I looked through the crack in front of me, I gazed at the greenery beyond the crack – there were tiny people playing on the grass, talking to each other, some chasing each other, others siting on swings, and some making majestic structures with the yellow grains on the ground.

They all had one thing in common – they were laughing. I felt a strange pain on my chest as I watched them, I rubbed my chest with my hand but the pain wouldn't go away. What was this feeling I felt when I saw them?

I hated it.

Why would the tiny people never come to me? Why wouldn't they share their laughter and joy with me? I called out to them but my voice never reached them. I screamed, I yelled, my mouth hurting as I did but not a single tiny person looked back at me. I felt cold goo come out of my eyes every time they wouldn't look at me. The goo stayed there for a long time but soon cleared up when I stared at the big bright circle above the many people.

I loved the big bright circle, it was the only thing that stared back at me, and never looked away – even if I was hideous. The big bright circle would always make the goo go away and it would give me warmth every time I saw it. I tried talking to the big bright circle, but I would never hear it talk back. But, I still loved the big bright circle more than anything – I wish it would stay with me forever, and ever. But it didn't.

The big bright circle would always disappear underneath the various stones beneath it. It would leave me and go look at someone else. The cold goo from my eyes would come back and wouldn't stop until I saw the big bright circle again. And, he always did came back. I was overjoyed when the big bright circle came to visit me again, I would talk of all the things I had seen when he was gone. He was the only one who would listen to me, but he would never talk back to me. Why was that?

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He was probably afraid of me - because I was a monster.

The tall people came to me every day and told me that. They all had the same look on their faces when they looked at me through the crack. All of them said that I was a monster, I was disgusting, and ugly. I wondered why they would always tell me this. I already knew what I was, I felt my hand grip tighter as they yelled at me but soon stopped when they touched me. 

It was a feeling that I didn't like but I couldn't avoid it. I screamed and yelled but the tall people would never stop. It made sense – I was a monster so I deserved it, but I hated it.

The tall people never cared about monsters, they hated monsters. Their hands and feet would come up to my body, and leave bright marks everywhere. At first, I didn't like the feeling but now I didn't feel anything. I was happy that I couldn't feel that feeling anymore, I was happy when they would stop touching me, but I was sad when they would leave me, just like how the big bright circle would leave me.

I wondered if all monsters were like me. I wondered if there were more monsters like me. I wondered if I could laugh with the tiny people if I were a tiny person. I wondered if I could speak with the tall people if I were a tall person. I wondered what things would be like if I weren't a monster. I wondered every day.

But in the end – I was still a monster.