Aurora allowed Orion to comfort her for a bit and when she’d finally calmed down and they’d made it to the empty dining room, the princess found herself asking, “My mother… what happened to her?”

Orion put his fork down and sighed, visibly considering the question, “Like I said, she… just kind of lost it. The… pressure and loss was too much for her,” Aurora studied her plate, “She’s rarely seen smiling, and sometimes her… cold personality changes into sadistic or-” the princess tried to be patient as he paused again to think of the right word, “heartless. Like she’s lost her soul. I’d like to say those occurrences are rare, but they’ve become disconcertingly common,” he brushed his fingers lightly over Aurora’s arm, “I caution you now that you may see a side of her that you’d never want to see.”

I already have…

Aurora nodded silently, trying her best to finish as much food as she could. Her stomach was in knots, though, and she gave up with plenty of food still left on her plate.

Orion broke the silence again, “I…” he fiddled with his fork, “I thought about speaking up against her many times, but I didn’t know how to do it,” Aurora listened silently, “She is just so… unpredictable. She might kill me and- I couldn’t bear to leave our son,” he glanced at the princess and she saw a guilty look in his eyes, “I knew he needed a conscious parent and I-” his voice broke and Aurora found herself wanting to comfort him again.

“I understand. You did what you could, Orion,” she reassured as if she did understand, but Aurora puzzled over why he felt such guilt. There was no way he could do anything to oppose such a powerful queen, “I don’t think any could’ve done it better than you have.”

“I should’ve been better…” he took in a shuddering breath, shaking his head “Ror, the things your mother has done to this country… I don’t think you fully-” but he shut his mouth as a servant came into the room and asked them if they were done with their plates.

The princess smiled at the girl and nodded, but her smile faded slightly when Orion stood, signaling the end of their meal.

“Are you sure you ate enough?” Aurora asked as she followed him out of the room.

Her husband looked down at her for a moment, as if in a daze, before he shook his head and smiled, looking away, “Yes, Ror. Thank you for thinking of me.”

Aurora wondered why his ears were slightly pink, but shook the observation away as she thought about asking him what he’d been suggesting in the dining hall. Why did he feel so guilty about her mother’s actions? What had her mother done? It seemed like she didn’t know the whole story. Everyone in the castle seemed to have adapted to the cold environment, but she wondered how far the cold had spread. Was everything as fine as her mother made it seem? Was it as atrocious as Orion hinted to her? Aurora wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know.

She puzzled over if it had truly been only a day since she’d woken up next to a man she didn’t know. Now, he seemed like the only one she could trust.

She tried to remind herself that this was all a dream, but it wasn’t as easy to fool her mind as it had been earlier in the day.

Reality wasn’t so benevolent.

Orion led the princess back to their room and left her to take care of some ‘business’.

Aurora stood in the doorway, thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Her mind drifted and she found her feet leading her to a floor-length mirror on the wall.

Had it really been 10 years?

As she studied her face in the mirror, she realized she didn’t even know the person looking back at her. The girl- no, the woman who she saw reflected had less innocence. It wasn’t anything in her slim face or curvy body. It was her eyes. She wondered how different they had been when she wasn’t herself. Was she herself now? How could she even tell?

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The long, wool dress she wore looked much more flattering on her than any other dress she remembered. Her younger self would’ve been thrilled.

She didn’t feel blessed, though. Despite seeming like it’d only been a day since she was 16, such trivial things no longer mattered.

Was her mind somehow more mature? Did she learn things she hadn’t known before?

It certainly felt like it.

The princess tore her gaze from her reflection and slowly moved to sit in a big, puffy seat by the window. Aurora watched the snow drift to the ground. She briefly wondered what season it was. She wondered if it still mattered.

She knew her son had grown up without the affection of his mother, and yet, Aurora still felt like she loved him.

The princess finally had a moment to reflect on what she’d lost, but now that she was alone, the princess couldn’t bring herself to cry.

She wished she would cry.

Instead, she felt numb.

Who knew that some teenage angst could cause her to lose so much?

Aurora knew in her mind that she should regret her actions, but she was so overwhelmed that nothing actually seemed to matter at the moment.

So she just sat in the comfortable chair and watched the snowfall.

…

Orion knocked on the door before entering, and Aurora wondered if he always did that.

She continued to watch the snowfall as he slowly walked up beside her.

He stood for a moment silently.

Aurora felt his eyes on her.

He softly cleared his throat in an attempt to break the tension, “How are you feeling?”

Aurora didn’t know how to answer. She had no idea how she was feeling, “I-I don’t know,” she needed an ally and Orion had given her no reason to distrust him yet.

Her husband hesitated before his hand rested on her shoulder gently, “Do you… want to talk about it?”

The princess just shook her head, not even knowing where to begin.

Orion removed his hand slowly and was silent for a moment before he dared, “Do you… want a hug?”

Aurora finally turned to look at him. Something about the expression of care in his eyes and the nervousness in the way he fiddled with his shirt made her nod her head.

The princess shifted to the edge of the seat and allowed Orion to wrap his arms around her for the first time in her memory.

Then her vision began to blur and the princess finally let out the frustration, confusion, and sense of loss she’d been overwhelmed with the whole day. She didn’t even really care that a man she didn’t know was holding her because, for some reason, she trusted him to at least care.

Aurora clung to her husband’s shirt and sobbed as he tightened his grip around her slightly, remaining silent.

She thought about her son growing up without a mother. She thought about her mother’s soul being broken by an unresponsive daughter. She thought about Orion bearing guilt for caring about his son.

She mourned the loss that everyone had experienced because of her.

Then she let it out.

After a while of being held, Aurora’s hiccups began to subside and she leaned further against Orion, exhausted.

He didn’t let go.

When her mind and body had finally calmed down enough, the princess asked, “What was my subconscious like?”

Orion stayed silent for a moment, but Aurora noticed the way his breathing stalled, “You were very… distant. You rarely spoke first and only smiled when you needed to be polite. And even then, it never reached your eyes. You did what you were told and had the same answers to the same questions as if they were rehearsed,” he paused, his tone turning harsher, “I should’ve known that you were gone, but I told myself that there was no way you could travel so far,” he shook his head, tightening his grip again, “I didn’t want to feel the guilt, but I was selfish and stayed by your side and…” his voice broke, “Ror, I’m so sorry…”

The princess heard the guilt in his voice and she pulled away to look into Orion’s shame-filled eyes. Anger suddenly rose in her chest, “Don’t be stupid,” she watched surprise flicker across his face, “How could you have possibly known all this would happen? I ran into you. Did you purposefully give me your gift?” she watched as he shook his head in horror, “Did you hide some secret cure to your gift from me or anyone else?” again, he shook his head, “Then none of this could possibly be your fault. Only an idiot would take the blame for all this,” she glared at her hands, “And I trust that even my subconscious wouldn’t marry an idiot.”

Was she being childish? She didn’t really care, “What matters,” her tone softened as she turned her eyes back to her husband, “is that you stuck by my side for so many years. You stayed close even when I was unbearable and loved our son the way I couldn’t,” she blinked rapidly, trying to clear her vision, “Even if you only wanted the throne, I wouldn’t care. You did more for me than I’ll be able to repay,” her gaze fixed on the ground, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks, “What I mean to say is… thank you.”

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