Kevin Henderson was just another ordinary guy, an 18-year-old IT technician who spent more time dealing with other people’s computer issues than solving his own after being sold into the tech industry by his overenthusiastic parents. His life was a repetitive cycle of illegal but somehow loopholed underpaid overtime, microwaved dinners, and the occasional daily late-night anime binge.
One evening, after yet another exhausting day, Kevin slumped into his creaky desk chair and booted up his computer. A pop-up ad, one of those flashy, irritating things that everyone knows to avoid, suddenly appeared on his screen. It promised a "life-changing experience." Without thinking, or perhaps too tired to care, Kevin clicked on it.
Big mistake.
The world around him warped, twisted, and then shattered into a million fragments. He felt a sensation not unlike being sucked through a straw, and then... darkness.
When Kevin opened his eyes, he was no longer in his dingy apartment. He found himself lying in a lush, green meadow, with a sky so blue it looked like it had been photoshopped. Tall mountains loomed in the distance, and a gentle breeze rustled through the trees as the generic castle and town below sat quietly as if awaiting his arrival. It was the kind of picturesque landscape you'd expect to see on a motivational poster with the word 'Serenity' plastered across it.
He sat up, rubbing his head. “What the hell just happened?” he yelled, only to notice something odd. His voice sounded... different. Deeper, more heroic. And his body felt... different too. Stronger. Toned.
Looking down, Kevin was shocked to see that he was no longer wearing his worn-out jeans and an old company T-shirt. Instead, he was dressed in a ridiculous get-up straight out of a fantasy RPG: a gleaming suit of armor, perfectly fitted to his now chiseled frame, and a cape that billowed dramatically in the wind, because, of course it did.
“Well, this is just great,” Kevin said to no one in particular. “I’ve become a cliché.”
Before he could fully process the absurdity of his situation, a shimmering, golden text box appeared in front of him, floating in mid-air:
"Welcome, Kevinus, Chosen Hero of the Twelve Realms!"
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Kevin stared at the text box, his mind struggling to catch up. “Kevinus? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with?”
But the universe, it seemed, wasn’t interested in his complaints. With a soft chime, the text box vanished, and in its place, a stunningly beautiful woman appeared from the town gate, dashing toward him yet somehow looking like she was gracefully gliding along the grassy plains. She was tall, with long, flowing blonde hair that sparkled as if it had been dusted with glitter. Her eyes were an impossible shade of blue, and her skin was flawless, practically glowing.
And then there was her dress. Or rather, the lack thereof. The white gown she wore was elegant, sure, but it exposed far more of her bust than was remotely practical, especially for a princess, because of course she is going to be a princess, that's just obvious. The plunging neckline seemed less designed for comfort or even royal fashion and more for, well, fanservice.
“Greetings, Hero!” she exclaimed, her voice melodious and sweet, like a well-known production studio's princess after one too many energy drinks. “I am Princess Expositia, first of my name, daughter of King Plotdevice, and I am to be your first companion on this noble quest!”
Of course she is, the narrator thought dryly. Because every fantasy world needs a princess whose primary function is to serve as eye candy and deliver exposition. And naturally, her dress is more about attracting a certain audience than anything resembling practicality.
Kevinus, yes, we’re calling him that now, because the fantasy world demands it, blinked at her, utterly lost. “Uh, Princess Expositia? That’s your name?”
“Yes, Hero!” she responded enthusiastically, clearly not picking up on his skepticism. “You have been summoned to our world to fulfill the ancient prophecy. You are destined to save the Twelve Realms from the Ancient Evil that threatens to consume us all!”
Kevinus rubbed his temples, trying to stave off the impending headache. “Ancient Evil, huh? Let me guess, I have to gather a bunch of magical artifacts, defeat a series of increasingly difficult enemies, and... oh, I don’t know, maybe build a harem along the way?” Each with their own tragic backstories no doubt, but Kevinus was too polite to mention that part.
Princess Expositia’s eyes sparkled even brighter, if that were possible. “Yes, exactly! How did you know?”
Because this is the most predictable plotline ever conceived, the narrator sighed. You can practically see the checklist in the sky: Prophecy? Check. Harem? Check. Underqualified, overwhelmed protagonist? Check, check, check.
Princess Expositia stepped closer, placing a delicate hand on his armored chest, because personal space is never a concern for a to-be Harem King. “But fear not, Hero. I shall be by your side through it all, guiding you and... supporting you.” She smiled, and it was the kind of smile that could launch a thousand ships, or at least a thousand fan theories.
Kevinus took a step back, trying to maintain some semblance of personal space while getting all too red in the face.
The prophecy had been set in motion, and whether Kevinus liked it or not, he was now the reluctant star of the most over-the-top, trope-filled adventure ever written.
Welcome to the Land of Generic, Hero, the narrator snickered. You’re going to be here a while.