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The Retired Immortal and His Pet
Chapter 19: Small Talk in the Bush

Chapter 19: Small Talk in the Bush

Lee gazed into the lake. Instead of his reflection, the pool of water was showing an aerial view of Cormed.

"Finally another proper use of the bronze statue, asides from being a tourist trap." Tabby walked over and sat beside Lee. After setting up a camping chair, Tabby grabbed two chilled soda cans from his personal dimensional storage and handed one to Lee.

"Well, I might as well put it to good use since it's already there." Lee popped open the fizzy can and continued looking in the lake. The images on the lake's surface occasionally zoomed in and out, the views alternating between various people and views in Cormed. Some of the people glowed with an ominous red aura.

"That's far less people than I expected. Seems like the Organisation is giving up on their manhunt." Tabby remarked.

"I mean, you did incinerate thirty of their men during the festival," Lee said dryly. "Hairless is not stupid, he knows a severe warning when he gets one."

"Have any of these newbies done anything incriminating yet?" Tabby asked. Frowning as he heard an annoying buzz, he promptly shot an energy bolt and incinerated the mosquito.

"Nope. Asides from mingling about and asking questions, they are quite well-behaved." Lee replied.

"I miss the days when bad guys were just outright evil." Tabby sighed. "Nowadays every capable villain is so annoyingly polite, only the low-level gangsters are rude."

"Politeness is not synonymous with goodness, but hierarchy." Lee gently tapped the lake as he spoke. The ripples of arcane energy gently scattered the pictures on the surface, turning the lake back to its customary blue.

"The higher one climbs the ranks, the more normal it is to desire order, or the semblance of order, within one's circle of influence. Politeness and promoting good behaviour are the easiest ways to impose order even in a evil organisation." Lee took a sip of his drink before continuing. "It's also more efficient and safe to communicate politely rather than in a room where everyone is a trained killer."

"Interesting. So do you mean that the more dangerous and powerful an organisation is, the more polite its members generally are?"

"Yeap. They are not polite for goodness' sake, but use manners for intimidation and instilling order. Things are similar from where I come from. Large criminal gangs are all very hierarchal and well-mannered, violence is a tool that is wielded efficiently and in a controlled manner."

"That's why the Organisation is so unique," Lee continued. "Their previous boss, which I happily removed, was a cruel despot who only knew how to provoke everyone and burn everything, figuratively and literally. Hairless on the other hand is much more clever. I am not sure what exactly is he planning, but he is extremely cunning even by my standards. He knows exactly where the edge is and dances very close to it, but backs off quickly when the things start escalating. There are absolutely no traitors in his inner circle and almost everyone is extremely committed to his cause, which is something unusually remarkable for an organisation of his type and size."

"If I didn't know you well enough, I might have thought you were praising him." Tabby cocked an eyebrow.

"I am praising him. He is one of the very few people I always keep an eye on, and to his credit he has not been making it easy for me." Lee remarked. "By the way, can you check if Rosie has finished playing?"

Tabby lazily drew a summoning circle on the ground. An armadillo with golden scales appeared and rolled away into leafy foliage after bobbing its head towards both Lee and Tabby.

"Who will win between you and Faceless then?" Tabby asked.

"Hmm..." Lee pondered. "Defeating Faceless in a straight-up battle is easy. It's the aftereffects that I'm worried about."

"Such as...?" Tabby queried. The armadillo returned and squeaked something towards Tabby then promptly rolled away again. "She's coming back now, by the way."

Lee stood up from his camping chair and pulled out a foldable plastic table from his dimensional storage. He gestured for Tabby to help him set up the table.

"For one, it's dangerous to attack the head of any evil organisation without knowing if he has any backup plans. I learnt the hard way from the collapse of Krakov." Lee winced as he reminisced.

"What happened?" Tabby asked as he arranged some chairs.

"To cut a long story short, I was hunting an undead alchemist in the city. I successfully captured him, but was too late to stop the chemical bomb he set to explode if his heart was stabbed." The two of them silently setup a barbecue rack over a nearby bonfire as Tabby was digesting the information.

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"So you are partly responsible for the overnight zombification of a city?" Tabby quietly asked.

"Unfortunately, yes. That was back when I naively believed that villains will monologue or plead for mercy before they die. That stupid mistake taught me that some people don't care and just want to watch everything die." Lee sighed.

"That's why although I can kill Faceless, I need to make sure that whatever post-humous plans he have won't happen. Even from an economical and societal perspective, him staying in alive and in power is very much better than him being dead. At least he is rational enough for us to have a civil discussion if we ever meet."

"Ugh, he really seems like a thorn in the flesh." Tabby grunted.

"Ah well, not the first thorn in my flesh, but a new breed nonetheless. I am, for better or worse, retired. The Old Powers no longer hold that much reverence nowadays. I can still call in a few favours, but most of them prefer being alone or just spend most of their time sleeping."

"Which makes what we are doing now much more difficult." Tabby said as he skewered meats and sausages onto the barbecue prongs. "After all, our problem is not one which money or political power can easily solve."

They paused their conversation when they saw Rosie sauntering with some wild fruits and vegetables. Sparky was trailing behind her and was trying to nip the terrified armadillo.

"Thanks Rosie." Lee smiled. Rosie grinned and put the fruits of her labour on the table. She walked over to Lee and tugged his cloak. After getting some head pats as a reward, Rosie ran towards the lake to wash the dirt off her hands.

"Did you teach her how to forage?" Tabby asked Lee.

"I tried, but she already seems to know which plants are edible without me telling her. I tried asking her where she learned that from, but she just said it was based on her 'feelings', whatever that is." Lee replied.

"I'm not complaining as long as her feelings prove to be edible." After selecting several vegetables, Tabby kept the rest in his and assigned Sparky to rinse the remaining vegetables in the lake.

"I nearly forgot, but did you read the message Schroon gave you?" Tabby asked.

"Nope." Lee replied as he busily took out some cooking utensils and seasonings.

"Why not?" Tabby asked in surprise. "It seemed pretty important."

"It is. It's just not the time yet." Lee patted Rosie's head again as she returned with Sparky. He passed some of the washed vegetables to Tabby for skewering and proceed to chop the rest.

"When you have lived as long as I have, you get a sense of when you should do certain things. There's no point rushing." Lee threw the chopped vegetables into a heated skillet and proceeded to stir fry them. The fragrant aroma of the sizzling vegetables coupled with the iron tang from the skillet permeated their noses.

"Is that why we are taking the long way through this dark, damp, and dangerous jungle as opposed to travelling directly towards the Basahra Plains?" Tabby was removing the charred meats and sausages onto a wooden serving board.

"Exactly. But you will be glad to know we will be reaching our first destination tomorrow." Lee also just finished cooking and was scooping the vegetables on everyone's plates.

"How overjoyed am I to hear this news after travelling for just a few short weeks." Tabby flatly replied.

* * *

All that remained of their dinner thirty minutes later were a few leaves and greasy bones. Rosie, Sparky, and Tabby were eating some of the fruits Rosie found earlier. Lee also wanted to try one of the fruits which resembled like a durian, but was quickly vetoed by Tabby and Sparky who both hissed in alarm.

Seeing that everyone was tired, Lee kept the dirty dishes and utensils in his dimensional storage for cleaning later. After casting some cleansing spells on the asleep Rosie and Sparky, he carried them both into a portal he created.

After tinkering with the shrinking orb during their travels, Lee had successfully modified the inside of the orb to be pleasantly liveable. The portal led to his wooden cabin surrounded his verdant garden filled with blooming flowers and various fruit trees. He somehow managed to pack more mountains and clouds, making the space seem infinitely vast.

Lee entered the log cabin and gently laid Rosie in a hammock. Sparky briefly awoke and slithered down to join Rosie, curling up at the end of her feet. After patting Rosie's head, he left the room silently, careful not to wake its sleeping inhabitants.

Lee rejoined Tabby outside who was busy preparing some hot chocolate. The two of them silently sipped on the chocolate, enjoying the rustling sounds in the jungle, the cool breeze on their faces, and the glorious starry sky above their heads.

"You don't dare to see Schroon's message, am I right?" Tabby broke the stillness.

Lee sipped his bitter chocolate silently.

"It's okay. I am not forcing you to answer." Tabby patted Lee's hand.

"That aside, I'm sure that you can sense we have some strangers in our midst." Tabby nonchalantly said as he gulped down the rest of his drink.

"Please show yourself if you are from Drumagah, we mean no harm," Lee requested. They didn't hear any other sounds except for the odd noises in the jungle.

"We know you have been tracking us five days ago. You should also be already aware that you can't stop us anyway if we want to burn this place down," Lee continued nonchalantly.

The entire jungle became eerily silent. A few seconds later, a muscular brown elf with a slender shimmering bow stepped out from the jungle.

"I greet the Guardian, and his companion," the elf bowed towards Lee and Tabby. "I apologise for our intrusiveness, but one needs to be careful when dealing with legendary beings."

"It's alright, no harm done. What?" Lee glanced towards Tabby who was rolling his eyes.

"His manners are exactly like Faceless," Tabby retorted. "Tell me he isn't from an evil organisation."

"I certainly hope so, otherwise he will be in for a nasty surprise." Lee nodded towards the elf who remained stoically silent.

"In the meantime, may I suggest we continue this conversation in the morning? You can guide us to Drumagah while we talk." Lee tossed the remaining furniture and mugs into his storage.

The elf nodded and melted back into the shadows. As Lee and Tabby walked back towards their ride, they realised that the jungle was creepily silent.