LAREINA

…

Have you ever felt trapped in that life of yours? Feeling like it must certainly be a nightmare. Yet, being unable to wake up, no matter how hard you try.

« Woman, turn that damn alarm clock off! I am trying to sleep here! » her husband shouted, his breath still smelling like alcohol. He didn’t remember, or care, that today was their anniversary.

« My dear husband, you need to go to work. If you don’t wake up, you’ll be late. » the woman replied, without expressing any real emotion. It sounded like a scripted sentence, which it was. The last time she called him by his name, he gave her a biting much harder than usual. « How dare you call me by my name, as if you were my equal! » he had shouted, before hitting her with the bottle. From then on, “my dear husband” was the only epithet allowed.

Wasn’t life supposed to have ups and downs? What happened to my ups? How long have I been stuck into this abyssal down?

« Shut the f*ck up and go make me some breakfast! » the men replied aggressively, before turning on his other side and dozing off again. He was understandably tired. After all he came back at two in the morning last night, with red lipstick all over his drunk face. He was understandably tired.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep asking that question. At this point I should get used to it. I probably am, in part. Much of my body is desensitized by now. And I have just learned not to express any thought or emotion without being asked to.

« I left you some breakfast in the kitchen. I’ll be going off to work now » she said to the man. He didn’t reply.

I used to hope it would get better. But I learned that hope can be a dangerous poison to play with. So now I don’t expect nothing from life. I just live.

No. I just survive.

…

« Look who’s late again! Lareina of course! » her boss remarked, sparking a frenzy of fake laughs from the other employees. Nobody cared that she was in fact five minutes early. « How is my old buddy doing? We had a f*cking blast last night! Ask him if he liked my present… » the man concluded, molding the shape of a woman with his hands in the air. She sat down quietly at her position.

The fact that her boss was her husband’s childhood friend was an unfortunate coincidence. Well, according to her husband it was just great luck. This way she could resign that stupid job at the library – though she was quite fond of it – and go work for his friend. « He can keep an eye on you and you can finally bring home some actual money, not that misery they give you in the shithole! » he ordered. Evidently it was not an open discussion, so she ended up having to give up on her job.

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She wasn’t really good at working at a call centre. She had always been an introvert girl, so speaking to complete strangers and try to sell them something over the phone was not exactly something suited for her talents. But after nine years she learned a few lines to repeat mechanically until the customer just dropped the call with a lousy excuse. From time to time she actually managed to close a sale, enough to put her ahead of the company average. Her boss didn’t seem to care about numbers though, as she was routinely shouted at and singled out as an example of the worst employee in the office. Her colleagues quickly understood that mistreating her was a good way to get the favour of the boss. Plus, everyone has personal stress they need to discharge on something. Or someone.

“I wonder if Jerry is still alive”. Her cat stayed with her parents when she left home to live with her husband. After that, he said that talking with her parents was childish, so she was forced to gradually cut links with them. Sometimes she wondered whether they thought that she had just forgot them…or maybe that she was too happy to think about them…or they just didn’t care enough to ask why she hadn’t heard from their daughter in years. But they seemed very happy when she finally left the house. She was 29 and still didn’t have a boyfriend, nor friends. Thankfully his father had introduced her to the son of one of his friends. So lucky that they had fallen in love and get married in a matter of weeks!

During the launch break, she had learned how to sneak to the roof to have 20 minutes of quiet. And perhaps smoke a cigarette, if she managed to steal one or two from her husband’s stack. Then again, it was only a matter of time before someone noticed that the door to the roof wasn’t locked properly.

She looked down to the street, while smoking. It seemed so far away. Yet it also seemed very close. So close that she could reach it with just one step if she wanted to. She closed her eyes. Maybe for once she would have found the courage to be late from launch break…to extend that quiet…just a little bit more…or maybe a lot more…

…

« Quite the view, right? ».

Lareina stepped back from the hedge of the building, startled. A man was standing behind her.

« Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you » he said.

She looked at him. He was very well dressed, groomed and polished in his appearance. He had black hair with a few grey stripes and a piercing gaze as blue as the sky. Why was a man like that talking to her? With her shabby black hair, definitely too long, and her skinny figure. Her eyes were once a charming black, but now just a lifeless grey, as her face and skin herself seemed to be deprived of any colour or lifeforce.

« Who…who are you…what are…you doing here…» she managed to ask. Was he an employee? Did they finally find out about the door? No, he didn’t look like an employee. In fact, he didn’t look like a local.

« That’s not very important right now. I am just here for business. What’s important is who are you. And what are you doing here. » he had a way of sending shivers through her spine with every word. She could tell he was not an ordinary person.

« I am…I was…just smoking…I didn’t…I don’t… » she was trying to justify herself. Did that man saw her on the cornice of the roof? He most definitely did. Yet he didn’t seem very surprised by it. Nor like he wanted to stop her.

« You are free to do what you want Miss Lareina ». How did he know her name? « You can jump if you want…but I can offer you something much better than quiet... »

« I can offer you Power »