After all the busywork yesterday, I fell asleep early enough that I naturally woke up before the Chief stormed into my room to yank me out of bed. After having breakfast, I was told to wait out the back for Rann for some sword training to see how competent I am with a blade that’s in my hands rather than in my wings. I was told to stand in this exact spot and not move until Rann shows up.

How long I have to wait, though, is something I wasn’t told. I’ve already been standing out here for twenty minutes at least, and those clouds overhead look like they’ll rain any minute now.

When I do finally hear footsteps squelching through the mud around the building, there’s more than one set of them. And they sound far too small to belong to Rann.

“Newbie!!” A child’s voice yells behind me.

I turn on the spot, and… look down at the three children standing before me. The apparent leader of them is a boy with very short brown hair and bright red eyes, whose self-assured gumption says he’s probably no older than ten. He’s flanked by two girls; the taller one on the left, presumably older with her red-tinged black hair tied back in a ponytail, and a nervous, shorter girl with sandy-blonde hair and pale red eyes clinging to the taller girl.

Now, despite the fact that a third of Haven’s inhabitants are children, I haven’t met any of them, let alone been approached by them. The Chief said I shouldn’t approach them of my own volition either just so there’s no misunderstandings while most of Haven doesn’t necessarily trust me that much, and the adults are very protective of the children here. It hasn’t stopped a few inquisitive kids from watching me through windows or peeking out from behind corners, but none of them have been so bold as to walk straight up to me.

And did he just call me “newbie”?

“Are you… talking to me?”

“Hmm! You really are a newbie if you don’t know how to address your superiors!” The boy proclaims, marching up to me as if he’s expecting me to kneel.

“Superior? What?”

The taller girl just sighs to herself in the face of the boy’s performance, while the younger girl clings to her, nervously looking up at me.

“Well, since I am your superior, it falls on me to explain how things work, newbie. I’ve heard people say you’re fifteen. That you’re twenty-something! That you haven’t been in the Abyss long despite being an adult, or that you’re a magical familiar the Chief summoned. None of that matters! What matters is you have been in Haven for less time than me, so therefore I, Hadrian, am your senior and superior in Haven!” He says, with all the confidence and gusto only a child could muster.

“... What?”

“It must be difficult to understand, but you should count yourself fortunate. I’ve spent two years as the newest person in Haven, serving my time at the bottom of the ladder… but no more, now that you are here! Now, you needn’t worry.” He tuts, wagging his finger. “I, Hadrian, will be a kind, generous, and helpful senior. I know all too well how it feels to be at the bottom, and I shan’t subject you to the same.”

“Uh… huh…”

“Now, come, my junior, and let me show you around Haven in a way only I can!” He extends his hand out to me, willing me to take it.

“You don’t know her name, do you, Adri?” The taller girl speaks up.

“Th-that doesn’t matter!! And don’t call me Adri in front of the newbie!!”

“Adri’s a cute nickname.” I smile.

“Y-you will call me Hadrian, newbie!!” Hadrian… yeah, I’m going to call him Adri, retorts as his cheeks flush red.

“Could either of you two explain, uh… what Adri is trying to tell me?” I ask, as Adri continues to complain and demand respect, even though he’s barely half as at all as me.

“Adri’s been the newest person in Haven for the past two years. He just wants to boast that he’s not at the bottom of the pole anymore.” The taller girl answers.

“So, seniority is based on when you joined Haven, not your age?”

“Your age matters too. Adri doesn’t want to think about that.” She sighs lightly.

“It doesn’t matter, Mei!! All that matters is that she's newer than me!” Adri yells back.

“And just what are you three doing here?” The Chief asks, standing in the back doorway of the library.

The three kids freeze. I jump too, and my wings awkwardly flop out of my cloak in surprise, only further confusing the kids. Adri tries to stammer out a response, the younger girl clings even closer to the taller girl Mei, and Mei’s the only one that can form a coherent sentence.

“Ch-Chief Lichtrufer! We were… um… Adri just got worked up over there being a new person in Haven, and… Irie and I came with him just so he wouldn’t get hurt!” Mei manages to say as the younger girl, Irie, presses her face into Mei’s simple dress.

“Marina isn’t going to hurt anyone.” The Chief sighs softly, smiling to let the kids know they’re not in trouble. “Not on my watch, anyway. She has an important job to do. Just like how you three were supposed to be helping weed the farm today, hmm?”

“She’s named Marina…?” Irie asks in a meek, quiet tone, peeking out from behind Mei.

“Yes. I’m Marina.” I smile at her.

Irie looks me up and down a moment, before shrinking back behind Mei just enough that I can only see one of her eyes. “I had a friend named Marina, but you don’t look like a Marina…”

“I don’t?” I don’t look like I fit my name? I mean, my body has changed a bit in this world, but… I don’t look like a Marina?

“Marinas don’t have wings.” She says, furrowing her brow a little.

“Many different people may have the same name, Irie. It’s quite rare for someone to have a unique name all of their own.” The Chief adds in. “Now run along, you three. You wouldn’t want Yvonne to find out you haven’t been helping with your tasks, would you?”

The three kids shake their heads in unison, hurrying past me while giving my wings a wide berth, down along the side of the library and onto the main street, leaving me and the Chief alone behind the library.

“Should I apologise for, uh… engaging with them?”

“No, it’s not your fault, Marina. Nor can I fault the childrens’ curiosity. I’m just glad this happened away from prying eyes, so hopefully no trouble comes from it…” She crosses her arms, looking towards the schoolhouse. “That’s the biggest concern some have. The safety of the children around you. I know you don’t mean any harm, but your wings are a different story.”

My wings shuffle and rub against my back. Somehow, I get a distinct feeling of guilt in my mind.

“They’re learning. And getting better at behaving. At least, they don’t seem to want to hurt anyone.” I shift my shoulders to move my cloak up slightly as my wings slink back inside its enchanted pocket… storage… dimension… thing. I still can’t believe I have such an item.

“If you’re sure…” The Chief shrugs lightly, looking up at the sky. “Looks like it might rain. I’m heading back inside. Rann will be here soon enough.

I go to follow her in, only for her to pivot on the spot, looking unimpressed.

“I believe you were told to wait here, weren’t you?” She raises an eyebrow.

“But… you said it will rain?”

“It might rain. It might not. Only time will tell. You’re waiting there.” She turns back and heads inside, closing the door behind her.

Guess I have to keep waiting here, I guess.

That was my first interaction with some of the children of Haven. They weren’t as afraid of me as I feared they would be. Well, Mei and Adri didn’t seem afraid, but Irie… she seemed more like the kind of girl that’s afraid of everything. I’ve seen those types before. She almost… reminds me of someone, but I can’t put my finger on who. I met a few girls like that; usually the young daughters of the families we personally delivered some of our instruments too. Young, sheltered, pale and sometimes sickly, always clinging to someone’s dress. It seems she’s well looked-after by her friends and by the people of Haven.

I can understand why people would be protective of her. I also understand why… people would be defensive towards me. I have wings. With swords in them. With a mind of their own. I’ve already scarred someone’s face, though apparently, the scars were only skin-deep, and he likes to show them off now. That hasn’t changed everyone’s opinions on me, though.

For now, it’s best I just do as I’m told and try and keep my nose out of trouble.

…

Well.

I’ve been waiting for over an hour.

In the rain.

Blood rain.

It’s not actual blood, the Chief says. It’s just water that’s full of iron.

It’s sure staining my sleeves like actual blood would.

I could move, but I know the Chief’s watching me from the window, so I’ll behave, I’ll stay put.

For another hour, until the rain ceases, and look who turns up.

“Ah, the rain’s stopped.” Rann says nonchalantly, walking around the corner of the library to stand across from me.

“You were waiting for the rain to stop before coming here?”

“I was. You didn’t have a choice. Out there, none of us do.” Rann nods in the direction of the main gate.

He places down his pack against one of the library’s pillars, pulling out two wooden swords, throwing one to me which I manage to catch. It’s a bit heavier than I expected, but… it is solid wood. It’d still hurt to get hit by this.

“Two questions, Marina. Know anything about hunting?”

“I… not really, no. We didn’t have to hunt to afford meat, and I was kinda terrible with a bow anyway…”

“Alright.” Rann walks across to stand opposite me, wooden sword in hand.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“... Alright? And, question two…?”

Rann smiles. Then, he’s on me in a flash, sword raised and falling on me in a flash, too fast for my arm to move up to intercept - but my wing deftly swipes upward, rushing from its confines to protect me from the strike. Rann regains his footing quickly, stepping backwards.

“Hmm, even when they’re in the cloak they do move quickly to defend you. That may be problematic for today’s lesson, though…”

Rann scratches his chin, before pointing at the outstretched wing.

“Can you make them stay in the cloak? It’d be difficult to test your actual skill level with swordplay if they’re going to shield you like that.”

Hmm. He has a point. Can you stay in the cloak, wings? He’s not trying to kill me, so I’m in no danger here. You just stay in there and let me handle this, okay?

My wing gives a small flap and then withdraws itself within the cloak. Alright, been a little while, but I’m still pretty good with a sword-

“Gyaahhhh!!!”

Rann strikes me square against my upper arm, making me drop my sword and clench where he struck. Fuck, that hurt. Rann chuckles.

“Well, your wings stayed put. Seems we can do some proper sword training. But first, we’ll assess your current ability. Pick up the sword.”

“Alright, alright, just…”

I pick up the wooden sword, getting used to its weight in my hand. Despite being wooden, it’s weighted properly and it feels comfortable to wield. But somehow, I get the feeling that…

“... wouldn’t a spear or any kind of polearm be a more sensible weapon for hunting and general defensive actions…?”

“Are you trained in using any of those weapons you mentioned?” Rann says, more of a blunt statement than a question.

I’m not, so I’ll go along with what he says. I take a basic ready stance, and Rann nods in approval.

“Good. It’s best we start with what you know, then we’ll go from there.”

Rann’s immediately at me again, his sword flying towards my left thigh, too fast for me to block in time. He strikes me, sending a painful jolt through my body, but I flick up my sword in time to deflect his next blow aimed at my right shoulder. He steps back, raising an eyebrow as I rub the sore spot on my thigh.

“You deflected the strike at your shoulder, but let through a fatal strike to the leg?”

“I knew I wouldn’t move fast enough to stop you from hitting my leg, so it was either get hit once or get hit twice!!”

“So you know your own limits. Hmm. Try and strike me, then.” Rann adopts a stance of his own, holding his sword above his head.

If he’s taking a high stance, then let’s see how this five-step combo my mother taught me will fare…

I step in, thrusting my sword straight for his chest. He strikes downwards to deflect the first blow, sending a twang of pain through my arms with the sheer strength of his parry, so I follow up with a shallow strike at his left shoulder. He blocks the second strike, but my third comes in at full force aimed at his left hip. He deftly twists his sword and swings upward, throwing back my third attack, so my fourth quickly comes down in a downward swing at his head, the wooden swords klacking together as he blocks, before I pull my arms back and thrust straight for his chest a second time -

Only for my sword to thrust at the air, as Rann steps aside and strikes my arm with the pommel of his sword, nearly making me drop it again.

Fuck. That was the best combo I knew, and all it got me was sore arms and a lot of sweat. I didn’t even hit him once.

“Hmm. Your mother taught you some interesting techniques, but you lack direction.” Rann places his sword in the ground, rubbing his chin.

“Direction? What, do I need to aim my strikes better…?” I say, panting and wiping the sweat from my brow.

“Your stance and footwork are correct, but there are only two ways to break an opponent’s guard. Speed, or strength. You hit them faster than they can block, or you hit them harder than they can take. Same goes for movement. Move fast to get around their guard, or force them back to break their guard.”

He has a point, but…

“What do I do if my opponent is faster and stronger?”

“Don’t fight fair.” Rann states.

Alright, don’t fight fair. Rann picks up his sword again, taking up his stance and pointing his sword at me. I take up my sword, waiting for Rann to make his move. When he does, you know what to do, wings.

Rann steps forward, thrusting his sword straight towards my face. My wings shoot out, blades extended, deflecting the strike as planned. What I didn’t plan on was my wings taking over the fight for me, wildly swinging at Rann and dragging me around while doing so.

Wings. Please. This isn’t working. Just stop, okay? Stop.

They stop, letting me stand back up straight and dust myself off after being yanked around like a dog on a chain. Rann looks mildly interested in what he’s just seen.

“Your wings could stand to learn a thing or two from watching you.”

Apparently insulted by this statement, my wings flick out and curl downwards, resting their upper ridges on my hips-

“Hey! Don’t use my body to express your disgruntlement at Rann’s very truthful statement!” I shout, pushing my wings off my hips as they try to hold their pouty little pose.

“They’re at least competent at defending you. I doubt anyone outside Haven would expect your wing-swords if they made a lunge at you.” Rann chuckles.

After some struggling, my wings eventually give in and go back into their cloak. I almost feel like I should give them a name, but what the hell do you name sentient wings? Icarus? That’s not the biggest question on my mind right now, however. The question that is on my mind…

“Say, Rann, since you’re so talkative when the topic is combat and there’s no one else around, can I ask a question?”

“Ask.” Rann furrows his brow, slightly perturbed by my words but listening regardless.

“You’re not interested in training me to hunt with a spear or bow are you? Rather…”

“Go on.” Rann’s gone back to his more familiar blunt and curt manner of speaking.

“You want to train me to fight people. To defend Haven, or to… fight people outside Haven’s walls. Training me to kill. Because… that’s what I’d need to know to survive down here.”

Rann sighs, looking away and planting his sword in the ground.

“You’re lucky it was Einar’s club that knocked you out. Had he been a second slower, I’d have taken your head off.”

“You’d…”

A cold, hollow feeling fills me. My hands, and probably also my face, go pale. I was that close to death, less than a day after ending up here?

“Einar saw you coming. He chose to knock you out because he was, in his words, curious. You looked too old to be a kid who’d just woken up here, but too well-dressed and clueless to be someone who grew up here. It was his judgement that saved you from a quick death.”

“... I should thank him.”

“You could.” Rann nods.

That close to death, huh. Should I consider it a miracle that I’m alive if I’m alive in hell? Can anything be reasonably classified as a miracle down here…? I don’t know. I’m just standing here lost in thoughts and Rann’s standing there waiting for me to do something. He seems more chatty when it’s just the two of us, so I’ll ask him a probing question and see where it goes.

“Can I ask something, Rann?”

“Go ahead.” Rann stands up a little straighter, listening to what I have to ask.

“Do you consider this place, this world, to be hell?”

“That isn’t related to your training.” Rann narrows his eyes a little, scratching his chin.

“You never said my questions had to be related to training.”

“No, I didn’t, so I’ll answer one unrelated question and then we’re going to do some sparring. Shoot.” Rann sighs, pulling his sword from the ground.

“Do you consider this place, this world, hell?”

“No.” Rann stares at me straight in the eyes as he gives his one-word answer.

“Err… just, no? That’s your answer?”

Rann shrugs, having nothing more to say on the matter.

Guess that probing question had nowhere to go. I mean… Well, I guess everyone here’s had years to process the fact of where they are. These are the Underlands. Not really the hell we were told about, just another world that’s similar, but way suckier than our old one. If there is a “Hell” like we were told, this is probably just the waiting room. But then would that make this purgatory…? I never heard or read of any mention of a purgatory… Damn, I wish I listened to the priest more, maybe I’d have a slightly better-

“G-gyahhh! I was still thinking!”

Rann takes a wide swing at me, which my wing deflects, before another swing from Rann aims for my head. I strike it away with my own sword, taking a step back to try to get some space.

“You won’t have time to think on the battlefield, Marina. Arms up, stay guarded.” Rann lunges at me again, and the fight is back on.

Surely, if I just hold out, this’ll only be like fifteen minutes and we’ll be done and I can go back inside and take a load off. I forgot how exhausting fighting is…

…

Four.

Fucking.

HOURS.

My arms refuse to move. My legs are numb. Even my wings are exhausted, messily splayed out on the ground beneath me as I lay here trying to catch my breath. I have so many bruises my body stopped keeping track of where I was hurt so now everything hurts.

“Hmm. Think we should wrap up for the day if you’re just going to lay in the dirt.” Rann mutters, picking up my wooden sword that has managed to remain more intact than my arms.

“You THINK?”

I’m laying in the goddamn dirt because I was kicked into the goddamn dirt.

“The only thing that’s been “trained” here is my pain tolerance!”

“High pain tolerance can mean the difference between life and death. The ability to stay focused even in great pain is a strength.” Rann scratches his chin, walking up and extending a hand.

I glare up at him. You’d think it’d be obvious that I couldn’t just take his hand like it was nothing with the very purple bruises visible on my forearms. Rann sighs, turning to walk away-

“H-hey! Don’t leave me here! I literally can‘t lift my arms to take your hand- ah.”

And like that, Rann picks me up by my underarms and slings me over his shoulder. At least I don’t have a bag over my head this time.

Rann carries me back into the library, up the stairs and onto the first floor, slumping me over in a chair across the table from the Chief, who just raises an eyebrow at Rann.

“We can work with it.” Rann nods, before heading back down the stairs.

The Chief returns to looking over her papers, leaving me to stew in indignation for a long while. Her staff rests by her side against the table.

“What did we learn today?” She finally asks.

“That Rann’s a dick.”

“And?” She asks.

“He kicked my ass.”

“And?” She asks again, sounding a little annoyed.

“... I need to be able to fight if I’m going to survive here.”

“Yes.” She says, stacking up the papers in front of her and putting them aside before continuing,

“Everybody here has to learn how to fight, even if it’s just pointing a spear the right way. Haven is well hidden and well defended, but we’re not the largest group down here and large predatory beasts can and have gotten through the palisades before. You have sword-wings and sword training, Marina. Logistically, every person here is an asset, and when it comes to combat, you’re an invaluable one. Rann in particular will likely be needing your help, probably not on the Expedition Team but certainly for our next hunt, so expect more training sessions with him in the coming weeks. Rann’s the best warrior Haven has to offer.”

“More beat-up sessions, yaaay…”

“I’ll tell Rann to go easier on you next time… It was hard to work while hearing you cursing and yelling in pain for the past four hours.” Chief sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“Do I have any other tasks today, o mighty Chief?”

“Yes. Cut the sass and go wash up.” Oh, it’s so cute how she berates you while expressing her concern for you.

“I’d love to, but my arms, legs, and wings have all been battered beyond repair and I cannot move. Please, dear Chief, carry me to the baths and wash my broken body…”

Chief picks up her staff, scowling.

“If it’s a broken body you want…” She growls.

“A-alright, alright, just give me a bit, don’t… don’t actually break anything please…”

I get to my feet, staggering my way over to the stairs in a lot of pain. I look back at the Chief… who’s still pointing her staff at me, okay, down the stairs and down to the pools I go. I should probably grab a change of clothes, but I’m already tracking mud through the library so I should just get out of here as quickly and directly as possible…

“Oi.”

I stop, going to turn around before an arm wraps around my waist and the Chief drapes my arm over her shoulders, helping me towards the door.

“When we get back you’re cleaning the mud you tracked across my floors, understand?” She says, looking forward as we walk.

“Understood.” I smile.