Life is nothing but a chain of meaningless events.
Any impact caused by an individual is either an accident or a coincidence.
Nix of Markav, Philosopher
*
Arthur’s mind is lost in abstract thoughts. Despite staying still, he feels his body travel fast, going through turbulent waters. The memory of the storm that brought him to this world makes his heart race.
When he opens his eyes, he is no longer in Fiandel.
“Where am I?” He wonders, trying to identify something, but in vain. The only thing he sees is water. There is water everywhere. He realizes that he is inside the sea and, although he does not know how to swim, his body remains below the surface level, without sinking despite his uncoordinated movements.
“I need to wake up.” He deduces, trying to open the eyes of his ‘real body’. However, nothing happens. It is like a dream that he cannot end with just willpower. His eyes open even more under the water and this only serves to make the darkness of the ocean more frightening.
The questions that Galaaz asked before Arthur woke up in that place continues to echo in his mind. “Where are you going?” “What do you want to do with your life?” “What is important to you?”. Such questions, asked in succession and remembered by his desperate mind, seem to stabilize his body and, little by little, lift him above the darkness of the deep sea at his feet.
Eventually, his chest rises above the waves, and he notices that his feet are supported by a structure that rises inside the water. It is the wood of a boat, which appears out of nowhere and shelters him in the midst of the storm and the waves that propel him towards the unknown.
-So… This is where I should be? – He asks aloud, hoping that Galaaz can hear him from wherever he is. – I should be back to this place, to the day when I was lost as never before in my entire life?
A lightning appears a few meters ahead and, although he is convinced that all this is but an illusion, the sound of the thunder and the light of the lightning is enough to deeply frighten him. After all, was it really impossible that he had been transported to that place? Among all the craziness he has experienced recently, what prevented him from going back in time, to that night when he arrived by boat in this world?
At this point, there was a real chance that he was actually transported back to that nightmare.
-What should I do here? – He asks, looking for any sign of what to do. After all, the questions are still ringing in his head, getting louder and louder. For him, it is almost like a dialogue.
-You need to understand the path you want to follow. The way you want to go. – The voice is that of Galaaz, but he cannot be seen anywhere.
-I need to choose a path? There is no path to follow from here!
The lupine does not answer. Arthur clings to his boat, fearing he will return to the waters that, with their strong waves, shakes the vessel. The storm strikes the boy’s skin like nails falling from the sky. Lightnings illuminates the surroundings and the horizon. They revel silhouettes of huge sea creatures at the distance. At some point, he suspects seeing the figure of a giant tortoise moving huge waves far away from where he is.
-There is no place for me to go! Can’t you see? Everything here is death! – He points to the distant silhouette. – In and out of the water, anything can kill me!
-You need to understand what you want to do with the life you’ve been given.
-I just want to keep it! Is it too much to ask? To live? Is it not enough? – He screams, not caring about the ridicule of his own condition.
The world does not want to wait for him to understand what is happening. The rain keeps falling hard on his body. The waves keep moving with speed and strength. The boat threatens to capsize and the boy needs to sit on it, grabbing the sides of the small vessel.
A familiar sensation runs through his body. A shiver that he remembers feeling back at the first time he was in the same situation. And even before his brain understood which moment was getting closer, his body started reacting to it. When Arthur turns his body, he immediately understands what was coming.
One large figure emerges from the water. There it was again: The big whale, which stood beside the small boat. The same one that had thrown him away and sunk his boat last time.
A big beast in a big body, emerging between the waters. It is not the first, nor the second time that he is faced with a situation like this.
-You need to understand what matters to you.
-Didn’t I tell you already? My life! That is all that matters to me! I want to preserve my life. I want to live.
Although he answers the question with as much conviction as he can, he knows that the truth is different. Arthur, despite talking about living, knows that there is more. He could not just “live”. After all, before coming to this place, “to live” was not enough.
He needed something more.
And, when he sees the big whale rising over the water, he tries to understand what he is feeling. What is that sensation in his heart that makes the big monster not just a threat. That whale is not just scaring him. No. There is something else.
-Where do you want to go? Is the question that Galaaz asks and, for the first time, Arthur cannot think of an immediate answer.
His mind finally finds a way out of cloudy thoughts and uncertainty. Reasoning runs down a road that opens between the weak resolutions of the past.
-What do you want to do? – The wolf asks and Arthur knows the answer for this one. The only answer that truly conveys the complexity of feelings in him.
-I want to stay here. – He says, his eyes full of admiration fixed on the image of the big whale that, instead of throwing the small boat away, remains as it is. The waters do not rise and the animal does not move, as if waiting for something.
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
Impressed by the grandeur of such a creature, he reaches with his palm towards her. The rain seems to be decreasing and the sky is not so dark anymore.
-I know it is just an illusion, but... – A thought that had been dead a long time ago, in a corner of his mind, seems to be reborn. – I want to meet more creatures like this one. I want to see wonderful things. I want to help them and live among them.
The boy approaches and the animal does not react. In silence, the sky and the waters await the boy’s steps on the boat. A silent agreement was made to interrupt the chaos while the young man finds his own order.
He reaches out, touching the whale’s body. When he does that, the sea disappears. Suddenly, there is no more rain, sea, boat or whale. In an instant, he is transported to a beach on which he has been in the past.
And, despite the abrupt change, it seems natural to his mind, although he could not explain the phenomenon. Still, a moment ago he was in the rough sea, with death everywhere and nowhere to go. Now, he is on the beach, admiring the waves and the rising sun on the horizon. He sees the landscape and admires the calm of a splendid scenery.
His body stands on sand, with a great and beautiful forest to his right, the sea in front of him and a large beach on his left. The daytime breeze cools the body and the sun makes him smile involuntarily.
That was what he wanted when he said goodbye to his parents. That was what he wanted to live, see and feel. It was for places like this that he wanted to leave his home. He remembers the day he promised himself that he would not throw away his life. That he would REALLY live.
But, if that was what he wanted, then what was all the suffering he had been through so far? Why had he felt so much pain and anguish? Was it the fear of death? The anticipation of something that, until now, has not materialized?
-What is important to you? – Galaaz’s voice come back to his mind.
Arthur knows why he came to this world. It is the first time that certainty comes to mind and some kind of peace comes to the heart.
-You were the one who brought yourself to this place. – Arthur is not the one talking. The thought in his mind was said by someone behind his back. Someone with a familiar voice.
-It is impossible to be sure of that. – He says to Akemi, without stop looking to the horizon. The incorporeal walks next to him and looks in the same direction.
-But you feel it, don’t you?
He felt it.
-I wanted more. – He says. – The night I came here, I wanted more than just waking up and feeling things through my five senses. I wanted to feel something that I had forgot how to feel. I knew I had forgotten how to live. And that was-
-That is what you were about to look for. – She looks at his eyes with intensity, as if she could read his mind. – You know, don’t you? You know that despite everything that has happened and everything that will happen, you have found what you were looking for.
-Maybe. – He shrugs. – There is still a part of me that feels that it has not found everything. That there is much more to discover. But still. If I have to discover things, did it have to be through so much pain and suffering?
Akemi turns to him with a half-smile on her face. He turns to her.
-You wished for something too precious. – She seems to shine in the light of the rising sun. There is some kind of mystery about her that Arthur had not been able to unveil since the first time they met on that same beach. – Something that very few are able to desire and even fewer people are able to obtain. Being something so extraordinary, it was obviously going to be the most difficult thing in the world to achieve. Do you want to live? Then, you need to survive the pain, suffering and prejudice.
She gets closer to him and continues.
-You need to go over the obstacles. You need to fall and get up again. The situation seems impossible? Good. It is a sign that you are on the right path. You are living. Find joy on the way and hold on to what matters to you. And move on. When someone tries to move you from the path you have chosen, you must plant your feet on the ground and become the most resilient of the trees. When someone tries to stop your journey, you must become the most unstoppable of the trains. Protect what is important to you, because it will give you the strength to defeat the challenges along the way. And when you feel the weight of your choices, you need to remember that you are not alone. Or have you already forgotten who was your first ally in this world?
-I… I remember. I remember the moment I woke up on this same beach and saw a light floating above my head. The first person to offer me the hand.
She raises her hand and caresses his face.
-See? Not everything is so terrible. Good things can happen along the way.
He nods.
-Yes… There are also things that are worth fighting for.
-It is easier to answer now? Can you tell me where are you going?
-I’ll find a place that makes me feel alive. Where I feel like I have a purpose. Where wonderful things happen and I can do something that matters.
-It will be a difficult task.
-But that’s what I want to do with the life I have.
-I see… Are you prepared for the pain? The suffering? The difficulties that will be on your way?
Were it not for Akemi’s face right in front of him, he would probably hesitate. However, there she was. With the answer to the question that has not yet been asked.
-It does not matter what I think. I need to get past them. Right?
-You don’t need my confirmation, Arthur. You don’t need me to know what you want.
-I don’t know if I’ll make it, but it doesn’t matter. It was not for a guarantee that I came here. – He keeps talking. She is close. Too close. – I wanted the opportunity to try. And that is what I am going to do. It doesn’t matter if there are prophecies saying that I will be the one to cause a catastrophe or if the whole world will try to make me do something. I have allies. More importantly, I have people willing to fight for my life and, in return, they only ask me to do the same.
-I am confused. – Her tone is playful. – A moment ago, you seemed so sure that your priority was your own survival. What has changed?
-I found something more important. – He does not use the same tone as her. – Something I’m going to bet my life on to conquer.
One minute of silence. Eye to eye. The sun rises behind the calm waves.
-Excellent. Do you know what that means? – She doesn’t wait for an answer. – That you are no longer a lost boy. You know what you have to do, where you have to go and what you need to protect along the way.
-Thank you for the help.
-Arthur… You may need my help, but not this time. Don’t you see? – She puts her finger against his nose. – You can find your way without my help.
She presses her finger against his nose and Arthur blinks. When he opens his eyes, he finds himself sitting, alone, in the small space behind Rinlia’s house in Fiandel.
-I… - He hesitates before remembering what he was doing a few hours ago. – Galaaz? Are you here?
-Oh, you came back. – The wolf is behind Arthur. He had been sleeping while the other went through the ritual. – It took longer than I expected.
-What can I say? I needed to organize my thoughts.
The wolf’s gaze is inquisitive. He walks slowly, surrounding the boy’s body.
-And...? Did you find your answers?
Arthur takes a deep breath and smiles.
-You will have to be patient with me, because if you are going to follow me, I have bad news: From now on, things are probably going to get worse.
Galaaz raises his snout and shows his teeth.
-I didn’t expect to be any other way.
*
*