“Morning, sweetheart,” a familiar voice cooed from above Iona, cozy in the comfort of her bed. The soft pad of someone’s thumb swept across her forehead, moving a lock of hair off her face. Iona’s eyes fluttered open to see her mother perched on the side of her bed. “Morning, Mom,” Iona smiled, “Breakfast?”
“Ah, I already popped down and grabbed some food. I figured you could use a little extra sleep. Whinny’s waiting for me at the gate, it’s about that time.” Asa had stuck around for a few days after the memorial dinner, for which Iona was so grateful. She had forgotten what it was like to lean on someone rather than clutch onto her own burdens alone. It was the calm before the storm that was about to hit- the final days of prepping for the ball.
Iona pushed herself up off the mattress and sat up, leaning her back against the headboard. Asa snuggled in next to her. “I’m gonna miss you, Mom. I think I’ve gotten incredibly spoiled having you around here,” Iona sighed.
“I’ll miss you, too, honey. But that just means you’re going to have to make more of an effort to get out to the cottage!” Asa chided lovingly. Iona tilted her head and threw on a guilty smile, knowing her mom was right. Asa cleared her throat as her expression shifted from playful to something more serious.
Oh no, please don’t let this be about Elia.
“I wanted to talk to you before I left about Elia.”
Damn it. “You know, Mom, that’s not really necessary, we’ve done so much talking the last few days,” Iona said, shaking her head and scooting toward the edge of the bed.
“Oh, no you don’t,” Asa responded, pulling her daughter back to her spot at her side. “I want you to hear this. Because I know that you’re still struggling a bit, and I’m your mom, and I finally have you here in front of me. I let you fight it out and run around the kingdom for thirty years, which obviously wasn’t enough.”
“Let me, huh? I don’t remember you having a say over us going to war or not, Mom,” Iona replied.
Asa dismissed the snark, and forged ahead, “I know what it can be like to get swallowed up by loss. After your father’s funeral, I stayed in bed for days. I didn’t leave the house for even longer. I let his beautiful gardens and the crops that he gave all his time and energy to get run over with weeds. Practically all of them died, too. It was just easier, in the moment, to wallow in my pain.”
Iona couldn’t help but apologize again, “I’m sorry, Mom, I should have reached out more and maybe-”
Asa shook her head before Iona could finish her thought, “No, Iona, honey. I’m telling you about all this to help you, not to make you feel guilty. That is not a weight you should carry on my behalf, I promise.” Iona nodded, sinking a little further into the bed. “Now, what I really needed to get myself out of my spiral was to use everything he taught me, not shove it all aside like I’d been doing. One morning, I just forced myself out of the house. I ripped out the weeds. I got seeds from the neighbors. It took a long time, but bringing your father’s hard work back to life, it brought him back to me, too. It brought me back. Now, all the gardening and the weeding and the harvesting that I used to complain about, it’s in that work that I keep him alive, and I honor his memory.”
Iona soaked in Asa’s story. She may have fought a war, she may have rebuilt towns and villages, she may seem fine to most. But handling the loss of Elia, the person she trusted the most to help her navigate these emotions, was something she was still very much figuring out. And her mom did that all herself.
Gods, she really is much tougher than I am, she thought.
“I know you think you could have saved Elia, but honey, thinking that way, staying stuck in that hurt after all this time, it just diminishes what she left behind,” Asa explained.
“What do you mean?”
“She knew you needed to stay here, in Chrysos. She trusted you to look after her family. And you did, and you still do. Elia’s death was a tragedy, an unavoidable one. If you’d been there, they would have killed you, too, with that black magic.” Asa took her daughter’s face in her hands, “But you’re here. And she left you with so much good to remember her by; it’s up to you to take that good and live it out. In the moments you miss her the most, just remember everything she taught you- be loving and vulnerable and patient. You don’t ever have to stop missing her, but let her memory bring you forward in life.”
“Like you and dad?” Iona asked, her voice wobbling a bit.
Asa nodded, her smile lighting her face, wrinkling her eyes. “It’s not always easy, and some days, I lose myself a bit missing him. But then I get back to the good stuff. You will, too.” Asa planted a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “I hope that helps.”
“It does,” Iona affirmed. “Thanks for staying the last few days, Mom.”
After one more hug, Asa hopped up to start gathering her things in her room. As she headed out the door, she commented, “Those flowers on your desk are beautiful, by the way.”
Iona glanced over at the moon drops, “Oh, yeah, Leo brought them by a few days ago.”
“Did he now?” Asa said, eyebrows raised. “That’s very kind of him.” Whatever she was getting at, Iona wasn’t playing along.
“Let’s walk you out, shall we?” she said, now hustling her mother towards the palace gates. They said their goodbyes, and Asa wished her luck with the ball. Iona watched as her mother galloped off on Whinny, and steeled herself to go back inside. Today was the day. It was time to find Heston a wife.
The palace was a perennially animated and populous place, but preparations for that evening had it filled to the brim. Staff whizzed by Iona carrying massive embroidered banners of all colors to hang in the grand ballroom, vibrant floral arrangements, trays of empty goblets awaiting their fill of wine, and more. She ducked and weaved through the cacophony of workmen, chefs, and servers to a small meeting room in the east wing. There, she laid out the final assignments for palace guards, walked through rotations with them, and confirmed that everything was in place and ready to go for the ball. Upon dismissing her guards, she returned to her bedroom to enjoy a little reprieve from the commotion.
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Iona pulled off her boots, and tossed them into the corner, followed by her pants and blouse. She perched on her bed, bare skin prickling a bit from the cold. She noted that she’d need a fire in the hearth to sleep tonight. Three months had come and gone since she received word from Theron to return home to Chrysos, and she was only a few hours away from seeing the culmination of her effort. Well, hers and Leo’s, and all the other staff working around the clock to make the ball happen. She’d been so unhappy with the charge from the King, angry at being forced to confront her old wounds. They exhausted her. They sapped her energy, gripped her from inside and out, and held her back. But somehow, much to her surprise, that grip loosened day by day. Iona felt lighter than she had in decades. Her bed sheets hadn’t needed changing since that late night chat with Leo in the pantry, nightmares and cold sweats fading steadily.
Each morning, she awoke with a fresh eagerness to get to the training ring, where Leo would be waiting with coffee before they sparred for hours at a time. Sometimes, the pair would go for a ride, which often included a race between Corso and Tower when Heston didn’t join them. Tower had been adding more wins to his column, of which Iona was childishly proud. During her free hours between meetings, she would lay around the courtyard, and read one of the few books that were new to her from the library or follow Poppy around the kitchens until she taught her some new cooking technique or recipe. For the first time in far too long, Iona felt content, maybe even, dare she admit, happy. Not a fleeting happiness that was always soured by an aftertaste of guilt- but real, warming, irrefutable happiness.
It was with that happiness that Iona looked at her dress for the ball, as it hung waiting for her over the door. She stood and walked to it, running her hands over the soft, shiny crimson fabric. Oh, Elia, still looking out for me from beyond, she thought, grateful for the beautiful gift. “I’m still keeping the black dress, though,” Iona commented aloud. She turned on a heel towards the bathroom, and hopped in the bath to clean up for the party. Heston was going to find someone to marry tonight, and Chrysos would be all the better for her hard work.
Iona was finishing drying off when she heard urgent banging on her bedroom door. She wrapped herself in a towel quickly, and ran to answer. “Hello Commander, long time no see!” a short, mousy looking blonde woman greeted Iona, shoving past her into the room. The woman was followed by two others, a slightly older woman and a tall, slender young man, both with long, silvery hair. They also hustled into the room without Iona’s permission.
Iona clutched her towel around her, aware of how close she was to being naked in front of complete strangers, though they did seem familiar up close. “Excuse me, but who are you? And would you please get out of my room?” she questioned.
The three visitors exchanged puzzled looks. “Oh no, Commander Iona, did your mother not tell you?” the mousy woman asked. Iona’s bewildered face was answer enough, so she continued, “Lady Asa stopped by the staff quarters before she left town, and asked that we come by to get you ready for the ball.” Iona’s face shifted from confused to cranky.
“Unbelievable…” she muttered. Putting on a flat smile, she said, “That won’t be necessary, I apologize for my mother’s…lack of communication.” Rather than shuffling out, as Iona expected, the trio stood staring at her. “So…” she motioned towards the door.
“Please, Miss Iona, let us help,” the silvered hair man insisted, clasping his hands in front of his chest like a little prayer. “It’s our first real chance in so long.” It dawned on Iona in that moment where she’d seen these people before- they were Queen Margot’s former staff. She’d never interacted with them before this.
“Yes, please, Commander. Your mother said you have a dress all the way from Siminy, and it may need tailoring, and she said you don’t know how to wear your hair or put on makeup or-”
“-Yes, yes, I get the point. Thank you,” Iona huffed, rubbing her hands over her face. “Okay, sure, I suppose I could…use some help. Your names?”
All three of them let out various squeals of excitement at her resignation. “I’m Sosi,” the blonde woman introduced herself, “And these are my assistants, Orla and her brother, Dureem.”
With belabored nods, Iona acknowledged them each in turn. “Uh, well, I took a bath, as you can tell. Dress is over there,” she said, pointing towards her door, “Please be careful with it. And I know you were probably used to doing all kinds of things with the Queen’s face and hair, and all that, but I prefer to stick to a more simple…look. I’m not necessarily working tonight, but I’m still the High Commander, and I need to maintain-”
“- Ah, ah, ah, Commander Iona,” Sosi cut in, leading Iona to the seat at her desk, “I’m fully aware of your credentials and preferred way of…dressing.” Iona could tell Sosi was trying her hardest not to be judgmental, but it seeped through anyway. “But we are also the best at what we do! Let us help you do this stunning dress justice,” she said as she began to comb through Iona’s hair. Orla and Dureem flitted around the room, setting out bottles of perfume, palettes, pots, and pigments. Iona’s face twisted at the sight, concerned for what was to come.
Over the next couple of hours, Iona was poked, prodded, and measured while her dress was hemmed and tweaked so it fit just right. It felt like Sosi, Orla, and Dureem never once stood all the way still, chattering about all the women rumored to be at the ball, the food that was to be served, and how excited everyone was at the prospect of a royal wedding. In spite of her discomfort with all the fuss, warmth bloomed in Iona at the thought of some normalcy returning to their kingdom. The ball was the first event of its scale since years before the War.
“Alright, ready for the dress!” Orla called out. Sosi had Iona stand from her seat, and helped as she stepped into the gown. Orla and Dureem tightened the corset, and fluffed the fabric pooling lightly at her feet. The trio gathered in front of the Commander, admiring their work. She turned to look at herself in the mirror they’d leaned against the wall. Iona was stunned by her own reflection. The maroon satin was striking against her tan skin, and the gilded leaves and vines sparkled along the sweeping neckline. Her hair flowed down in waves around her shoulders to the small of her back, pinned away from her face to display the shimmering, golden maquillage expertly applied by Sosi. She walked up behind Iona, and gently laid a hand on her shoulder, “What do you think, Miss?”
Iona cleared her throat, still a bit stunned by her appearance. “I think it all looks just wonderful” she praised, “Thank you.”
“It was our pleasure,” piped up Dureem, while his colleagues nodded in agreement.
“I’m quite certain with how lovely you are, and in such a unique dress, Prince Heston won’t be the only one courted this evening,” Sosi gushed. As they always did when she was embarrassed, the tops of Iona’s ears warmed.
“That’s, um, very kind of you to say, Sosi, but, ahem,” she stammered, “I doubt it very much.” Her eyes wandered over to the vase of moon drops that sat on her desk, and her ears got a little hotter for some reason. “Oh wow, it must be time for me to be going.”
The trio said their goodbyes and well wishes for the evening. Once they left, Iona turned back for a final look in the mirror. She remembered her mother’s words as she ran her hands down the sides of her gown, Forward…
Tonight was going to be the start of Chrysos’ next chapter, and Iona was going to do her damndest to enjoy it.