James whirled around to confront the speaker. Before him stood a young man, approximately his age, but looking far different than the people he’d encountered so far. His running shoes and slacks were conventional, but paired with a wildly-colored Nehru jacket, the ensemble topped by a cream-colored turban. Sporting a closely-trimmed beard and mustache, his luminous blue eyes seemed bright enough to pierce walls.

James felt another wave of goosebumps hit him. “Are you an avatar, too?”

The other fellow smiled. “Indeed I am. We both stick out like sore thumbs, don’t we?” They shared a laugh.

He extended his hand. “I’m Blattesh.” James gave his name and they shook.

“I thought I was the only outsider here,” James remarked.

“Hardly,” Blattesh revealed. “That would be a waste.” He swept his hand. “This place is amazing!”

“But what is it?” James asked. “How did you get here? And why don’t the people here seem to mind getting killed?”

Blattesh raised his hands to face James. “Why don’t we discuss this over lunch? You look like you could use a break.”

James let out a small chuckle. “Sounds great to me.”

Blattesh led him to an upscale burger place a few blocks away. “Ruddfudgers?” James mumbled to himself as they entered. But now they sat at a table, each with a large burger, French fries, and a tall soda.

“I didn’t know Indians ate beef,” James remarked.

Blattesh shrugged. “I don’t think those rules apply here. Besides,” he added, making a big dent in his burger, “this food is delicious!”

“So how did you find this place?” James asked between bites.

“I bought a ring from a small vendor in my town’s gold district,” he revealed. “It had lots of other rings, but this one seemed to call to me.” He snickered. “Imagine my surprise when I tried it on, and saw the world around me shift!”

“I can believe it,” James concurred. He gave Blattesh a short summary of finding his dying uncle and going through his belongings.

“I’m not sure why we were chosen to experience this,” Blattesh remarked, “but I’m grateful for it every day.”

James smiled. “Are you stuck in an unrewarding, dead-end career too?”

Blattesh hung his head. “What?” James asked. “I’m sorry if I brought up a sore subject.”

“No,” Blattesh assured, “it’s just…” He took a deep breath and exhaled before continuing. “I have a degree from a technical college, but did poorly on my graduation exams. I’m unemployable in my field. Now I live with my parents, in the room where I grew up.” He looked up, his eyes tearing slightly. “I’m a shut-in, and a big disappointment to my family.”

James winced. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He brightened up. “So you must vastly prefer to be here!”

“Very much so!” Blattesh chimed. “Here, I can do everything I never could in my life.” He looked coy for a moment. “Including…date women.”

“I read something along those lines in my uncle’s journal,” James revealed. “I didn’t know what to make of it. Something about tulips.”

“I’m not sure how they work either,” Blattesh admitted. “I found all I could, but it hasn’t changed anything.” He took another large bite before continuing. “There’s an Odesa mission that involves rescuing a girl from a burning house. I ended up dating her.” He sighed happily. “You’re only at the beginning. But now you have something to work for.”

“So should I ditch Consolidated Inc. and go work for Odesa?” James asked.

Blattesh shook his head. “Complete all the Consolidated Inc. missions if you can, since you’re already on that path. You can work for Odesa later. And who knows,” he added, “Consolidated might have a similar mission.”

“You don’t know?” James asked.

“I haven’t done any of their missions,” Blattesh explained. “I started with Odesa. I liked the idea of working for the Ukrainian mafia. Very edgy. I don’t know if I’ll complete all the other missions. Too much slaughter is required.”

“That brings up a burning question I have,” James said. “I feel terrible about all the Karnies I massacred, just to get a job. I even killed several innocent pedestrians. Did you do that too?”

“More times than I can count,” Blattesh admitted.

“Don’t you feel bad about it?” James sputtered.

“Don’t worry about them,” Blattesh revealed. “I think they’re Tamasic anyway.”

“They’re what?” James asked.

“Tamasic,” Blattesh repeated. “What the Greeks and Gnostics called ‘hylics’. Material people, with no spiritual life, just animal instincts.” He arched his eyebrows. “Have you noticed that they don’t really seem to mind getting killed, and the police barely treat it as a crime?”

“I did,” James agreed, “but I wasn’t sure what to make of it.” He grimaced. “I assumed gross vehicular manslaughter would be a crime no matter where I was.”

“Well, then, welcome to Turf!” Blattesh exclaimed.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“Is that what this place is called?” James asked.

“I guess. It’s what’s stamped on all the collectible tokens.” Blattesh shrugged. “I’m not sure what they’re for, either, but I find them all over the place.”

“The theme does seem to be inner-city turf wars,” James remarked. Then his face grew serious. “Can you explain why the police suddenly lost interest in me at the end of my last mission? As soon as the car got crushed, they simply ran off, and I wasn’t wanted anymore. I even killed one of them, but they didn’t care!”

“That happens at the end of every mission,” Blattesh explained. “It’s like a reward. I don’t understand what the higher ethics here are, but life and death seem to be less important than doing a good job.”

“Which our corporate masters back home would probably approve of,” James quipped, “if they could get away with it.” They shared a laugh.

James frowned. “Though I destroyed a luxury car to get here, and abandoned a pickup truck. I don’t know how I’m going to continue without a vehicle.”

“Just steal one,” Blattesh deadpanned.

James was taken aback. “What?”

Blattesh snickered. “The only thing more common around here than gross vehicular manslaughter is grand theft auto. Don’t worry about it. Just don’t do it in front of a police officer, or they’ll chase you.” He ate a French fry. “At least until you evade them, or find a cop bribe.”

“Bribe?” Confusion washed over James’ face.

“They look like floating, glowing police badges,” Blattesh revealed. “Each one reduces your wanted level by one step.”

James remembered the alleyway near the barber. “I saw one of those, but I wasn’t able to touch it.”

“That’s because you weren’t wanted by the police,” Blattesh explained. “Try it again when you are. And if you find one, make a note of where it is! You’ll need more of them than you might realize.”

“No, I can believe that,” James remarked. “So have you met a lot of other avatars here?”

“Just a few,” Blattesh related. “One of them had this conversation with me soon after I arrived. He was from Norway; he appeared seven feet tall and dressed like a Viking warrior. He went on and on about Valhalla, and how glorious it was to slaughter the unworthy. He asked me to join him in his conquests, but I declined. He scared me.” He took a sip of his soda. “I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

“Sounds like the kind of guy that’d get himself killed,” James observed.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Blattesh revealed. “If you die, you just end up at the hospital with some money missing.” He finished the last of his burger. “My theory is that he moved on.”

James’ brow furrowed. “What do you mean, move on?”

Blattesh smiled. “I’m about to find out! My cash balanced reached a million dollars a little while ago, and now I have an arrow in my vision, leading me back to the church! The guide said something about the ‘residential district’.”

“The gravely voiced guy?” James asked. “He gave me my first car and pistol.”

“Me too!” Blattesh gushed. “I’m not sure what’s about to happen, but would you like to witness it? Maybe pass the knowledge on to others?”

James’ heart swelled with joy; he felt like he was about to unravel one of the secrets of the universe. “I’d love to!” He finished the last of his food and picked up his tray, Blattesh following. Only when he reached the trash can did he notice Blattesh wasn’t carrying his tray.

“Shouldn’t you bus your table?” James asked.

Blattesh pointed to the trash can. “To where? It’s not functional.”

James realized that the can’s opening was solid, merely a painted circle. He rolled his eyes and put the tray on top; it sat there, apparently hovering in mid-air. “And there’s more,” Blattesh continued. “Let’s leave and come back in.”

They did so, and James noticed that, not only was his tray gone, but so was Blattesh’s, and the patrons were completely different. “There’s no continuity,” Blattesh stated. “No memory of what happened a moment earlier. Just like when people die. They’re Tamasic in every possible way.”

James laughed. “What an odd place!”

Blattesh watched cars as they drove by. “We’re going to need a ride to the church. When you see me pick a car, get into the passenger seat.”

James looked nervous. “What are you going to do?” But Blattesh had already chosen an elegant roadster, looking something like a Bentley Continental GT. He sprung into action, sliding over the hood; the car stopped instantly. Grabbing the driver, he flung him out into traffic, then jumped into the driver’s seat. He noticed James standing there, gawking. “Move it or lose it!” he thundered.

James swallowed hard, then grabbed the passenger, flinging her into the street. “Oh, my!” she cried as she landed hard, just before getting run over by another car. James quickly jumped into the passenger seat; Blattesh took off immediately.

“What’s with the hesitation?” Blattesh snapped. “You almost got us creamed!”

“I’m sorry!” James pleaded. “That was new to me.” He looked back toward the woman; she was already gone, replaced by a chalk outline. He turned back and stared straight ahead.

“Any last questions before I move on?” Blattesh asked.

James blinked a few times. “Oh. Right. So…do you have any theories on what this world is?”

Blattesh smiled as he drifted through a corner at high speed. “I believe it to be Heaven.” He pursed his lips. “Although I find it unsettling that Heaven appears to be American.”

“This is your idea of Heaven?” James trilled.

Blattesh gave him a knowing look. “Isn’t it yours? Did you just want to sit around on clouds all day, playing a harp and praising God?”

James thought for a moment. “No, I suppose not. But this? Really?”

“The Viking chap may have had a screw loose,” Blattesh admitted, “but I think he was on to something. In Valhalla, warriors feast and fight forever. That’s not really that different from what we’re doing.” He winked. “Including valkyrie! I wish I could be here to see your reaction to your first girlfriend.”

“First?” James bristled. “How many are there?”

Blattesh drifted into the church’s parking lot and skidded to a halt, jumping out of the car and striding quickly to the church entrance. James rushed to catch up.

“Do you see it?” Blattesh asked, staring into space. “The transparent white tower! It stretches upward to infinity!”

James squinted his eyes. “I don’t see anything.”

Blattesh beheld him beatifically. “Maybe you will, when the times comes.” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “I have two last pieces of advice for you. One, get some body armor as soon as you can.”

James looked down at his rippled chest. “But then I would have to cover this up!”

“That’s a small price to pay for survival,” Blattesh noted. “And the second one…don’t necessarily trust the other avatars you meet. Not all of them are nice people. The Viking chap turned out to be relatively benign.”

James’ eyes grew wide. Blattesh couldn’t hide his beaming smile. “OK, here I go! Wish me luck!”

“Good luck,” James mumbled as he watched Blattesh move a few feet, to where he apparently saw the white tower. He turned around, smiled at James, and pointed friendly finger pistols at him. Suddenly, he froze in place, his hands not moving, his face locked in its final expression. A moment later, his body flickered a few times, then disappeared.

After pausing respectfully, James turned around to return to his car, but saw it being driven away; it had already been stolen. He chuckled to himself, then walked the few blocks back to his apartment and took off his ring. Immediately, he felt pangs of hunger, and an extreme urge to use the bathroom; he decided it was time for a break.