Survivor? POV

The smell of wood smoke hits my nose, and I'm suddenly reminded to tend to the fire. The crackling embers prick my ears as I grabbed another log and carefully leaned it onto the rest of the burning wood. I could vaguely smell the food being cooked in the flames, from the potatoes wrapped in foil and the pair of Dutch ovens with charcoals laid over the lids. Using a nearby stick, I pointlessly poke at the fire before setting the stick aside as my eyes begin to wander.

I spot several similar-looking fireplaces, the others in the caravan tending to their fires as the night goes on. I see smiles on faces here and there. They're relaxed, calm, and almost happy despite everything that's happened in the last week. There are too many people, we have too many vehicles as well, and a caravan this big can't be reliably protected. We are only fortunate enough to have come as far as we have thanks to the combined efforts of my family's private security team, along with some awol soldiers we came across and let join us.

We've been sticking to the backroads and countryside to avoid crossing too many other people and avoid coming across more of those freaks. So far we've been successful in both endeavors, but all these vehicles need fuel, and we're gonna need to hit up a gas station or two real soon if we intend on keeping all these vehicles going.

Most of these people haven't seen what the rest of us have seen, and despite being a week into an apocalypse, over half of these people have yet to even hold a gun in self-defense. I doubt most of them could be relied on to pull the trigger if the shit were to hit the fan... I pity them. All these adults, people twice my age, and most of them can't be trusted to save their own lives, let alone the lives of their own families and those around them.

'Do you regret saving them? Putting your own life on the line so that they can still smile?'

"Of course not, I made my choice, and I'm gonna stand by it. Even if in practice, it would be better for me to work alone or in a small group. I was in a place where I could do something to help, so I did. Am I stressing about what needs to be done now that I've made the choice? Sure, but I don't regret it." I reply without really thinking about it too much. But wait a minute... I don't think I recognize that feminine voice; now that I think about it, I don't think I even heard that voice speak out loud, funnily enough. I focus more on the moment, looking around only to find that I'm alone. Did I imagine it? Or am I trying to rationalize and justify my actions to myself? Do I just need some sleep? Yeah... That's likely it.

Before I can think about it too much, I hear footsteps crunching through the dirt and patches of grass nearby. Looking over, I spot a pair of women I don't think I recognize. They look like they just stepped off a movie set, with all those weird special effects makeup and costumes. I mean, one of them is wearing robes, not to mention those funny-looking ears. Though that's not even considering the other woman with that over-the-top feather effect and wings. "That's all a bit much, don't you think? It's hardly the time to be playing with make-up and costumes."

The women smiled and chuckle a bit as they joined me by the fire, the one with wings sitting on a stool that was left by one of the others, while the woman in the robes took a seat in the foldout chair that was across from me on the other end of the fire.

The winged woman spoke up first. "You're a hard man to find, Vitmori. I know this is your mind, but please take it easier on us." She mused kindly, offering me a smile as she picked up my stick and used it to poke at the fire.

"Well, it is his very first dreamwalk, not to mention he's viewing his own mind. Let's just be grateful we found him in a timely fashion." The other woman with the odd ears said before looking over at me. "It seems you're still not aware of yourself... Vitmori, you need to focus. This is a memory. You've already lived this before."

"What sort of crap are you spouting, miss? I may be tired and hearing voices, but I know for a fact that I'm awake... If not a bit tired." I admit, glancing between the two of them. I am awake... Right? I mean, I don't think I recognize either of these women. They seem to know me by name after all. My name... Vitmori? Was that the name I've always had? It sure is an odd-sounding name. But I do think it's mine.

The woman with odd ears looked at me curiously before sharing a look with the woman with wings. After another moment, she looked back at me again and seemed to try and find her words before speaking up. "You're hearing voices? But in this memory, you're left alone with your thoughts for at least another twenty minutes, and then your parents come over to speak to you about the plan for the next town over to get fuel and more food. You don't say a word. You don't speak to anyone. You were just thinking about how you pity the others who don't know how to defend themselves and then you were going to think about how hungry you are and wonder when the food was going to be done." She explained rather methodically.

Now that she mentioned it, I am rather hungry. I wonder when the... Wait a minute. I can't help but scowl a bit as I look between the two women, sitting up in my seat. "Now I don't know what sort of tricks you're pulling. But I don't quite appreciate your brand of humor."

The winged woman looked over at the woman with odd ears before glancing back at me again. "I think he's too tied into this moment. What should we do?"

I move to stand. Something about these women just feels odd. I mean... I know them, don't I? But at the same time, it feels like something isn't right. Something feels wrong, and my head is starting to throb.

As I moved, the woman with odd ears seemed to vanish before appearing right next to me and grabbing my shoulder, pushing me back into my seat. "Vitmori, you must not leave this spot... You're not in control of your frame of mind. If you try to act beyond the scope of this current memory while not fully aware of yourself, you might lose this memory outright... Or not... I must admit I'm still uncertain in regards to how all this affects dungeon cores."

Once I sat back down, the headache seemed to fade almost immediately. Taking a moment to consider how I'm feeling, I glance between the two women before sighing softly. "Okay... Let's say I believe you... What do I need to do?"

The woman with the odd ears smiled with relief as she pulled away and tapped her chin thoughtfully before snapping her fingers with a smile. "I need you to focus on a different memory. Something stronger and more distinct than this random point in your life."

"Random? This is like the second time we've been able to properly rest ever since we got out of Seattle, I hardly think this is just a random point in my life." I can't help but feel more than a little indignant by her comment. Sure, I may have just watched her teleport before my very eyes, but this is my life.

The woman with odd ears sighed softly before shaking her head. "Vitmori, in the scope of the myriad of experiences you've gone through. The many lives you changed for better and for worse, the lives you've saved, and the lives you have ended. This very moment of you poking potatoes wrapped in foil with a half-burnt stick is very much just a random moment."

Ah... Well, when she puts it like that... She says it all with such certainty, too. "Do... Do I really affect so many people? Isn't it bad luck or a paradox to tell me this? Won't it change the future now that I know some of it?"

The woman with wings chuckles at me, speaking out as she flashes a smile. "It's not like we can change anything about your life. Again, you've already lived all this. This is merely a memory."

At that, the woman with odd ears nods in agreement before looking me over again. "We had an unfortunate encounter with an awfully emotional memory of yours. You should know the one I speak of. You retreated into your mind after the experience, and it took us quite some time to try and find you again... We're doing our utmost to safely navigate you through all this, but you must work with us... You have to be the one to walk out of your own mind with us." She explained with such a profound somberness, her blue and green eyes gazing deep into my own eyes.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Alright... So you said I need to focus on a memory? What should I focus on?" Something about what they're saying is starting to make some sort of strange sense, and I get the feeling that I can trust these women despite how odd they look.

The two women share a look, though the one with the odd ears has a pained expression as she then looks back at me. "We need you to face the memory that caused you to retreat so far back into your mind. You were strong enough to live through it before, and I'm sure you can do it again." She expressed as gently as she could.

I looked between the two again, and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit as my nerves started to get to me. "What sort of horrible thing could it have been? Was I tortured or something? See some sort of messed up gruesome gore and death? Did I torture someone? Honestly, you're making it sound like this was some awful thing that ruined me. Was it my parents? Were they killed in some sort of brutal way, perhaps?" I couldn't think of anything worse. What could it have possibly been that could make me regress or whatever?

Once again, the two women share a look, and the woman with odd ears spoke up once more. "You killed your beloved." She said after a few moments, letting the statement hang in the air.

"My beloved? Me? I... I fell in love with someone and then killed them?" That's what traumatized me so much that I retreated into my mind? What sort of wimp am I? "That's ridiculous. Who do I fall in love with? I can't believe I would waste time with something like love with the world going to shit like this." I scoffed at the notion of that.

The woman with odd ears only smiles at that. "You truly used to be rather closed-hearted and emotionally detached. But even then, you still put your neck out and helped others despite yourself." She then leaned back in the foldout chair as she watched the winged woman poke at the fire some more. "You fell in love with Skylar. It was a slow process at first, and ultimately, you became the best of friends. She was your confidant, the one person in the whole world you truly trusted with everything. Your deepest thoughts and fears, your hopes and plans for the future. She knew you for who you truly were and not the front you put up for the others who looked to you for guidance and protection."

"Skylar? That albino tomboy? I mean, she's cute and all, but... That's ridiculous. Again, I don't have the time for something like love... But... But why do I believe you?" Just thinking about that girl again is causing my chest to hurt, and not just a quick spike of pain but a sort of deep, dull throbbing that weighs heavily on me.

"You killed her, and afterward, you stopped caring whether or not you lived or died. You took on more risks, did more dangerous work, and became even more cruel to those who crossed you." She explained, and I could tell she was being as honest with me as she could be, a sentiment that I can appreciate.

My chest still hurts, and I take my time just trying to gather my thoughts. "Why is this happening? What was I doing in my memories? If everything I've heard is true, and none of this is real. Then what am I doing here? "

The winged woman piped up at that. "You were worried about how open your memories were to others. So she was teaching you how to make your mind more secure to those bound to you, and I was practicing a more advanced form of dreamwalking using your mind, with your permission, of course."

The woman with odd ears nodded and continued down that thread. "We were following your experiences from before you died. You saw Skylar again, and while you were able to keep moving on without lingering on your memories of her, that all changed when we came across the day of Skylar's death. Despite all the things you did after that day, it was that experience that affected you the most. Your heart wasn't ready to see that day again, and I don't believe you've ever really processed it in the first place."

"Am I really that pathetic of a man?" I don't believe I could ever be that weak. I've already seen so much death and tragedy. I've already had to kill people who didn't deserve it. To think that I couldn't recover after killing someone else and that it would affect me so much?

The woman with odd ears shook her head at that. "Vitmori, you are far from being a pathetic man. You may not remember it now, but you are one of the strongest humans I know. You've suffered greatly, yet you still show compassion despite your broken heart. You won't be alone this time. We are here to help you. Just... Just think of Skylar, and your mind will lead you back to the memory. Close your eyes and listen to my voice."

I do as I'm told. Something about this feels familiar, and even as the woman speaks, I can feel her growing more distant and faint.

Vitmori POV

My eyes open, and I find myself in a forest, the smell of the grass and trees tickling my nose as I take in a deep breath of the refreshing scent. Looking myself over, I feel more myself again as my eyes wander the treeline. "Damn... That was something." I say to nobody in particular as I start walking forward, doing my best to collect my thoughts until I spotted a doorway standing in the middle of a clearing. I walk around it, looking it over. It's just a plain wooden door, with a frame, handle, and hinges. Despite that, I can feel my stomach turning in knots at what I know lies behind it.

Before I can linger on my nerves for too long, I hear the crunching of grass and leaves coming from behind me, and I immediately know who it is. "Hey, you two... Thanks for your help earlier." I say as I looked over at Reyvyre and Rita, flashing them a small, if not sheepish smile.

Rita, for her part, looks rather worn out. Though Reyvyre appeared no worse for wear as she bobbed her head in response. "You're welcome, Vitmori. we're glad to see you've managed to make it back here. How do you feel?" She asked as she came up beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder while looking me over.

"I... I don't know how I feel. I don't think I'm ready to face what's on the other side of this door." I admit as I glanced at the door handle, my hand twitching at the thought of grabbing it.

"I'm doing alright too, just in case anyone cares." Rita mentions while she flares out her wings while stretching before sighing softly.

Glancing between the two of them, I get the feeling that I'm missing something here. "Are the two of you alright?" I ask, hoping for some clarification.

Reyvyre simply smiled a bit more as she nodded again. "Yes, we're doing alright. I believe Rita here may just not be used to dreamwalking for as long as we have been at this point."

That raised some alarms as I stood a little straighter. "Wait, how long have we been dreamwalking?"

Reyvyre appeared thoughtful at that before speaking up. "In the waking world, we have perhaps been dreamwalking for around an hour now. Not all that long, to be honest. However, your mind and memories have been warped due to your emotional duress. We've been wandering for close to three months now, exploring the interconnected paths and corridors through your memories and dreamscape to try to find you as you are now. Again, not all that long for someone as experienced as I am, though Rita is not as experienced. But don't worry, I've been ensuring the strain has not been as taxing as it could have been for her, and if you're able to face this memory of yours, we should all be able to exit and wake up safely."

"I see... So, no pressure." I say softly before looking over at Rita. "Sorry about all this."

Despite her irritated and tired expression, Rita manages to flash a small smile. "Don't be sorry. It was my choice to explore your memories, and I knew the risks involved with dreamwalking. It may have been easier to explore your memories in the way you're doing it now, but it was also a more dangerous endeavor. This method is much safer, though generally more difficult to maintain." She then chuckled softly as she rubbed her neck. "Though I think I'm done with dreamwalking for a long while after this. I've had my fill by now." She mused tiredly.

"Okay... Okay, I think I'm ready now." Hesitating another moment, I take the door by the handle and step into the darkness within.

My eyes opened to the view of a serene lake, the familiar scent of pine hitting my nose once more as I sighed softly. Turning to look to my left, I see my beloved Skylar. Her head resting on my shoulder as we sit at the roots of a tree, her fingers interlocking with mine as we sit in silence. In her other hand was an open bottle of water with only a single drink taken from it. One last drink. I look to my right hand, and I can still feel the warmth of her breath against my palm. The white residue of those old pills lingers on my skin. We knew they still worked despite the expiration date. Of course, they still worked. Why did they have to work...

No... I'm glad they still worked, at least for her sake. This way was preferable to the alternative. Even if I had gotten more time with her, that wouldn't have been any sort of life for her to struggle through. Hell... She's been struggling for months without telling me, at least this way, we can share one last moment.

I can feel her breathing start to slow, her hand going slack in mine as I only tighten my grip. The minutes drag into eternity as I close my eyes and listen to every single breath she makes until it becomes one slow exhale.

My cheeks start to burn as my vision blurs, my chest aching as I struggle to take a breath. It feels as if part of my heart is just gone, and the world is all the darker for it. I... I don't think I can go on. I don't want to go on in a world without her. My eyes close as I reach behind me, a familiar weight in my hand as I clench my fingers around the grip. My mouth opens, and I can taste the tang of metal on my tongue. It would be so easy. It would be so easy to join her and be done with this awful world. To finally rest and end my struggles. My hands shake, and the weight almost becomes unbearable.

I can't do it... I'm too much of a coward to do it. The taste of metal leaves my mouth as I cast the weight away into the dirt. My arms go around the still-warm figure of my beloved, my chin resting against the top of her head as she limply accepted my embrace. She wanted me to live, she told me as much. She was so selfish for that request, and I was so ready to follow her. But she told me that I still have a life to live and asked me to be patient before joining her on the other side. But I guess she's still going to have to wait for a while longer now.

'Why didn't you end it? For what reason do you keep living despite the world you live in?'

There's that feminine voice again... I... I don't remember hearing this voice last time. But my mouth opens to reply to her. "It's because she asked me to. She made me promise not to follow her, and I hate her for it. Just because people are waiting for me back home. Just because someone is expecting me to return. But what do I care? I don't owe them anything. I don't care about anything anymore now that she won't be there waiting for me... But I'm too much of a coward to break a promise. To go back on my word no matter how desperately I want to."

'I see... I'll continue to monitor your progress candidate.'

With that, the feminine voice faded, and I could feel myself forgetting about even speaking at that moment... Odd. Seconds later, I can hear the grass crunching and a hand coming to my shoulder as Reyvyre spoke. "Vitmori, your mind has settled... I'm sorry you had to live through this again, but we can leave now."

I nod intently, my arms still draped around my beloved. As I moved to stand, I saw myself still sitting under that tree, mourning her in unbearable silence. Looking back over to Reyvyre, I feel the weight on my heart start to lift, if only by just a little bit. "Say... Did you hear a voice just now? I heard it again, like that time back in the campsite."

Reyvyre looked concerned for me but adopted a thoughtful expression once I mentioned the voice again. She glanced over at Rita, who stood nearby, and she just shrugged. "N-no, I don't think so. It was just you here now."

"I also heard myself talking again, but I think you're right. I don't remember talking to anyone last time I was here." I took another look behind me, spotting the memory of myself locked in one last embrace with Skylar. "It's not important right now, I would like to move on from this place. Please." I ask, doing my best to hide the tightness in my throat as I look back to Reyvyre.

She bobbed her head once as she held out her hand, a new door materializing before us. "Yes, I think it's about time we all wake up now."