Patent Violations

“Why are there so many Super Intelligent supervillains, when creating and selling patents could be so much more profitable than crime?”

“Because you may be able to turn a Ford Festiva into a rocket, but that doesn’t mean you can fill out bureaucratic paperwork without holding the city hostage.”

“You mean WANTING to hold the city hostage right?”

“Keep thinking that kid, it’s cute.”

Silver Paladin talking at ESAS school

“True, and the Boss said she’d look at letting me build a mech for Slaughter in the Sands once winter is over.” Everyone else called Ms. Summers Boss, and Grayson decided that sounded better than Ms. Summers.

“Oh, that will be a team project. And we’ll decide on a pilot as we work. No offense, but your piloting record isn’t as good as your build record.” Levi said

“I’m not that bad; I’ve just never gotten all the Systems properly warmed up!”

The older mechanic chuckled,“Yeah. See, that’s called spin up and pilots literally know not to take off till it’s done. You’ll learn about that in flight school.”

Grayson puffed his cheeks at the insult to his driving,but he was looking forward to pilot school, so he let it go. “Those simulators the boss bought yesterday should help with that.” he said, licking his lips as Anzy unpacked small apple tart hand pies for everyone.”

“Yep. But Erica is the best driver. She cheats. She sees the future.” Anzy said.

“A few moments! Maybe like 10 seconds.”

“She also has enhanced reflexes.” Anzy added with a grin

“Very limited.”

“Honestly, we’ll want to do smaller projects and competitions between now and then. Anyhow it may take a year or two to get something really worthy of Slaughter, and those you can get cockpit time.” Elenore said. “I am to remind you, none of them are for northern expeditions geared towards family reunions.”

“The Boss made it clear it was open season on my ass if I try to help dad.” Grayson said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, we’d kick your ass quietly at least once first.” Levi shrugged, getting punched by Erica. “What, we would! I mean, it is his dad. I mean, I’d urge you to NOT to, cause that would end with him in one of the UN Hyper prisons. Canadian Medium Security is way better than that.”

Grayson hunched over his apple pie. “My dad isn’t that bad. Boss said after she’s done with Kriegsmarine’s visit she’s going to go up and see him.”

“Yeah, she will, she’ll wanna make sure your dad knows the score. And I didn’t say he’s that bad. I’m saying Supes who escape tend to get fast tracked to underwater prisons. Just a fact, dude. Not a judgement.”

“Things just got out of hand with his last heist. He’s been good, He’s supposed to be released in about 3 years.”

“Then no need to bust him out. He’s a meta, he’s got lots of years after that, and by then you’ll be rolling in the dough cause come on dumbass, you have a brain to make bank, without breaking bad.” Badger said.

Grayson Looked confused, “what are you talking about? It costs every dollar I can find to put anything together.”

“Ah, first, we explain the joys of YouTube to this poor noob.” Badger says formally

“Then we teach him the joy of ‘Filing Patents’ and ‘Toymaking 101’.” Elenore added

“Huh?” he looked at all the others. “Most stuff isn’t patentable, cause you can’t explain how it works unless you are like a super competent catalyst.”

“Unless you have catalysts lying around or, in your dumb ass case, have a high catalyst rating already. The fact you can duplicate the basic designs you use suggests you are a breakthrough catalyst, with just enough kitbash to make just about any stupid idea least sorta work. I’m a mix of the three too.” Badger said.

“Then you got Levi here, who's a baby catalyst, and Penny’s a way more than baby catalyst, if not scary good.”

“I’m not a catalyst, I’m a breakthrough-kitbash, like my dad.” he brushed crumbs off his pants. “I’ve tried to submit patents before for some of my Hydro cannons. they always get denied.”

“Yeah? Can I see your designs?” Badger asked. “I had similar problems. It may be as simple as not looking up the ‘official’ words for components that already exist.”

“Badger has a habit of listing cables as ‘lightning hoses’ on drawings.”

“I don’t do that on ‘official’ documents.” Badger said, watching as Grayson worked on his new phone to get to his paperwork.

“Here is my variable water pressure valve. I was really proud of it. It was before mom got remarried so she helped me get it submitted.”

“Your formatting is off.” Badger pointed. “Common mistakes, not even your mother’s fault.

“That's why there’s lawyers to handle it.” Elenore said. “I’ve done four for this place already, after they designed a new front suspension system design. Remember, with bureaucracies they don’t care if it's right, they just care if it is in the right form, in the right font.”

“Yeah, this seems clear. Let me see if I can build one.” Levi said, sending himself a copy. “I think we have the parts we need.”

“If it’s built right, you should be able to set the water pressure from ,water delicate orchids, to cut through steel. I thought it would be good for Firefighter work. I designed it when I was twelve.”

“Thus, the backpack. makes sense. Cool.” Levi and Badger started grabbing components and raw sheet metal to start working.

“Well, there goes working on the active project for a while.” Elenore chuckled.

Talia looked curiously at the design. “I think this makes sense. It’s really quite clever, A water laser kind of thing is cool!”

“Actually, not an uncommon tech, but this level of compactness and power efficiency is pretty cutting edge, pun not intended.” Kar1n stated. “Based on the schematics, I estimate it will take four hours for them to complete the project. Then a 97.2% chance they will destroy something by accident. I shall move the two cuties and the useful hulk out of the shop now.”

Grayson blinked. “No one has made any of my stuff before.” He watched with big eyes. “You really think I could make money?”

Elenore looked up from searching for information on his previously destroyed mechs. “A super villain stole and rebuilt several of the weapons from your first mech. You don’t fix bashed-tech.”

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Badger spoke up from where he was welding something. “And you can definitely make money, though don’t get me wrong it might not be a lot. It depends on the general utility of the thing. I’ve sold a few patents, one I got fifty grand out of, another I made six digits. That let me build a sweet shop, man.”

“The one that burnt down?”

“Oh, insurance. Also, get insurance.”

Grayson nodded and stood; He offered Talia a hand up. “I’ll go back to working on the tank, let me know if you have any questions.” he wanted to have something to keep his hands busy while he thought.

Anzy looked at Elenore, “What Brain his age doesn’t have a couple of registered Patents by now? Yeah, the paperworks a bitch, but still?”

Elenore nodded. “Hey Erica, do you think you can use some of those comp skills to see how many patents he’s been denied?”

“I can investigate it. I’ll need you to translate the crap I’m reading.”

“I figure Anzy and I can look over stuff. His dad’s a supervillain, so it’s possible he did something to the kid’s patents.”

“That’d be my guess. Or the kid’s mother is a moron and he just sucks at paperwork. Not the newest issue in the world. Let me get a list of his attempts and we’ll go look.”

“Just want to cover our bases.” Anzy said. “And to celebrate our new younger members I am having a barbecue. I have some ribs and briskets going low and slow, as well as hamburgers. This me needs to pick up some Dr. Pepper since it’s Talia’s favorite and we don’t have any at the house.”

“Sounds tasty. Get some more red bull, too. I have a feeling dino-boy is a fan.” El added.

Erica looked over to Levi and Badger, “All inventor types pound the energy drinks.”

“Can do.” Anzy said.

“This valve is pretty clever.” Levi said. as he continued working.

“We need to teach him to do hose and exhaust installs though. Some of this piping seems extraneous.” Badger noted.

“He said this was when he was 12 right? He probably would do it differently now.”

“Still, its good experience.”

The kids worked quietly for a couple of hours while Levi and Badger worked on the water valve and Talia worked on taking apart another car.

“El, this is bad.” Erica said, leaning back, glaring at the screen. “If the kid goes Godzilla over this, I’m for telling the boss he’s not overreacting.”

“What are you seeing?” Elenore said, walking over to look. “Did the dad jack his stuff like Anzy was thinking?”

“Before the age of eight, yeah. Three patents, though I’m only able to track the money on the earliest. The other two dump into the Caymen’s. His Underhydrochopper and Tyranadon Tyre. The second of which we totally need to put on the chargers, by the way. I’ll explain later, and a compact water pulse jet thing he called the rex screamer which I’m thinking about replacing the bow thrusters on the yacht with if we can adjust the design.”

Kids need to learn non embarrassing ways to name things. I get having a shtick but damn.” Elenore shook her head.

“The Hydrocutter is the only one that was sold on license, and it’s a trickle, not a flood. The Real Egregious stuff is after he ended up in jail. Mom however has four things she’s patented and just sold off whole hog. A joint actuator now used in several dozen mecha suit models, and some heavy construction equipment in the fully scaled up form. A shock absorber design he uses in the legs, a software pack which is a copywrite not a patent but I followed it, and his Tyrannosaur Tsunami weapon, which at full scale caused cat 2 hurricane level swells around it, and scaled down freaking Disney put into a water park attraction recently.”

“Shit. She stole DISNEY level money. I’d be pissed.” Elenore said, shaking her head. “So, we are going to need Patent Lawyers and a copyright lawyer. This is going to be fun. corporate cases are a pain in the ass.”

“We are... and, I hate to say this, but she didn’t steal Disney level money. She sold at bargain basement prices.”

“Wow...that is somehow worse, she robbed him and then didn’t even get paid well, she dumped him on the system when he was what thirteen, Are any of the patents from after that? Cause if she was ‘helping’ him with patents after she dumped him in foster care that is a special kind of evil.”

“Two of them.” Erica confirmed. We are going to need a team in two countries cause Canada. Do you want to call the boss? I am not kidding about kaiju worthy rage here. “

Yeah, since Grayson is a minor, she’s going to need to sign off on things, and inform his case worker. Wow…his parents are really trash.”

“I am betting His dad is seeing Summer early. “

Elenore chuckled as she dialed Solaris.

“Hello dear, how are the kids settling in?”

“Great. Talia’s stripping a car, Gray is helping with tank electronics, we confirmed his designs are duplicatable. Annnd and we need two teams of patent lawyers for lawsuits in two countries, as a related note. “

“Penny, can you get me the good whiskey.” Solaris called. “Who am I sicking lawyers on, why, and how angry am I going to be

“Our kid kaiju is not good at paperwork. Particularly patent filing. His parents were better at it but neglected to put his name down. “

“Right. So, both of them are bastards. I’ll call the lawyers and the caseworkers. I really don’t have a lot of time right now to fly up to Canada, to kick his dad’s arse”. She looked at the stack of interviews and parties and party planning papers on her desk. “Okay I’ll talk to people, can you ask Gray to come see me when work is over I’ll need to let him know what the lawyers say, and can you send me what data you have?”

“We will send that to your email. And bring paper copies home as well. “It wasn’t that the older woman couldn’t use email, but it could frustrate her.

“Thank you dear. Oh… I should also call Louise. Once we get this sorted out, he’s going to need an accountant.”

“And a publicist once this breaks. I mean super genius delinquent robbed by villain father?”

“Right, I’ll also message Zakai. Dang it… I forgot I need to let him know about Grayson, everything happened so fast. I thought it would all take more time.”

“I should have considered it as well. But I can correct that for the future.”

“Talk to you later.” She looked at Erica. “Forward all that to Solaris if you could. I need to email ESAS and get some balls rolling. “

There was a gleeful sound from downstairs. Elenore stiffened “Oh, lord…what did they destroy.”

“I will go check. Make your calls. “

Erica walked down the stairs, and into the shop. Everything was wet, and the hulk Badger kept forgetting to work on new dents. “What happened.”

“Hehe, we finished the valve! We put it on half strength, it hit like a police water cannon!

“Follow up question. “ Z, who had just arrivedasked. “Why is there a hole under Badger’s car?”

Badger bit his lip. “Uh.” Talia looked down the hole.

“I see a suitcase down there.”

“Badger, did you dig a den? You know you aren’t actually a badger, right? Levi asked.

“Well yeah. But it’s comfy. And I don’t have to worry about neighbors. Or HOAs with pet policies.”

Erica turned a bit red. “We own an apartment building. We can give you one!”

“I didn’t want to impose, y’all have been really great to me,”

“Badger, you Bugs Bunnied our floor. El is going to kill you!”Levi ran his hands through his hair

“I am not going to kill him but I am happy to know where he have been living however.” Elenore said, tapping her foot. having come down the stairs to assuage her own curiosity at what had been destroyed.

Badger looked ready to drop into his hole and hide. “” El, I swear my hole is sound, it’s even really pretty, it’s…. your favorite colors, blue and purple.”

She stared at him. Tapped her foot. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to find a way to move the entrance to NOT in the middle of a work bay. You’re going to fix the floor there, ask Kar1n how, I’m sure she knows, and I’ll let it be, but Badger... you owe me. Got it?”

“He jumped in his whole then came back out with a blue violet crystal Lilly. So… this is a bad time to ask you out?”

She raised an eyebrow and considered him, before taking the flower, “Someplace that requires a suit. Next Saturday, at eight o’clock. Kar1n, make sure he remembers and is presentable.”

“Yes Elenore, I’ll make sure my boy is ready.”

Talia and Grayson were giggling, as a big dopey grin went over Badger's face. I’ll find a great place to take you too!”

“Good. I look forward to it.” she was blushing slightly but elegantly turned and returned to the offices part of the building.

“Congratulations. You didn’t get fed to a cat and got a date! Impressive.” Levi nodded.

“I’ve been trying to get the nerve up to ask her for weeks.” He admitted. Sitting on the hook of this abandoned project hulk. “Anzy, can you help me figure out a good place to take her?

“Sure, but you know you pretty much have a week to fix the hole, right?” The chef chuckled.

“And seriously man, do you always live in a subterranean den? is this a thing with you we didn’t know?”

“I’ve just had a lot of bad luck with housing, A lot of places don’t allow ‘robotic pets’ and HOAs are just Evil. I’ve lost so much money to fines. I finally gave up, and bought my Momma a house of her own, and started living at my shop.”

“Right but going hibernating xenomorph is a bit dramatic.”Levi said patting his shoulder

“It works, and I know it’s dumb, but I made this one extra pretty for El.”

“Yeah, that’s unusual. Where did the crystals come from?”

Z shook her head. “That, and I want to know, is it just like a nest, or do you have furniture and stuff down there? I mean, I have so many questions.”

“I grew them, it’s a modified salt crystal.” And there is some furniture, A little nest to sleep in, a table, minifridge, hotplate. It’s like a small efficiency.”

Zoya shook her head. “Well, he’s industrious. And it cuts down on a morning commute.”

“Yeah. commute.” Erica frowned at him, giving Badger a dark look, before shaking her head. She turned back to Talia and Gray. “Let’s get back to work, while these guys clean up their mess.”

Badger looked at Levi, “How’d I piss Erica off.”

“Yeah, we’ll assume she’s just being suspicious and not talk about it further.” Levi said, shaking his head. “If you don’t know, you don’t need to know.” What happened between two adults after everyone else went home was between them and the back seat of a Charger, after all.