I groaned, and my eyes fluttered open, my vision blurry. I tried to rub at them, and an electrical charge coursed through my body, setting all my nerves aflame when I lifted my wrists. My eyes cleared up quickly after that, and I noticed my jacket had been taken. That was my favorite jacket. Those jackasses are why I can never have nice things. I then began looking around the room.
I sat in a small interrogation room, eight feet long by eight feet wide by seven feet tall, with two MKVI (mark six) Valkyrie turrets with auto-tracking behind me, and I had been handcuffed to an aluminum table with electroshock cuffs and two chairs in the room. The walls had been made perfectly smooth and had no visible door to get in or out through. I leaned forward to examine the cuffs and heard the turrets move the slightest inch behind me. I relaxed and began to think of a way out of this situation, wondering what the situation is and how to get out of it.
I began by fiddling with the electro cuffs, doing my best not to touch the sides. Finding a small panel on the cuffs, I used my fingernails to pry the panel off, revealing several clusters of wires I couldn’t see due to the turret’s touchiness. Luckily, I have gotten out of these kinds of cuffs before. It was a long stormy night, and I was lonely with a young, beautiful, wealthy daughter of some important person I couldn’t be fucked to remember. Ah, her screams of pleasure were music to my ears. Although they could have been screams of pain and terror. I mean, she was hooked up to a plasma battery.
Anyways, after getting into the panel, I identified the cuffs as MKII Valkyrie suppression cuffs. They ran off an electrical circuit that grows in power using magnets, copper, and silver. They also double as an excellent EMP grenade, which all Valkyrie equipment is susceptible to due to the need to keep things cheap.
I smiled as I found the wires to pull and make the cuffs into a localized EMP. Then, the far wall shimmered and clicked as a swarm of nanites moved aside to reveal an airlock door. The door slid open, and a federation general walked through. I took the time to remember this man’s face as fast as possible. He wore a brown-green formal military uniform with a wide array of medals and awards and stood about six feet tall. He had an old wrinkled face and no hair atop his head. He gazed at me with brown, cold, and lifeless eyes as he turned to look into my beautiful yellow and blue eyes.
The general threw a brown file on the table and asked, “Do you know why you’re here?”
“My good looks. Either that or my amazing personality,” I said with a smile and cupped my breasts teasingly.
The general didn’t laugh as he sat opposite me, “You are here because of the hundreds of thousands of deaths you’ve caused, and by all rights, we should’ve killed you when we picked you up. Do you know why we didn’t?”
“You couldn’t waste a nice piece of ass like mine,” I said sarcastically, “Sorry to tell you this, general, but I don’t swing that way.” Then I reached forward and opened the file the general threw on the table. It was a file on me, and I couldn’t help but read what little information they had on me.
Name: Violet V. Vermillion
Age: Unknown
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 150 lbs
Hair color: blond
Eye color: (heterochromia) yellow/blue
Crimes: Murder in the first degree. Theft of private and government property. Illegal experimentation on human beings. Torture. J-walking. Sexual assault. Kidnapping. The list went on like this for a while, so I skipped to the good part. Three pages back.
Body count: 813,199
Oh, wow. They finally connected me to that one colony that doesn’t exist anymore. That was a fun day. Full of pretty flames and screams.
As I read, the general took a deep breath and said, “We saved you because we have a job for you.” I ignored him for a moment as I continued reading.
Once I read my body count, I dropped the file, moved the necessary wires, and caused an EMP pulse to travel through the room. The nanites and turrets shut down. I lunged forward and grabbed the general by his collar, pulling him over the table and throwing him against the wall behind me. “You didn’t save me! You captured me! Now you’re offering me a job! I should kill you here and now!” I said, grabbing the general by the neck and pinning him against the wall, then asked, “but I’m not going to because I’m curious about why you want me to do a job. So, what is this job of yours?”
“It’s from…the order,” the general said through a crushed windpipe.
I released enough pressure on his neck for him to speak and said, “Continue.”
“The order wants you to-”
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
“Hold on, which order is this?”
“Uh, the order.”
“That doesn’t help. I know like six ‘the orders.’ You’ll need to narrow it down.”
“Uhmmm, the central order, the one on Earth.”
“Oh, that one. Bunch of pretentious pricks, aren’t they? Anyways, as you were saying.”
The general rolled his eyes and said, “The order wants you to-”
“Which order again?”
“The central order wants you to start a war!”
I froze and released the general, who fell to the ground coughing, “They want me to do what?”
“They want a war. The federation made its first contact with an alliance of highly advanced aliens. And they want the federation to go to war with the aliens to claim power.”
A smile grew on my lips. “I get to start a war?” I asked, barely containing my excitement.
“Yes, you get to start a war.”
I jumped up and down excitedly, like a little child on Christmas. Then I took a few calming breaths and said, “I need my weapons and Yang, the woman I had been captured with, and my ship.”
The general sighed and said, “Turn right to go to the impound room. The girl, Yang, is in the next interrogation room on the right.”
“Good,” I said, extending a hand to help him stand. The general accepted it, and I pulled him up and dashed behind him, placing him in a headlock. “I don’t need you anymore,” I whispered in his ear as I yanked his head to the left, creating a satisfying crack.
The general’s body fell to the ground, and I searched it, finding a key card for the airlock doors and everything else on the ship or station I was on. I pocketed the key card and approached the door after taking the electro cuffs. The door opened upon approach and revealed a hallway with eight guards outside. “Hello, boys. Let’s have some fun,” I said, then got to work dispatching them.
***
I opened the interrogation room next door and saw Yang cowering in a corner. “Hey, Yang! What’s up!?” I exclaimed happily, blood dripping from my hands.
Yang’s head snapped up and looked directly at me, “What’s up!?! I died! Again!”
“Ha, yeah. Always knew you were a bit catty. Two lives down, seven to go.”
Yang stared at me in disbelief, “Why are you so happy!? This isn’t funny!”
“True, true,” I agreed, looking serious, then dropped the façade and said, “it’s fucking hilarious! Sorry. Not really. Just very excited right now. Here take this gun.” I tossed Yang a handgun I picked from one of the fresh corpses a moment ago.
Yang recoiled from it and didn’t pick up the weapon, “What are we doing?”
A demented smile spread across my face as I answered, “We are going to accidental a war!”
“A war?! What? I don’t want to accidental a war!”
I turned around and left, leaving the door open. Stepping over the corpses, and walked down the corridor, saying, “Three…two…one.”
“Wait, Violet! Don’t leave me!” Yang said, running down the corridor after me.
“Then you better keep up,” I said, turning a corner and entering a room with two guards playing cards. One jumped and reached for his sidearm, but I got to him first, taking the gun from the man’s hand, throwing it at the other guard, and knocking him over. I dislocated the first guard’s wrist, shoulder, and elbow as I smashed his head against the table, knocking him out.
The second guard got up, gun in hand and blood pouring down his face. I grabbed the gun, twisted, and pulled it, wrenching it from his hands and making him stumble forward. Casually I stepped aside and stuck out a foot, causing him to trip and fall face-first into the steel floor. I fired two shots into his head, the plasma bolts tearing through his skull. I did the same with the first guard, then looked back to the doorway seeing Yang standing there without the pistol.
“Where’s the pistol I gave you?” I asked.
“I don’t want to kill anyone. I left it behind.”
“You know people will try and kill you, right?”
“Yes, but that’s why I have you. My personal meat shield.”
I raised a finger to protest, then stopped and considered what Yang said. “Huh, that’s oddly very logical. Until I die being a meat shield, then you’re screwed, but until then, good plan,” I said, then turned to examine the lockers in the room. Tossing the pistol aside, I opened them one at a time until I found what I had been looking for in the lockers.
I pulled out my electro-kyukestu, running my hand along the wire, then up to the blade, gently kissing the tip, and whispered to it, “I’ve missed you. You beautiful blade,” then I remembered Yang still in the room and looked over my shoulder. Yang looked a little confused and disgusted. I turned away, blushing a little, and put on a pair of black gloves needed to operate the weapon. Then turned around and said defensively, “Don’t judge me. I was lonely and out of gas on the ship,” and walked out of the room. Ignoring the smile playing across Yang’s lips.
Turning the corner, I saw a group of guards approaching the room. Grabbing the handle of the kyoketsu and the base of the blade. The black wire lit up and shone with blue energy revealing my position to the guards. Unlike the guards outside the interrogation room, they didn’t wear body armor, so this became much easier.
I threw the blade at the first guard, missing by a fingers breadth, then I pulled on the electrified wire, retrieved the blade, and ran forward, wielding the weapon like a whip. As the weapon crackled and snapped, the guards ducked for cover in the small corridor. Then the sound stopped, and the weapon went cold.
One of the guards peered out from behind a metal beam and saw me looking very disappointed. I sighed and said, “Not enough room here to wield this.” Then I turned and went back into the guard’s room, “Hold on just one second.”
The guards didn’t give me that second and immediately pulled their sidearms and fired. As I disappeared into the room, the bolts missed me by a finger’s breadth. The guards moved forward to investigate, and one called it in, “D-deck to the bridge. The prisoner is escaping! I repeat, the prisoner is escaping! Go to lockdown!”
I ignored them as I heard the commlink send back nothing but static, and nothing happened. I quickly picked through the locker with my stuff, retrieving a few of my weapons, including my snubbed pistol, before returning to the door and picking up the two guns that belonged to the corpses. I peered around the corner at the four guards, who looked at each other, confused. I came out and said, “It’s incredible what an EM field made out of handcuffs can do to our comms,” leveling the pair of pistols at the guards and firing, killing them quickly and efficiently.
Yang poked her head out the door and asked, “Is it over?”
“Yes, now we go to the bridge. And have our way with the men up there.”
“That sounds so wrong, but I know what you mean.”
“We’re going to rape them to death!”
“And it just gets worse.”
“With a gun!!”
“Please, stop.”
“No,” I said, returning to the guard’s room to gather the rest of my weapons. If I’m taking this ship, I will have fun doing it.
***