Chapter 6: A rather inappropriate section
Today has been a roller-coaster ride. I went from the lowest point possible in this life of mind to the top of the world. Things were looking up however, Aizumi and her problem was a much-needed diversion. Even me telling Aoi all the horrors ended with a surprisingly cheery note thanks to Akihiko.
Gaining another member, the Paranormal Activity club (unofficial) went into full gear. Akihiko would try to find out why some teachers aren't affect by my twisted vision. Aoi's job is to access the Paranormal Activity club's (official) records. Once upon the time that place was filled with serious people after all. They had left behind quite a substantial amount of written records, maybe they did catch onto something.
Finally, class is over. Walking to the old-school building, I can feel the excitement burning in me. My pace quickens into a full sprint.
Entering the old clock tower, I open the door to the desolate library. Navigating the maze-like bookshelves, I make my way to the librarian desk only to find it empty. What is going on? I thought to myself, Yuuko is always here after class. The counter is still open though, that's mean she must be around.
Maybe she is going to the toilet, or maybe picking out some book… I assure myself but the words ring hollow. Something inside me feels like churning as I start to have cold sweat. What if it has… gotten her… I soon dismiss the thought, however, there are plenty of reasons why one would leave her seat. And yet, this accursed mind keeps on gravitating toward the grimmest of possibilities. Fear soon envelops my body and I am left shivering.
Ah, this feeling of dread has been gnawing at me for a while now. Things all went too well after hell breaking loose like that. It was too idyllic, so much that I have been expecting some sort of divine intervention to strike down at the struggling me.
Suddenly someone grabs my shoulders and I recoil in terror.
"President, are you alright?" It's Yuuko! Just looking at her has calmed me down somewhat.
"Eh, me? Haha, I'm fine, very fine indeed" I said hastily, trying to brush it off.
To my surprise, Yuuko lets that obvious lie through "I see" She just said "Well then, let's us go to"
"To the clubroom? I thought you still have work to do?"
"About that, I have decided to close down the library early today" She gives me a wink while spinning a set of keys around "I lock the door even so no one could come in!"
"Um, you do the staffs have a copy right…"
Looking at me, a devilish smile flashes across her face. Now this is a rare expression, I thought… Why is she making that though! I ask but she keeps on whistling, in the end all I receive is 'Guess!"
Letting out a sigh I take on her challenge "You changed the lock right"
On Yuuko face is a shocked expression. She must have expected me to take much more tries than this. Got her 'hard to guess' mood ready even. But still, of course I would notice the extra keys on your keychain. They are quite old though, she probably dug them up from somewhere.
"Aww, what's wrong" I said in the sweetest of tone, enough to give myself type 2 diabetes.
Having failed in her attempt to tease me and got counter attacked instead, Yuuko doesn't know how to feel or what face to use. Embarrassed, she starts to put with her cheeks slightly red. Ah, my vice president is just too cute! I can't help it but to give her a pat and ruffle her hair (while on a chair of course)
"You are just treating me like kid now…" She said in muffled voice.
"Ha ha"
"President… it's kind of creepy how much you are enjoying this"
Ah, that hurts! Being treated by a child by nearly everyone for my look, I really do like doing the same to someone else. Hearing Yuuko said that makes me feel like a pervert though… Mother I swear I'm not one!
At least she seems to enjoy my mental struggle, that or maybe just the sight of me getting off a chair.
"You know" Yuuko said with her rare seductive tone "We have this entire library to ourselves"
Her sudden shift in tone caused me to mess up my descending and fell on my bottoms. It hurts alright but I don't care, the scene of me has taken all of my attention. It is of Yuuko who is on all fours, crawling toward me. She looks at me with the eyes of a predator, a cat perhaps playing her prey. On her face is a playful grin with a hint of naughtiness.
Oh how am I fixated on that girl now, everything else just slowly fades away. Time even seems to slow down just so I can appreciate her beauty more. Suddenly, Yuuko licks her lips sultrily. I can feel myself burning up with something other than embarrassment for once.
This is all progressing so fast… but it's not like I hate it. I'm still a healthy high school boy after all!
Yuuko puts up her hand to my forehead and gives it a poke.
"Ok, you are 'it' now!" And with just that she bolted of, leaving me sitting there like an idiot.
It took me what felt like an eon to realise what is going on, I'm becoming slow these day. I try to find Yuuko but it seems like quite a difficult task. This library is huge with many maze-like pathways and I haven't been to most of them even. Isn't this more hide and seek then?
Or not since I can hear Yuuko calling out for me. It takes me a while to navigate this place but I am finally there, just after this turn…
Suddenly, Yuuko flings herself and pins me down to the floor "What took you so long, I was getting scared here!"
"Sorry, guess I should have yelled back at you" I said, scratching my head "But why don't you just return then?"
After hearing my question, she immediately turns away with her mind in full gear. But what is she thinking about? Or don't tell me… "Were you lost?" I guessed and it hit bullseye.
"No, it's not like… Alright, I was really lost" She admitted.
Looking at her like this just make me want to tease her some more but I manage to resist the temptation. I still want to do something though. After some thought, I decide in a flip that catches an unsuspecting Yuuko off-guard. Now I am the one on top! Ah, what is this unfamiliar feeling of dominating! This feel so wrong yet so right!
We stay like that for a minute, then another, then another and another…
"Um, what were you going to next, President?" Yuuko, who has turned from embarrassed to awkward, asked.
"Guess that I should have put more thought into this" I admitted.
That was a lie, however, I did have quite a clear thought of what to do. A kiss followed up by maybe a slight touch and much much more, use your own imagination for this one. It was all her though, leading me by the nose like that only for the bait and switch. How was I supposed to get rid of this excitement that easily. Well, that was the plan anyway but I don't want to force something like this on my Yuuko.
Before I could stand up though she suddenly pulls me down into her embrace.
"What the?" I asked with my muffled voice.
"This is to say sorry" She said.
"Um, there is nothing for you to apologise for"
"Well, that was for… leading you on earlier…"
Wait, did she notice my excitement, pretty sure I hid it pretty well! Yuuko continues.
"I was… curious too you know so there is no need to hide that. I wanted to do… stuffs as well but not out of impulse like that…"
She couldn't continue anymore due to the embarrassment. I did get she mean though and it kind of makes me glad that she feels the same. After the kiss, a deep one even, yesterday I was getting anxious. Make no mistake, that wasn't my first nor the furthest I have ever gotten. It just that Aoi isn't my girlfriend and yet we did something like that.
The circumstance made it justifiable, but I can't help but feel anxious about my progress with Yuuko. This coupled with the fact that my previous relationship progress way faster. Too fast though, that skewed my own perspective about how something like this would progress. I was worried that Yuuko wouldn't feel the same about me.
Guess now I have my confirmation now. Hearing all that has calmed me down completely. There is no need for rush development. This to me is plentily fine. Besides, I'm not that thirsty for a physical relationship, having experienced plentily already.
"Don't worry, that was the right thing to do!" I assured Yuuko and hold her tight in my arms "I'm more than satisfied as long as you are with me"
Even though I couldn't see her, I can still sense a faint smile. A presumptuous guess but one I hope to be the truth. Yuuko reacts by holding me back. It makes me kind of guilty for lying again. Of course I want Yuuko, my one and only Yuuko. But oh well, I can wait.
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Smothered by her gentleness, I slowly drifted off to sleep along with this dirty rotten mind.
I finally woke up just in time to see the sun setting. The horizon was bleached with a striking red to my still unadjusted eyes. The scenery was most vivid and otherworldly. Maybe it was truly unreal, I couldn't tell if this filter is showing me the truth or what. Although it was quite unlike me to dream up something like that seeing that the sun setting had never left any impact on me before.
Yuuko had to leave in quite a rush though, it was way pass her schedule. It made me felt like a jerk, keeping her here like this. So, she left but not without leaving a final smile for me. That girl was certainly magical cause that never fail to cheer me up.
Now I am have finally reached my room, still with an idiotic grin plastered on my face. Bursting the door open with joy, what greets me is most unusual.
There he is, Dorian Grey, sitting the with all of his irresistible charm. It seems like he has gathered quite a bit of power to show a form this clear and alluring… But why is a person like that… holding my underpants in his hand! To make matter worse, Dorian is looking me with eyes filled with guilt as well. So he does know what is going on isn't normal!
"I'm so sorry for my action" He apologised while kneeling with his head touching the ground. Whoa. a dogeza no less!
"Um, it's alright, I'm not mad at all" That is the truth, it will take a lot more to dampen this Yuuko-infused positivity "But what are you doing?"
"About that, I woke up shortly after you left for school. Sitting around with all of this made me rather… curious"
The man admitted. I can understand why he would feel that way though. Dorian has been locked up in that cabinet for as long as he can remember. To be surrounded by darkness like that must have been torturous. When he was finally freed the circumstance wasn't the brightest. Only now can he finally explore this world… starting with my room though.
"So, Mr. President, how has your day been" Dorian asked.
"Why are you calling me 'President' though?"
"Isn't that what everyone calls you?"
"Now that you say it. Well, I don't really have any problem with it… actually you can remover the 'Mr' part" I answered. There is a lot of things for me to tell him but there is one problem that need to be addressed now "Dorian… you can stop kneeling now"
The man finally sits up, now we can finally talk properly.
"There is something I have to ask. Does the name Elizabeth rings any bell at all?"
"It does sound familiar but I don't think I know who that is" Dorian answered. He tries to remember but nothing seems to come to light.
"That's strange, she refers to you as brother after all" Besides, you guys actually look scarily similar, just like a gender swap version of one another. Most of all, they both radiate an overwhelming beauty. Just looking at them can put someone in a trance, not me though since I am already used to it.
Actually, if I try to filter out that godly presence, what will be left… Wait, this…
"Are you alright there, President?" Dorian asked me who is now dumbfounded by a new-found revelation.
"I… I know someone who looks just like Elizabeth, down to every single detail except the hair colour" I said "That person just doesn't have the same aura as you two"
"Can you tell me who is that?"
Dorian asked me with an almost desperate tone to it.
"Well, she has been living with us ever since I could remember. She takes care of all the household chores only, also looking after me when I was a child as well"
Back then, I always thought she was a relative. After all, in our whole small town only the three of us have yellow hair and blue eyes. She also distantly resembles mother somewhat.
"For the longest time, I thought she is my auntie. Mother calls her Atsuko, which I highly doubt is her real name"
I never found the name jarring though, probably because mine is also Japanese as well.
"Do you think she is a Grey as well?" Dorian asked.
"I… don't know actually. But I sure hope not!" Now I feel distressed just thinking about that possibility "Atsuko is… my mother's lover after all"
"Eh?" Dorian is dumbfounded "How does that work? Aren't they both…"
"Female? Yep, they are" Just talking about this makes me despises this memory of mine. I will remember everything to the most minute of details. Also, our apartment isn't that big either so…No, no, no, I need to get away from this topic quick. The last thing I need is to remember mother…
"AGHHHHHH" I screamed mentally as all the inappropriate memories returned in droves. Just images are horrifying enough but no, this ability of mine has to record everything!
At least Dorian seems to notice my blank face of silent agony, the man decides to drop the subject.
"Anyway, how come I can see you now, Dorian" I asked, trying to distract myself.
"I have been wondering about that as well. My guess is that because there are more people around here. Right now, I can feel the presence of others in this building"
So he can siphon power from people? From me and those around, the thought of that gives me cold sweet. How much is he sucking from us and what sort of 'power' is this exactly. This also begs another question.
"What about before, when you were in that cabinet? Was there some sort of seal or something?"
Placing his chin on his hand, Dorian gives the question a few moment before answering.
"I don't believe that is the case. Back then I didn't use this power for anything so acquiring it wasn't much of a priority. But now I could do something, make a difference…"
Gazing at his palm, Dorian fell silent. His mind no doubt filled with possibilities of what could do or could have done.
"If only I knew, maybe I could prevent that in the first place, her death"
The man murmured to himself with bitterness in his voice. He must care for her a lot, Aoi that is. I can't imagine what it must feel like, to be in the dark for so long. To hear it all, the students the teachers and everything that went on in that art room.
I can feel it, I can see it, a man desperately reaching out. But no matter how hard he tries, there is nothing there for him to touch, to feel. No matter how loud he screams, no one could hear him, no one would answer.
The darkness must have felt eternal, unbearable, suffocating.
But then one day someone did answer, someone did hear his pleas. It was a girl, full of worries but also full of energy. To him, she was there, she was real, she was alive. Then someone, something had to come and tear it away from her. That must have been the catalyst to awaken his power. Now here he is, discovering his potential like a child learning how to walk.
And what a terrifying child he is. I can see it, distortion in the air, space twisting itself within his palm. Dimension itself is flailing, writhing violently. There isn't anything particular horrific about it and yet I find this scene highly disturbing. Yes the me who has seen this world in its beautiful rotten form. How could I find something like this so unnerving! It's as if I am seeing the natural order of this world being bent in the hand of a spectral figure.
Feeling light-headed, I have to take a seat as strange phenomenon start to surface. Dots, there are dots in the middle of the rooms, there are dots everywhere. They are all impenetrably dark, maybe because there is nothing there, even light. They are hollow yet so inviting, as if they are luring you fill in those dots.
Oh and when I say they are everywhere, I don't mean just the kind you can see. I can smell it, I can hear it, I can feel it, I can taste it, dots of nothingness. You are always seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling, tasting, something anything, your mind just adjust those things to be normal, to be ignored. Quite ironic isn't it, that nothingness can be so noticeable, so much so that all your attentions are seemingly drawn into that void. But you aren't swallowed whole, no this is just like being nibbled by emptiness.
I try to stand up, to stop Dorian but just end up head-first into the ground anyway. I don't understand, this is not like my vision or the room itself is twisted. And yet, I can't seem to orient myself, maybe there are more dots than I could ever imagine, or in my imagination as well. They are also getting bigger and bigger, I can feel it, terror/amazement/grief/loathing/rage/vigilance/ecstasy/admiration/fear/surprise/sadness/disgust/anger/anticipation/joy/trust/apprehension/distraction/pensiveness/boredom/annoyance/interest/serenity/acceptance/submission/awe/disapproval/remorse/contempt/aggressiveness/optimism/love. That feeling is surging inside me.
Looking up, I can see a fr il lump of meat and s in and bone that is s pposed to be my arm. Is t at thing ev n connected o me I wond r, it sur doe n't feel t at way. A tually, is his vis on e en min .
T e v ids, he ttin …
…
…
…
"President, wake up, President!"
Suddenly, an angelic voice pierced my ears gently. I wake up to see Dorian kneeling by my side. Why does he look so shaken, as if something horrible has happened? Looking at me, tears start to stream out of his clear blue eyes.
"You are… awake, I thought that you would… because of me"
Oh, so it is because of that. I try to calm down him down, the man is starting to become hysterical.
"If you are… gone as well, I…I…"
Dorian stuttered, he is currently having some sort of panic attack. To see someone this stunning breaking down like this is most unreal. To see him not being his alluring self. There is a strange sense of satisfaction in this though, knowing that it is because of me.
I try to calm him down, to tell him it wasn't bad at all. That is the truth or more like I think? I can't seem to make up my mind or feeling about that experience at all. Was it bad? Was it good? Was it horrifying? Was it interesting? I really don't know. At least I don't regret it so there that… I guess?
"So, what did you do?" I asked him, hope that this would him feel better.
"I was making this, I don't know why though"
Dorian opens his palm to reveal a small ball-like gem. The thing shines a sparkling but gentle shade of brown. For some reason, I find it to be so lively, so energetic, just like… Ah, so that's it. The realisation brings a smile to my face.
"What's wrong? You don't like this creation of yours?"
"No, it's not like that. The problem is the opposite, I feel strangely… attracted to it. This feeling, it doesn't sit right with me, it feels dirty somehow…"
I can certainly get where the man came from. The gem just seems to radiate love, longing, it is passionate yet clear, pure. And yet, Dorian still feel dirty, to look at his own innocent attraction. Kind of ironic given his name I supposed.
"If you don't want to, maybe I can have it instead" For some reason, I just blurted it out.
Looking at me, Dorian seems to be truly bewildered "You want this… impure thing?"
"Of course" I gave a meaningless answer. After a few moments of hesitation, it is finally in my palm. Just holding it somehow makes me more conscious of my own perverted mine… No, no it's not at dirty all, my mind that is…
"Is there anything else?" I asked seeing that Dorian is still thinking about something.
"Maybe tomorrow could you bring me to school!"
"Huh? Why?" Does he want to study now, nah I think not.
"I absorbed an immense amount of power right now, greater than I had ever accumulate before. Yet I can still maintain this form, I can still communicate with you. Imagine if I can draw even more… maybe I can beat it, President! Maybe I can eradicate that rot!" Dorian said with a vengeful tone at the end there.
I'm not sure about this though "I don't think you should do this" I said.
"Why, I can do it, to get rid of this evil!" Dorian was nearly yelling.
"But are you getting too agitated here, just… calm down for bit!" Standing up, I yelled back at him "What if you fail! Slow down for a bit will you"
"How can I know if I don't try" He also stood up, dwarfing the not so tall me "Besides, this is nor the time to go slow. What if he strikes again, what if something… happens to her again. I thought you would know this best, witnessing it with your own eyes like that!"
I… I don't know how to say about that actually. For a moment, images of most gruesome nature flash in my mind. I manage to suppress them though, these grisly memories. I certainly don't want to see them again, to see Aoi suffers and yet… I just don't want to do this for some reason. I try to rack my brain but couldn't think of any excuse.
"You are right… I will bring you to school first thing in the morning"
"Thank you President" Sitting down again, Dorian continues "And sorry for earlier, I shouldn't yell like that. It was rude and undignified of me"
"Nah, it's fine, I can understand… you no what, I will crash now"
Ignoring his response I dive for this comfy bed of mine. The moment I touch the thing, all the fatigue in the world hits me all at once. I am nearly out cold! Trying to set the alarm first though. I notice that this is still the school uniform from last night. I am too tired to change though so let's just skip it for today.
Holding the gem in my hand, I slowly drift to sleep. I see is that time with Aoi in the empty music room. That girl was truly irresistible…
Before I am out completely, my mind still manages to shift back to Yuuko in the end, MY Yuuko.