The small Fenerin girl reaches out for the bowl with hot stew, visibly excited with a huge smile on her face and a wagging tail behind her back. “Fank you ser!” she says enthusiastically while grabbing onto the bowl. Her behaviour puts a gentle smile on my face. “Be careful now, it’s still hot.” I say to her. She gives me a nod and carefully walks towards an empty table, where she sits down and waits. My guess is for the next one in line, who is also gently smiling at the child.
I grab her attention with a small “Ahem.” Her ears perk up and she turns around with a slight blush on her face. “Sorry, it just makes me happy that’s all.” I give her a gentle smile as well. “It’s fine, really. Here, have a nice meal.” I hold out another steaming bowl. She grabs it and quietly says “thank you” before turning towards the child. She goes to sit next to her and helps her with the spoon. Moments like these make it all worth it. It has to be worth it.
I take a look towards the line while I give another bowl to an older gentleman missing a part of his left ear. He keeps quiet, but does nod in gratitude. There’s only about 20 people left in the line, all Fenerin refugees, just like all that are waiting in the other lines with Anaron and Syphil, and the ones that already have their dinner. Only a few more before everyone has had some stew. I look at the quickly emptying pot besides me. It’s going to be tight today. Again.
Soon enough the final person walks away with a steaming bowl, leaving me with a completely empty pot. Anaron walks towards me, a blank look on his face with a hint of grimness. “How many?” I say to him without making eye contact. I keep my eyes firmly on the large group of eating people. “1311, sir. Syphil had 1452” I finally look at him with my eyebrow perked up. “You’re sure?”
He gives a sigh before taking a seat next to me in the shade of the Cathedral. “I’m sure.” He leaves it at that. Always has been a boy of few words. I tilt my head backwards, looking at the clouded sky. “So that would make it 4043 in total, 53 more than last week.” This can’t go on like this. We’re already barely getting by. Any more and we’ll have to start turning people away, or start cutting on meals.
The four members of the cooking team, all volunteering students from the University like Anaron, come walking out of the Cathedral. One of them, the new one Avy, with a sour look on her face. Oh, just what I need right now. “Is it always this bad?” she says, clearly trying to keep the anger from her voice. I just keep myself calm, no need to get worked up. “Most of the evenings we barely get by, but it has been getting harder.” That seems to have set her off as she raises her voice. “Barely getting by?! We used everything. Everything! There’s nothing left. We’ll have to start cutting their meals soon if we don’t get anymuffeffefe.” The people next to Avy, Remon and Shirin, try to cover her mouth, but it’s already too late. The cat is out of the bag now.
The people who were eating closest to us including the woman and child and the older gentleman now look our way with worried gazes, as do the few Fenerin that were helping us with giving out meals, like Syphil who are now sitting at a nearby table. I guess it’s my time to shine then. I rise from my seat and walk towards the top of the stairs to the Cathedral. More and more eyes are focusing on me, until most who are sitting at the eating area in front of the Cathedral have their eyes pinned on me. About 800 eyes in total, the closest filled with worry, the ones further away with curiosity. But all of them with their ears perked.
*Sigh* “Some of you have already just heard it, so I might as well come out with. Yes, food is getting scarcer. No, you don’t have to worry about an empty stomach. We’ll figure something out, we always have. As you may know I’ve been doing this for almost five years now and I have not let a single one of you down. I’m not about to start that now. So please, eat your meals in peace. That is all.” Most of them turn back to their meals including the woman and child. But others like Syphil and the older gentleman hold my eyes a few beats longer, doubt written all over their face.
I can’t give up on these people, but with every passing month it’s getting more difficult. It’s a miracle we still have enough for two meals a day, if only one of them is with stale bread. But still, food is food. I turn away from the eating Fenerin, shifting my attention on the five people still standing by the empty pot.
Alright, time to have a word with my o so helpful assistants. I make eye contact with the five of them, Avy is still somewhat fuming, and motion for them to follow me into the Cathedral. All five of them enter, Anaron being last and he closes the door behind him. I walk towards the broken remains of Her altar in the middle of the Cathedral and when I’m in front of it, turn to look at the five others. They stop a few feet away from me. At least, four of them do. Avy, though. Avy marches right on to stand in front of me pointing a finger in my chest and looking up at my face. “They are going to starve like this and you know it. You should’ve seen this coming, it has been building for at least several months. How have you done nothing in that time?!”
That finally snaps something in me. I can feel the stress and frustration accumulated over the last years release as one and it immediately homes in on the closest person, avy. I say nothing to her. I just stare down at her with cold eyes. She immediately wilts, taking a step back. “I-I’m sor..” But I take that opportunity wholeheartedly. “First, don’t ever take that tone with me again.” Her face whitens, as do the faces of the three others. Even Anaron seems a little surprised at my outburst. “Second. Don’t you dare say something like that again, EVER, within hearing range of the refugees. These people have had it hard enough. They finally found a somewhat safe haven for them. Don’t destroy that last hope.” She shrinks back on herself, taking another step back, but I take a large step towards her.
“And third. What gives you the RIGHT to question my conviction?! Do you actually think I’ve done nothing? I’ve dedicated the past five YEARS to these people. I’ve given it my all, taking in more and more people, while food keeps on getting scarcer and scarcer. But did I give up? No. Those who’ve given up are the people of Neurin.” I need to breath for a moment, which actually calms me down a little. “They probably didn’t even care in the first place. They just saw it as a novelty, something to raise their name. ‘Oh, have you donated to the Cathedral?’ ‘Yes, of course. It’s so sad seeing all those poor souls clustered together.’ But the thing about novelty is, it wears off.”
*Sigh* I take a step back from Avy so I’m not completely up in her face anymore.
“And now we’re lucky we can even get enough food together for the day. I’ve constantly tried my absolute best. Feeding these people, giving them shelter. Helping them wherever I can. But it’s more than I, we, can accomplish. And the rest of Neurin? They couldn’t give a prawn’s ass about what happens. Not the Council, not the Merchants and not the common folk.”
I take another step back and hit the altar, which I slump down against and sit in front of, putting my head on my crossed arms while tears fall quietly on the ground. “Tell me Avy. Please tell me what else I can do. Because I am out of ideas.”
The Cathedral remains quiet, the only thing audible my soft sobs, but it lasts only for a moment. Soon I hear a set of footsteps approaching me before a steady hand rests on my shoulder. I look up from my arms to see Anaron standing there with a sad face. “It’ll be alright. You said it yourself, we’ll figure something out.” He releases my shoulder and takes a step back. “You just take a moment to yourself. We’ll clean the place up and I’ll have a talk with Avy.” I wipe away the remaining tears with my hand. “Yes. Yes, that would be best.”
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I stand up and make my way up the stairs to the side and into the mostly abandoned sleeping quarters in silence. There should be enough room to house maybe a hundred people, but for some reason the Fenerin refuse to make use of these chambers. It makes no sense to me, but it at least allows me a bit of privacy. I walk to the end of the hallway and enter the room on the right. It’s a small room with just enough space for a bed and a table with chair. I grab the one chair, drag it to the window and sit down while I stare out over the camp down below. Clusters of tents are spread all over the ancient courtyard, extending all the way towards the roads that connect to the sole bridge. 4000 forgotten souls, and no one but us who will help them.
===
Darkness has slowly crept in while a gentle summer shower has started falling from the sky, ticking quietly against the glass. The students have probably left by now, but it never hurts to check. So I get up from the chair, only to find my room in almost complete darkness. Great. I stumble my way towards the table, where there should be an oil lamp. I wish it were one of those lighting-artifacts, but alas. I’m already at my maximum registered artifacts. But an oil lamp works fine enough anyway. Now to light the forsaken thing! After a bit of fumbling in the dark a gentle light starts to shine inside the room.
I pick up the lamp and make my way down, through the main area and to the kitchens. There is still light shining through the doorway, so someone hasn’t left yet. I walk through the door and see Anaron working on the artifact in one of the two stoves, always handy to have an artificer nearby. But he’s not alone in the kitchen. To my surprise Avy is also there, sitting on a chair in the corner with her eyes closed. Actually, she might be asleep.
The voice of Anaron pulls my attention away from the sleeping girl. “Feel better?” He looks at me with a blank look, but there is a smidge of concern in his eyes. “Yes, I’m fine now. As fine as I can be at least.” Anaron nods his head and goes back to his tinkering, leaving me a bit confused about the sleeping girl. “You’re not going to tell me why Avy is still here?” He doesn’t even look up at me while he talks. “Waiting on you.”
Hmm. Waiting on me, was she? I quietly approach her and tap her on her shoulder, but she doesn’t wake up. I try shaking her a little and seems to have done the trick. “Huh?” She looks at me with still sleepy eyes. It takes a moment for her to register who’s standing in front of me, but when she realizes her eyes shoot open and she quickly stands up from her chair. A bit too quickly as she bumps her head against the stone shelf above her. And the thing about stone is, it doesn’t give, so Avy sits right back into her chair now clutching her head.
“Are you alright?” I say with a bit of concern in my voice. “Nooo, that hurt!” She says with a raised voice. Of course it does, it would be an achievement if that didn’t hurt. “Hold on a bit, I’ll make some herbal tea.” “I walk towards the second stove, but am surprised to see that everything is already there. The box of herbs and the kettle with water. I take a look at Anaron, but he just waves me off. I swear that boy is getting way too familiar with me. I think that with a small smile on my lips though. While the water is heating up, I sift through the box of herbs looking for three specific ones. Golden lily petals, dried pirian moss and some ground licorice. I put them in a teabag and tie it shut with a tiny thread, just in time for the water to start boiling.
A moment later a sweet aroma starts to become noticeable as I pour three cups of the tea. I hand one to Avy, who gladly takes it and starts blowing to cool it off. I bring another to Anaron who takes it with a grateful nod. Then I make my way back to the table and take a seat opposite of Avy. After a moment of blissful silence, with only the sound of people drinking, I decide it’s time to speak up. “So, why were you waiting on me?” Avy stops drinking and slowly sets down her cup. “I, ahem, I wanted to apologize. I know what I said went too far, but it really shocked me there was so little. They told me at the University it was fine, that I would just be helping you with some minor tasks. But after today it’s clear that everything comes way short, it’s amazing that you’ve held on for as long as you have.” She stands up from her chair, being careful not to bump her head. Then she walks up to me and, to my surprise, bows her head deeply. “So, I’m sorry. I’m really, truly sorry.”
I take a moment to mull it over while Avy keeps bowing. I guess it was to be somewhat expected. It was her first day and all. And it wasn’t really fair of me either. After a moment of contemplation I speak up again. “I’m sorry as well. I shouldn’t have released all my frustration on you. But really, next time you have something like that to say, please do it behind closed doors.” She finally stops bowing and looks at me. “Yeah, got that message loud and clear.” She says with a wry smile. “Also, I’ll try and speak with my father, see if he can help somehow.” “Anyway, I should really go home now. You know, with classes and such tomorrow.” She turns around to look at Anaron. “You too, Ana…” But he was already coming our way, having finished his tinkering. I chuckle because of the surprised face Avy is making now. “Shall I walk you two out then?”
We make our way to the front door together, but when I open it, It becomes apparent the gentle shower has transformed into a full on downpour. “You can take one of the spare rooms if you want.” I say while still looking out. “Same goes for you Anaron.” He doesn’t say anything and when I turn around to look at him he’s already making his why towards the sleeping quarters. Figures. I turn my attention on Avy. “How about you?” To help her decide a lightning bolt lights up the night sky, quickly followed by a low thunder. “Yes, please. That would be great.” I close the door again and gesture for Avy. “Follow me then.”
We make our way through the cathedral, up the stairs and into the sleeping quarters. I gesture to one of the first chambers on the left. “This one is free and made. Everything should be ready to sleep in. If you need water, there’s a faucet down the hallway on the left. If there is anything else don’t be afraid to ask me or Anaron. He should be in this room opposite yours.”
She opens the door to her room and turns to look at me. “Thank you. For letting me stay her.” She takes a moment. “And for letting apologize.” I give her a warm smile. “It’s fine. Just learn from it and do better next time. Goodnight.” She nods at me also with a slight smile. “Goodnight sir.” And she closes the door.
With a sigh I return to my room and lock the door. As much as I want to help the refugees, there will always be a few bad apples among them. But going by the now open window and the rain drizzling in, it apparently didn’t help. I hold in another sigh. I’ve done that too much already. I bet it was one of those teenage groups, making increasingly dangerous dares to each other. But that thought is quickly dispelled by something on the windowsill. A letter pinned by a dagger. I approach the dagger and immediately becomes apparent it’s not just any dagger. It’s intricately made, with beautiful curves and some sort of blue, gemlike substance lining it’s side, extending into the blade.
As beautiful as the knife is, what it stands for is definitely not of that same beauty. I hesitantly walk up to the knife and pull it out while holding on to the letter with my other hand. I take a moment to further examine the knife, but nothing else grabs my attention. I gently put it down on the table and sit myself on my bed, letter in hand. I hesitate a moment before opening it, but do so eventually and carefully read its contents.
-
To priest Mirilly,
We come with an offer of assistance to you concerning the refugees.
And please, keep them fully in mind before you decide to refuse. They’ve witnessed Armageddon by their god. They’ve been denied shelter by their sister cities. They’ve tracked over a thousand leagues through desert and mountains. After all those hardships they finally find a haven that would take them in. It would be downright criminal to let their dream be merely that, a dream.
But with our help, you can keep that dream alive for them. We can supply the food and medicine you need. All you need to do is provide some assistance when we may require it. Not to dangerous, not too difficult.
If you decide to accept, hang the flag of Her from the top spire, we’ll send aid then and there. If you don’t, well, so be it.
Until next time,
T
-
I read through it one more time, then gently fold it and put it on the table next to the knife. I stand up, walk to then window and close it. I take of my clothes, a robe and pants which are now a little wet, and spread them over the chair. I lay down on my bed, thoughts racing across my mind, trying to think of all consequences should I accept, or refuse. After a good while laying restless, I finally make my choice. I do hope it’s the right one, for all our sakes.