The Rise of a Weird Demon King!

The last thing I remember was the building being on fire. There was a loud crashing sound and then darkness. I don't know how much time has passed, if any. I can't see or feel anything, Am I paralyzed, or something?

*This is the worst afterlife ever. *

Then a prompt shows up before my "eyes."

Select gender...

"Male."

Select Alignment...

*Oh hell yeah! It's like DnD!*

"Chaotic Neutral"

Select End Goal...

End goal? Uh... Let's go big. Rich? Powerful? Respected? Beautiful Ladies? Damn, that sounds like a king! But... chaotic Neutral needs a twist...so...

"I want to be the Underworld King!"

Yeah, let's see what this system does with that. Hahaha

Generating Possibilities...

"Welcome to the Demon System! If this is your first time as a Demon, you're in for a treat! All you have to do is think "Quests" to see Quests. Think "Stats" to see Stats. Good Luck!"

*Wait. What?! Hold up! Demon System?! I'm being reborn as a demon? No no no, that's not what I wanted to roll!*

*Stats*

Demon System:

Unhatched. 17th in que.

*What. The. Hell.*

*Ok, after thinking about it, this might be fun. I won't have to get a job or insurance. No car payments or rent. Sounds like all the fun and no work. I can get behind this. Tick tock, tick tock, let's go! I've got things to do!*

Demon spawning in 5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

I'm tucked away in a eggshell. I can feel my arms and legs and everything. Wait...3 legs? No, that's a tail! Bro, I got a tail! It feels like a octopus tentacle. Neat!

Now, this shell needs to go! Wait.

*Stats*

Feeble Demon: Cjuuxtk Level 1

Strength: 1

Dexterity: 1

Constitution: 2

Wisdom: 1

Intelligence: 5

Charisma: -10

Xp: 0/100

Health: 10/10

Mana: 0/10

Skills: N/A

*Uh... negative 10 charisma? Like no one likes me? Or ever will? What a load of crap.*

I start pushing at the shell. It has a wet paper texture and finally tears open.

Light!

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

No, not light. I'm looking at another shell 2 inches from my face. Looking around more, I see eggs everywhere. They seem to be about 2 feet tall, and they wiggle constantly.

I start pushing my way out of the egg shell. "I'll take things I never thought I'd be doing for a thousand, Alex."

Quest: Eat 5 Feeble Demon hearts.

*Woah! A quest to... eat my clutch brothers and sisters?!*

I look at the shell next to me thinking about the quest, and I hear a low growl from off to my left. Turning as quickly as I can, I see another demon coming towards me. It's climbing over eggs and each time it's front hands touch an egg, it's breaking the shells under it.

*Ok brother! Time to fuck around and find out!*

I launch myself at the demon and we start rolling around and hitting each other. Think "toddler fight club." This is ridiculous. I finally start chewing on its leg and squeezing it's neck with that wierd tail I've gotten.

*This tastes amazing! Just like garlic chicken. Well shit, no wonder it was after the rest of the clutch. I'm so hungry now too! I guess this quest might not be so bad after all.*

A final squeeze and it's dead.

(10 xp)

*Ok, that's cool. Let's grind!*

I quickly start digging it's heart out.

I've got these little hands with 3 fingers and a thumb with long sharp nails that seem perfect for this.

With a decisive yank, the heart is out, and bottoms up.

(1/5 Feeble Demon hearts.)

*I'll never wear gloves, but this is pretty sweet.*

I start looking for the next victim.

*I'm not going to break any eggs. I doubt there's any xp in them. I'm looking for a fight!*

While waiting for another hatching I decide to take stock of this little body. I'm about 3 foot tall, light green skin, 3 toes on each foot, wicked black nails on each toe. There's the tentacle for a tail that's about as long as I am tall. I can rub my head with it.

*Holy shit! I have horns!*

Sure enough, 2 small horns about an inch tall are on my forehead. They don't feel sharp. Just round like a elbow. On my head. Neat.

*Ok, let's get this quest done!*

Looking around, I see another demon crawling out of a shell. I immediately climb over and wait.

It looks the same as me, and I can't help looking at it's face. It looks like it ran into a door. All the features are squished with beady little eyes.

*No wonder I have negative 10 charisma.*

As soon as it's free I jump on it and wrap my tail around it's waist and dig my toes into it's guts and pull up on its head. I never expected its head to pop off.

(10 xp)

*Too easy!*

With a quick dig and a tasty snack, I'm looking for my next contestant for a little game I'm calling "pop goes the feeble."

(10 xp)

(10 xp)

(10 xp)

Demon System: Quest complete. 50 xp!

Demon System: Ding! Level up!

Demon System: New Skill!

*Woah! Awesome! Time to check the stats!*

*Stats*

Feeble Demon: Cjuuxtk Level 2

Strength: 2

Dexterity: 2

Constitution: 4

Wisdom: 2

Intelligence: 6

Charisma: -10

Xp: 0/200

Health: 20/20

Mana: 0/10

Skills: Rip(1)

Rip: Your nails Rip your enemies flesh with less effort.

*Ok ok ok! Now we're cooking! Hmm... now what do I do?*

A loud guttural yell caught my attention real quick. A pack of big demons were coming into the area the eggs were laid. The biggest one looked real pissed. The rest were following behind her. I'm saying her because... You know. I'm guessing that's my mother?

*What do I do? Do I greet her? Run away? Shiiiiiit.*

*Let's see how fast I can run!*

I start running away from the big ugly mother. Two steps, and I'm hanging upside down by my foot. She grabbed me with her tail.

"Jejejrk ejwhah djens?"

"Huh?"

She taps my head with her claw. I feel a sharp pain and a trickle of blood running down to one of my horns.

Demon System: New Skill Learned!

*Stats*

Feeble Demon: Cjuuxtk Level 2

Strength: 2

Dexterity: 2

Constitution: 4

Wisdom: 2

Intelligence: 6

Charisma: -10

Xp: 0/200

Health: 20/20

Mana: 0/10

Skills: Rip(1) Demon Tongue (1)

Demon Tongue: You can understand Demon Conversation.

"I said, Are you the first?"

"Yes, Mother."

*First to survive at least!*

"Excellent. As the strongest you can pick either a token or a spell. The token can be used to buy a weapon or the spell can be your weapon. Choose now."

"Spell please."

*Heck yeah, I'm going to be a demon wizard!*

Another finger nail to the forehead, a drip of blood.

Demon System: New Spell Learned!

*Stats*

Feeble Demon: Cjuuxtk Level 2

Strength: 2

Dexterity: 2

Constitution: 4

Wisdom: 2

Intelligence: 6

Charisma: -10

Xp: 0/200

Health: 20/20

Mana: 10/10

Skills: Rip(1) Demon Tongue(1) Firebolt(1)

Firebolt: shoot a small Firebolt at your enemies.

*Sweeeeeeeet!*

"Ok. You're hatched, you got a spell, and no one else is ready to go yet. Time to put you into the war. Let's go."

"War?"

"What, you think we're hatching demons just for fun? Hahaha! The Demon King needs fighters to rip apart the pretender's forces!"

*This sounds like a meat grinder!*

A hand grabbed me by my neck and we started walking down a long underground tunnel. I immediately started thinking about how to get out of the war.

*I'm only level 2! I'm not ready for a war yet!*

Maybe my soul was yearning for a way out...

A large pentagram blazed into existence followed by a big blue hand. It snatched me as if I was a purse and immediately the pentagram closed.

Maybe I was a way out for someone else?

We flew through a dark tunnel and a few seconds later I was dumped on the floor. The blue hand fizzled away. I frantically checked to make sure my head didn't pop off or feel like it was going to.

*Of course I'm inside a pentagram!*

We were in a stone cellar with a well in the corner. Large thick books and scrolls filled the shelves on three walls. The last wall had three torches all lit. It smelled like bacon.

"It worked! It worked! It finally worked!"

*This guy. Here we go. *

"Jshd hrjek wjajsh shsk! Jidne hajd kdne!" (What the hell man! My head could have gotten ripped off!)

"It can talk? No one said anything about the Feeble Demons talking. I have a spell for that, hang on!"

The man looking through the books for the spell was in his early twenties, about 5 foot 8, with close cropped black hair. He looked like he spent a lot of time in the sun, and had clearly never summoned a demon before. He was wearing large purple robes, green shoes, red gloves, and had a random yellow belt.

*Dude looks like he shops at the goodwill after a bender.*

*Hold up! I might not know a lot, but did this guy use chalk for the pentagram?*

I smudged the chalk pentagram. Just a small part was erased. Calm as day, I walked over and started looking at the books. I flipped open one with a red leather cover.

"That's a great book about the hierarchy of demons. We need the one next to it... Shit! Shit! Shit! You're not contained!" He started real calm and then lost it at the thought of a loose demon in his celler.

*The book on the right? ...here we are!*

I flipped through the book for a second and found the spell I was looking for.

"Hshd ienen haher jrk!"

Demon System: New Skill Learned!

*Stats*

Feeble Demon: Cjuuxtk Level 2

Strength: 2

Dexterity: 2

Constitution: 4

Wisdom: 2

Intelligence: 6

Charisma: -10

Xp: 0/200

Health: 20/20

Mana: 10/10

Skills: Rip(1) Demon Tongue(1) Firebolt(1) Language Mastery(1)

Language Mastery: You can speak Human Languages.

*Bingo! Let's see if he has any food!*

"Yo! Where's the food at in here? I've traveled through dimensional time and space and I'm ready to feast! "

"Food?"

"Ok, you're having problems thinking? How about a B.L.T? Can we whip that up?"

"B.L.T.?"

"Bacon, lettuce, and tomato, on rye. I'm starvvvvvvving!"