There was the standard messages about how he had performed exceptionally, achieved a great feat, and would be rewarded generously for it. Gaining what were labelled as ‘Bronze’, ‘Gold’, and ‘Divine’ level Chests. One thing about them was a bit weird.

It seemed like he could ‘sacrifice’ something as a key.

He checked his stats again.

[Characteristics:

—Positive Trait: Creative Applier

—Negative Trait: Scatterbrained Learner

—Learned Skills: Street Mixed Martial Arts (Expert), Material Crafting (Basic), Exorcism (Crude), Material Dismantling (Basic)

—Innate Skills: Mana Sense (Basic), Mana Control (Basic)

—Innate Gifts: None]

[Statistics:

—Strength Tier= D (Enhanced Human)

—Agility Tier= F (Human)

—Speed Tier= F (Human)

—Defence Tier= F (Human)

—Magic Tier= Rankless (Unawakened)]

His skills hadn’t changed. This didn’t seem to be the type of blessing that would easily grant him skills like they grew on trees. Despite all his efforts, he did not attain a realm beyond that of an ‘Expert’. It was his limit. Being unable to go past that talent barrier.

Maybe he was missing systematic training for it.

The victory earlier wasn’t earned through learning new knowledge. He had simply used the skills he had more creatively over the many loops. When he found the perfect combination of moves that way, he acted more on reflex rather than improving his technique.

He found the reason for it was due to ‘imbalance’.

That, and a lack of resonance towards his own self.

Ben was not a fighter. Having exceptional strength was not important as an exorcist. Apparitions would not have more damage dealt to them if you swung a holy weapon at them harder. The reason why this force focused on strength so much was beyond him.

Only knowing that their cooperation would end up being helpful in the future. After all, the military of Dawn City likely had a lot of assets. Having the oh-so-respected commander hear him out would give an advantage for the future. This had really excited him.

There was so much he could do now.

Being part of a group.

No longer a rogue exorcist.

He’d change them to suit his needs.

There was a limit to what people could achieve by themselves. Humans may be good at mimicking each other, but communication was also important. It was the reason they could surpass the limits of what they could achieve individually. He really believed in this.

Despite that, he couldn’t speak as freely as before.

Especially when his friend was getting too familiar.

“This is a tasteless joke.” Rina set the mood straight.

Her arms were crossed.

“I don’t know what you’re getting at.” Ben turned his gaze away. She was trying her best to force a level of understanding between them, but the change in his appearance and attitude was too much. There was a level of maturity in his eyes unlike a high schooler.

They had both grown up…

“What happened to you? If there’s anything on your mind, you can talk to me. This isn’t about me. I just feel like you’re holding back too much.” Her words were spot on. Anyone could tell that he was acting more reserved than usual if they knew his past.

“I literally can’t say it.” Ben told her plainly.

“What does that mean?” She raised her brow.

“I literally can’t tell you.” He said it the same way as before. Crossing his fingers in front of his mouth while feeling like he was being watched. There was this existential fear of losing his system and having to accept THIS as his reality. He was too emotional.

“I’m trash.” Ben cussed in his heart.

Even though his original goal of saving her had been achieved, he was not satisfied. Maybe it was because all his preparations and resolutions were useless in the end. He’d like to call it a ‘complex feeling’, but he knew this was just him being unable to accept it.

She would’ve lived longer if they weren’t friends.

Her presence here proved it.

Still, he could not let go of the current Rina. She’d never know how much he yearned to converse with her again. To see her happy. Her ghost had been haunting him for so long that he naturally lowered his head in her presence. Becoming a little timid.

His silence wasn’t appreciated.

“…If it’s a secret, then you can’t hide it from me after all that happened. I’m part of that too. You can’t just have me act like everything is fine. Five years. You were missing for five whole years!” Rina’s words had the weight of time within them. It was too heavy.

The entire reason he could barely make eye-contact.

He’d been throwing his head down and trying to learn ‘Material Crafting’ in an inefficient way over the years. What did he gain from throwing away all that time in prison? A simple rank up to having learnt the basics of it? All of this was his own hubris.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

He had truly wasted away his life for nothing.

“I’m scum.” These words were ringing in his head.

He’d left his friend hanging. Worried his parents for nothing. Ended relationships that could’ve been nurtured. He thought this was a selfless sacrifice, but reality showed he acted on impulse. Five years were wasted on an endeavour easier than he thought.

The detestable fate of the world made a joke of him.

Showing him his own pathetic secretly mindset.

“I’m sorry.” Ben could only apologise. He had no excuse for what he did. Truly and sincerely. If her life was in danger, he should’ve helped her without this prison nonsense. He shouldn’t have given up and stayed here. Thinking this loop had ‘failed’.

“Don’t be. We’re friends, so I need you to explain what happened to you. Talk.” Rina gave him the chance to make amends. If he was willing to let go of his ability to turn back time, then he could probably live in the present. Not have to worry about it again.

“…I’m sorry.” He simply couldn’t let his power go.

Clinging to the hope of a ‘perfect reality’.

Should he restart now? He could fall asleep tonight and fix things. Find out how her relationship with him had screwed her over. He was mature now. It’d be easier for him to find his own inadequacies. The start was rough because of an accident, but this time he would act perfectly and not cause a scene. He’d let things play out as usual and return to that hospital.

He’d never ‘give up’ on a loop again.

“How contradictory.” Ben realised hypocrisy in that thought. Berating his nature inwardly. It was this lack of self-awareness that caused this. Would he discard his current future for another one? It felt like what the shadow of his former self said was right.

This was not moving forward.

It was endlessly being trapped by his ability.

Giving up too early.

Lacking resolve yet still buttering himself up.

“That’s fine. Just don’t think we can be as close as we were in the past. I won’t hate you… but it DOES make me feel bad.” Rina had no idea how thankful he was she didn’t hold a grudge. Forget resolve. He’d rather die than be on the other end of her anger.

As for feeling bad. Well, that couldn’t be helped.

“Thank you.” Ben smiled beautifully at her.

“So… Yeah… Take good care of yourself.” Just as she was about to leave, the slim yet unusually strong hand of her friend stopped her. Turning her head to see that he wasn’t in a good state right now. There were red veins pulsing on the white of his eyes.

That smile couldn’t fool her.

“Wait.” This oddly feminine voice begged of her.

How could she ignore him?

“What?” Rina reluctantly sat down.

Hearing him out wasn’t the problem here. She could sense an insurmountable gap between them. Feeling like they were two worlds apart. Split by whatever mysterious power that ruined his life. It made her vow to vanquish it if this was done by an Apparition.

“Let’s talk. It’s been a long time.” Ben kept his smile.

Having no idea how unnatural it looked on his face.

“What’s there to talk about?” Though she sat back down, Rina didn’t act too close. She didn’t want him to get the impression that he could do this lunacy again and get away with it. A little bit of coldness should do the trick. Even if it wasn’t all that severe.

“I’m curious if you ever became a rapper.”

“I gave up on having dreams. I just don’t have the time to live as a normal person anymore. I guess that isn’t any different from you, right?” Rina watched his every reaction. Seeing that he was trying to hold back his remorseful look after the latter statement.

Then shifted back to his usual attitude.

“I’ve always dreamed of being a sexy chick in a female prison. There were a lot of boobies for me to behold.” Ben was gross as always. She didn’t find the joke all that amusing. Especially when the person himself seemed to not care about his own humour.

She leaned her head back to look down on him.

“Eww… Idiot, I didn’t ask.” Her eyes were cold.

“Everything can’t be all bad, right? I found the good part of my current life. I’m sure you did too.” These words came out so naturally from Ben. It was to the point she became inclined to believe him. Thinking that her previous assumptions might’ve been wrong.

That look he had now didn’t seem to be fake.

Did he move on?

There was no longer a depressed look in his eyes.

Only curiosity towards her present.

“If we’re talking about that, then I made some good friends in the years. At least better than you.” Rina didn’t forget to give him a jab at the end. Enjoying the face he made in response. It made her feel like everything went back to what it was in the old days.

When he wasn’t a criminal.

When she wasn’t a cat-like Magical Girl.

“Ouch! That hurts~ Haven’t I always been a good time? You can’t say I’m boring.” Ben wasn’t wrong about that. If anything, one could say that it would be better on everyone else if he was. At least that way they could’ve continued their ordinary lives together.

“I would’ve liked a life when ‘exciting’ meant hearing that someone’s favourite show got a new season. Not having to risk my life everyday.” These were just some annoyances she never got to talk about. Rina didn’t think mentioning it would mean much now.

“Right… Didn’t they call you a Special Agent?” There was no change in his happy-go-lucky demeanour. It was a refreshing change of pace. The soldiers here either looked at her funny or didn’t know how to hold up a conversation. She missed this atmosphere.

One where she could speak freely without a care.

Still…

“You don’t seem surprised.” Rina narrowed her eyes.

“Haha… Err… That… Err…” Ben scratched his head.

“You and your humour.” She felt he was messing with her again. Pretending he wasn’t shocked while hiding his real reaction. There was no one who’d see her eyes for the first time and act natural. At the very least, people would ask if she was wearing contacts.

She sighed at his lack of integrity.

Trying to act all mysterious.

“If you could go back and live your life the way you intended, would you have avoided Apparitions?” A big question was suddenly dropped on her. Instead of asking why he wanted to know, she humoured this thought. Seriously thinking about her answer.

“Probably not.” She shook her head.

“That was a fast response.” Ben had almost coughed.

“I didn’t really have to think about it. Do you see me as someone who would leave a person to die? These eyes are a bother, but they helped me a lot.” Rina felt proud of herself. Raising her shoulders and having pride in having sacrificed her dreams for this.

“Sounds hard to be you.” Ben lowered his head.

“Not that being you is any better. At least, I wouldn’t have given up on everything so easily.” Rina didn’t believe that he could do NOTHING these five years to contact them. Her team was in charge of watching him. The files on his everyday life was accessible.

“Given up?” He didn’t seem to understand.

“I don’t know what happened, but you should’ve tried phoning your parents at least once. They are still looking for you even now. You have a little sister as well.” Rina hadn’t broken off contact with his parents over the years. They had become quite close.

His sister was cute too.

Adorable.

“I HAVE A SISTER?!” Ben jumped to his feet.

Grabbing her by the shoulders.

“You seriously didn’t know?” Rina couldn’t help wanting to smack this fool. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’d likely die if she did, she would’ve given him a beating herself. His little sister had been growing up without ever having known she had a big brother.

“Maybe that’s for the best.” She thought after having been hit by reality. The current him wasn’t easy to explain away. Should he be called ‘Big Sister’? How was anyone supposed to explain Ben to a five year old? Most likely, it would just end up in confusion.

“Sorry. I was chilling here without a thought.”

“Why are you apologising so much right now? It isn’t like you. Besides that, I’m glad you are the same as before. I’ll try to give you a chance to meet them, but it won’t work right now. We’re going to have to wait until the commander wakes up.” Rina felt it was fine.

At least he wasn’t suffering needlessly for years.

“I’ll wait until then.” Ben didn’t try anything.

He patiently wanted instead of acting crazy again.

Hopefully, that’d be the case in the future too.

“You better. Don’t disappear on me again.” Rina had her eyes on him this time. Whether he changed his appearance or escape this place, she’d make sure he reunited with his family. A promise was made, and she intended to keep it. Nothing could stop her.

“Bro, I’m never going to do THAT again. We’re in this together forever. Friends until the end.” Ben assured her this time. Waving her goodbye as she got to the door. It was cheesy lines, but it also felt like he was serious about not going to prison again at least.

“Now that’s more like it. See ya.” She smiled at him.

Rina was in a good mood while leaving. There was no way she would’ve known that her words would impact him deeply. Those rewards that could be enhanced by sacrificing certain things… They were much more critical to his future than anything else.

Bronze Chest was resetting his Strength Tier.

Gold Chest was forgoing any ‘Dropped Items’.

A staple of video games after beating an enemy.

Divine Chest? It asked for something much more.

He initially wasn’t so enthusiastic of such a sacrifice at all. Regardless of the benefits, what he’d lose was much more crucial. One could say that discarding it was akin to self-harm. There no way he could throw away something so important towards his future.

The conversation he just had with Rina replayed again and again in his head. He didn’t want to mess with her life through these loops. There was a certain level of respect he had to give his friend. Even if she wouldn’t know, that didn’t mean his acts were okay.

This loop had at least taught him that much. He had to be responsible for his own actions to the very end.

Choosing to do what was right over ‘efficiency’.