This is probably the last chapter rewrite I will post on the (old version) because it's the last one I want feedback on. My goal with this chapter is to present both Sam and the Captain as "reasonable". This is a tricky balancing act because Sam needs to get upset at the captain for her to feel motivated to further explore her powers, specifically, how to turn off her tech field.
I accomplish this (in theory) by having the captain act in a dismissive and somewhat sexist way. But I don't want the captain to come across as a total jackass. He's got negative attitudes and certain biases that annoy Sam, but (hopefully) he doesn't come across as completely unreasonable. The reason he's unwilling to do much of anything has more to do with the rules he has to follow than being unwilling to listen.
But, Sam gets angry anyways. She might even overreact a bit, upset at what she sees as not being taken seriously. My objective here is to have her reaction, which basically amounts to extorting her boss to get her way, seem reasonable. She's acting in self-defense and she's compromising by agreeing to meet the captain part way.
Well, that's my objective, to have them both seem "reasonable". The poll at the end is basically just asking if you feel I've succeeded. So, without further ado, here's the rewrite of chapter 7.
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Appearing on the ship’s bridge as a hologram, I find the captain and Tom, sitting at their respective consoles. Margaret seems to be gone, and a quick query of the ship’s internal sensor’s network tells me she’s in her cabin. I don’t peak inside her cabin, of course, but a free-floating digital “do-not-disturb” sign has been placed at the door, visible via the augmented reality all the crew can access via their implants.
“Oh you’re awake,” captain Tanlier said, looking pleased. “First off, let me say thank you for successfully landing the ship. It was a bit touch and go, but this spot isn’t that bad, we’re already planning to build a little pier connecting us to the shore. When we build fishing boats they’ll have a place to dock.”
“Why did you send Margaret to wake me?” I ask, keeping my anger in check. Captain Tanlier most likely had no idea what Margaret would do inside my dream, it didn’t feel like I had a good enough reason to be angry at my boss just for sending her. Not unless he didn’t have a good enough reason for waking me, of course.
“Oh, your tech field shrunk when you passed out,” the captain explained. “We couldn’t open the main cargo bay doors. We plan to build the pier directly from the ship’s cargo hold, to facilitate offloading,” he explained. The captain checked his display, “It looks like they’ve got that open and are using the robotic arm and crane system to start the construction process. We’ll have to use up a few more prefab houses, but it should only take a day or two to get it done so long as your tech field continues to cover the whole ship. We’re sort of hoping it extends to cover the pier too, that would be great.” He added hopefully.
As I didn’t have any control over that, I had little to say on the topic. What I did want to say was; “Captain, I want to file a formal complaint against Margaret.”
“What did she do?” The captain asked with a sigh.
“Well first of all, she invaded my dream, that’s a violation of my privacy…”
“I was the one who ordered that,” the captain pointed out, scowling slightly, “your dream is on the Shipnet, which I think means it’s not really private. And you fell asleep on your shift. I wouldn’t have sent her if you weren’t asleep during working hours…”
“My dream server has privacy settings…” I checked my system logs, doing it myself since Doppel was still busy trying to fix the broken server. “You overrode that.”
“Again, I was within my rights, you were asleep during working hours.” The captain’s scowl was deepening.
“I passed out!” I objected. “I think I over-used my magic to right the ship with some sort of magnetic field…”
“That’s not part of your abilities… is it?” The captain looked skeptical.
“It is now, I think.” I concentrated, manipulating the electrons in the air near the captain, making them spin around in a little vortex that generated a magnetic field that tugged on the metal insignia on his uniform. The captain placed a hand on his shirt, over the insignia, with a dumbfounded look.
“That’s a neat party trick,” he said after regaining his composure, “But a one million ton starship?” he asked doubtfully.
I shrugged, I wasn’t even sure how I’d done it, and I myself found it hard to believe I had. I just didn’t want the captain to think I had randomly decided to take a nap. “Why did you think I’d passed out?” I asked instead.
“Well, I thought it was just nerves, you know, from almost crashing. I’m not mad about it, it can happen to anyone as a reaction to a high-stress situation when that adrenaline high comes crashing down…” the captain said, sounding reassuring, or perhaps patronizing. He also sounded as if he still believed that to be the more likely explanation.
I frowned. That whole line of thinking sounded sexist to me. He thought I’d passed out because I was someone prone to fainting after a high-stress situation? It was something only a stereotypically weak-willed woman might do, I thought to myself, I bet he wouldn’t have come up with that theory if I were male. I chose to ignore that and move on. “Secondly, she tried to seduce me while I was impaired…”
“She’s bi?” The captain asked, surprised, he glanced at Tom who reddened slightly but pretended not to notice the look. The captain was clearly aware that Tom and Margaret had become something of an item over the last week.
“I was in male form.” I admitted, “But I was also in a fugue state, unable to recall my real identity, confused, dull-witted… vulnerable, and unable to give consent...”
“Did she succeed in seducing you?” The captain interrupted, looking apprehensive.
“No," I admitted, "but…” the captain cut me off.
“Tom, hear that?” The captain said with a relieved chuckle, turning away from me to address the navigator, “Sounds like your woman was trying to cheat on you.”
I grit my holographic teeth, angry at the captain’s dismissive attitude as Tom replied, “She’s not my woman anymore, Captain, we broke up.”
“Oh. Already? Damn that was fast even for you.” The captain laughed.
“She’s not right in the head, Captain, serious issues, and a real freaky masochist. Wanted me to hurt her in ways I wasn’t comfortable with. I decided that I want no part of it.” Tom replied in a neutral tone.
“Oh.” The captain said again, sounding dismayed.
The captain seemed more taken aback by Tom’s opinion than my own, I thought to myself, as if Tom’s evaluation of Margaret’s mental state carried more weight than my description of her actions. But I pressed on with my complaint, feeling increasingly furious and frustrated with Captain Tanlier, “Finally, she wrote and used some sort of malware, a program that with a snap of her fingers killed one of my server minds. That’s basically hacking. I won’t tolerate her use of those sorts of programs inside a system I’m responsible for maintaining. Not to mention that the server mind she killed is a digital copy of me. She basically killed a sapient digital entity. It may not legally count as murder, but…”
The captain just looked blank. “How is that different than just leaving a server?”
I tried to explain it, how the Shipnet worked, how it used digital copies of me, how it froze those dreamer minds when they weren’t in use. But I could tell by the captain’s glazed expression that he just didn’t care. To him, I sounded like some IT guy complaining to management, I realized. “Well, it sounds like she did that to force you awake. So she was just following orders when she did that. I’ll talk to her about it if you want, not to use custom-built programs like that, but I’m not sure any of the things you’ve just outlined are enough to justify a formal complaint…” he said after I was done.
“Not enough?!” I exploded, my patience snapped.
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Captain seemed surprised at my sudden anger, but he tried to placate me, “Well it is your choice to file a complaint, I can’t stop you,” he explained, “but you have to understand, punishing Margaret isn’t something I can do that easily.”
“But, you’re the captain!” I objected.
“And I could have her arrested, put in the brig, held for eventual trial at our next port of call with a police station if I feel she’s guilty of a felony, such as rape or murder.” The captain replied calmly, “But everything you just described would only count as a misdemeanor charge at best, and my hands are tied. The Merchant Ship’s Charter only has one available punishment for an officer accused of misdemeanors, they can be voted out and demoted to crew if 60% of current officers agree they’ve acted in a manner inappropriate for an officer. You’d need nine votes since we have fourteen officers...”
“You’re saying I’d need to campaign against Margaret? I just want her to apologize and promise never to do any of those things again! Also, I want you to promise never to send Margaret into my dreams again. It was a private server. You could have just waited rather than just overwriting my privacy settings.”
“I’m sorry.” Captain Tanlier apologized, “I shouldn’t have sent Margaret, I didn’t realize she was mentally unstable and using hacking programs or whatever it is she did exactly. And, I’ll ask her to apologize, but I can’t force her to do it. Though I guess if she does refuse to apologize, I’d be willing to vote against her, for insubordination.”
“That’s not good enough,” I reply angrily. “I’m banning her from Shipnet, as she poses a risk to me and my digital copies. I don’t want her invading my dreams again, nor do I want her killing more server minds.”
“Now hold on there, Sam, when I negotiated with Henry I was forced to concede that by the new arrangements, you and I couldn’t ban an officer from Shipnet without first voting them out…” the captain admitted. “His argument was that being banned from Shipnet is the same thing as getting fired, as it’s currently the only thing we are paying people, and I can’t fire an officer without a vote.”
“So I have to get people to vote against Margaret before I can defend myself?” I asked incredulously.
“It’s basically a trail. If you get the votes, then you can ban her from Shipnet.”
“Then I’ll get the votes!” I exclaim.
“I don’t think it will be that easy. She’s already made common cause with Henry, and they’ve both been cozying up to the life support officers. Those officers need the votes because they’re worried about losing their jobs now that we’ve landed.” The captain looked annoyed. “If I had the power, I would just demote all three of them, and reassign the life support crew to general labor, but that’s exactly what they don’t want. So, that’s four votes on her side, Sam. Five counting her own vote. You’d need to convince all seven remaining officers as well as my vote. I don’t see how you could pull it off.”
“If I get eight other votes, can I count on your vote?” I asked.
Captain Tanlier thought about it then sighed again. “Well, as captain, I always vote last. So if it’s my deciding vote, and she’s refused to apologize after I ask her to, then yes, I will vote against her. But if she agrees to apologize or you don’t have enough votes, I’ll vote to keep her.” Left unsaid was that he’d vote to keep her because he’d rather have her on his side than have her as an enemy and an officer who had the power to vote against him. “That’s the best I can offer.”
“Unbelievable,” I mutter. The only way to punish Margaret was to first get her demoted by holding a trial and getting votes? It sounded more like an impeachment than a trial, which meant that the whole thing was more political than about justice. Either way, I’d have to out politic Margaret, and I suspected that the captain was right, I wouldn’t be able to pull it off. That didn’t mean I shouldn’t at least try, I reminded myself.
“I’ll vote against her,” Tom said suddenly, into the silence.
“Bad breakup?” The captain asked.
“You could say that. Or you could say I have a complaint of my own against her.” Tom replied, evasively.
“You never said anything,” the captain pointed out.
“I didn’t think it would be worth the humiliation, to try and fail to get her voted out on my own. But if Sam is going to campaign against Margaret, I’ll step up and add my own reason to her complaint.” Tom explained, sounding uncharacteristically angry.
“What did she do?” I asked, morbidly curious.
Tom looked away, “I’d rather talk about it privately if you don’t mind.” Captain Tanlier looked like he wanted to object, “Sorry Captain, but I’d feel more comfortable talking about it to Sam, she’s more likely to understand,” Tom explained.
Captain Tanlier sighed again, “Fine, I’ll dismiss the two of you from the rest of your shift, go do your private talk and plan out your eviction campaign. No doubt I’ll hear all the juicy details at the trial meeting anyways."
“One more thing,” I said coldly, “I’m going to go ahead and ban Margaret from Shipnet until the trail. If I can’t get her voted out, I’ll lift the ban, but she’s going to get a little time out until then.”
“Sam, by the agreement I made with Henry…”
“I didn’t make that agreement,” I countered angrily, “so I don't feel bound by it. I’m the system administrator of Shipnet. It runs on digital copies of me, and what I say goes.”
“I’m still your boss, Sam,” captain Tanlier replied, angry.
“And the Shipnet runs on copies of my brain. I don’t want Margaret inside my head, or inside digital copies of my head, so I have the right of self-defense. Unless she apologizes to me and promises to respect my boundaries and my rules, and not to use programs that kill my digital copies, I want her to stay out.”
Captain Tanlier and I matched angry stares, “Sam, you’re opening yourself up to a counter vote, Henry has already started campaigning against you. You’d be giving him ammunition, he’ll claim you overstepped your bounds, broke an agreement between myself and him. His goal is to demote you and take over your job. He may not be able to remove you physically as Shipbrain, you can’t be removed without killing you, but he could take away control from you, set himself up as the new system admin. Basically, he’d be your boss, able to give you orders about how to run the Shipnet.”
Have Henry as my boss, lose all my authority and be little more than a tool for others to use? I had the sneaking suspicion that working under Henry would be a fate worse than death. My voice was icy as replied, “I control the tech field, I’d just turn it off before I let that happen. Then no one will have Shipnet access.”
Captain Tanlier looked skeptical, again, and I was sick of being doubted. ”I thought you didn’t even have any control over your… ability.”
Did I have no control of my ability? Is that why he didn’t take me seriously? Well, I think it was time to change that. I focused my anger inwards and for the first time, really tried to sense what exactly I was doing to create my tech field.
Up until now, I’d sort of shied away from examining my magic closely, afraid of what I’d find. I didn’t want to know how it worked, because my ability scared me. But now, I was too pissed to feel fear. I remembered how those sparks at the end of the engine’s plasma plume had felt. Tingling bursts of magic as the energetic free electrons decayed into raw magic. I remembered how it felt to reach into the metal of the engine’s nozzle and yank the electrons into a powerful magnetic field. It was all tied together, a single unified path between electrons and my magic, the same path that had awakened my power as I’d tried to protect myself from the electron fury of the malfunctioning jumpdrive. I had power over electrons, they listened to me.
I reached out with my mind and tried to sense my tech field. I could feel it now. It was vague and subtle, but it was there. It was a volume of space where my personal understanding of how electrons should work was being forcibly applied, I suddenly realized.
All this time I’d thought I was somehow negating the hostile magical energy of this universe, a sort of anti-magic. But that wasn’t what I was doing. Electronics didn’t work properly in this universe because free electrons were too unstable and prone to breaking down into magic, turning the ones into zeroes randomly.
My tech field prevented that. If I imagined a computer game where spells worked, I was doing the reverse, running a spell where computers worked. I was forcing electrons to behave as if magic didn’t exist. Inside my tech field, free electrons couldn’t decay into raw magic, so when a bunch of them were pushed out of my field by plasma exhaust, they decayed en masse. That is why the fireworks had occurred. It all fit together.
I now understood how it worked. And with that insight, I knew how to turn it off. I just needed to accept that it was normal for electrons to decay randomly like that. So long as I stopped trying to fight that weirdness, so long as I let go of the rules I expected, and just relaxed my grip on the fabric of reality itself... My tech field should stop working.
With a deep breath, I let it go. I turned it off everywhere across the entire ship except for the smallest possible volume that would keep my brain jar functional, the fusion reactors, and the bridge. It was hard, I felt a massive strain on my already fatigued brain to take control like that. It was something like cognitive dissonance, my mind didn’t want to accept what I was forcing it to do. More than that, it felt as if I was plugging some fountain or spring, and there was a growing pressure as my magic struggled to break free.
But now, I could hold it in, I wasn’t just passively pouring out my magic to be nothing more than a tool others could use.
Alarms began to blare, and startled, the captain turned to look at his screen. It was rapidly turning red, all the green status boxes flashing angrily as system after system throughout the entire ship began to fail.
”What the hell? Sam, what’s going on? Your field...” he stared at me in confusion.
”Looks like I can turn it off now,” I told him coldly. ”So Margaret is banned until the vote. Think of it like her being on suspension until the disciplinary hearing. But if you try to override that ban, before the vote, with your system admin privileges...” I left the threat hanging.
Captain Tanlier gave me a resentful look, then sighed. “Alright, Sam, we’ll do things your way. But, If Henry asks, I’ll tell him you forced my hand, and he’s sure to use that against you.”
“Henry doesn’t worry me, not as much as Margaret does,” I said, with perhaps more confidence than I felt. Henry was worrisome too, but he’d yet to cross the line and do more than badmouth me. I wasn’t going to abuse my power just to punish him for saying mean things about me, I told myself.
I stopped holding my magic in, allowing the tech field to flow back out to cover the whole ship. It was a relief. My threat was a bit of a bluff, I still didn’t have enough control to permanently turn off my ability, no more than a normal person could hold their breath indefinitely... but he didn’t know that.