The room smelled of Thursdays, of the nettle that mingled with honeyed grasses, but what was missing? Probably the dew to stick to her clothes, or the pesky swirls of air to keep her company. No one was there to enjoy the day with her. There wasn’t even a quilt to lie on, which was a waste with the weather so perfect for an outing. Something between a yawn and a sigh escaped her. She was well aware that the season had changed many months ago, but her half-awake stubbornness refused to acknowledge that fact just yet. The gentle sting of strong beams still pricked her even now, like her body was stuck in a reverie of summer flowers. She’d been told time would pass her by if she wasn’t careful, but for her it was kind enough to come back for the occasional visit every now and then, at least. She yawned, almost indifferent to such a gift. Her head rested on the arm of a large wooden chair, graciously padded by feathers and fluff, but still too big for a single little girl to take up all the space. A blanket covered her from her neck down. She didn’t remember getting one from her room or elsewhere. Not that it mattered. The day had changed, and the realization filled her with regret and loneliness. The only solace she had was that selfish warmth that claimed every part of her.

With no horizon to speak of, she studied her surroundings through murky lenses. In front of her was the realm of the living, a small settlement filled with people she might never know. She could imagine that world: foggy breath and crunching feet dragging through chilly petals, barren trees crowned by gray skies, and white, white roads. Telltale signs of winter fast approaching. The first year her mind was too muddled to notice the changes. The second year she held no interest in the seasons. Now, even with the drowse, something compelled her to look out the window that had to be at least three times her size, to stare down at the town below masked by the frosty tips of an evergreen screen. A weak smile flashed on her face. Somehow the cobble and brick remained untouched by the cold perverting the mountain her home clung to. She didn’t know whether to be impressed or jealous.

Her attention returned to the book sitting in her lap, “The Weight of Wings and Scales”, a short story of a bird and a snake who compete with one another to decide which is the superior predator. A dull mat of clouds hung overhead. Birds and snakes were both bad in gloomy weather, and for a second she debated whether or not she should swap books to fit the dour tone set by the incoming storm. In the end, whether it was due to lethargy or her childish pride, she didn’t move from her seat. Deciding to keep her focus elsewhere, she locked her eyes on the imposter sky and everything below it. Various thoughts crossed her mind: whether the town was empty or full, if it were lively or listless due to the weather, whether the residents were warm or cold, all of them curiosities born from ignorance. Did they struggle and cry? Was the food ill-prepared, or was care put into every dish? Were they crushed by their responsibilities, or did they find the burden weightless? Was there a happy ending awaiting them, or were they doomed to confront the terror known as reality?

“Staring out there won’t make Lorne come back any faster, Etoile.” Soft footsteps followed the belle’s voice, tearing Etoile from her thoughts with a jump. It took her a moment to gather herself again.

“Oh, it’s only you, Selkie.”

“Only me? Were you expecting somebody else? I didn’t realize I was so insignificant in your eyes.” She acted as though she were hurt, but the small grin she wore as she performed gave it away well enough. “Jokes aside, are you feeling any better? You slept for quite a while, I’ll have you know. If you’re feeling sick, it’ll be easier if you go ahead and tell me so I can prepare some medicine.”

“I’m fine, Selkie. I must have dozed off while I was reading.”

“I shouldn’t be so surprised. You do spend quite a bit of time in this old library. I didn’t have to clean this room again until you started camping out here while Lorne was away, you know. I suppose I can’t complain too much, though. I do find myself reading more frequently than before, and Lorne even goes out and buys books again to fill all the empty space on these shelves.”

“Is that why you’re here right now?”

“Partially,” the woman answered. In one arm she carried a blanket just large enough to fit over Etoile, not that she was very big. She hardly peeked over an average dresser even on her tiptoes, but Lorne and Selkie both promised she’d get taller with age.

“Knowing you, you’ve probably drooled all over this blanket I’d brought in a while ago.”

“I don’t drool!”

“Of course you don’t, dear. Just taking the edge off of you. Spending time alone is nice and all, but too much of it leads you to thinking about things you’re better off not thinking about. Not to mention that you must be lonely.”

With delicate fingers, she removed the old stack of silk and placed the new blanket over Etoile, as if dressing the girl for a ball.

“It is my job to watch over you while the master of the house is away. Though he might not show it, he worries about you quite a bit. Take better care of yourself, for your sake and his.”

Etoile couldn’t help the smile growing on her face. “Thank you, Selkie.”

“Don’t mention it.” Her hands already found themselves pulling a slim novel out of the numerous bookshelves that lined the walls, leaving the old blanket on the side of her chair. This room had only two exits: the window in front of her and the door to her back. The rest was dedicated to storing any number of pages, from newspapers to encyclopedias, simple picture books to diagrams so detailed they may as well have been real. If not for the lack of conventional reading material, it could easily have rivaled an actual library. Nevertheless, the two always found a way to divert some time sitting there, rarely speaking with each other, but finding solace in each other’s company while the master of the house was out doing his work.

“Do you think we’ll be able to have another picnic soon?” Etoile asked. Her voice was smaller than she intended it to be. She looked down at her lap, through the blanket at the book in her hand. Although it was closed, she made sure to keep a finger on what page she stopped at, even as she slept. What she hadn’t noticed was how sore her finger had become.

“That all depends on the weather, dear. I’m sure Lorne will find a way regardless, if you continue to put the idea in his mind.”

Selkie smoothly flipped to the next page in her novella. From the cover it looked like some sort of love story, but it was in a language that Etoile couldn’t understand. Most of the collection consisted of material from foreign countries, in so many different patterns of speech that it was dizzying just thinking of all the characters. Books like the one Etoile had in her lap were fairly recent, as Lorne had decided that it might be a good idea to finally get something in English. Whether or not it was because he didn’t want her fingering through sensitive material, or because he didn’t want to leave her bored with nothing to pass the time, she appreciated what little variety she was granted.

She pushed herself farther into the cushions of her chair. She could already feel the claws of lethargy grasping at her once again. If she closed her eyes the day would be over in an instant, but what was there to look forward to tomorrow that wouldn’t happen today? She studied Selkie as she debated what choice to make. Her long, grey hair that browned the farther from her scalp it reached fell into many silky towers over her shoulders, giving her an air of grace and refinement that Etoile had only ever experienced in novels. Eyes dyed earthy hues remained vigilant as they scoured pages for information. Her manner of dress was exquisite and complex, a Victorian doll favored by the colors of spring and graced by a silver-spotted fur shawl that she could never be found without. To Etoile, she was the perfect lady: beautiful, witty, and kind. A part of Etoile looked to her as an example. Another part was wary of the appearance.

“Is there something on me, dear? Or do you have something on your mind?” Once again she was taken by Selkie’s almost otherworldly perception. She hadn’t even spared a glance from her novel! How did she do it?

“Just thinking to myself,” Etoile replied when she realised she left the room eerily silent. It wasn’t entirely untrue.

“There must not have been a day where I haven’t found you staring into nothing thinking to yourself. It will have been a whole three years at the end of next week where you still haven’t shaken that habit. Sometimes I worry you might be lost in your own little world permanently. Imagine how shocked Lorne and I would be, losing our little girl so suddenly!”

Etoile let the statement settle with an uncomfortable pause. They’d lived without her before, so wouldn’t they be able to live without her afterwards? She couldn’t help but think about how long that might have been. She couldn’t help but wonder what that time, the time stolen from her memories, was like without her two caretakers present. Was she happy? Was she sad? The last three years had been her entire life! No, no matter how much she wanted to deny it, she knew there was no way that could actually be the truth. Deep down, she knew that there was something about herself she was missing, a life that no longer belonged to her, and one that never belonged to the girl name Etoile.

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Selkie appeared in front of her, crouching down so that her face was level with Etoile’s. She must have been so distracted she didn’t even notice her move. A hand gently patted Etoile’s head.

“There you go again, thinking of unnecessary things. You’re only twelve, Etoile. Worrying is an adult’s job. A child like you should only be concerned by what diversion to choose next. Have more fun. I’ll even try and take you outside when Lorne’s away again, maybe even take you into town so you can make some friends. I admit it will be a very rare occasion where he’ll freely let you leave his supervision, but it’s better than being cooped up in here with nothing but books and myself to keep you company. How does that sound?”

Looking into those eyes of hers, Etoile couldn’t help but be enchanted. Instead of words, she simply gave a nod. Selkie beamed. There were a few canines that snuck past her lips.

“That’s my dear. Now, I’m going to step out for a bit. Just call down the hall if you need me, alright?”

“Okay, Selkie.”

She watched Selkie briskly make her way to the door, stopping just at the threshold.

“I completely forgot to ask what you wanted for dinner. Anything in particular you feel like eating?”

“Nothing, really.”

“Then the menu is up to me, as usual. Honestly, you and Lorne should be more picky.” Her complaints turned to mumbles as the door shut itself behind her. Etoile was alone once again, but at least this time she was more awake. It was like all the drowse she’d been feeling just up and vanished.

Deciding not to focus on it too much, she pulled her hands from out of her blanket, and with it came the book she had been ignoring all this time. Opening to where she left off, she realized how much of the story she’d actually forgotten. Sentence after sentence didn’t seem to jog her memory. Her cheeks began to inflate in frustration. Was she going to have to go all the way back to the beginning just because she dozed off? It didn’t seem like there was any other option for her.

Indignantly, she flipped until she found what was to be the first paragraph. She stumbled a few times due to the table of contents and the title page, but soon enough the large blocks of text appeared before her.

“To fly, one gives up looking at the sky,” she read to herself quietly, “and to slither, one gives up seeing the world as it is. The two would never agree because their gazes were cast in opposite directions. ‘Why would I need to squeeze my prey if I can swipe them with my talons,” the bird declared haughtily, showing off its blackened blades to an unimpressed snake. ‘Your solution lacks grace. Anything that paid attention to your idiotic screeches would know how to escape. That is why the superior strategy is to ambush your food, and hold it until it gives up.’ Their days were spent bickering over the same subjects, until either of them grew hungry or the other ran off to sle--”

A light knock on the window interrupted her. She spared little more than a glance before returning to her sentence. But then another rap followed. Was it a flock of birds getting lost and confused in the weather? She’d seen a bird fly directly into the window before, but the noise it made on impact was much louder than what she was hearing now. It might have been nothing more than her tired mind spooking her when it was just Selkie moving something around. Lorne said to pay no attention to things like that when she was trying to read.

“Hey, look over here already!”

She wasn’t imagining it. A tiny voice was speaking to her from beyond the window. Her eyes immediately focused on the cloudy backdrop, spotting a golden dot among the grey gloom.

“Alice! I really did find Alice! Ooh, Titania is going to be so happy when I bring you to her!” The glee in every exclamation only made Etoile more uneasy.

She gave the room a good look. There was no one else in there with her. Selkie was likely nowhere nearby. It didn’t take much to piece it together.

Meekly, she asked, “Are you talking to me?”

“Of course, silly little starlet! There’s no one else there, right? I’ll be coming in shortly.”

She was going to ask how it planned to get through the window, but the way it nonchalantly phased through the glass stole any words she might have been forming. The entire motion was unnatural, to the point that a pit was forming in Etoile’s stomach. Instinctively, she took a step back. She never thought something so small could make her feel so afraid.

“Now why do you look so scared, little Alice? Don’t you recognize me? Have you forgotten your old friend Tal? Don’t worry, Titania will help get you your memories back!”

She shook her head. Her back was to the door, but she couldn’t manage even a whimper the way she was now.

“Oh, I get it! You think the people here are your friends, don’t you? That’s too bad, ‘cause they aren’t even people! Not entirely, anyways. They play the part really well, if I do say so myself. I’m almost jealous at how easily they earned your affection. It took us nearly ten years, you know.”

She threw her book as hard as she could. It stopped mid-flight, and landed in front of her with a defeated thud.

“I’m no bug, Alice.” the enthusiasm in its voice had all but vanished. “If you’ve forgotten that, you’re worse off than I thought. I better take you back before that pesky Savant realizes I was here.”

A slight rumbling rattled Etoile’s legs. The vibrations escalated as that golden light came closer, growing brighter, and bigger, until she could see a hand reaching for her. She didn’t understand why the sight of it made her nauseous, but she was on her knees in an instant, holding back tears and whatever was still in her stomach. The air was dense, too dense, and the pressure was crushing her. She could feel her limbs lock up as a strange heat overtook her.

“I see members of the Night still have no notion of how to properly pay a visit.” She could barely register the voice as Selkie’s, but amidst the pain and confusion, an immense sense of relief washed over her.

“Ah, so the Savant left his pet to watch our Alice. It would be better if you greeted me with your face rather than a door, sea dog.”

“If I opened the door now, there would be no telling what an unruly sprite such as yourself would do to my dear Etoile. Not that I would allow you to go anywhere.”

“Is that what you call our Alice? A fitting name considering her purpose, but you of all fae should know that Titania’s wrath is not something to be tried. She’s never been one for sharing, especially not children.”

“Leave before my patience is tried any further, imp. I could care less what Titania wants with my child. That is an issue she should settle with Lorne, instead of breaking into his home and robbing him of his charge.”

A sigh came from in front of Etoile. “There are quite a few traps left in this room. Fine, I’ll leave for now. Don’t expect Titania to take this, lightly, however.”

“Your threats don’t worry me. Shoo.”

Nearly blinding her with its exit, whatever had invaded the library was gone, but Etoile still felt terrible. A powerful headache was claiming her now, and along with it a growing sense of alarm at the pillar her body had become. She could feel the door slowly push against her back, but moving out of the way proved completely impossible for her.

Selkie squeezed through the crack as quickly as she could, snagging her dress along the way. It didn’t seem to matter to her as she plucked Etoile and hurried out the room. As they passed the threshold, the pressure that had gripped her throughout the encounter vanished, and she felt she could move her arms and legs again.

“Good, the rest of the house is still uncompromised,” she heard Selkie whisper under her breath. If she wasn’t so drained, she’d find something suspicious about those words, but now all she wanted was to close her eyes and wake up feeling better. Maybe then everything would make sense to her.