I sighed as I cast my mind back to my ex-wives. I loved all three of them in three very different times of my life. Sending my mind back to those days was going to be rough, but I felt Katira deserved to hear it.

“You don’t have to if it troubles you, Stu. It’s okay,” she said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

I smiled, knowing that I would tell her even as it ripped apart my heart again to recount those years.

“No, you deserve to know. If we’re going to be each other’s final partner in life, it only makes sense that we know and understand why we do what we do. I’m going to upset you at some point, and it would do me good to know about your history. Same goes for you. In fact, you’ve already upset me unintentionally by suggesting I raise my father to have one last chat with him. You couldn’t have known how I’d react. I’m fine now, but at the time, I was truly bothered.

“Let’s see. My first wife was named Kathy, and we met online when I was, oh, sixteen or seventeen. We chatted for a few months before we realized we had some chemistry, and a couple of days before I turned eighteen, I hopped on a bus and went to see her, and hopefully find a new life in California.

“That didn’t happen, of course. I got there and her dad was honestly one of the most unpleasant people I’d ever met. Crude, rude, and possessed a mean streak I doubt I knew the half of. To be fair, some punk kid just showed up at his house, claiming to love his youngest, with nothing but a trunk of shit he owned and no skills, plans, or ambitions. I was really dumb, you see.

“Anyway, I spent a couple of weeks with her in a hotel, and we got even closer. I hopped a bus back home to Kentucky, and started making plans to grow up like an adult. I wanted to be better for her. Along the way, I got my license to drive, got a better paying job in a local factory, and started preparing for her to come live with me. A year or so later, and we were living in a little duplex in Springfield, Tennessee, with the prospect of marriage looming on the near horizon.

“There were countless red flags that I naively ignored throughout our entire relationship, but they came together after a series of unfortunate events that ultimately led to us moving to California in her parent’s home.

“About a year after we got there, she started cheating on me. I, being a completely different person at that time, allowed it to happen, and even took her to meet with him on several occasions. I’m not proud of who I was.

“Tensions between us and her parents reached a high, and we decided to move back to my old home. Six weeks later, she took the car and left me. Divorce came a couple years later, and then she got married to the guy she was cheating on me with, and they are still happy to this day. Got a kid together and everything. I’m glad she found someone she could stay with. Life with the person that I was back then had to have been hard,” I said.

Katira began rubbing my arm and shoulder in a comforting manner. “I can’t believe that. Who in their right mind would leave someone like you?” she said in wonder.

“Keep in mind that I was not the man you know. I wasn’t as nice or kind, nor was I very smart. I was intelligent, but not very wise. I had been used to people walking all over me and my rights and desires for years, so it was easy for her to get me to do what she wanted me to do. I don’t blame her, nor am I upset anymore. I honestly wish her the best,” I said with a shrug.

“Did you…did you have any children with her?” Katira asked softly.

I sighed. This would forever be a sore spot for me. “Yeah. We had a daughter together. She’s in her twenties, now, and I’ve not seen her since she was a baby. I’ve heard from her exactly once, and don’t ever expect to hear from her again. I know she’s happy. I know she has a good partner. I know she’s healthy. That’s all any parent can hope for, really,” I said softly, my lip trembling.

“Dear gods. She took herself and your child from you? That must’ve been bad,” she said dabbing at my cheeks with a handkerchief she’d found from…somewhere.

“Yeah. Yeah, it was. I nearly ended it a few times until I got through it with the help of some friends. Funny thing is, I never stopped caring for my ex. And I love my daughter unconditionally. You know that old saying that ‘love never dies’?” At her nod, I continued. “Well, for me, it’s an absolute truth. If I’ve ever loved someone, you can bet good money that I still do. Somewhere inside. I do my best to not speak ill of people I’ve ever loved. Because somewhere within them was something worthy of my time and attention,” I said with a sniffle and a smile.

We rode in silence for a few miles while I composed myself. Recalling that was never easy. Remembering the love and devotion I thought I had, only to find out that I did not, in fact, have it at all would forever be heartbreaking.

Once I felt I could continue, I said, “My second wife, Stacy, was my longest relationship. I met her a couple years after my divorce. We dated for about three years before I proposed, and we got married not too terribly long after that. We were together for almost ten years. She had a medical condition that drained her energy quickly, but she had some good schooling behind her. It was with her that I grew the most, I think. We found out that I have a thyroid condition and sleep apnea. Both of which contributed heavily to my emotional issues. My upbringing brought up the rest. It was with her that I started going through therapy to help resolve my problems. I wasn’t perfect by a long shot, but I was getting better.

“We lived together in the Louisville area for about half our relationship, but her job -which paid all the bills, mind you- dissolved, leaving us with only my income to work with. We were forced to find a new home, and her parents graciously offered to buy us a home in Arkansas, where they lived. We would pay them, and as a result, our payments would be only for the cost of the mortgage. Plus we would have some flexibility if shit hit the fan.

“Well, shit inevitably did hit the fan when we both realized that we were becoming toxic to the other. We’d had a son when we lived in Louisville, and a daughter shortly after we moved to Arkansas. We really didn’t want the kids to grow up in a home where mom and dad stayed together just for the kids. I had that, and I could tell from an early age that things weren’t right. She and I decided that the best thing to do was to divorce and go our separate ways.

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“I got an apartment in town, started dating the woman who would become my third wife, and did my best to talk to and be with my kids,” I finished.

“That doesn’t sound so bad, Stu. At least you two parted on good terms. I’ve seen several examples of that going seriously bad for everyone. What of your other two children?” she asked.

“I call them every week. And holidays and birthdays. I love them, but I know I’m not now, nor would I have ever been a very good dad. I feel like too much of an ‘outsider’, like I just don’t belong wherever I am, or whoever I’m with. That feeling was just as evident with my kids. Not saying I don’t want to have them in my life, I’m just mature enough to know that their mother and grandparents are the absolute best choice for them to be with right now,” I said with a sigh.

Katira leaned over and kissed my shoulder. “That shows wisdom, Stu. You’ve grown,” she said, still stroking the soft fur of the rabbit, who had flopped on her side.

“My third wife, Tonya, is an interesting woman. Before you, she most closely resembled the woman of my dreams and fantasies. In fact, as we got closer, I found that she would happily fulfill any of my fantasies. All I had to do was ask. I never did, though. More’s the pity. We have no children, nor did either of us think it prudent. I’d already lost two whole families of my own creation; lost due to problems of my own making. Losing a third would definitely kill me. Literally.

“We went on trips together, saw some sights, found a place in Washington state we would truly enjoy spending the final years of our lives, and started making plans to retire or just outright move there. We discovered that our lives were always passing each other by. Like two ships in the night. We’d seen each other multiple times during our lives in Kentucky, but it was only in Arkansas that we actually met. It was a good two years of what I thought was calm. Passionate, but calm nonetheless.

“As you know by now, that wasn’t the case. You see, she and I never really learned how to properly communicate, and that was the breaking point. After we moved from Arkansas back to Kentucky, she left me without warning. In almost the exact same way my first wife did. It was seriously triggering, and for a long time, I hardened my heart against her. We’ve since patched things up, and have been steadily talking more, but I don’t know if it will go anywhere again,” I concluded.

Katira sat in silence for a few minutes, causing me to worry that I’d upset her somehow. As I was beginning to open my mouth to say something, she beat me to the punch.

“I think I understand you now. Why you sleep the way you do. Why you cling to me so tightly at night. Why you’re as kind as you are; even to those that don’t deserve your kindness. Like Drake. I know it is only acting according to its nature, but still, you’re kind to it. Helpful, even. You don’t understand how truly rare it is to have a heart like yours. Even after being broken in spectacularly horrible ways, you still have the capacity to love them. Even when they don’t deserve it.

“I also think it’s good that you continue to talk to your younger children. Hopefully your eldest comes around. I’m sure you speak to the mother of the younger two, also.” When I nodded, she placed her hand on my forearm, “And I think it’s good that you continue to cultivate whatever you can with your third wife, Tonya. Even if that becomes romantic again. You and I are Bound, Stu. Even if you discover immortality, you won’t be able to give it to anyone who isn’t a Necromancer. This means that Tonya will be outlived. And I shall remain. I don’t feel jealousy. I simply have you on a level that nobody else can match. I certainly won’t look for romantic companionship outside of you, beyond being friendly with the other familiars. Don’t feel like you have to stop any other romantic avenues just because of me. Just don’t go seeking them out, please,” she said softly.

I nodded and continued driving, too emotionally worn out to talk. Katira simply sat there, holding my hand for the rest of the trip.

We arrived home about a half hour later. It was nearly noon, so I had decided to call in a pizza delivery about ten minutes before we got to the house. Once home, Katira set the rabbits loose in the spare room, and shut the door. I poured myself a glass of lemonade and sat at the table.

Katira sat beside me and placed her small hand in mine. “You take as long as you need to feel right. I can tell that reliving those stories took a lot out of you. What can I do to help, Stu? And don’t just say ‘Nothing’. I know better. All you have to do is ask, and I will do it,” she said, then kissed my hand.

“Yeah, but are you doing it from care, obligation, or because of the bond?” I asked cynically.

“From care and a desire to see you smile. If you ask me to do something, I can refuse. If you tell me to do it, I literally cannot refuse. Not unless it would bring harm to you,” she explained patiently.

I looked hard at her, feeling my anxiety rise. Why was it always so difficult to speak up and tell someone what I wanted? A gentle squeeze of my hand helped to curb the meandering thoughts.

“I’m going to feed Drake one of the rabbits. We will care for the other one for as long as we can. Keep her in reserve in case one isn’t enough. I also think bringing a dictionary, pen and a notebook with us to leave for it would be a good idea. It might be able to leave us notes. After that? After that, I think there is something you can do for me that will help,” I said. “I think it will help, anyway,” I muttered.

I walked into the spare room and retrieved the smaller of the two rabbits. She wasn’t hard to catch, and she wasn’t small by any means. She had to weigh close to twelve pounds. I carried her to the hatch, and Katira stood by while I unlatched it and walked down the cool stone steps. I set the rabbit on the floor, and she began to explore her new area. We collected the grimoire, then left, locked the hatch, and I called down to Drake.

“Drake? I have set you a meal downstairs. I’ll check on you again tomorrow morning. I would do it tonight, but I’ve got some issues that have come up and require me to have some downtime. I’ll be happy to talk to you once I feel better,” I said.

A soft tapping was heard; as though from a distance.

[Okay, Bubba.]

“I heard that, Master. It said Okay. What does Bubba mean?” Katira asked.

Chuckling, I said “It literally means ‘brother’ in the Southern dialect of English. My mother and sisters have called me that for my entire life. I asked Drake to call me that, as it seemed to be all alone.”

“Oh. That sounds nice. Now. What can I do to help ease your mind, Master?” she asked with a smile, her arms clasped behind her back.

I leaned down and whispered something in her ear, my face turning red. She took a half step back, her head tilted at an angle. “Is that all? I would be happy to,” She said with a broad smile, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom with the grimoire under her arm.