barely choking the kidnapper out. Now fighting for his life, he slammed me hard against the wall several times and did his best to pull me off his back and maybe even kill me. I... I had no choice. Now it was me or him and I wasn't about to let it be him. So I snapped his neck and he went slack."

Looking at Isaak, he was still listening with rapt attention. "At the moment, I was running off the adrenaline high and probably had a concussion, so I wasn't thinking all too hard about what I just did. I took his weapons, freed the guy I was protecting, and used the kidnapper's... Magic tool to contact my parents and update them on the situation. From there, the only thing to do was to fortify the room we had originally been trapped in and stay put. The kidnappers weren't aware we were free and that help was on the way, so the best way to keep them in the dark was to pretend that nothing changed. My family's guild came in soon enough, took down the kidnappers and my charge was safe. From there, I was praised for my actions. My parents and guild were proud of me and what I was able to accomplish at my age. They even assigned me my own team so I could take charge of jobs and assignments going forward now that I had proven myself without a shadow of a doubt that I was skilled enough to not only protect myself but others in the field... I didn't feel like I earned it though."

I looked over to Isaak and shrug a bit. "If I had practiced more, I would have had better control of myself... And then that man would have lived past that day since I would have simply knocked him out and his death wouldn't have been on my hands. He only died because I wasn't competent enough to take him down alive, and that's what scares me now that I've reflected on it... I was more worried by the fact that I didn't do it right, rather than the fact that a man was dead because of me."

Isaak bobbed his head thoughtfully as he considered the story so far. "You had to kill him... It was your job and ultimately it was done to defend the person in your care and yourself." He reasoned before looking at me again. "You weren't in the wrong and you should be proud of yourself for taking down someone stronger than you... Right?" He asked with uncertainty in his voice.

I nodded once before looking over to him again. "You know... I learned later in life that killing without purpose is a waste and one must never be wasteful... I took great pains to ensure that I didn't kill most people who crossed me or those under my protection; as for most cases, they were just desperate people who needed their needs to be met. Once they were allowed food, water, medicine, and or safety they were willing to work and follow the rules to ensure they continued to receive those things for themselves and their loved ones..."

I looked away before sighing a bit as I watched the water once more. "Of course, you must be mindful of those who cannot be reasoned with; those who will take advantage of your mercy and kindness or ignore it outright and act cruelly for cruelty's sake, and it's against those people you must not hold back for, as they will cause even more damage to you and those you care for when given half the chance."

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"There will come many times in your life and in your line of work that you will have to kill another for the sake of others. This will be something that is expected of you, whether you're slaying some kind of beast or a person you've only met mere seconds ago. Like with all things, killing will get easier as time goes on, but with that in mind, you must always take time to reflect on what you've done so that the idea of taking a life doesn't become too easy. Never allow yourself to be numb to the act of taking the life of a person."

I could sense that Isaak was intimidated by my rather intense beliefs and views, so I opted to dial it back as I stood and began pouring out stone and wood from my storage space. After some thinking, I decided I would just build a bridge across the river, and I should be able to make a sturdy one that'll last a while with the materials I have on hand. "Then again, your world still has structure and society. There's a future here and a sense of security I haven't seen in decades even despite your current circumstances. For someone like you, who's just starting out, I would say you need to decide who or what you're fighting for. It can be anything... An ideal, a cause, or for a goal..." I then offer him a bit of a smile as I shape stone anchors which will make up the foundations of the bridge. "It can even be a person... Someone you want to make the world a better place for."

Isaak looked... Confused to say the least, still sitting by the riverside as he watched the running water before looking over to me. "Is that really all there is to it? That's all I need to think about when it comes to killing?"

I tilted my head a little before looking back at him and used my magic to shape and carve a couple of logs into manageable posts before planting them into the stone anchors and using magic to fuse the wood to the stone almost as if the stone were cement. "Like I told you the other day, it's all about your mindset... You're not going out into the world trying to kill someone... What you're doing is fighting to protect your ideals and beliefs, or to protect someone. It can be a loved one, or it can be the villagers of a community asking for your help, or it can even be your brother or sister in arms in the midst of battle. At the end of the day, you should strive to be a protector, someone who will fight for the sake of others. By no means will you ever be a weapon to be used indiscriminately."

As I spoke, I pulled the anchors and posts back into my storage before pouring out some more stone from my storage and shaping some fairly heavy blocks around my feet. Taking a minute to test my weight and mobility, I started walking into the river, going waist-deep in the water before pulling the anchors from my storage; only to then use my earth magic to bury them in the riverbed while my new stone shoes kept my light wooden body from being washed away.

I could feel Isaak starting to get a better understanding of what I was getting at, though he was still rather curious about something. Getting to his feet, he walked closer to the water's edge, watching me intently as I worked at building the bridge. "What about the first time you killed someone who didn't deserve it? You said you would tell me about that too."

I internally winced at him reminding me to talk about that, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that I would talk about it... But it would do him good to hear about wasteful loss of life. I... I don't think I've ever talked about this with anyone now that I consider it. "I uh... Well... It wasn't just one person... It was a whole group of them. Nine people died when they shouldn't have, and I led the team that killed them all."

"What happened?" Isaak asked, and I could sense that he wasn't particularly judging me but was curious nonetheless.

I pulled more wood from my storage and proceeded to flesh out the frame of the bridge, carving out slots in order to fit the wood onto the posts in the anchors without needing to use any kind of nails to keep the frame together. "I was leading a strike team... We were out hunting a group of bandits that were operating in the area, robbing passing survivors and supply lines. It was a relatively small group as far as we knew so they didn't have to steal often, but they did it enough to be a pain in our sides."

Done with the bare bones of the frame, I slowly make my way out of the water before using some concentrated gusts of wind magic to dry myself off. "I had spent the latter half of a month scouting out the area in order to find the bandit's base and succeeded in my efforts; within the week I had my team ready to attack. When night came, we made our advance and the scene we came across was grisly... The bandits had just finished having a battle of their own, bodies littered the outpost and those that survived were looting the corpses, stripping them of everything of worth before tossing them in a bonfire for cremation."

"Why would they burn their bodies like that? I mean... Cremation is not an uncommon practice... But why burn them?" He asked with simple curiosity.

I scratched my cheek, thinking about how to best answer that question. "It was just... More efficient that way. There wasn't space to do burials in most communities, and it was overall the cleanest method which prevented the spread of disease from rotting corpses and also kept the zombies from eating their corpses and being attracted to that rot."

I could tell he found no comfort in that answer, and I could appreciate the sentiment he had for treating the dead with respect. It's been a long time since I could afford that sentiment myself. Not that death really means much to me now that I consider it. "In any case, we struck first. It was a quiet affair, and the people I picked to be there were some of the best combatants my community had to offer. Using a mix of knives, bows, and crossbows we eliminated everyone that was there. I personally took down two of them... A bolt through the ear for one and two thrown knives in the neck for the other. It was quick, clean, and quiet. We suffered no losses and no injuries. Plus we now had all their resources as well as the equipment of their victims which meant more all around for the people of my community." I explain, forcing false enthusiasm into the retelling of the story since it was nothing but positives at that point.

Isaak nodded intently, but then he frowned a little. "So you regretted killing those bandits? Why? You just said they've been terrorizing your people and other groups in the area."

With that, I just sighed as I began laying boards of wood over the frame I had built and carefully fusing the boards to the frame to make it one piece. "You're right, the bandits were causing trouble for my group and for other groups... The problem is that another group had the same idea our group did... And... Well... Communication wasn't all that great in the beginning."

Isaak had to take a moment to consider what I just said, but he figured it out soon enough as a look of shock came across his face. “By the gods… You killed the ones who just killed the bandits?”

I nodded silently, fitting another board into place while reshaping it to my needs. “It was an honest mistake… But that doesn’t excuse the loss of life. It was from that day on that I began changing my methods. Whenever possible I would take people alive if only to avoid repeating that mistake ever again.”

I glanced back at Isaak, who looked more pensive than anything before speaking up as he watched me. “But like you said… There are some people that can’t be afforded that kind of mercy… Right?”

I offered a nod as I got back to focusing on the bridge. “That’s the truth of the matter at the end of the day, Isaak… But for now, you should just focus on your training. You won’t be making those kinds of decisions anytime soon, after all, you’re still an apprentice and you still have plenty of time to learn just what it means to hold a blade or any other sort of weapon for the sake of others.”

Isaak watched the water for a time before standing as he walked closer to me on the bridge. “Thank you for your time Vitmori, I appreciate the wisdom you have shared with me today. I think… I think you’ve given me a lot to consider. I have to get back to training now, though if it’s alright with you, can we have another talk sometime?”

I couldn’t help but smile a bit as I made my way over to him, properly meeting his gaze and offering a nod. “Sure Isaak, my door is always open to you.”

He looked a little confused by the door comment, but he notably brightened as he lowered his head respectfully for a moment and stood tall once more. “I’ll be off now.” With that, made his way off, leaving me to my bridge.

Survivor POV

My men loot with delight as they fill the trucks with all the stolen goods and equipment. The bandits had so much stockpiled that we’ll likely have to make a second trip to get it all back home. It’s good that they’ve been cleared out, and this outpost is in a surprisingly good place. I'll have to see if we can spare some people to maintain the location for future use.

But all the dead bandits don’t matter right now… The problem I have is all the survivors that my men just killed. The damning evidence being this journal that I just pulled from one of the corpses… These folk come from that riverside community to the east.

‘Damnit! Why? Today of all days did they have to be here? Weeks of tracking only to be second to the goal.’ My eyes go over to my men as they chatter cheerfully enough, the pride on their faces plain to see after helping get rid of a problem that’s been plaguing all of us for so long. If any of them learned the truth of what they did today, the guilt would ruin them…

One of the guys walked up with a cheerful grin on his face as he juts a thumb over to one of the trucks. “Hey boss, we found a crate of twinkies in the store room over there and they’re still good! Want one?”

I force a smile on my face as I look over to him and bob my head. “Yeah sure, we all deserve a treat after today. Just make sure to not eat too much, I wanna see the looks on the kids faces when we start handing out those sweets.” I muse, tucking the journal away in my coat as I follow him over to the others. Though as we walked past the bonfire with bandit corpses, I flicked the journal into the fire and watched as the pages went up in flames.

“Hm? What was that boss?” He asked curiously, still in a relatively good mood as he glanced over at the bonfire for a moment.

“Nothing much, just a journal full of sick fantasies.” I muse with a shrug. “Let's get the rest of these bodies burning before we’re out of here, we shouldn’t let the smell of rot set in.”

He nodded intently, his good mood unimpeded. “Of course boss, we’ll get right on it.”