The rite of passage 3- Never regret your path

Shonah faced the druid, who patiently awaited her response. A response she hadn't yet formulated.

Well, I listened to the conversation between you and Odn. I know that you made with him a strange pact and pretend to be our druid while truthfully you don't believe shits of what you say.

She couldn't possibly utter such a thing. So, she stumbled through a few incoherent words. "Eh, you know... I... I mean..." It was far from her finest moment of improvisation.

The druid narrowed his eyes, silently working to decipher her words. Growing impatient, he finally asked her bluntly, "You overheard the conversation between Odn and me, didn't you?"

"Well... I... I mean..." She realized she needed to break free from this cycle of repetition and form a coherent sentence.

"Yes..." She mustered the courage to admit.

The druid fixed his gaze on her for a few moments, then raised his hands in exasperation. "I was telling Odn, 'Put in a damn door that I can close.' But he was all, 'Noooo, the honor of the people would never allow anyone to enter by subterfuge or eavesdrop.'" He mimicked the tribal leader's voice.

Shonah wished she could assert that she held her honor and hadn't eavesdropped or used subterfuge. Unfortunately, the evidence didn't support her.

"How am I supposed to block the door? Should I heave a piece of furniture in front of it? Do I look like someone who lifts things?" He gestured towards Shonah, continuing without waiting for her input. "I haven't delved into the intricacies of the human body and Essences just to haul chunks of wood around!"

The druid pressed his hand against his forehead, murmuring softly, almost to himself. His words were too faint for Shonah to catch. She decided she'd eavesdropped quite enough for one night and didn't move closer to the druid.

Finally, as if snapping back to reality, Selior glanced back at her. "You know what? This is for the best. I won't need this then." Grabbing the druid's cloak, he tossed it to where he'd retrieved it earlier. "I can't even begin to tell you the relief. That thing feels like donning a suit of porcupines"

Shonah was taken aback. "But that's the druid's cloak! Your symbol! You cannot speak of it in such a way!"

Her comment seemed to strike a chord, as Selior reverted to his earlier irritated tone. "Listen carefully. Do you think I actually want to be the village druid?" His tone discouraged Shonah from responding to that question. "I've been impersonating Sel Kam for nearly thirty cycles! And do you know what I've found enjoyable in all that time?" Once again, she remained silent.

"Nothing! I'm adorned like a colorful parrot in a cloak of withered, foul-smelling leaves as if it were some sort of extravagant costume party. And to top it off, I'm brandishing a wooden scepter, crowned with a mere leaf! A LEAF! All the while, I prattle on about elementals, attributing them with the power to dictate the fate of a village tucked away in some corner of the Cartcussa continent!"

Half of the words Selior had uttered were a baffling blur to Shonah. Masquerade party? Elementals? Cartcussawhat?

Not wishing to reveal her lack of knowledge, she refrained from asking further questions and simply nodded, observing him as he vented using unfamiliar terms.

The 'druid' went on, "The only thing I truly cherish is when I'm in my room, engrossed in my research. It's what I left Ksamin, and everything I held dear, for." He paused as if to collect himself, and perhaps to temper his emotions.

"So now that you're aware I'm not who I'm supposed to be, I can very well rid myself of this leafy torture and return to my comfortable clothes. Thank you."

Shonah had no intention of further upsetting the druid. Even if he wasn't the genuine druid she had believed him to be, he still held the recognized role in the village. It was best to let it be.

She waited for the druid's complexion to return to its usual state. "Pardon me for asking, but... it seems to me you were rather quick to accept that I discovered your secret."

Selior settled into the nearby chair, seemingly unscathed by Odn's outburst. "Why should I be concerned about that? As far as I'm concerned, you won't breathe a word of it to anyone, and everything will stay right here."

"Not that I have any intention of spreading this around the village, but... why are you so sure?" She immediately regretted asking. Her blasted curiosity! What if now Sel Kam, or Selior, or whatever his name was, went and spilled the beans to Odn? They could easily make her vanish into the forest without a trace...

In response, Selior chuckled, a reaction that both embarrassed and irritated Shonah. "Look, I'm not the one who ventured out at night to eavesdrop on a conversation between the two most significant members of the tribe."

"I wasn't eavesdropping..."

Selior regarded her with a mixture of amusement and a warning not to fib.

"Alright, I was eavesdropping," she confessed, "but that wasn't my original intent!"

Selior raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, no one's pointing fingers here. What I'm getting at is, the way you put it, Odn would come down on you. Not on me. I won't say a word, but if you want to face the punishment, be my guest..."

The message was crystal clear. If Shonah had accidentally let this slip, the repercussions would fall more heavily on her than on Selior. In the grand scheme of things, she was a nobody while he was the druid. A brief silence hung between them, but Selior swiftly broke it. "So, if you're interested, I can start explaining the ritual. Just don't expect me now to go on about spirits, Mother Earth, and all that yadda-yadda."

Shonah brushed aside the man's comment. Maybe she now understood why Odn had been driven to destroy his table. Nevertheless, she needed his guidance, so she nodded resolutely.

"The ritual involves a single trial, categorized broadly into two types: Search and Hunt," he explained, holding up two fingers. "The Search involves bringing back a boar's tusk and a wolf's tooth or claw to the village. If you succeed, you'll join the Seeker clan." He paused to settle more comfortably into his chair, then continued, "Hunting is more straightforward. Kill and bring back an aggressive animal. A boar or a wolf if you aim to join the Fang clan. A bear if you have your sights on the Strength clan."

"Regardless of your choice, you can only take the ritual clothes and a flint with you. Would you like my advice?"

Shonah nodded affirmatively once more.

"Leave this village," he stated firmly.

Shonah regarded him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

Selior scratched his black and gray goatee. "I mean... don't undergo the trial. Seek out other places where they don't send children off to their deaths."

Okay, now he was going a bit overboard...

"The village doesn't send us to our deaths. It allows us to choose, and it's a test of our worth. Besides, the spirits reward the deserving."

Selior let out a sigh. "Right. I forget you've been raised on this nonsense from childhood. Come with me," he said, rising from his chair and heading towards a door behind him. Shonah wanted to protest again but thought better of it. As the druid stood up, she allowed her gaze to wander around the room. Only now did she realize how peculiar it was. It was a room that was wider than it was long, likely serving as a vestibule to the temple. Strewn across the floor were the remnants of the table Odn had destroyed before she arrived. On the opposite end of the wooden debris sat a piece of furniture—perhaps the 'desk' Selior had used to provoke Odn?

Adorning the walls were vibrant tapestries depicting the four spirits of the tribe.

Kesk'Rim, the nocturnal of flames, a gigantic raven with six wings aflame;

Drui'Shar, the breath of dawn, a huge white wolf riding the currents of air;

Daum'Gdur, protector of life, manifested as a bear formed of earth and stone, its body adorned with protruding spikes;

Lastly, Cohob'Neim, messenger of the deep, embodied as a boar the color of crystalline rivers.

The renditions on the tapestries left something to be desired. Certain details were better conveyed through oral descriptions of the four spirits. But in the end, if Selior didn't believe in spirits, it likely didn't matter much to him that the fabric presented an incomplete portrayal of the spirits.

Realizing that the druid was forging ahead without her, Shonah ceased her examination of the room and hastened to join him.

The door led to a corridor that split into two different paths. Selior went to the right and gestured for her to follow. In a short span, they arrived in another room, no bigger than the first. In the center of the floor, there lay a trapdoor. Leaning over the latch of the trapdoor, the druid turned to her. "Do you expect me to do everything? Help me lift it." Shonah mentally repeated that this was all for the success of the ritual, and pushing aside the urge to give him a good punch in the nose, she moved to assist him.

Grasping the handle and positioning herself slightly bent, she began to raise the trapdoor. The weight wasn't excessive, and truthfully, Shonah could have managed it solo. Before her now stood an open hatch. The light was dim, and peering downward, she couldn't quite discern how far the descent stretched.

Selior wiped what was presumably pretend sweat from his forehead with his arm. "Phew. Alright, great. Now just follow me," he said, seizing the sides of the ladder and starting to descend. Shonah copied his movements, and in no time, both were on the ladder heading downward. The descent proved neither challenging nor lengthy, yet throughout, she couldn't shake the anxiety of not knowing how far down it went.

Upon setting foot on the floor, Shonah immediately noticed two things. First, a damp, enclosed scent had replaced the woody aroma that had permeated the temple. Second, a subtle source of light now illuminated the surroundings. Turning around, Shonah saw a room in front of her, well-lit by numerous torches. Selior, who had descended earlier, must have opened the door, allowing the light to flood in.

He could have left it open earlier to spare her the descent in darkness, but in order to avoid potential complaints, Shonah chose not to dwell on it and entered the room. She was almost left breathless, gazing at the immense space before her. The ceiling soared as high as the temple itself, and the room's width was at least four times that of the initial entrance. Each wall bore peculiar symbols etched into the raw rock, and upon further inspection, Shonah realized the same symbols adorned the floor.

In the heart of the room stood an enormous stone table, also etched with a multitude of symbols.

"Impressive, isn't it?" he interrupted her reverie. "This is my research room. It's also where your supposed rewards from the spirits take place."

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Perplexed, she turned to him. "What do you mean?"

"Do you truly believe the great fire crow cares if you wrestle a wolf with your bare hands? Do you think you're rewarded simply for returning from a battle that might have claimed you?" He let the question hang, unanswered.

"Yes, but the spir-"

"It is I who secures your rewards, Shonah. ME, and no one else. It's thanks to my knowledge and the materials you bring that you receive anything. Not because of the spirits you hold so dear."

Selior's blatant dismissal of everything Shonah held sacred couldn't go unchallenged. To reignite the conversation, she retorted, "For all I know, you're not the first druid in this village. Spirits have existed long before you!"

Selior regarded her with an almost affronted expression, then waited a moment before speaking. "Alright, maybe I've been a bit harsh. Mmmmm. Okay, softer approach it is. Do you know what happens if you pass the ritual?" He adopted a more conciliatory tone.

Shonah was still irked, and the man's demeanor didn't help. Nevertheless, she chose to calm herself and listen. "Once the rite concludes, the victor is brought here to the temple, where the druid seeks the spirits' blessing for their triumph."

"But have any of you ever actually witnessed this ceremony?" Selior inquired, leaning in slightly.

"Well...no," Shonah admitted. Although many had successfully completed the ritual, including Drimann, none had been allowed to witness it. It always transpired in the...

"Because it is right here, in this temple, that it unfolds. Through a complex ceremony that binds your body with the life-force of one of the creatures you've brought to me."

Shonah was at a loss for words. She couldn't insist that it was impossible; after all, he was the current druid, not her... "Could you explain how it works in detail?"

"It would be too intricate to elucidate now. I'd have to walk you through all these symbols, and the time before the ritual wouldn't suffice. Just understand that it hinges on my presence, the individual's body, and the animal's blood chosen for the ceremony."

"Then how was it done before?" Shonah couldn't help but doubt. This tradition was older than five generations. Selior wasn't even born when it was established.

The druid spoke candidly, "In the very same manner. However, the ritual was made in another way and the outcomes were much more modest."

"What do you mean?" she inquired.

He gave her a look, prompting her to deduce the answer. "Since when has the first part of the Derenna Forest been so secure?"

Shonah pondered for a moment. It had always been that way for her. "Well, since before I was born..."

She was interrupted once again. "Since I assumed the role of the druid here, Shonah," he said with a grave expression, his green eyes locked onto hers. "It's because my rituals are the result of countless cycles of study and experiments. The outcomes are far superior. It might even be possible for attributes to pass down to descendants without them having to undergo the ritual themselves."

In that instant, Keio came to her mind. It wasn't because he hailed from a family that had enjoyed the spirits' favor for generations... It was because both of his parents had been rewarded by Sel Kam... Reluctantly, she had to acknowledge the logic behind it all.

"Then why? Why claim it's a reward from the spirits?" she pressed, though she already had an inkling.

He gestured widely. "To keep up your foolish and senseless traditions. Did you happen to overhear what I told Odn? If it were up to me, you'd all pass through this table without the need for the ritual," he stated, then shrugged. "I'm abiding by the pact I made with the previous tribal leader, but that doesn't mean I agree with their methods."

Shonah fell into a pensive silence. She continued to explore the room, taking in the strange containers of liquids and piles of written documents. What Selior had revealed, even though she was hesitant to accept it, aligned with what she had overheard from Odn. A profound sorrow welled up within her.

Had they truly dedicated their lives to upholding these...traditions? Had they unfairly judged those who didn't pass a rite, when they could have all supported one another instead? Was there anything she could do to break free from this cycle?

Without turning to face him, she began to speak, "So, you suggest that I leave? Through the woods?"

"I don't wish for you to jeopardize your life, young girl," Selior rushed to clarify. "I propose we conduct the ritual right here and now. Once you've gained enough strength, you can escape before Odn has a chance to realize what's happened."

"You're asking me to leave my sister and everything dear to me behind?" Her indignation was probably beginning to show. As much as the druid's idea might have been well-intentioned for Shonah's sake, she would never leave her sister to such a fate.

"What lies ahead if you don't is a trial that poses a grave risk to your life. Alternatively, you may opt to remain within your clan, subject to the ridicule of the village. Neither option seems particularly appealing, I must admit."

He was right, there was no denying it. Shonah, however, was resolute. She wouldn't abandon the village. She would undertake the ritual, confront it head-on, and then consider how to effect change for everyone. While her objectives had shifted, her commitment to the path remained steadfast.

Turning to meet the druid's gaze, she spoke earnestly. "Selior, I want to express my gratitude for your offer and for shedding light on the reality of the ritual." It took a moment of courage, and a deep breath before she affirmed, "But I will undergo the rite." The weight of the declaration settled on her. "I will undergo the rite," she repeated, the words now her own. "Please, relay this to Odn. Let him know that I'll announce my chosen test to the entire square the following day."

Selior regarded her with a mixture of sadness and discontent, realizing that he could do nothing more than honor her choice. "Very well. If that is your decision, so be it. Tomorrow, I will apprise Odn of your choice. We shall convene in the evening for your proclamation."

Shonah expressed her gratitude to him and made her way towards the staircase. It struck her that for the first time ever, she hadn't uttered the customary farewell: 'May the spirits be with you.

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As Shonah stepped inside, her body subtly signaled the toll the long day had taken on her. The fatigue had finally caught up, but before seeking rest, her empty stomach demanded attention. With quiet determination, she made her way to the kitchen, hoping to find something to appease the hunger that had been gnawing at her.

In the silence of the night, she didn't expect to encounter anyone. Still, caution was second nature to her. She moved deliberately, making sure to minimize any noise as she softly turned the doorknob and entered.

Yet, as fate would have it, her parents awaited her in the living room. Their eyes bore a mixture of concern and relief, a silent testament to the hours they had spent in anticipation of her return. All her attempts at stealth had apparently fallen short. It was clear that they had been waiting for her, her absence through the day concerning them deeply. They sat there, an emblem of parental concern, their gazes fixed upon her.

If only her mother had put all that attention into the right things...

"Do you realize how long it's been since anyone in the family has heard from you?" Her mother's voice sliced through the air, carrying a frosty edge.

Shonah understood that escaping to her room wouldn't work this time. If she tried, her mother would chase her, heedless of who was sleeping. So, she opted for the most sensible, though unpleasant, course of action. She pulled up a chair and sat in front of her parents.

"So?" Her mother pressed, her tone expectant. "What do you have to say?"

In Shonah's perfect plan, she would slip back in without encountering her mother, leave the next day without another word, announce her test to the crowd, and commence the ritual. That way, she would have zero contact with her parents and avoid the risk of being caught in a storm of screams and hysterics with her mother.

Unfortunately, the plan had already crumbled earlier, when she discovered her parents on sentry duty at the house. So, the revised plan was simply to say, "I will undergo the test. I've spoken to the druid and informed him of my intention."

Her mother stood frozen as if turned to stone by those words. Her father's expression shifted slightly, but he withheld his judgment. He was likely awaiting Shonah's mother's reaction. She, on the other hand, stared at Shonah with clenched teeth and unwavering eyes. It seemed like she was about to let out a scream louder than any before.

Then, something utterly unexpected left Shonah speechless. Her mother burst into tears.

She leaned towards Shonah's father, sobbing like a child of just a few moons. Shonah, as she prepared to face the rite, had considered all possible reactions from her mother, but crying was not on the list. She was prepared for the worst fights, and the harshest insults, but nothing could have prepared her for this sight. Her mother, face streaked with tears, was unable to form coherent words, cradled by her partner.

"I've already lost so much, Kafio!" Her mother's head rested on Shonah's father's shoulder. "I can't bear to lose her too! Please, do something! I can't..." Each word was punctuated by sobs, cries, or desperate pleas. Shonah stood up, torn between the urge to go and embrace her.

The commotion caused by her mother's cries drew out uncles and grandparents, who quickly gathered to see what was happening. With her mother's outburst, they instantly understood the situation. Their gazes fell on Shonah, tinged with surprise and something that felt like bitterness. It was as if they held her responsible for reducing her mother to tears, as if she had no right to decide her own fate. Thankfully, Shonah's father asked his aunt to accompany his wife to their room, leaving him alone to speak with his daughter.

After a short but noisy interval, only Shonah and her father remained in the room.

"I missed you today," he broke the silence, turning towards her.

As peculiar as the opening of the conversation felt, Shonah couldn't help but respond honestly.

"I'm sorry, Pai. I didn't mean any disrespect," she confessed, her gaze sincere. "I was just feeling overwhelmed, and being inside the house was suffocating."

Her father shifted from his previous seat to stand beside her, and she settled back into her chair.

"I remember you saying earlier that it wasn't your place to explain why your mother was upset," he began, a touch of weariness in his voice. "But maybe now, it's time to give you some context. You may not know this, but she was born prematurely, and her parents hadn't undergone the ritual yet. Her father chose to do it, hoping for a better life for her. He never returned. And then, much later, a few moons before you were born, your mother's twin, Perapo, was determined to redeem their father's failure and took the test. But like him, he never came back," he paused, the weight of the stories heavy in the room.

It was a tale steeped in sorrow and loss.

Shonah remained resolute, the stories of her family's past trials not swaying her determination. "If you're trying to tell me that attempting the ritual means I won't return, it won't deter me."

Her father offered a faint smile, his gaze filled with affection. "No, Shonah. I wanted you to understand why your mother reacts the way she does. It comes from a place of love, from both of us." He let out a soft sigh. "But I also realize how much this means to you. That's why I wanted you to stay and talk to me." He held her gaze firmly. "Now, I'm going to share something with you, Shonah. Something that must remain between us."

Shonah took a step closer, maintaining their locked eye contact. A secret shared only between father and daughter? How could she refuse?

"I'm all ears, Pai."

Her father's gaze shifted from Shonah to the door leading to the chambers. "When your mother and I were blessed with your presence by the spirits, I was at the age to undergo the ritual. I had trained tirelessly, I was prepared. I knew I could succeed, and I knew it was one of the things I wanted. I also believed I could provide a better life for you."

Shonah stood in silence, her mouth slightly agape. Her father had considered undertaking the rite. Since when?

"Why didn't you go through with it?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Because your mother pleaded with me not to," he responded, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Her mother? So this wasn't the first time she had tried to stop the ritual. She had impeded her partner, and now she was trying to discourage her daughter from it...

In a voice louder than intended, Shonah blurted out, "And why did you listen to her?"

He glared at her, and Shonah bowed her head. "Because I love your mother, and I love you. I was persuaded not to gamble my life, but to devote it to you. And to this day, I still wonder if many things would have been different... or if instead, I had met the same fate as my brother, inside some creature's belly," his gaze now distant, lost in thought.

"Yet, not a day goes by when I am content with the choice I made, Shonah. That's why I'm sharing this with you," he returned his attention to her, his intense dark eyes locked onto hers. "Go through with the ritual, return victorious, and prove to the spirits that you are deserving."

With her father's words, this was the second time in the same evening that Shonah found herself stunned. First, her mother in tears, and now her father urging her to face the trial. Tears of gratitude streamed down her face, and she embraced her father tightly. "Thank you, Pai..."

It was only then that she realized how much she had needed to hear those words.

'Show the spirits that you are worthy.' She would do it not just for herself, but for her father too.

She'd face the trial, emerge victorious, and then transform the tribe, liberating them from that senseless tradition.

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The next day, Shonah stood before the temple's door, Selior on her right and Odn in front. The entire square was packed, including her father and some of her relatives.

Her mother, still in the throes of depression since the night before, hadn't emerged from her room. Grandmother, feeling the same, had gone to be with her, and they hadn't seen each other since.

Odn's booming voice brought Shonah back to the present. She couldn't afford the burden of her mother's or grandmother's grief at this moment; she had a ritual to commence. She took a deep breath to calm the rising tide of anxiety.

"Shonah, born of the brave unbrave tribe, has chosen this day," Odn's customary pause for emphasis echoed through the square, "She has chosen to uphold the ritual!"

Cheers erupted from the crowd. Initiations were always seen as a positive event, as the belief held that spirits were appeased through these rites, regardless of their outcome.

"Shonah has made her choice, but she did not reveal it to the druid or to myself," a trace of resentment lingered in his voice "She has decided to announce it directly to all of you. Here and now, you will witness the decision of Shonah, of the unbrave tribe!"

She wished he'd stop emphasizing her tribe... It was embarrassing.

Meanwhile, Odn extended his hand toward her, prompting, "Shonah, reveal your decision."

Shonah approached Odn, who made space for her. From this vantage point, she could see every individual, every gaze fixed on her.

For a moment, she contemplated fleeing without a word. She had never been accustomed to such attention, but she understood it was part of the tradition. If she wanted to change things, she first needed to embrace them.

Taking a deep breath, and steadying her nerves, Shonah focused on her goals, envisioning the future she desired, and mentally outlining the steps she needed to take to make it a reality.

Finally, she opened her eyes and declared the name of her chosen test.

"I will undertake the ritual for the Strength Clan. I will hunt down a bear."