Knock knock.

"Good morning sir. I sincerely apologise for the inconvenience."

Lee flung the door open, fully prepared to skewer his uninvited guest. However, he paused when he saw who was outside.

"Huh. A Faceless?" Lee frowned.

The man was wearing an immaculate three-piece suit with a golden pocket watch. Atop his head was a black top-hat with a red feather.

Most striking though was his facial features, or the lack thereof. In place of eyes, nose or mouth, there were only indentations on the smooth surface of his face. He was, literally, faceless.

The only feature on his face was a handlebar moustache right where the lip should be.

"Indeed," Faceless said as he tipped his hat. "The Organisation thinks that this situation warrants someone of my caliber."

"I was expecting a geomancer, given the size of the walls surrounding my house." Lee crossed his arms.

"Once again, I apologise for the inconvenience. Unfortunately, I assure you this is necessary as the animal in your custody is immensely dangerous," Faceless said.

"What animal?" Lee countered. "The only animal around here is a fat tabby cat."

"HEY," Tabby shouted.

"Perhaps sir," Faceless seemed unperturbed. "However, I have traced the phoorumph's biosignal to your house. It is unwise to hide it anymore."

"Fine, you got me," Lee shrugged. "But I am not sure if I should give it back to you. It's not even yours in the first place, isn't it?"

The Faceless' moustache twitched.

"In that case, I kindly insist that you hand the phoorumph over," the Faceless politely bowed. "We are willing to provide compensation for your troubles, of course."

"Intimidation is useless," Lee replied. "I am not handing the phoorumph over to a bunch of animal traffickers. I am Sparky's new owner."

A groan could be heard from the kitchen.

"That is a stu... interesting name," Faceless said after a pause. "Nevertheless, please understand that I will take that phoorumph with or without your consent."

"Try me." Lee crossed his arms. He stared unflinchingly at the Faceless.

The Faceless took several steps back and raised his arms. As he did so, the smooth dirt walls broke apart and changed into sharp spikes of compressed soil pointing towards Lee's house.

Clap clap clap. "That's impressive," Lee complimented. "I haven't seen chantless magic being used on grade 4 spells in a while."

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"You have 10 seconds," the Faceless said politely. "I am sor.."

"Unfortunately," Lee interrupted. "It is not enough."

The Flaming Trident of Eternal Magma flew towards Lee's right hand. Lee struck the ground with the trident's end and the earth started to rumble ominously.

Fountains of lava suddenly erupted from the ground, it's eruptive force disintegrating the hovering spikes surrounding the house. Despite the intense waves of heat radiating from the lava, everything else was surprisingly uncharred.

Before the Faceless could retaliate, he yelped as magma tendrils sprung up and bound his body. His moustache was obviously twitching in fear.

Lee struck the ground again. While the lava fountains receded and the earth mended itself, the tendrils binding Faceless remained.

"This is the Flaming Trident of Eternal Magma, trademark pending." Lee walked towards the Faceless. "It took me 90 years of endless battle against Blizarox and his minions in the Scorching Craigs of Nusk before I physically wrestled it out of his hands."

"Most people think the Trident is only useful for summoning volcanic eruptions and the like," said Lee as he raised the prongs towards Faceless' face. "They are correct, but I discovered some finer ways to use this tool."

Lee gently tapped a prong on Faceless' blank face.

Flames started to slowly spread across the Faceless' face as if his face was covered by a sheet of burning paper. While there were no burn marks, actual facial features revealed themselves in place of the indentations.

"STOP, STOP, PUT IT OUTTT!!" Faceless screamed and writhed in agony.

"Ever heard the expression 'paper cannot wrap a fire'?" Lee spoke, seemingly oblivious to Faceless' pain. "Being a Faceless requires the denial of one's emotions in exchange for amplified magic powers. The act of self-denial is a powerful tool for lie-magic users."

"However, lie-magic effects are easily countered by users of divine-magic. Which is why the Organisation rarely goes against prophets, clergy members, and wielders of divine weapons. Too bad for you," Lee continued, "... this trident is a divine weapon. Corrupted, but divine nonetheless."

Worn out from the screaming, Faceless begged hoarsely: "... please, ...please..."

Faceless now seemed to have the face of a normal middle-aged man. While his features were slightly rigid, pain shone through his eyes, a clear indication of his agony.

Lee's trident struck the ground once more, causing the tendrils wrapping Faceless' body to withdraw. Ignoring the thud of Faceless' limp body, Lee sat down on the porch.

"Let's try this again," Lee grinned widely.

* * *

After Faceless stopped trembling, he rose to his knees and prostrated in front of Lee.

"I.. I apologise. I didn't know of your status," Faceless stammered. "I would have been much more courteous if you made me aware of your position."

"Oh?" Lee sneered. "Does that makes any difference? Would you have spoken gently with me if I was someone less, or would I be impaled on a spike anyway?"

Faceless remained silent.

"Don't bullsh*t with me anymore. Go back and tell your boss I am keeping Sparky. If he has something to say, ask him to say it to my face."

Faceless stood up. "Can you... at least restore my..." he pleaded.

"Why should I?" Lee pointed the trident at Faceless and an earthy tendril wrapped Faceless leg and hurled him to the jungle.

"That was some flex," Tabby said as he trotted out with Sparky. Sparky was wrapped around Tabby's body much to his annoyance.

"I find it wasteful not beating up others when they are asking for it." Lee brushed his jeans. "Plus, showing them a major power gap will make them more cautious in the future."

"I am surprised at the trident to be honest," Tabby said. "I thought it was only good for barbecuing and could only conjure one lava fountain, not that whole end-of-the-world shtick you just created. Shouldn't you keep it somewhere safer and definitely not in the umbrella stand?"

"Who said that was all the trident?" Lee winked and walked back inside.

Tabby shuddered as he followed Lee.

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Author's Notes

As you can tell, I am being really creative when it comes to naming my characters.

'Nusk' comes from the word Nuska, Nusku, or Našuḫ, a Mespotamian god associated with fire, light and a warder of demons.

The phrase 'paper cannot wrap a fire' was originally a Chinese saying called 纸包不住火 (zhǐ bāo bù zhù huǒ), which means the truth will always come out.