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Chapter 66

The Tulin Estate gardens were just as eccentric as the house had been. They were full of strange and exotic plants which must have taken an enormous amount of work (and possibly a bit of alchemy) to cultivate in Longren’s climate. There were little porcelain figurines hidden throughout the flowerbeds. There were fairies, frogs, and garden gnomes, and Corvina even spotted something that looked like a bright-pink replica of a flamingo, although she’d only seen flamingos in books before so she couldn’t be sure.

“Ooh, a hedge maze!” said Anne, hurrying ahead to the entrance of the maze. “Should we try to find our way through this?”

A guard standing at the entrance of the maze nodded at them as they went in.

Anne maintained her pace slightly ahead of Corvina. “I’ve always loved mazes like this,” she said. “They’re super fun.”

Corvina watched Anne’s back for a moment, and then reached out towards her shoulder. “Anne, I—“ Corvina started, but Anne suddenly ran ahead.

“Ooh, look at this statue!” said Anne, running up to a marble statue of a cat with amber for eyes. “Isn’t this super pretty?”

Corvina sighed. Anne had been the one who’d convinced Eva to let them have this alone time but now she was clearly avoiding having any sort of serious conversation. Fine. She could be patient. She would wait until Anne brought it up herself.

They reached a dead end and had to retrace their steps.

Anne continued to talk about this and that for a while, just empty small talk. But Corvina enjoyed listening to her speak anyway. Maybe just ignoring their fight and pretending it hadn’t ever happened wouldn’t be so bad?

But after a while Anne fell silent. She had a thoughtful look on her face, and Corvina braced herself.

“Hey, Corvina?” said Anne.

“Yes?” said Corvina. Corvina could feel herself holding her breath.

If Anne was still angry, Corvina would hear her out, just let her say what she needed to say, and then apologize afterward. No matter how much she felt she was in the right, she just… she just didn’t want Anne to hate her.

“Are you feeling okay?” asked Anne, in a gently concerned tone.

That...wasn't what Corvina was expecting. “What?” she said.

“The letter,” said Anne. “It can’t feel good to have someone judge you like that when they’ve never even met you. I’m really sorry you had to read that. You don’t deserve to have things like that said about you.”

Corvina stopped in her tracks.

When Corvina didn’t respond, Anne finally turned around to look at her. “Corvina?” said Anne.

Corvina was standing behind her, staring at the gravel path beneath them, her hands squeezed into fists by her side. Her nails were digging into her palms painfully but she didn’t care.

“Why do you always do that?” asked Corvina.

“What?” asked Anne, looking flustered. “Do what?”

“You constantly bring up all these things like they’re nothing! All these things that I’ve already— that I thought I already—“ Corvina felt herself choking up. She took a moment to gather her thoughts. “All these feelings that I’ve spent years burying, good and deep so that they’d never see the light of day again, you always just… reach into my chest and pluck them out so easily. And the worst part is, you don’t even do it on purpose, you’re not even trying to manipulate me, you’re just like this!”

“Corvina…” said Anne, tentatively reaching out to her. “Corvina, are you crying?”

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Corvina reached a hand up to her cheek and it came away wet. She was crying.

Anne threw her arms around Corvina’s shoulders and said, “I’m so sorry, Corvina, I really didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Why should I be upset that Prince Elyon thinks I’m an untrustworthy schemer?” asked Corvina. She could feel her voice shaking as she said it. “I cultivated that reputation on purpose. I earned it.”

“That doesn’t mean words can’t hurt you,” said Anne, still holding Corvina.

“But they shouldn’t hurt me,” said Corvina, leaning down to bury her face in Anne’s shoulder. “I should be above that.”

“Why?” asked Anne. “Why do you have to be a stone? Why aren’t you allowed to have feelings.”

“Because!” snapped Corvina.

“Sorry,” said Anne.

“No,” Corvina pulled away and grabbed Anne’s face with both hands. “Stop apologizing! I only wanted to talk to you tonight so I could apologize to you!”

“What?” asked Anne. “What for?”

“For getting mad at you,” said Corvina. She blushed and let go of Anne’s face, turning her own face away. She couldn’t stand to look directly at Anne while saying these things. “No matter what the ideal version of this plan would be, I should’ve… I should’ve taken your perspective into account. I’m not used to working with others as equals. I’m not used to taking other people’s emotions into consideration as anything more than a tool to use or an obstacle to overcome. I was judging you by my own standards. I thought you should just be able to ignore and dismiss your feelings the way I… the way I usually do.”

Corvina glanced over at Anne and was surprised to see that she looked, well, surprised.

“But…” said Anne. “But I criticized the way you do things and then the moment something went wrong I came crawling to you to beg you to fix it! I made you read that letter that said such awful things about you because I had no idea how to solve the problem on my own. I still just…” Anne paused. “I still just don’t feel good about hiding things from people. Not when it’s important things. Not when they’re important people. Important to me, not like, politically important. But I can’t even do anything on my own. I just rely on my allies all the time. So I really should have just listened to you. I should just shut up and do whatever you say.”

While Corvina was still trying to process this, she was surprised to find her own voice saying, in a bitter tone, “Sebastian is an important person to you, then?”

“He’s an important friend, god,” said Anne. “Don’t tell me you're also going to assume I’m in love with him just because I’m nice to him.”

“I didn’t say that, I just…” Corvina sighed and rubbed her temples. “Look, I don’t resent you for coming to me for help, and I don’t want you to shut up, and I don’t think you should just do whatever I say. And I do think you’re capable of doing plenty on your own, but also you shouldn't have to do anything on your own. I really believe that, I’m just having a hard time internalizing that for myself, I… Ugh, how do I explain this?”

Corvina found a carved marble bench nearby and sat down. “Back in the drawing room just now, when I snapped at you… in that sort of situation I would usually kick everyone out of the room and just work on the problem on my own until I could find a solution. But I don’t want to just figure things out on my own anymore. I want to figure things out with you.”

“Corvina…” said Anne, sitting down next to her. “Are you sure? I’m not that smart. I’m not sure I can contribute much. My title as Saintess is pretty much the only thing I have and that’s not worth much anymore.”

“Is that why you were so upset when you were denounced?” asked Corvina. “Anne, you don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re plenty smart, and the way you bring people together is a remarkable talent in itself. I never thought it would be possible for Sebastian and I to have an honest emotional conversation, and you made that possible. You forged the most unlikely possible coalition of people to oppose the emperor, and you did it through sheer force of personality. Not because of your title, but because of who you are. Everywhere you go, people just… like you. That’s an incredible skill to me. I’ve never been very likable.”

“That’s not true!” said Anne. “I really like you! I’ve always really liked you.”

Corvina blushed and smiled. “Your ability to genuinely like other people is a pretty remarkable skill as well.”

Anne blushed as well.

“Next time, if you want to loop someone in on a plan, just tell me before you do,” said Corvina. “Together we can figure out how best to go about it without too much risk.”

“Does that mean we can go back to being friends then, the way we were before?” asked Anne. “Before our fight, I mean.”

Corvina was quiet for a long time. Anne was looking at her with sparkling blue eyes. How was it that she seemed so cheerful and full of life even after such a draining conversation?

Corvina took Anne’s hand in hers. “Actually, Anne…” she said. “I’m not sure I want things to be the same as they were before.”

“What do you mean?” asked Anne.

“Well, um…” Corvina took a deep breath. “Actually, Anne, I feel like—“

Suddenly a hand reached out from above and dragged Anne up and over the hedge directly behind them. Corvina shouted her name as she felt Anne slip from her fingers and into the darkness.

And then Anne was gone.