Something fascinating happened. The big guy helped me out with my magic control, which highly depended on concentration, after which I managed to more easily manipulate the earth. I could now create a stone spike that reached above my hips, in one go. I also could mold the earth into abstract shapes. Meanwhile, the big guy monitored my soul so I wouldn't overuse it and pass out, or die. In theory, you only have so much soul to push out of your body and affect the world, because when there's no soul inside you, well... Depleting your soul to a small amount can already threaten your life, which is difficult enough as simply overusing magic could easily make you pass out. The funny thing is; I didn't run out at all. As I ran empty, I filled up again.
As a drawback, I seemed to experience some sort of electric charge whenever I used magic. It was unclear why, and it unsettled me a lot that there was random soul appearing in my body. The big guy was fascinated, but didn't seem too surprised, saying something like 'You were always blessed in some manner or another.' The big guy was also content with my progress; in a way, I could even say I was having an alright time.
That went for all of us, it seemed. Although the first day was hectic and even a bit frightening, as a new day began, everybody had a certain purpose. One by one, the little rats woke up and continued to work on their projects and got to know each other. Though some rats with white spots around their eyes slept a while longer than the rest of us. All that obviously wasn't for me as I was blessed to spend time with King, but whatever.
At least I could do magic.
The magic itself was a lot harder to pull off than expected. In the beginning, it felt like I just needed to have the power and then I could do whatever, but there was a mental aspect that made it impossible to do if your mind shifted but a second. Keeping my soul stable, envisioning the magic, channeling the magic in the right way to influence the earth, and then I'm not even talking yet about how you needed to push your soul out of your body to use it.
This put a lot of strain on me, and when my concentration broke, I felt static in my brain. This hurt. Two times this happened, and both times I needed a solid moment. I promise it is not fun. The amount of time I needed to rest increased if I lost focus while using more soul. When I heard I had magical powers, it seemed amazing, but I could only be helpful as King's secretary like this. Maybe moving his diner using the power of the earth. I might just as well carry it then! Why would anyone give me such a blessing if I couldn't even really use it? The big guy laughed when I explained my struggle, saying it wouldn't always take this much concentration, though he admitted the pain was extraordinary. He also explained that even emotions could cause magic and even normal people would be able to tap into the power of their souls every now and then under certain circumstances, whatever that means. Even they would rarely experience such pain, though they might pass out.
After several hours of exercising my magic muscle, which, as you might remember, doesn't get tired, my master decided that I endured enough mental strain for the day and sent me away so he could think. Nonchalantly, I broke through the veil of darkness around us and left his space. The room was something I requested, as getting my brain fried made it very hard to focus. All in all, the day left me agitated, and I was happy to have nothing to do but food to consume.
I walked towards my neatly strung-up lunch package, ripped off the part of the arm below the elbow, and drank a bit from the maternal fountain. It was more food than I could finish by myself, but that was alright. I wasn't eating alone. I walked towards the workspace where all the little rats were busy sewing their makeshift clothes. Bart noticed me and headed my direction. I walked straight past him. Sorry bud, I had a prior engagement. While walking, I looked around the room for Brynn, just out of curiosity. It didn't take too long to spot her. She tried to sew, assisted by a happy-looking rat, but failed spectacularly. Her face filled with rage, burning with fury. When she noticed me, she stared like, "What the fuck do you want?" My best impression of Brynn... Luckily, I didn't have any business with her either.
Finally, I reached the small, black rat girl that waited for me.
"Hey Tess, let's eat," I said and held up the lizard leg. "As promised."
"Yes, let's. Sorry to twist your... paw?" Tess said, uncertainly, with a crooked grin.
"Do you have the goods, though?" I asked, equally uncertain.
"Yes! Of course! Here you go!" The girl awkwardly pulled out my pants and vest from behind her, which I eagerly put on. As I did, the awkward feeling faded on my part. Earlier that day, I'd asked the little seamstress to fix my clothes so they would fit better. The pants, which were supposed to be lizard shorts, had hung over my feet, and the vest had kept slipping from my shoulders. She agreed to do the alterations, but only if I shared a meal with her.
So that's how I got myself in this particular situation. Was this a date? I sure hoped not. To be honest, I still wasn't quite over not being human. I felt I still was a real man, though here I was, sitting with a rat person, eating a giant lizard appendage like it was normal. That had to change. I thought of leaning against one of the walls, but that felt too much like settling down, and I wasn't planning to stay longer than necessary. Uncomfortably, I snapped the arm in half. The girl eagerly accepted the bloody piece without visible remorse. We dug in, and she made happy, ecstatic noises as she swallowed.
"It's not that good," I stated, dryly chewing the scaly meat. The girl startled and turned her face to me. I could almost see her blushing through her fur.
"Sorry?" She asked.
"I said it's not all that good, the food."
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I pointed to the lump of meat she was holding between her hands. She followed my finger with her gaze and made an oww-face.
"No, it's not that- I mean I don't dislike it, it's just- You know? Compared to mother… Just give me a minute." She said as she frowned, held her head in one hand, and used the other to gesture me to wait. She faced me then. "It's nice to… eat something that's not a blood relative."
Well, who was I to argue about that. A silence fell, broken by Tess. "But, uhm, how are you experiencing all this, you know, birth?"
It was an obviously desperate attempt at small talk. The girl her depth, uncomfortable. She was trying too hard, but somehow the question hit me. No one had asked me that. Between Bart, Brynn, and the big guy, we all just acknowledged that we had to deal with it. This situation was just life. Maybe because I knew them before. Wait, did I know Bart before? I definitely knew King and Brynn, I thought. Wait, did I? Well, before I thought too much about it, the words already left my mouth.
"It sucks."
Tess looked quite baffled.
"Sucks?"
"So much, after waking up I've been stuck with the two weirdest people, who make me do the shittiest things. First, there's our 'king,' sending me crawling through a giant rat corpse just to spite Brynn, I think, who, by the way, seems to have agitation as her base emotion. Next thing I'm in a giant labyrinth, which I'm pretty certain is death personified and is also filled with giant spiders." By this point, I was shouting and wildly shaking the bloody lizard arm. I took a deep breath. "Then, when I finally got back, I learned that I can do magic, but turns out that just means sitting still for hours hoping I don't lose concentration. Have you ever tried that? It's impossible! And then there's Bart! Bart, who actually... has been great. He's been good." My rant left me wheezing. "I might be a bit frustrated with our situation."
Tess stared at me, seemingly at a loss for words.
"You met death... giant spiders... and killed a man? And you're... frustrated?" Frustrated. She spat the word out with an incomprehensible sense of confusion, maybe a hint of disgust, but I nodded. Her face tensed up in a twisted way. And before I knew it, her arms were around my neck. It gave me a start, not that it hurt. Actually, it felt kind of nice, soft. "It sounds so scary what you've been through. I've only been here, relying on labor to keep me from thinking about how frightening this place is and everything that's happening. I just want to hide away and search for shelter, that this room does not provide. It scares me to think this King person may think I'm too useless to keep around and you're... frustrated?"
Her body shook as tears soaked the fur on my shoulder. Her body pressed against me felt warm and my throat tensed up as my eyes started stinging. This feeling was similar to when we faced the large bull monster, but the similarities between these situations eluded me.
"Why would King not keep you around?" I asked, and she let go of me. She took some distance so she could see my face, confusion painted on hers. I stared back, confused about what had happened. She had hugged me, but now seemed different.
"Why do you sound like you don't know?" She squinted her eyes at me, seeming to try and comprehend why these words chose to leave my mouth at this moment. As if it were inconceiveable for me to ask. It was making me feel dumb, like she was making fun of me.
"I sound like I don't know, because I don't know." I snapped, and the girl recoiled. Her mouth hung slightly open as her eyes darted from left to right. She seemed to be thinking about what to say, mouthing words without sound. Eventually she pressed her lips together tightly and spoke, a sad anger seeping from her words.
"That's messed up, Anite."
"Well you're not helping."
"Not helping? It's about Tommy, you oaf."
"The fuck's a Tommy?!" My cheek stung as her little claw slapped into it. She looked furious, but her face softened into regret within heartbeats. She pulled her hand back and cradled it as she turned her face away.
"Tommy is one of your brothers." She said, her voice rueful. "He's a really sweet boy, but he can't speak. He can't really do much, except run about, giggling. Ever since we woke up, it didn't seem like he understood the situation we're in and we've been taking care of him since. When Brynn got attacked, he could only wail. When King handed out blessings, Tommy didn't know to reach for the shadows. Yesterday, when you were gone, King searched him out. He asked us to bring 'the mute rat', and when we did, he spoke on his dissapointment. This one is no use to us, he said, and the next moment Tommy started sinking into the ground until he was gone. He dropped into the shadows below, falling away, gone. He killed Tommy, and then he excused us, as an afterthought. Permitting us to leave."
Tess pulled away and stared at me with black eyes, waiting for some sort of answer. It didn't come, and she awkwardly sat down to take the dismembered arm into her lap. She shook as she slowly lifted it and took a discouraged bite. I couldn't answer her. What she experienced sounded so foreign that I couldn't comprehend her. And then that gesture... I couldn't answer, so silence covered us, and I wondered how Bart and Brynn felt. I even wondered about the big guy. How did they experience all this? Was Bart insecure like Tess? Was Brynn annoyed by me? Did King and I really help them? Maybe King could explain why my eyes felt like this.
In this situation, what would be the knightly thing to do?
Besides me, Tess sobbed while chewing. Softly, she spoke as if her throat had been squeezed.
"I'm sorry. It's not your fault."
Her voice woke me up, and I reached a conclusion. If King was going to hide away all day, then I would try to help these people, a bit.
I stood up.
"No, you don't, and I can help."
Tess looked confused but got up to follow me as I walked towards a big, empty space near another wall. I left a few, I could only assume, meters between me and the rocky surface, raising my arms.
"What are you doing?"
"Making you shelter." I replied with a strained voice. "Please, let me concentrate."
I wasn't sure if this would work, at all, but there wasn't anyone else that could do it. I reached into my soul, dragged it out to push it into the ground. I raised my arms once more, just slightly, pulling at the hard stone canvas, creating a hollow space, a small burrow that would fit just a bit more than a ratman. I wished I could make it bigger.
My mind hurt just from that much, like I bit an electric eel, but I had to do it again. I held on to my focus for dear life and redirected the energy to the right.
There was now a small crowd forming around me as the others noticed something was up. I barely noticed. I could see two blurry burrows. Someone touched my shoulder, only to be zapped away by the static energy running through my body.
I made a third burrow. The electricity tensed my muscles, but I continued.
Four burrows.
As tried for a fifth, something snapped. A shriek tore my voice to shreds.
"AAaAaRRRGgGH!!"
The ground crashed into me. My hands found my head as my body heavily convulsed. My sharp nails scratched into the bare skin on my snout. It was too much. Everything burned with a numbing pain, like I was coming apart. The floor faded to black, making space for blurred white stains of light. It was too much. From within me, searing needles pierced my eyes. This I knew. My ears rung, overwhelming all sound. But I know I screamed until I passed out.