Anne, John tried to scream but no noise escaped his lips. He was shrouded in darkness with none of his senses working. He couldn’t even feel his own body as his mind drifted aimlessly through the void.

Maybe she made it through, he thought desperately, maybe she jumped in straight after me.

John knew that was a long shot, practically impossible given the situation and the certainty that he’d heard a gunshot as he passed through the gate.

Still, it was easier to hope than to admit that she was dead. The love of his life, gone in a flash. She’d saved his life by sacrificing her own.

His grief was overwhelming and soon mixed with a raging hatred for the man who had caused all of this.

If that cop made it through, he thought loathingly, then I will hunt him down and kill him in the most painful way possible.

Skill unlocked:

Trauma Response.

The words passed through his mind in a flash and suddenly he felt numb. His wife was probably dead and yet he felt nothing.

Well, not exactly nothing. John still felt a pulsing sense of loss coursing through his very being. He felt sad. Like a part of him had been lost forever. His heart physically hurt and he wanted to cry and hug his knees under the warmth of a long shower.

Skill unlocked:

Greif Counselling.

Once again words flashed through his mind and the sadness was gone, replaced with an anger towards both the cop and the giant face in the sky for causing this mess.

He swore to himself once more that he would hunt down that cop and end his life. Assuming he made it through the portal.

The feeling of loss and pain still lingered. It was just that those feelings were… faint. Whilst only a moment ago they were an all-encompassing whirlpool threatening to drown him, now they were just… kind of there.

It was a strange feeling, to know that he should be distraught, that he was barely a second earlier, but now he felt calm. The burning anger and pain that was whirring inside of him turned to cold rage. He still wanted to kill the man, he wanted it more than anything else in the world, but it wasn’t the only thought occupying his brain anymore.

The words that had flashed through his mind reminded him of a video game. They had said skill unlocked and John wondered if it was similar to the kinds of skills one acquired in role playing games.

Perhaps there would be a skill tree like in Skyrim. Maybe he could become a stealth archer… then again, why would he want to use a bow in a world that had guns. That wasn’t very logical even if it was pretty awesome… and a meme.

Words flashed through his head again, this time they were more like an announcement than an unlocked ability.

Congratulations, you have made it through the torii gate and are now officially entered into Battle Royale Earth. Please choose a player name.

Choose a name? What was wrong with his name? Perhaps this was like a gamertag, back in the noughties he’d called himself XxnoobkillerxX and he’d kept the same one into adulthood. That was mostly because he was too lazy to change it though.

Something like that seemed a little outdated nowadays. He liked his real name, common as it was. Then an idea struck him.

John Doe, he thought into the void.

It made sense. This way he could keep his real first name, but also, he’d likely be dead soon anyway. Just another unknown body lying broken in the gutter. In an odd way, he found that notion comforting. At least there was no one left to grieve for him when that inevitability came to pass.

When did I become so morbid? He thought dourly.

Player name: John Doe has been accepted.

The words of acceptance flashed through his mind and then he was back in the real world. He was sealed in a long tube with just enough room to turn around.

Glass surrounded him and he gazed out into space. Stars glittered and the Earth was below him, a giant ball floating in an empty expanse.

Screw you flat earthers, he thought to himself as he looked out at his home and smiled.

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It was beautiful, the kind of wonderous majesty that should have evoked a powerful feeling within him. Under any other circumstance this experience would be incredible, and in a way it was. Am I smiling? Still, the looming threat of the floating head and the knowledge that most of the population was probably already dead soured the moment for John a little.

John looked down to see that he was wearing a skintight, full body suit in a deep blue colour. At least he wasn’t naked, that would have been a little too cliché and would have made probing him that much easier.

That’s what aliens do right? He thought, probe people?

Looking back across the expanse of space he saw millions of other glass pods orbiting the Earth. The closest one to his was a small pod with a pink quadruped standing inside it. The animal had black patches on its skin and it took John a moment to recognise it.

Truffle stared at him through the glass. The tiny pig had made it through the portal. He had been tucked safely under John’s arm when he was pushed through. Of course, he’d only bothered to pick Truffle up because he knew his wife would never leave him behind. Now though, that damned pig was the only tangible thing he had left of her.

Floating behind Truffle and the other pods was an armada of spaceships. Real life spaceships, who’d have thought? One of them was a giant orb that slightly resembled the Death Star apart from the crudely painted letters on the side that spelled O.R.C.

John’s attention was so divided by the various floating objects that he didn’t know where to look. He felt like he should have been freaking out, but he wasn’t. Instead he was fairly calm. It must have been an effect of those weird skills. Any normal person would be having a heart attack were they in his position.

In a flash of green light the floating head appeared once again. It was almost as big as their planet, looming above Earth and staring impassively at the tubes. Its voice boomed out in the same monotony as before, though this time it was projected straight into John’s head.

I guess there’s no sound in space even for powerful alien-head monsters, he thought.

752 million of you managed to make it through the torii gates. This is just below ten percent of your population. Congratulations humans, you may now witness the end of your planet as you know it. Behold! The final word rang out, reverberating painfully in John’s mind

The head disappeared again as huge mushroom clouds littered the Earth’s surface. Continents shifted and lights went out all across the planet.

From the depths of space, it was a surreal sight. The lights that disappeared all across the planet marked the genocide of billions of people. John hoped that it was quick and painless for them… unless that cop was still down there.

If he was, then John hoped that bastard burned and turned into a Fallout feral ghoul or something equally painful and disgusting. He really despised that man.

John, Truffle, and their fellow survivors watched helplessly from their pods as their home was destroyed. The head had mentioned something about a game, would it be played in a nuclear wasteland? Surely the alien head knew enough about basic human anatomy to understand the deadly effects of radiation… didn’t it?

John didn’t have to wait long for an answer. The green, ethereal head reappeared in front of them soon after the final light vanished and the planet went dark, its impassive expression on full view, as it spoke into John’s mind once more.

Your planet will now be reborn anew as it integrates with the system. Soon you will be returned to the surface for the 999th season of Battle Royale. This season it will be overseen by me, Chairman Tanlan of the Inter-Planetary System Council, with assistance from coveted and honourable showrunners with prior experience in running these games.

Battle Royale is a time-honoured tradition in which the inhabitants of a newly integrated world fight to see who is the strongest of the species.

There can only be one winner, though you won’t just be fighting amongst yourselves down there. In a few moments you will have to choose your starting location and from there you will have ten Earth days to find a torii gate and ascend to the next round.

In order to pass the first round you must collect a full deck of four cards and one soul card. Killing other contestants is not mandatory in the first round, but it is strongly advised that you do so. Failure to collect a full deck of cards will result in you being unable to ascend to the next round.

If you do not go through the gate in time you will be exterminated.

Now, get out there and CULL THE MASSES!

As the last words bounced around John’s skull in an intolerably loud echo, it sounded like hundreds of other voices joined Chairman Tanlan’s.

Before John had time to think further on the implications of that, there was a small flash of violet light and a large slot machine appeared in front of his pod.

It was quite literally floating in space, lever and all, as three spinning sections rotated slowly in the centre of the contraption. The last time John had seen a slot machine he’d lost one hundred dollars’ worth of quarters in Atlantic City.

The rotating sections had pictures on them, just like any normal slot machine, but in place of cherries and the number seven, there were pictures of land masses.

He saw a shape, that looked slightly like a hanging phallus, roll by on the centre section and instantly recognised it as the geographical representation of Florida.

Try your luck contestant! Pull the level for your first free spin!

Words ruminated in his skull just like they had previously and with a hearty sigh he complied.

He reached out, but his hand hit the hard glass of his pod. Just in case, he tried to push his fingers through the glass, you could never know with these odd alien contraptions after all, but it was solid and his hand did not pass through.

“How exactly am I supposed to pull the lever when there’s a glass pod between us?” He asked nobody in particular in his frustration.

Action:

“Pull the lever”

Has been accepted.

The words flashed through his mind both visually and in a robotic, female voice which reminded him of an android on a TV show he’d once seen.

Before his very eyes the lever was yanked down by an invisible force and the slot machine’s centre sections began spinning.

The first section stopped, landing on a landmass that looked a little bit like someone had tried to make a pancake in the shape of the Millenium Flacon, and failed.

Then the second section landed on the same image, and the third. John was no geography scholar, but he knew where he was going to be sent.

Christ alive! He cursed internally, they’re sending me there? Every animal and insect in that country was attempting to kill people before all of this, God only knows how bad it’ll be now.

He sighed, resigning himself to a fate most unfortunate, as the robotic voice rang, and words flashed through his mind once more.

Congratulations! Your starting location will be:

Australia.

“Yup, I’m definitely going to die,” he said to himself, wondering if picking the name John Doe might have somehow caused this unfortunate event, like some sort of karmic retribution.

He sighed loudly and that sigh quickly devolved into a scream as the pod suddenly and violently plummeted towards the Earth’s surface.

“There’s not supposed to be any gravity in spaaaaacccceeee!”