The Modron Mutiny
Chapter Three
At the Front Door
“Hmm…we got through alright…didn’t cause no trouble…”
“That’s amazing! Did Toenails cast anything!”
Those voices…they were faint. Their pitches rose and fell…did he know them?
“Hells naw! I nearly filled up my chamber pot ‘for I seens it! Ain’t no magic o’mine doin’ this, Boss!”
An overly posh groan was the only response to this.
Azra’s hearing started to stabilize. One voice was a growl, like rocks scraping against one another. The second high-pitched and excited, almost like a child but the pitch was too abnormal to be human. The groan was from an elf…but the third…the old man voice that was far to filthy and unhinged…where did he hear that? Hear…no…what did it say?
Chamber…pot…chamber pot…chamber pot!
Azra didn’t have the strength to leap up, but he did sit up. As his upper body lurched from the bed, the living statue threw off the ratty blanket that had been placed upon him. He could smell the faintest scent of what the voice described, and his stone stomach was way ahead of him.
Azra vomited, which caused a stream of overly saturated sand to erupt from his mouth. The sandy slurry splashed into the wall across from the statue man, and once he had emptied the contents of his stomach, the living statue noticed the voices stopped.
Slowly turning his head, he saw them, the people from the beach. He saw the humanoid snapping turtle, the armored elf, and the gnome with an overbite. More importantly, he saw the filthy dwarf with toenails like something from the Abyss. The dwarf was smiling, showing Azra more gums than teeth. He was also holding a very familiar shield.
That shield…Azra had gotten in somewhere important…he normally didn’t use a shield. Someone had forced him to use it. Was it adventurers like this? Adventurers he had known? As Azra thought, before a whole memory could come back, the dwarf spoke.
“I’s got ye shield! Even spit-shines it I did!”
Azra never wanted to see that shield again.
Before he could vomit again, Rexi put a hand over his mouth. Her rather small hand had strength behind it he would have never guessed a gnome could muster.
“Don’t puke again; you’ll only make yourself sicker!”
Rexi shouted in a pleading tone, before cracking her head back to the dwarf.
“Toenails leave!”
The dwarf waddled out with a mad cackle. The elf looked almost as sick as Azra, but the tortle just held the same expressionless look he always had.
Azra waited for the gnome to remove her hand, then stood up in a fluid motion too fast for any of the beach people to stop. A statue shouldn’t have been able to move like that. The statue man held up a hand, and before speaking, slowly glanced around at the small cabin.
“I have two questions. One. Am I being taken captive?”
Rexi sighed, and tried her best not to sound irritated. She could tell this was going to be hard.
“No, you were being hunted by evil minotaurs, and when you saw our dwarf you passed out. If anything, we rescued you.”
Azra just blinked; his face so still it looked like a real, non-magic statue.
“I thank you, but taking me on the same ship with that dwarf was a mistake.”
Before Rexi could speak, Azra cut her off abruptly.
“Two. Were your hands clean when you covered my mouth?”
Rexi couldn’t hide her frustration, “I never cleaned them since we left…we were too busy hauling you on board!”
Azra vomited again.
Rexi loudly groaned, and motioned for the other two to leave. The elf practically ran out, seeming to be getting sicker by the second. Qresh lumbered away, but visibly lingered further down the hallway. Rexi looked at him, but didn’t appear to be angry. Qresh could tell that she didn’t want to be left alone with the strange human statue.
“Listen, I understand that you aren’t the run-of-the-mill golem, but being near a dirty druid has to be better than death. Those minotaurs would have made you into paving stones. Not only that, but we…no…the whole of Faerun may need your help.”
Azra was patting down his armor as Rexi spoke. Rexi waited for him to respond, but he only acknowledged her with a quick glance.
“I need to be alone for a moment”, Azra shakily said. “Also, I no longer want that shield back…if he had to touch it…”
Rexi turned to leave, but just as she entered the hallway, she heard the man take something from his pocket. Rexi only “heard” this due to the object being metal. Thinking it was a weapon, Rexi quickly turned around only to see the human statue examining himself with a small hand mirror. No…he wasn’t just looking at himself, he was trying to talk to someone.
“Are you there? Please answer? Hello!” The statue screamed.
Rexi cleared her throat, which caused Azra to visibly jump.
“In this world mirrors don’t talk”, Rexi stated flatly.
“Well, it is not from this world, and I thought you were leaving?”
Rexi just smiled, her two front teeth gleaming as she put her hands on her hips.
“Well, at least now I know something useful about you. I don’t care where you’re from, or if you can…or think you can…talk to someone with a hand mirror. If that’s a secret, it’s safe with me, but I really think you want to see what’s outside. Also, it’ll be easier for you to puke outside…though if you keep that up, you’ll probably pass out.
Azra turned back to his mirror, seeming to ignore everything Rexi had said.
“If you can hear me, please answer…”
Perplexed, Rexi just watched him stare in desperation at the mirror. Rexi slowly crept over behind the statue, trying to see what was in the mirror. Rexi made it far enough to see that the mirror just held the reflection of the room, but it did have something vertically dividing the center of the mirror. It looked too straight to be a crack.
That split second was all Rexi got before Azra screamed his previous plea into the mirror again.
“If you can hear me, please answer!”
Rexi squealed and nearly fell back onto the wall. Qresh managed to get to the doorframe without alerting Azra, who had snapped the mirror shut once he heard Rexi scream.
Azra looked over his shoulder at Rexi and Qresh. As he did, he slipped the mirror away and shook his head disapprovingly.
“Honestly, you primes have such a lack of decency. I cannot even privately speak with my significant other without being gawked a...”
The man dropped his sentence with a look of sheer panic. If statues could sweat, he certainly would have been. Qresh’s expressionless face let out a contemplating growl as Rexi shimmied over to the doorframe.
“Your girl lives in the mirror?” The tortle bellowed in his emotionless voice.
Rexi could tell Qresh didn’t believe this, but was shocked that Azra had implied it.
Rexi, now thoroughly done with arguing, walked out the door. She paused before tapping Qresh on the shoulder, signaling that she wanted him to follow. As Qresh turned, Rexi whispered in the spot on Qresh’s head where his ears would have been, had he not been born a Tortle without external ears.
“He doesn’t have a girlfriend Qresh, he’s probably hallucinating that something is in that mirror.”
Though the two should have been out of ear shot, Azra not only heard but appeared to have been shocked by the gnome’s words. He patted his leather armor, close to the pocket he stuck the mirror in, and tried to yell out to Rexi and Qresh.
“No, I do not! You are exactly right! I am simply mad and was not trying to talk to anyone!”
Rexi didn’t care anymore, but it sounded like the statue wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about his imaginary girlfriend. To Rexi, this man trying to hide what he previously said was pointless. After seeing a human statue vomit however, she could believe anything about this strange construct.
When Rexi and Qresh came above deck, the first sight to greet them was Theril steering the ship. Once Qresh’s clawed foot stepped onto the deck, the elf stepped away from the wheel. He appeared not to care how the ship lurched, or how quickly Qresh ran to steady the wheel.
“Piloting this ship is deplorable. I cannot wait to get back to the mainland.”
Qresh grabbed the wheel as the elf strode back to the lower deck. Rexi clenched her plated fist and shouted at Theril, who stopped rather swiftly in response.
“Don’t stop steering just because you see us, you scrawny dumbass!”
Theril was trying to keep his haughty expression calm, but it was clear he was feeling uneasy.
“We really do need to hire a driver for this sort of work, as I am simply not suited for it.”
Rexi choked out a laugh, “Why? Because you’re too good to pilot a ship for two minutes? For an elf you sure are stupid, do you not realize that we are adventurers? Doing this sort of work is more than just swinging a sword and keeping your armor pretty!”
The elf started to cross his arms and argue, but instead chose to turn back and go below deck. As Theril turned, Azra was marching up the planks right in front of him. Instead of walk around Theril, the Azra simply picked him up, and effortlessly moved him aside. Theril could only stand in place, too shocked to say anything. A laugh like grinding stones snapped Theril out of his daze; the first thing his eyes focused on was Qresh laughing with an expressionless beaked face.
Theril stormed back into the ship, as Azra walked up to the front of the ship. Rexi cringed as he did; as she really underestimated how much a walking statue weighed. Each step the man took caused the ship’s boards to creak. Rexi watched, and held in her breath a little, as Azra marched to the front of the ship. Thankfully he didn’t cause the ship to rock too much, or fall through the floor.
Azra was gazing at the tower like he’d seen a piece of the upper planes. Rexi walked up to his side, grinning as she tried to meet his eyes.
“What did I tell you? Marvelous view, isn’t it?”
Azra was too awestruck to respond immediately. He just stammered.
Rexi smiled wider and started to walk away, before she heard Azra blurt out a response.
“I-I did not clean my hands after touching the elf…but I cannot now. Do you have any idea what this is?”
Azra asked as if the answer meant a great deal to him. Rexi really hoped it wasn’t something so important.
“Well, no, we’re actually here to investigate it. Since the treasure from the other islands was taken, we decided to see what this is.”
Azra didn’t turn around; his eyes didn’t leave the tower.
“This is…I…I do not know how to explain it. I have seen one before but it was not here…it was in a plane of law…”
Rexi leaned in to hear Azra’s response, when an explosion of ocean spray broke her concentration.
Rexi quickly put on her helmet as her gaze shifted to the opposite end of the explosion, only to see that a pirate ship was rapidly advancing. The ship had seemingly come out of nowhere, and was so close running would have been useless. Before Rexi could shout any commands, she noticed that Azra was still staring at the tower.
“Qresh! Get us angled out of their cannon fire! Somebody get Toenails up here and give us some cover!”
“I’s already threw the shield away!” Rexi heard Toenails distantly yell with a cackle.
She rolled her eyes and tried to focus on the pirate ship.
Rexi didn’t bother to draw her weapon. She only had a handful of spells she could use, and none of those were worth standing in cannon blast range. Before Rexi ran off, she saw that the statue man was still mesmerized by the tower.
“Statue! Get below deck before the cannons turn you to gravel!”
Azra turned back around. As he did, he faced Rexi with a look of seriousness she rarely saw in anyone.
“I can destroy these pirates for you, but please take me to that tower. I need to find out why it is here.”
Rexi didn’t expect anything normal to come out of the statue’s mouth, but she was willing to give him some credit. Insane or not, he had more information on this tower than anyone else.
“You have my word that, if we don’t sink, I will do all I can to get you in that tower.” Rexi tried to assure him as she kept her eyes on the enemy ship.
Azra smiled, exposing his perfect, white-marble teeth. With a motion far too fluid for an average human, or especially a being made of stone, the man flourished his scimitar.
A thick blanket of fog enveloped the pirate ship. Immediately after the ship lurched and sped in the direction Rexi had commanded. Much to her surprise, she saw Theril manning the sail with Toenails. The pirate ship had been covered in a blanket of fog by Toenails, and had been outmaneuvered by Rexi’s smaller but quicker ship. With their visibility gone, Rexi planned on getting within boarding range.
“Get ready to shake hands everyone!” Rexi shouted before running to the front of the ship.
Rexi watched Qresh leave the helm, and rush to the anchor. Despite being such a large creature, Qresh could run almost twice as fast a normal person. Rexi wanted to board before the pirates could turn their ship or cannons around, but she soon realized that wouldn’t be necessary.
As the pirate ship drifted out of the fog cloud, Rexi saw it heading straight for their ship. Rexi nearly lost her footing as the two ships collided. She saw Qresh kneel down and dig his claws into the floor. Though wood started to splinter, the large tortle managed to immobilize himself. Toenails and Theril were both gripping some nearby ropes, but Rexi had no clue where the statue man was.
Onboard the pirate ship wasn’t pirates at all, but dozens of orcs. They were all snarling and screaming in their own language, but most appeared to be unarmored. Rexi said a silent prayer to the Red Knight. Unarmored orcs were vastly easier to deal with than pirates with smokepowder, even if they still had cannons.
Despite the group’s fortune, the scene didn’t make much sense to Rexi. Orcs didn’t normally sail ships. Not just that, but they had sailed a ship near an island full of adventurers that would have been more than happy to cut down a few orcs if there was gold involved.
There was no way the orcs would know about the tower. Most weren’t fully literate, and orcs didn’t exactly have an information network. Rexi knew someone had to have sent them here.
Why was the more important question; a question that she couldn’t answer now. If these orcs had a leader, Rexi had to find whoever or whatever it was.
Rexi wanted to examine the ship, she wanted to yell for a damage report, but Rexi knew that getting onboard that ship and lighting some of the smokepowder would be the key to ending this fight. Rexi doubted the orcs would know how to properly store it.
Before Rexi could meet any orcs, Azra started to walk towards the orc ship. The orcs hadn’t charged yet, and were still dumbly shouting. This strange golem; that poor wretch who had vomited at the sight of a dirt-caked druid, was stoic in the face of the mass of orcs.
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“Do not worry little gnome, I will kill them all in one swing. We will only have to tolerate their putrid stench for a few seconds longer.”
Azra grabbed a rope and tied it around his waist. Rexi quickly glanced over her shoulder, and saw that the rest of her party was rapidly approaching. She turned back to Azra, who had a look of absolute resolve in his eyes.
“What are you up too? What do you mean? Can you do magic too?” Rexi inquired as her head darted from Azra, to her party, and back to the mass of orcs.
Azra just grinned. Rexi saw his perfectly carved teeth and gums; he really was like a human down to the finest detail. Azra turned away from the orcs, who started to snort and scream in response.
“I have a very special sword…a sword that is well known for cutting a ship like that into two perfectly even pieces!” Azra yelled as if he wanted the orcs to hear.
The look of determination didn’t fade as he turned around to the orcs Azra took a few steps back as he prepared to leap.
“I would ask for you to surrender, but you filthy monstrosities deserve a quick death. And by water no less! If I were as acrid as you, I would jump overboard!”
The orcs started to charge, but the entire mob of them stopped as the statue man started to run forward. They appeared to believe what he said. Rexi, now sensing the rest of her party at her side, started to believe it too.
Could he really do this? Could he do it without the rope snapping?
As Azra leaped, he raised the sword over his head in a perfect form. The rope went taut as he brought the sword down onto the ship. The sword cut deep into the wood…but it did only that. The man hit, first colliding with his sword’s hilt, then the rest of his heavy bulk collided with the ship’s underside. The crash was hard enough to splinter wood. The rope started to fray shortly after.
Azra just sat there, a heavy pit in the side of the ship. No movement was coming from him, and his charge coupled with his weight was causing the orc ship to rock awkwardly.
The orcs all ran to the edge, and looked down in a mix of fear and confusion.
“Ay! He didn’ do nothin’! Rock man jus’ passed out! We still got’s a ship!”
The orc that screamed this, one that looked a little bigger and grayer than the others, bared its pig-like eyes at Rexi.
“He wit’ you?” The orc grunted out.
The deadpan look on Rexi’s face couldn’t be seen, but it was somehow felt by the whole party.
“No, but he certainly doesn’t fight for you either.”
The orc chortled, “You dum’ ‘obbit ought to ‘earn some manna’s.”
Rexi just shook her head, then glanced over at Qresh.
“I’ll go deal with their fireworks. Why don’t you show these orcs what the Fighting Five can do…”
Qresh let out a blood chilling roar. It sounded like the echo of rocks being ground together in a cave. The orcs were taken back by this, all managing to pause it either horror or confusion. Theril jumped as Qresh did this, and Toenails cackled like an old woman.
These orcs probably never seen a tortle, and if they had it wasn’t one like Qresh. He leapt high, supernaturally high, into the air. No magic was cast, and no spell was uttered, Qresh could simply do things that defied physical explanation. Rexi viewed it like how minotaurs could always navigate a maze, or how some monks could punch with similar effects to the strike of a mace.
The tortle threw his massive bulk dead center of the orcs. The impact from his landing caused the planks he landed on to buckle and nearly splinter. Qresh wasn’t sent through the floor, but the orcs around him were all thrown back or off balance.
The few orcs standing didn’t stay on their feet for long. With a quick sweep of his long, lizard-like tail, Qresh sent the remaining orcs to the ground. In a sickening series of pops, Qresh punched in a flurry at each fallen orc’s face. By the time the tortle had finished, only one orc still had a clearly visible head.
The rest of the horde was certainly frightened, but got back into shape when they heard a loud bang. The lead orc, the gray one that spoke to Rexi, had fired a flintlock pistol into the air.
“Tear that ‘upid thing outta ‘is shell!” The orc roared as it slipped out another loaded pistol.
The orcs advanced with axes and rusted falchions readied, but Qresh’s unmoving posture briefly broke their charge. He lunged at the horde, taking plenty of axe blows and sword cuts as he did. Nearly all bounced off his unyielding carapace. Qresh’s neck darted out at random; each bite severing an orcish limb or making a wound that matched one done by a greataxe.
The lead orc fired his pistol at Qresh. There was a crack, then Qresh twitched, but that was all. Somehow, the pistol bullet bounced off of the front of his shell. Upon seeing this, the lead orc bolted down to the lower levels. The few orcs still intact did their best to retreat.
Another blast interrupted the chaos, but whatever it was threw Qresh off his feet. The very top-left side of his shell looked singed, perhaps cracked. Whatever this was, Qresh was flat on the deck and wasn’t moving.
Rexi had nearly made her way below deck when she saw the cannon. One orc had been strong enough to move it into position, and was lucky enough to actually fire the damned thing. He was smiling stupidly and holding both ears. The orc still held his axe in one hand, which was now pressed against his head.
The lone orc soon found himself engaged with Theril, whose elven curved blade flurried and grazed the creature in a serious of quick but frantic slashes. As the elf’s blade nicked his skin, the orc readied his axe and charged. The orc was able to ward Theril off with some heavier axe swings, but Rexi could tell he wouldn’t fight long. Theril wasn’t as seasoned as the other four, but he did have his uses.
The orc horde all ran at the fallen Qresh, axes ready to find purchase in any soft point of his boney armor. One orc found himself engulfed in a pillar of lightning, which shot out like serpents to briefly stun three more. The orcs looked over on the Five’s ship, and saw a brown-stained dwarf making a very rude gesture at them all with both fingers. As Toenails cackled, thunder could be heard in the distance.
The lightning was a sign to Rexi to get down below deck and light the powder. She vanished from sight, and ran below deck without finding a single orc. Qresh turned away from his carnage, and grinned as much as his bone-forged face would allow. By the time Qresh returned to look at the last few orcs, somehow their numbers had tripled. Something was not right about this at all…
Once she got below deck, Rexi quickly noticed her error as the drastic contrast from light to dark near blinded here.
“…now!” Rexi heard an ethereal voice whisper.
Rexi started to remove her helmet, when something suddenly came over her. She felt forced down into the dark space. It was damp and had curved sides. It was a barrel.
The lead orc laughed oafishly as it held the barrel down over the gnome.
“’upid ‘obbit!” The orc growled as it kept the barrel steady with one hand. The orc slipped out a thick-bladed knife, and readied to plunge it into the barrel.
The gray orc heard the smashing of wood, and felt an almost supernaturally strong force push back to his left. His beady eyes darted down to see a small, plated fist smash through the wood.
Almost like a panicking child that just now realized the animal he had caught was dangerous, the orc dropped the knife and tried to hold down the barrel. Another punch, followed by an even louder smash had half the barrel turned to splinters as Rexi charged out.
The enraged gnome let her helm dangle by its chain on her waist, face now red and her strange pink irises accented the rage in her glare. The gnome’s red hair flew behind her as she charged; drawing her longsword in such a fluid motion the orc had almost missed it.
The orc stupidly swiped out, managing to parry her blade just enough to not get impaled outright. The gnome was on the offensive though, and even though the scene looked strange, the smaller creature had the clear advantage. Like Qresh, Rexi seemed to have more strength than usual.
Rexi dipped to the side, briefly allowing the orc’s axe to glance off her armor as she flourished her blade up and through the orc’s armpit. The orc dropped his axe, and before he could reach inside his soiled vest for another weapon, Rexi had slashed him across the chest.
In her anger though, Rexi hadn’t swung the blade accurately enough. Rather than get anything vital, she just left the orc a long, but not immediately lethal, wound. The cut still caused the orc to fall to the floor. The orc let out a squeal in response as he rolled himself to the end of a huge stack of boxes.
Rexi just stood in place, watching the large being breathe deeply and lie there.
“Who is running this ship! I heard a voice tell you to put me in a barrel, so if your master comes out right now, and if whoever it is can hear this, I may let you go free!” Rexi screamed.
The only answer Rexi got was a loud series of thuds from the top deck.
Toenails was using his club to parry two orcs at once. He was too old for this; the monsters usually didn’t make it this far. Somehow one managed to get a smokepowder cannon and knock Qresh down.
Qresh had briefly gotten to his feet, but was being pelted by orc attacks. He was disabling just as many, but was starting to fear one would get wise enough to cut him deeper in a soft part. Toenails was occupied, and Qresh had no idea where Theril was right now. He had killed the lone orc he fought, but Qresh couldn’t see him anywhere.
“Rexi get back up here!” Qresh growled out as he grabbed an orc by the head and used him as a living shield to keep the rest at bay.
Rexi’s head darted up, now terribly aware that there were much more orcs onboard than they had initially seen.
Rexi didn’t understand any of this; none could have come from below deck. Other than this area there was only one more hatch and a ransacked captain’s cabin. Rexi was sure that the hatch was just a separate storage area, and couldn’t have had another wave of orcs waiting inside.
Despite all the questions she had, Rexi would be damned if she was going to leave her right-hand man to die. She started to run up the top deck, but a bright light threw off her concentration.
The fallen orc had managed, in the brief span of time she lost sight of him, to draw and light a torch. All of the boxes and barrels in the cargo hold were marked with flame-like or skull symbols. Everything down here was smokepowder! The orc had a look of absolute madness plastered across his tiny-eyed visage.
“For the Dual-Faced God!”
A chill shot through Rexi’s spine. She had planned to light some of the smokepowder. What she didn’t plan for was there to be enough to reduce the ship to splinters. Rexi didn’t have time to pray. She heard a blast, yet saw no fire. The orc hadn’t forced his torch down into anything yet.
The blast came from the side of the ship. A huge split had magically opened in the wood. There was no splintering or cracking, it was an oddly even cut the Realm’s best woodcarver would be proud of. Thankfully someone had answered her prayers in advance.
Water erupted from the slice, and poured onto both the orc and Rexi. Rexi heard the orc make an exact copy of a pig’s squeal as his torch was doused. Rexi slipped on her helm and darted up the stairs. As the ship’s lower section started to take on water, Rexi glanced down to see a human statue rising from the floor.
Qresh’s technique was working. The orcs couldn’t surround him as easy, though now his wounds were starting to be felt. One orc had cut him below the arm, and another near the unarmored section of his stomach. Qresh’s face twisted in annoyance as he reached for his sword.
In a flash that rivaled Rexi’s speed, Qresh drew his sword. It looked like a slightly rusted, but abnormally thick cutlass. The sword was old, had a tarnished brass grip, and an edge that was almost jagged. The blade looked worn, but not quite worn enough to be considered useless.
The orcs darted back, now terrified that the man in front of them had summoned some kind of sorcery. They were only met with a chipped-bladed sword. One orc laughed.
Two orcs wielding their equivalent of greatswords charged. Qresh one-handedly parried both blows, then twisted his blade with an outward swing. The strength of his swing managed to throw both orcs off of balance. With a single returning swipe, he struck them down; one losing its head and another finding a cut through half its chest.
Qresh and the orcs could feel the ship start to sink. The orcs ran first, almost as if they thought Qresh would stay on the boat. He lunged after them in response, cutting one down in the back and tossing another into the sea as he boarded the Five’s still floating ship.
Qresh was shortly joined by Rexi, who had also killed two orcs as she ran to join him. As the two fought, Rexi never had a blow touch her. Even her armor stayed clean from the orc’s axes. Qresh continued to either cut or pound orcs down back to the deck. A mound of green was starting to form around the two.
“Statue is back, and he actually did it! He cut the orc ship in half!” Rexi squeaked as she pushed her longsword through an off-guard orc’s chest.
“Theril scurried off!” Qresh growled out as he intercepted two orcs charging from further away with his shell. Qresh swept the orcs down with his tail, and the blow was shortly followed by his merciless old sword.
Azra was running now. The rope he had tied to his waist was broken right when he had awoken. He had only recently come too, and knew that the filth of the sea would not come off of him today. If the gods were good, he wouldn’t smell like seawater tomorrow.
As Azra leapt back to the rapidly inclining deck, he noticed that there were still a few orcs left. They had all jumped onto his ally’s ship, and were being fought by the gnome, turtle-person, and that damned dwarf. Azra heard something that sounded like a growl or gurgle, and in short succession, heard something else coming from below deck.
The clean elf, the one member of the adventurers Azra favored, was sent flying from an unseen location back to the deck of the adventurer’s ship. The elf had a soiled sack of what looked like various pieces of jewelry. Why he wanted the gems in that state Azra couldn’t guess.
What followed the elf was something to behold. A huge and lithe form leapt from the same place the elf came from, a place Azra could tell was another small access below deck, and landed on the ally ship.
The orc ship was rapidly sinking, and Azra knew he didn’t have much time. With fluid grace that one wouldn’t anticipate a statue could have, he leapt back onto the familiar ship, causing the deck to lurch and for the few people still onboard to nearly lose their footing.
As the last orc let out a death-squeal, Rexi looked up to whatever just had jumped onto her boat. She knew immediately that it was a troll, only it had something wrong with it. The thing’s head was shifted to the left, and had a strange bronze cap jutting out of the other side. The cap had some strange rune, a rune Rexi was sure was in dwarven, and also had an equally strange metallic fork that looked like insect mandibles.
“Grob didn’t wake me…this is bad…” The troll grunted out.
It did so in a surprisingly clear voice. As it spoke, the mandibles on its bronze cap clicked wildly.
“You shouldn’t have sunk ship, now you will not be spared. All will die now.” The troll again said in a voice far too calm and clear to be normal.
Rexi couldn’t stop staring. She still had so many questions. This wasn’t the voice she heard, nor did she think it was the “Dual-Faced God” the orc tried to praise. Rexi knew something was very wrong about this entire situation. Orc pirates she could believe…but with enough smokepowder to annihilate not one but probably three ships?
Now she was seeing a troll, a creature that could easily regenerate, fitting with some kind of mechanical augmentation that seemed to make it speak clearer. Why would anyone want this? If these people wanted to test on trolls, why leave them in charge of orcs? Orcs with that much smokepowder could only cause carnage, not an organized attack. It was as if someone wasted research and expensive machines on a plan they wanted to go poorly.
“Were you supposed to be their god?” Rexi shouted up at the troll.
Rexi kept her longsword firmly gripped in her hands. She didn’t expect the troll to attack or even answer, but wanted to at least try and ask it something.
The troll looked down at Rexi with far too much sentience. It almost smiled, as if it envied her.
“You will know soon. Even when you die, you will know very soon.”
Rexi didn’t like that.
Rexi ran at the troll, and Qresh followed. The giant’s claws swatted down, and easily hit Rexi. She managed to slice the beast’s hand off as it did, but was thrown back to the ship’s railing. A quick shield spell had absorbed the force of the blow, and padded Rexi as she smashed into the rail.
Qresh received the second blow, and wasn’t swift enough to counter attack. Much like Rexi, Qresh was thrown to the edge of the ship, but went straight through the wooden siding. Qresh’s claws were the only thing keeping him from fully plunging into the sea. Qresh saw the troll hold up its stump of a hand, and blink in anticipation as the stump became five stumps, which snaked out longer and longer.
The troll found its hand set ablaze, and turned to roar at a dwarf that looked like he was smeared in excrement. Toenails was manipulating a large sphere of fire, one that he had to take care and not burn the ropes or deck.
The troll looked at Toenails, at the ropes, then back at the ball of fire. It lunged at Toenails, briefly allowing the orb to burn its back as it took him in hand, and tossed him up into the sails. The ropes quickly tangled Toenails, who lost sight of his fire and caused it to hover harmlessly in place.
With the agility of a tiger, the augmented troll got on all fours and dove at Qresh. Rexi threw a barrage of magical missiles at the troll. It managed to absorb them like they weren’t even meant to damage it. Cursing under her breath, Rexi charged at the troll, and prayed that she could stop it from throwing her friend overboard.
Theril was coughing blood, and once he realized what had happened quickly kicked his spoils to a far section of the boat. He saw a flaming sphere wink out of existence, and once he glanced up, saw Toenails hanging in the sails. The dwarf was snoring with a rope twisted around his neck. He couldn’t tell if Toenails was choked out, or just asleep.
Theril also saw the statue man from before, walking with forceful steps but not making a sound. The statue was glaring at the troll that had thrown the elf onto the deck, and had a sword in his hand that radiated magic.
The troll had already regrown its hand, and was busy holding Qresh over the water. Qresh could have cut the trolls hand off, but he didn’t know if he could get back onboard the ship. He was heavy, and obviously couldn’t climb up the bottom of a ship.
Qresh slashed and stabbed at the troll as he was being held. All his efforts had cut a path of gore on its shoulder and arm, but he could tell the regeneration was keeping his efforts static. This regeneration wasn’t like a normal troll, it was much more potent.
Rexi was now in melee range, ready to swing at the troll with fire blazing from her sword, but another swipe threw her just as far back as before. Putting her sword down, Rexi concentrated, uttered a few words, and shot out a volley of flaming rays at the monster.
The rays hit the troll and lit it up like oil. It shrieked, and in its fire-induced panic, dropped Qresh onto the edge of the deck. The troll turned to both Rexi and Qresh, then somehow caused a lump to form under the clockwork mechanism in its neck. Another warped head twisted its way from under the device. The now two-headed troll looked at the party, and only vomited in response to them.
The stream of filth covered Qresh, who let out a growling cry of pain. Toenails, now awake from the troll’s cries, slipped a knife from his boot and started cutting at the ropes that held him. The troll bellowed a deluge of toxic slime at Rexi, who had to shield herself again just to avoid the attack.
The now hyper-aware troll looked behind it, only to see Azra glaring at it.
“Do you…do you think to mock me! I do not care what filth you spew at me or what form you hold, I will not stand for this!”
Almost as if the troll could read his mind, it reached into the rags that covered its body and pulled out a wad of some unknown, brown-green substance. As Toenails dropped from the ropes, and Rexi stood up, it hurled the mud-textured mass at Azra.
The missile hit Azra in the chest with a wet plop. It stank terribly, but despite how easily he was disgusted with the dwarf, Azra didn’t even look away from the troll. Azra charged; each weighted foot-fall caused the ship to vibrate. The troll roared again, and charged to meet the statue.
The troll grabbed at Azra, who with a fluid swipe severed both of the troll’s clawed hands. This attack caused the troll to lose balance and fall forward, which gave Azra another window of attack. As the troll doubled over him, Azra swung his arm back out to return on his swing. This outward swipe took off both of the troll’s heads.
Rexi’s sword blazed to life with green flames. She charged the thing’s now fallen body, fully prepared for it to stand back up and attack wildly at her. Rexi slowed her charge as she realized that it wasn’t moving. The body seemed in all respects dead. Rexi plunged her sword into it several times, causing the body to start to burn. Soon after, she quickly rushed to help Qresh.
Azra watched the fully armored gnome scurry to help her ally. He didn’t understand how such a small form could carry plate armor like that, but it managed to work. The turtle-person was sitting up, and looked like he was just really angry instead of injured. Azra only wanted one thing at this point.
Azra strode up to the two severed heads, and looked at the one with the dwarven rune on it. He brought down his sword into the head, which glided through both mechanical bronze and flesh. Azra turned to the other head which looked quite terrified.
“You did not feel it did you? It is because you lack synchronization. You are a flawed, stupid creature, hopelessly grasping at perfection. You erred in too many ways for me to count, but you can explain that to your deformed master in the abyss, servant of Demogorgon!”
“…no…you can explain it to your de…formed master…” The troll choked out before its eyes rolled back in its head.
This shocked Azra, but the troll spoke again.
“…don’t say it around them… If they know they…will kill you…”
The troll then started to laugh in a much too clear voice.
Azra severed the head right down the middle, making a perfect cut. The look on his face was one mixed with rage and sadness; a mental state too shocked to see that the Fighting Five were running to meet him.
A blast of fire immolated each head as Azra heard the gnome’s plated feet near him.
“You weren’t lying! I can’t believe you sank a ship with a sword! Who are you? How did you do it?” Rexi screamed with the enthusiasm of an excited child.
“You tore him right up mhm!” Qresh bellowed.
Azra turned to meet the excited adventurers; the look of shock still plastered on his face. He saw Toenails dump a pale of what he hoped to be water onto the troll’s remains, but for once didn’t care. As the Fighting Five waited for a response, they noticed Azra’s look of shock grow.
“It…it threw its…it threw its…”
Azra’s eyes rolled back in his head. As he was unable to say how the substance covering his chest was troll feces, he instead fell unconsciously over the edge of the ship.
******************************************************************************
Far off in the tower, Hein Slatecutter was watching with combined rage and wonder. That troll had the Slatecutter rune! It had a contraption of his make! That should have been beyond impossible; all those were destroyed long ago.
That, however, was a question for another time. Something far worse had just plunged off of a ship, fairly close to the tower.
As Hein retracted his spyglass, he spoke to himself in tightly clenched teeth. He didn’t understand any of this, but he did understand that human. That damned human who somehow turned himself into a living statue! Another obsessive maniac of flawed “perfection” …another slave of the palindrome!
Hein could hardly contain his rage. He carelessly tossed the expensive spyglass to the ground; the fact it didn’t shatter was a miracle.
“You just had to come find me…chasing that monster of yours…Azra Holder!”