I handed her my Grimoire, and the lot of us went back towards the cave. On the way, we chatted amiably about what kinds of experiments we all wanted to try first. After reanimation, of course.

“I’d like to see if there’s any way I can animate a corpse with a specific task in mind. Like a skeleton that will only wash dishes, or a dog that will only guard my home. So many different things I could do!” Robert enthusiastically said.

“I would like to heal. There has to be something in the world that would survive an extreme healing. Like a missing limb,” Morita-san mused.

“I want to be safe. In home. On street. At job. Not scared to die,” Joaquin said softly. We all nodded agreement.

“What do you want to do, Stu?” Robert asked.

“Yes. What would our senpai wish to do?” asked Morita-san.

“I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it. I mean, healing others sounds awesome. So does making what could essentially be a zombie robot army. I apparently have a ton of potential, so that adds a lot of pressure, and I don’t quite like that.” I laughed bitterly, “It’s just like my school life all over again.”

Katira stopped and faced us and said, “Initiate Merideth, explain yourself. I will know what you mean by that.”

“Which part?” I asked.

“All of it.”

I sighed and thought for a moment. “Well, being able to heal, to help, is a noble calling, I think. I’d like to do something worthwhile like that with my life,” I said.

“The mundane world cannot know of your Necromancy,” she said simply.

I nodded and continued with, “Well, that’s a given, I suppose. Having the ability and knowledge to make an army of creations with a singular purpose sounds pretty cool, too. They could free me up from mundane tasks like cleaning the house or doing the dishes, or even cooking, maybe.”

“To what end, Initiate? Why would you create this ‘army’?”

I faltered. I hadn’t really thought that far ahead. “I… I really don’t know. I mean, it sounded cool. Maybe…maybe I just wanted to be awesome at something for once. Do something that nobody had done before, I guess,” I finished lamely.

“The desire for glory is inherent in Humanity, Initiates,” she said gently. “Do not shy away from it. You must, however, learn to direct it into useful ends, instead of for its own sake.” She paused to let her words sink in. Directing her attention to me, she asked, “Now, what of the rest?”

I sighed softly, remembering my youth. The endless expectations of my family and teachers and peers due to my supposed intelligence. Sure. I was smart, but I had no way of actually applying that intelligence as a child. I simply wasn’t taught how, and never shown the opportunities to get that knowledge. Life, it seems, always had a knack for kicking me in the nuts whenever I began to get a handle on things.

“I do not wish to recount my childhood right now. Just know that I never quite measured up to the expectations of the people around me, even though I had the potential to do so,” I said stiffly.

“Initiate…” she said warningly.

“I will say no more on the matter, and there is no force on this world or any other that will make me,” I said with irritation, and walked on towards the cave.

The rest of the group stared at my back as I left, and Katira looked sadly at me as I went.

“Drake? Follow him. I don’t know where he is going, but he should definitely not be alone. Not out here. He knows that,” she said to the small dragonet.

Drake nodded and leapt up to the trees, where he beat his powerful wings, taking silent flight after me.

***********

I walked on, oblivious to my surroundings. The haze of irrational anger that I felt was powerful. It blinded me to the fact that I had walked past the cave, and was climbing down the holler beside it. I ignored all the warning signs and the unwritten rules of the mountains in my fury. I simply needed to get away. I didn’t even hear Drake’s wingbeats in the air behind me as I descended.

All I knew was that my mind was being assaulted by visions of my past failures and mistakes. All I could see were scenes from my childhood being replayed over, and over. I walked and climbed until I heard a stream, and followed it back towards its source, coming to a short waterfall.

I heard the rushing sound of water flowing over itself as it tumbled twenty feet into a small pool, and followed it in the cool, crisp air of spring. It was a shallow basin; maybe three feet deep, and twenty wide. There were several crayfish milling about under the turbulent waters. A few small fish darted to and fro beneath the crashing water, as well. There were daffodils, daisies and other wildflowers along the banks, lending the air a heady, soothing scent. It was serene and peaceful.

I found a boulder to sit on, obviously dislodged from a rock slide some time ago. It sat well away from the pool, so I could observe the goings-on under the water without having to get wet. As I clambered up onto it, I heard a scrabbling in the trees behind me, and I froze.

Breathlessly, I scanned the forest in front of me. I could still hear birds calling, and see a squirrel or two bounding through the leaf litter in the distance, so I was reasonably sure that it wasn’t one of the things that persisted out here. That left two options. One: it was just more of the same, critters doing critter things. Or two: someone had followed me.

For some reason, the possibility of being followed just irritated me further. I wanted to be alone. To let these feelings bleed out of me in solitude. To not let anyone else have to deal with them. They were my burden to bear. My problems. Not anyone else’s.

I hopped off the boulder and walked towards the pool. Anger welled up within, and I knew I was probably going to do something stupid. Probably monumentally so. I slipped off my shoes and socks, and waded into the shallow pool, my denim kilt soaking up the cold water.

I took a deep breath and plunged my head under the colder water, bellowing as loudly as I could. I repeated the process several more times, until I was soaked through with the cold water. The wildlife had darted away to hiding places under the rocks that littered the pool.

I stood there, shivering, still irritated. Only now, I was upset because I was cold and wet. I looked at my hands, now pale as the blood had begun to collect in my core, and wondered what good Necromancy truly was in a world of technology. Just how was it beneficial?

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As I stood there, pondering, I heard the scrabbling noise again, and let my eyes dart towards the sound. I saw nothing in my periphery, and figured that as I was already an easy target, I may as well do as I wished.

I let my essence flow into my hands, coating them in a red glow. At my thought, the glow took on different forms. Claws, spikes, blades, and even blunt hammers. I waded to the bank, and touched a stone with my essence.

As I expected, nothing happened. The flowing energy simply passed into the rock and back out, leaving no mark. Still, it looked menacing, and that was enough. I climbed out, facing the direction of the noise, which just so happened to be the boulder I had been sitting upon.

“Whoever you are, whatever you are; come out. Now,” I commanded. Receiving no answer, I stomped towards the rock, my hands poised to strike.

I leapt on top of the boulder, and was about to drive my fist toward the ground, when I heard clicks and chirps from the other side.

[Hello Bubba! Is me, Drake!]

I relaxed, looking below, and saw Drake’s form curled up in a defensive posture. I calmed down, lowering my hands. My essence receded back into my body and the glow left.

“Drake? What are you doing here?” I asked, bewildered.

He bounded up onto the boulder and nuzzled my chin with his head, and began to chirp.

[Katira said follow. I follow. All are concerned. You left, alone. Not smart. Not here.]

I sighed, annoyed at myself. “You’re right. Once my feet are dry, I’ll head back. Okay, buddy?” I said with a sigh.

Drake nodded and sat beside me, and we both watched the water while I dried off. After a few minutes, I felt relatively dry enough to pull my socks and shoes back on. I did so, and we began the long ascent back up the holler, whereupon he directed me back to the cave.

I walked into the cave and rummaged around in the cooler for a sausage and some bread. I ate in a meditative silence, reflecting on the past couple of hours.

I wasn’t mad at Katira. Of that much I was certain. I think I was more upset with myself. Of my shortcomings and failures. Of my difficulties in maintaining control over my emotional state. I sighed softly and looked at my small companion.

“Think we should go back to them, Drake? Or wait for them to find us?” I asked.

He chirped and whistled, bounding up to my shoulder somewhat painfully. I really needed to make some sort of leather harness for him to hold on to. This was going to cost me a fortune in shirts. I dug around in my bag and placed my hunting knife on my belt. He tapped a message on my shoulder, and off we went.

[Let’s go, Bubba. I find them by smell. Will point the way.]

Together, we walked out of the cavern, and he began to guide me with his snout. We walked for almost an hour, and I heard them well before I saw them.

“...so that is how you change the amount of essence in each droplet of blood. One moment, Initiates.” I heard Katira say. “Initiate Merideth! Welcome back. I trust you have gotten whatever it was out of your system?” she asked aloud.

“Yeah. I think so. Sorry everyone,” I called back, stepping into the clearing. I looked around sheepishly at the faces collected there.

Robert piped up with, “Yeah… Maybe don’t go tearing off into the woods alone, yeah? After what you told us last night, I’d have thought you’d know better. What gives, man?”

“Well, I tend to not think straight when I get upset. I usually need to be away from whatever it was that upset me. In this case” -I looked directly at Katira- “I simply couldn’t get away from it, as it was inside my own head. I needed some space and air. And, apparently” -I shook my soaked kilt- “some water. Anyway, I’m back, and no, I won’t be discussing anything. Either publicly or privately. Let some things remain where they lie, please,” I said.

Everyone nodded, and I wandered over and stood beside a tree, watching the group.

“As I was saying, changing the amount of essence in each droplet of blood is possible, but there is a point -which is different for everyone- at which the blood becomes volatile,” Katira said. Turning to me, she said, “Initiate Merideth, would you like to try? Only Initiate Grimes has been able to change it. Perhaps you may succeed as well?” she asked.

“Well, we can but try. So, I’m assuming it’s an intention thing? Fix the intent in your head as you release the drop of blood?” I asked.

She shrugged. “That is for you to discover. It may be that way for you, but it may be something completely different. Initiate Grimes found his way to a degree, and we will see if you can, too,” she said.

“Yeah, man. It felt really draining. Like I was a kitchen drain, or something. It wasn’t very pleasant,” Robert said.

I nodded and looked around for a Jelly Ear fungus. Finding some on a tree branch not far, I grabbed a few and returned to the group. I set them down on the ground beside me and sat. Pricking my finger with the knife, I watched as a bead of blood welled up. I wiped it off on my leg, ready to begin. I grabbed a mushroom, and focused on my finger, willing the blood to contain no essence.

I squeezed my finger until the blood beaded up once more. I held it above the mushroom until it fell with a wet plap sound and we all waited.

For a couple of minutes we waited, and absolutely nothing happened. I shrugged and popped it into my mouth, enjoying the treat. Several pairs of eyes stared at me in shock.

“What? They’re edible, and quite good. Even the lookalikes are,” I said defensively. “I’m going to try something else, too. Hang on.”

“Don’t overdo it, Initiate,” Katira warned.

“I won’t, don’t worry,” I said, picking up another mushroom.

I dug into my finger again with the knife, wincing from the pain. A diabetic test kit would probably be useful in the future. I sighed and wiped the resulting blood off on my leg again, and focused once more on my finger.

This time, however, I willed it to contain three times as much essence as normal. I figured it would cause the growth to be three times what it was in the beginning.

As the droplet fell onto the mushroom, I realized that I might have overdone it. The mushroom quivered and shook. It slowly expanded, growing larger, more fruitbodies sprouting up from the chunk of bark that held it. As we all watched, mesmerized, the fungus grew larger and larger, until I had to set it down from the sheer weight. After a few more moments, the growth ceased, and I was looking at nearly one hundred pounds of mushrooms.

I looked up, shocked, and said, “Well. That was unexpected.”

“How much more essence did you put into that, Initiate?” Katira asked crossly.

“Uh, three times the amount?” I said.

“Three times? Do you know what could have happened?” she asked.

“I figured I’d have maybe three pounds of mushroom to eat. Not…whatever that is. What happened, Instructor?” I asked

She sighed and pointed at the clump of fungus. “Initiates, let this be a lesson. When you do not focus on it, your essence is at a neutral concentration. You can reduce it if necessary, and that works fairly straightforward. However. When you attempt to increase it, it works at an exponential level. This is why, Initiate Grimes, you felt drained when you increased yours. You probably didn’t have a specific amount in mind when you did. Your reagent vanished almost immediately, and you were lightheaded and dizzy. Initiate Merideth, however, used three times the amount, and instead of a single pound of mushrooms, we have nearly a hundred. Initiates, your essence is extraordinarily powerful. Remember that in the future. It is usually better to use more blood than to simply increase the essence by whatever manner you are able. Decreasing it is one thing, as you saw with his first test. Now, since we did not go back to the cave, we will do so now.

“Take none of this mushroom here for experiments. It has already been infused with his essence, and attempting to overcome that will be nearly impossible. Not due to his Tier, but to the nature of Essence. He, however, may take as much of this as he wishes for experiments or even a snack, if he so chooses. It really is rather tasty,” Katira said.