The rite of passage chapter 2- The day before the decision
Shonah had held the tribal leader's stern gaze for as long as she could, but finally, she averted her eyes. It was only then that she realized almost the entire crowd was watching her. At that precise moment, she discovered that she had never truly been prepared for the attention of so many people. Embarrassment washed over her in a single breath. The tips of her ears were ablaze; she must have looked crimson in the face.
Turning, she sought the gaze of her family members. Finally, the moon was high in the sky, and its light, along with the flashlights, provided her with some solace. She knew she should never have attempted this. Her mother stared at her fixedly, mouth half open, a look of astonishment etched on her face. She hadn't expected much support from her mother, but somehow, she had managed to receive even less. Her father regarded her with a mixture of contemplation and concern. His jaw clenched, and no words of encouragement or support came forth. Not even a reassuring hand on her shoulder, for Kesk'Rim's sake.
She decided not to turn towards the gazes of the remaining family members; if her parents struggled this much to offer emotional support, she shuddered to think of the others. Luckily, she didn't have to dodge any more stares, as her attention was once again captivated by Odn, who hadn't finished his speech.
"Brothers and sisters, as of this evening, I decree that Shonah should not be approached unless she expressly requests it. Only family will have the privilege to stand by her and support her on the path she must tread."
Yeah right, "family" and "support" are practically strangers in my house...
"Now, I address you, Shonah," he said, once again fixing his gaze on her eyes. "You are expected at the temple on the next moon, arrive when it stands high in the sky. Sel Kam will elucidate the ritual for you, and thereafter, you may give me your answer following a period of contemplation. I hope to learn of your choice soon," he emphasized the last words. "I hereby declare the gathering concluded. Forgive me once again, and may the spirits be with you."
The entire assembly responded, "May the spirits be with you," before dispersing to their respective areas in the village.
Shonah was immobilized. She hadn't anticipated being chosen that night at all. She knew she was now of an age to confront the ritual, and indeed, she wanted to face it. It's just that now, faced with the inexorable reality that she would have to decide the course of her life... she felt adrift.
She was shaken from her stupor by her father, who gently touched her arm and said, "Hey, come on, let's go home. We'll think about what to do tomorrow at first light, okay?"
Well, it was certainly a better approach than just staring at her in silence.
The same couldn't be said for her mother, who continued to watch her with the same unchanging expression. If her mother hadn't closed her mouth, Shonah might have thought she'd been transformed into a stone statue by Daum' Gdur himself.
Taking a deep breath, Shonah released a long sigh and followed her father, who had already started for home with Jial in his arms.
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Once Shonah's sister and cousins were put to bed, her grandparents inquired about what had transpired at the tribe's gathering. Her mother, snapping out of her stupor upon arriving home, was eager for nothing more than a prompt to share. She launched into a detailed account of the entire gathering.
The grandparents now regarded Shonah with expressions mirroring those of her parents. The grandmother, in particular, bore the same look as her mother just before. Was it some sort of family trait? Would Jial have gazed at her sister in a similar manner once she grasped what awaited her?
"How dare that old bear decide your fate so abruptly?" Her mother had now become even more agitated, restlessly pacing from one end of the dining room to the other. "He disregarded tradition, that's all. But, in any case, jokes on him. He'll be left empty-handed because she won't go through with the ritual. Well, he got what he deserved," she declared, looking at Shonah's grandparents and father.
"Huh?" said Shonah, gazing at her mother with a questioning expression.
As if she hadn't heard her, the woman persisted in her speech, "Odn should be well aware that no one here is going to support that foolish ritual. Why are they still summoning our members? Haven't we given enough already?" The maternal grandmother nodded absently with each word.
Normally, Shonah would have dismissed her mother's words; she knew she believed she could decide everything. And as long as it pertained to things like 'what to have for dinner' or 'how to arrange the house', she was fine with it. But this was her life, her decision. Shonah would not allow her mother to think for a moment that she could decide for her.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I believe I have more say in this matter than you."
All eyes turned to Shonah. Her aunt was left speechless, her father looked at her with the same intensity as he did at the gathering, and her grandmother had turned notably pale, staring at her as if she had announced she was leaping off the cliff of farewells.
Her mother, being the last to turn, regarded her with incredulity. "What did you just say? Are you suggesting you'll go through with the ritual?" Her tone was sharp, her eyes blazing, leaving little room for misunderstanding.
Since she didn't feel like getting into an argument, even though she wanted to make it clear that it was her life, Shonah opted for a conciliatory response. "I don't know yet. I need to consider—" But before she could finish, she was interrupted.
"WHAT IS THERE TO CONSIDER?!" her mother shouted so loudly that her grandparents jolted in their chairs, and Shonah herself took a step back in surprise. "Do you happen to know what the ritual entails? HUH? Well, I'll tell you."
"Arnel—" her father called her by name, trying to calm her down, but it was clear she was overreacting for him as well.
"NOT NOW!" she thunderously replied. "Listen to me. The ritual involves choosing an aggressive animal to hunt in the darkest part of the Derenna woods. No weapons, no assistance, nothing. Absolutely NOTHING." She concluded, raising her voice for emphasis. "That's it! Now you know everything. Are you satisfied?"
Shonah was quite taken aback by her mother's reaction. She had always seen her get worked up about household chores, but this?
This was an entirely different approach.
Deciding to respond anyway, Shonah said, "I already knew how the rite worked, Mother," and without giving her mother a chance to reply, she continued, "I need some time to consider it. But not right now. I'm exhausted and would like to rest. If you don't mind." With that, she got up and headed towards the room she shared with Jial and her cousins, confident that her mother wouldn't follow, screaming, so as not to wake the little ones.
Nevertheless, her mother couldn't resist shouting in the living room. From a distance, Shonah could hear, "You don't have permission! Come back here!" With her parent's hysterics gradually fading, she finally entered the communal room for the younger ones. Her steps were soundless, a skill honed through numerous attempts to slip out of the house in the evenings, as well as countless challenges with Keio.
She passed by Jial, who was snoring heartily with her mouth wide open in her bed. Shonah gazed at her sister and formed a soft smile with her lips.
"I'll give us the life we both deserve," she murmured in a hushed voice so as not to disturb her, and finally settled in to rest as well.
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As Shonah woke up, she found the entire room still steeped in slumber. Deciding to venture into the common area, she hoped to avoid any encounters with her mother.
A quick survey revealed that the space was empty. She proceeded cautiously, only halting when a sudden growl from her stomach arrested her movements. The day before, she hadn't finished her meal due to the gathering, and afterwards, she'd been too engrossed in her clash with her mother to realize she was still hungry.
Recalling that her grandmother had prepared some dried fruits earlier and stored them in the kitchen, Shonah swiftly made her way there.
It didn't require a keen nose to locate the provisions. Her grandmother, being small and unable to access the upper floors, arranged everything downstairs. After a brief search, Shonah held the coveted loot in her hand, which promptly satiated her hunger.
Having refreshed herself, she decided to outline a few key objectives for her day.
Number one: Avoiding her mother.
Number two: Mentally prepare for the ritual.
Number three: Gather as much information as possible about the rite itself.
Number Four: Evaluate the feasibility of employing strategic advantages, if possible.
The plan seemed perfect to her, and as she finished chewing the last of the dried fruit, she set off. Waiting for her outside the kitchen was her father. And already, point one was in danger of falling apart. A promising start.
"The sun is still low for such activity," he observed.
In the end, her father had been more understanding. He deserved to know.
"Pai, I'm not going to back down. I'm sorry, but I have to take charge of my own decisions, and you don't seem inclined to hear what I want. This is my choice, not hers, not yours, and not anyone else's."
Her father approached her, never breaking eye contact. It was one of his ways of addressing important matters. He always maintained unwavering eye contact. Shonah found it a bit peculiar, but she didn't want to show any disrespect, so she met his gaze in silence, awaiting his response.
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"I understand that your mother's reaction was extreme. We discussed it even after you left."
"I suppose she was very open to constructive criticism," Shonah huffed.
"She has her faults. No one is an exeption to that," he tried to downplay.
"Yes, but some have more faults than others..." Her mother certainly held a distinguished position among the keepers of faults...
Her father placed both hands on her shoulders. "Shonah, it's not my place to say this, but your mother has lost a lot because of the rites. I don't want to justify her behavior, nor do I want to tell you that you have to tolerate it... Just don't take it out on her if she seems overly concerned."
She heaved a sigh. Her father was skilled at mediating situations, perhaps not in her mother's presence, but certainly with others. Finally, she replied, "Alright. But my intention remains the same. I want to go see Mailo, and I'll visit Sel Kam tonight. After that, I'll make my decision."
Her father's smile was gentle, a fleeting warmth. "May the spirits be with you."
"May the spirits be with you, pai," she whispered, breaking their gaze, hastening her exit. She comprehended her father's viewpoint, but she had no inclination to grapple with her mother's emotional storms. The farther she distanced herself from the house, the better off she'd be.
The dawn air embraced her, filling her lungs with its crisp vitality. She savored the stillness of early morning, a world free from prying eyes.
Now, her task was to locate Mailo and glean the information they had shared with him. Another adult might have chosen circumspection, but her friend never minced words with her. It was worth a try.
Approaching the gathering square, she veered left, navigating towards the seeker clan. Each clan comprised myriad abodes, nestled behind a modest wooden partition shielding them from the village thoroughfares. Mornings and nights, sentinels guarded the entrances, permitting only clan members to pass. Except, of course, for the unbrave clan; they had no guardians at their gate.
Arriving before the two guards at the clan's entrance, she offered a respectful nod. "Shonah, it's early still. I'm afraid you're not yet a clan member," one of the guards said, a playful glint in their eye.
She returned his smile. "No, Peris, I'm here for Màilo. As tradition dictates, he still has some time before he formally joins my current clan. Nevertheless, I wanted to visit him. You know, I won't be around when he has to make the move permanent."
The spirits seemed to favor her, as the guard motioned for his companion to step aside. "Don't make me regret this. Go on, wake him up, and bring him out."
"Thank you, Peris! You can trust me," she assured, reciprocating the earlier wink. At last, she stepped into the seeker clan, needing only to reach her friend's house. Màilo's family resided in a modest home toward the back of the clan; it stood out, built just right for three people.
Generally, the clans adjusted their homes according to the needs of the families, ensuring none were too cramped, but neither were they overly spacious. Still, it was better than constructing a house without considering how many it could comfortably shelter. This comparison always lingered in her mind, ready to surface at any given moment. She had no intention of indulging in self-pity, quickly dismissing those thoughts as she arrived at Mailo's room. She rapped gently on the wooden window, careful not to disturb his parents.
It was evident that her friend was immersed in a deep sleep; she had to knock repeatedly, over and over again. At last, the window swung open wide, and Màilo poked his head out, eyes half-closed and mouth gaping.
"Enchanting," she couldn't help but say, suppressing a laugh.
"Shonah...?" He finished a yawn, eyes crinkling as he focused on her. "What brings you here? Drui' Shar has yet to fully raise the sun..."
"Never mind that. I came to talk. Would you like to go to the woods?"
"The woods?" another yawn punctuated his sentences. "Why do we need to go there to talk?"
Maybe he was still too drowsy to grasp why she sought seclusion, and she honestly didn't feel like explaining everything. So, she decided to keep it straightforward. "Màilo, I'm heading to the woods. Tomorrow, I'll give my answer to the rite. If you want to join, that's fine by me," she paused, making sure her friend wasn't drifting back into slumber, "Otherwise, I'll see you upon my return." With that, she turned to leave.
As expected, her words jolted her friend awake. "Wait, Shonah... Alright, alright," he relented when he saw that she wasn't about to change her mind, "Give me a moment to change and I'll meet you out there... By Kesk' Rim, you're more stubborn than a damn boar," the last part he said in a hushed tone, but it was enough to be heard.
"Hurry it up, you oaf."
Finally, Màilo clambered out of the window, and together they set off toward the first part of the Derenna forest.
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The woods always offered a welcome respite. Here, worries seemed to dissipate, replaced by the embrace of nature. Its sounds, a symphony of life, far surpassed any noise that echoed in the village.
For this tranquility, they owed thanks to the Fang Clan, who had cleared this part of the forest of its once-aggressive inhabitants. Now, only gentle creatures like deer, squirrels, hares, and the like roamed freely. No threat to them.
The initial clearing extended for several fields' lengths, covering a space twice the size of the village. Encompassing this sector were imposing palisades, crafted from wood and stone, standing tall enough to overshadow even the village walls. Erected by the Strenght tribe, they hinted at mysteries hidden beyond.
Shonah wasn't privy to the exact secrets sheltered behind those walls, though she speculated based on the tales. One could never be certain of the precise circumstances. Whatever lay beyond, it certainly wasn't friendly. There had to be a reason why the walls stood where they did.
"Could you at least tell me why we're here?" Mailo interjected.
Her friend didn't seem pleased about being roused and brought to the woods. He already spent more time there than he cared for, and she couldn't blame him.
"I wanted to find out what they told you about the test," she confessed. It was true, but deep down, Shonah knew that hearing about the test just before facing it directly from the druid would leave little time for mental and physical preparation. Assuming she'd managed to prepare at all.
"But in all honesty, I just needed to get away from my family. And I didn't want to be alone," she admitted, her gaze a blend of sympathy and sorrow.
Mailo let out a sigh and settled onto a nearby log, facing Shonah. "I understand all too well... My home life has been a nightmare since yesterday. After giving up, I'm now 'the disgrace of the family.' According to my father, I'm destined for a clan of failures," he finished, his head drooping.
She understood well enough not to press Mailo about his decision to forgo the rite. The weight of the situation was undoubtedly immense for him. Their families, in a curious reversal, held similar, yet opposing, views. Mailo's father found dishonor in skipping the rite, while Shonah's mother deemed it shameful to participate. If the burden weighed on her, she shuddered to think of how much heavier it must be for Mailo. There would be time to talk with him later, she assured herself. She couldn't allow thoughts of perishing during the rite to take hold. It was a luxury she couldn't afford.
"You looked even more scrawny than usual yesterday, you know?" she teased, offering him a warm smile.
"But it's not me, It's Odn who's the size of two bears! I swear, he could barely fit through the temple door. And that door was built to accommodate people walking through two by two!"
"Ah, I thought maybe you'd find some inspiration from that to put on a bit of weight."
And so, the day whisked by, Shonah and Mailo conversing freely, much as they did in their youth, when the world expected nothing more of them.
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Time sped by, its wings swifter than they'd realized. It was only when the sun's last glimmer surrendered to the forest's inky embrace, transforming vibrant emerald to somber black, that the two friends grasped they'd spent the entire day in conversation, meandering from topic to topic.
Swiftly, they retraced their steps, Shonah accompanying Mailo back to his clan. There, the guard informed him that his parents were inquiring after him. Mailo let out a resigned sigh and headed towards his house, offering Shonah a somber farewell.
The moon, though not yet high in the sky, had already ushered the square into solitude, as communion with the spirits commenced. Shonah, despite her full day outdoors, had no intention of facing her mother just yet. Instead, she ventured to see if the druid was available.
As she approached the temple, a subtle tension gripped her. It was the first time she'd ventured this close, and at this moment, she was acutely aware that the path she was on could lead to peril. It marked a significant step, one she sensed deep within was necessary, but for which she might not possess enough courage.
Immobile, she gazed at the temple, her lower lip firmly caught between her teeth, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. The impending revelation filled her with terror; this was the irreversible step, the choice that would define her path.
She shut her eyes, willing slow breaths to steady her nerves.
She needed to speak with the druid. She needed to understand what awaited her.
Finally, she opened her eyes, determined. One step followed another, a rhythm of resolve, until she stood before the temple's entrance.
Reaching the towering wooden door, she raised her hand to knock but halted as voices emanated from within.
The discussion within the temple seemed fervent, though the thick walls muffled the voices. Shonah opted to skirt the structure, heading toward the source of the conversation, hoping to catch clearer snippets.
"The girl possesses courage and a resolute spirit. She intends to undertake the rite. Are all preparations in order in case she succeeds?" The tribal leader's voice, measured yet distinct, carried through the walls, requiring no strain to comprehend.
Then came another voice, softer but equally distinct. "Odn, why must we adhere to these antiquated customs? Can't you see, my skills could benefit everyone?" It had to be Sel Kam, the druid. He sounded markedly different from the few times she'd overheard him.
"Don't dismiss them as antiquated. Reverence for tradition is a cornerstone of our tribe," Odn responded, his voice resolute as stone.
"Yet, reverence for tradition leads to the sacrifice of countless young lives every cycle?"
"The ritual is sacred. It is what the spirits have ordained for me and my tribe."
"Oh, please spare me your spirits—"
"SELIOR!" Shonah jolted in fright and instinctively stepped away from the wall. Her quick reflexes proved warranted as the sharp sound of something shattering followed. Her heart now pounded heavily in her chest, the sound echoing in her ears.
She had never witnessed the tribal leader lose his composure like this. After today, she was exceedingly grateful for that fact...
Odn must have struck something in a fit of anger or to assert dominance over the druid. Had he called him 'Selior'? Druids seldom changed names, only appending 'Kam' for distinction.
'Selior' fell silent, and Shonah prayed Odn hadn't harmed the poor druid in his burst of rage.
"I respect your beliefs, Selior. You, in turn, must honor our pact. That, and only that, is required of you." He paused, as was his custom. "Apologies for the table. I'll send someone to craft a replacement."
"Of course. There's also a writing desk to your left if you're still inclined to break things." Not quite druidic phrasing. And what was a 'writing desk,' anyway?
Shonah could sense Odn's heavy footsteps, pressing herself as flat as possible against the wall. It was fortunate he hailed from the Strength clan; attempting to hide from him would have been futile otherwise.
Her heart thudded in her throat as the sound drew nearer, then gradually receded.
Once she was reasonably certain the shroud of night would shield her, Shonah let out a slow breath of relief.
With the moon now ascending high in the sky, she found ample justification for her presence within the temple. Deciding to forego a knock, she stepped inside. It marked her inaugural entry into the sacred space. The passage was dim, its end veiled by a curtain that repelled even the feeblest rays of moonlight.
"Stupid brute. If he had smashed some of my notes, I would have shown him." Definitely not the voice of the druid who spoke during significant ceremonies.
Peeling back the curtain, she beheld a spacious room, but she scarcely had a moment to take in the details. Sel Kam, clutching two pieces of wood, stood before her. What struck Shonah first was the druid's attire. He wore a garment adorned with small, circular objects that cascaded from top to bottom, forming a straight line down the middle. His legs were clad in trousers so snug they resembled socks, and his footwear...pointed? She struggled to find the right word to describe them.
Words eluded her. In the Gathering square, Sel Kam always appeared draped in his dark green cloak, bearing his druid scepter. Yet here, before her, stood an entirely different figure, both in appearance and demeanor.
Breaking the silence, it was the druid who turned first. His eyes widened so dramatically that they resembled two small moons. Realizing the situation, he dropped the two pieces of wood, straightened his posture, and, with a motion as swift as it was fluid, retrieved his dark green cloak.
He cleared his throat twice in succession before speaking. "Young one, as you requested, here you are, in my true presence."
Ah, now he looked like Sel Kam. The voice, the demeanor—it all fell into place, a familiar image of the druid. It didn't take a genius to see it, but this meant he was... pretending?
"You are here because the spirits wish to test your courage and valor," he continued, "Are you prepared to learn what is expected of you?"
Preferring to set aside her curiosity about the druid's peculiar behavior for now, Shonah knelt down and formally replied, "Great Selior Kam. I ask—"
"What did you call me, sorry?" The druid's voice reverted to its prior tone.
"I...what?" She stammered.
"You called me Selior. How did you know?"
At that moment, Shonah realized she had addressed the druid with the same name Odn had used just moments before. Now, he expected an explanation for why she had used it.
Oh, for Kesk'Rim's Sake.