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The Milostiv
Chapter 73 - The Start of Reluctance

Chapter 73 - The Start of Reluctance

  Terin Gaspar felt the strong winds of the Icean Spine burden him.

  How many days it had been since then?

  Terin was in this uphill path. He was with Caldor Ando, Mardon Lam, Rosalve Merete, and Felecia Alvara.

  They had been climbing this uphill path ever since they had left the assault.

  Their goal was to reach the peak of the Icean Spine, reach the catalyst, and bring forth the light that will Terin power. It was important that he would reach out to more power than ever.

  The icy cold winds bit into their skin. His face crumbled for a moment before the light inside of him burned that withering willpower. His foot hardened as commanded, his fist clenched, and his expression filled with power and determination.

  The party continued trekking this uphill icy path until they found a clearing that gave them shelter from the harsh winds of the Icean Spine. They had been in this part of the world for months. The more their conquest continued, the longer it took for them to stay in this region.

  It couldn’t be helped. To save the world one had to take in the sacrifices that was needed to be done. Terin Gaspar thought why he was chosen all the time. How could the world be clumsy enough to give the fate of a world to someone like him? Nonetheless, he could only take a step and move forward.

  The clearing was a cave that blocked the wind coming from the highest peaks of the Icean Spine. Inside the cave, Caldor Ando started a fire. Mardon Lam held on to his single-shot rifle, watching the mouth of the cave for anything. Lady Rosalve gathered spirit and sang their songs to recover their powers. Felecia joined Lady Rosalve in their meditation.

  Terin Gaspar felt that the winds were cold, but nothing that he could handle. It came to him that the more time he spent under the sun. The more he felt all parts of his body invigorated and energized by it.

  Terin’s face hardened for a moment. He rubbed his calloused hand on his coat. His expression could only be described as weary and daunted. There were bags under his eyes. He was not as saintly to believe that all the people they killed five minutes ago were truly evil. He wanted to believe that they were evil. But that can’t be it. There was simply no telling what they were. Are they evil? Are they not? He didn’t want to think of it.

  The fire was started by Caldor Ando as he tried to come to terms with the people he had killed. Terin Gaspar did not enjoy the act of killing anyone. He had grown in Aon long enough to know that there can only be war or peace among the many people in the mainland that had conflicting views and culture.

  The world’s fate was on his shoulders. He hated the idea of being the chosen of the light. Nonetheless, he thought to himself that if no one could walk this path then…who would? There are people who claim that they could do it. That they could save the world. Terin wanted to believe that they could indeed try and be the chosen of the light.

  He was chained by this idea that without him.

  There would be no one to blind the eye of the world and stab the heart.

  No one to face the darkness.

  No one to rely on to when the dark creeps in and the creatures that strive in the dark to win. All for the sake of their survival they were willing to destroy the world and let it passed on. So when the sun appears again, then only they will remain as the dominant race in the world.

  It was a plan that relied on years of sacrifice. Terin knew that they weren’t necessarily evil. That he was only here to make sure that those who live under the blessings of the sun would be able to win again. That somehow they would be able to carry on, then go back home if time allows them to do so.

  “Eat lad,” Caldor Ando handed a piece of meat. His hands prepared what seemed to be a set of provisions. He prepared this soup from his provision that once in contact and boiled above fire would create a healthy and thick soup for them to eat. Caldor Ando also prepared fire cakes that he mixed with crushed dried meat to give the fire cake a tastier flavor.

  Terin Gaspar took the piece of meat with his gloved hands. He hate the piece of meat while taking a bite of the fire cake that Caldor Ando had prepared. His expression calmed and a bit of color appeared on his face as he drank the thick broth that Caldor Ando prepared. The smell of the thick broth spread on the cave.

  Mardon Lam ate on the side of the cave. The two ladies halted their meditation, reached out their thin yet calloused hands to drink the soup and partake on the fire cake that Caldor Ando had prepared. Lady Rosalve was used to the provision. Felecia Alvara however had the usual distorted look on her face as she took a bite.

  “Bear with it,” Caldor Ando said. “I would have hunted if there was anything around. Sadly, this is the top of the Icean Spine, and there aren’t anything other than the monsters who thrives in this environment.”

  Felecia’s expression warned that she wanted to refute. Her lips however didn’t opened, she continued sipping on the hot soup, bringing heat and color to her beautiful face. Lady Rosalve wiped her mouth gently, wiping the liquid. Caldor Ando had grown a fine beard, and throughout their month-long trek to the top of the Icean Spine, their journey had become tougher.

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  They had gone through fields that had hostile villagers. They went through areas where they had been chased out by the local landlord, fearing that they might open the floodgate, destroying the livelihood of the villagers.

  “Are we in the right?” Terin said.

  “What are you on about now?” Mardon Lam asked.

  “I’m saying are we in the right? If we do manage to open the Gates of Brampi, then get more power. Are we in the right?”

  “We are,” Caldor Ando said decisively. “They are on our way, and though they have reasons to do what they must. The very idea that they are not cooperating is evil itself.”

  “Is that what you think? So easy to label them as the greater evil when they are not trying to please us,” Terin pointed out. “But what about Lord Seke? He’s not against us, so we call him a generous man, a good man whose heart is in the right place?” Terin spat on the ground. “Sir Caldor, I am not a child who doesn’t know what is right or wrong.”

  “I know that,” Caldor responded.

  “If you know then stop trying to make me for a fool. I saw the fear in their eyes. I saw that they are fighting for something other than the world.”

  Terin Gaspar held his head. Caldor Ando was about to open his mouth when Lady Rosalve’s raised hand stopped him. Caldor Ando nodded his head, he focused his attention back on the fire. Mardon Lam on the side refused to speak, his eyes on the snow being carried by the wind.

  “You are bothered?”

  “Of course I am bothered. I understand the need to do what we do, Milady. I understand that in order to win this calamity we must sometimes put our foot down and make a choice. I’ve been making the choice to continue on this path. I know that maybe I am just taking the toll and it’s finally settling in that this role is a burden that isn’t easy to carry. I might be just being bothersome, but are we in the right?”

  “We need to win,” Felecia said.

  “And to win we trample on the very people that we are trying to save? I remember hearing that this was all for the good of those who live under the light of the sun!? And the very people that we are scaring and waging war against! How is this saving?”

  Lady Rosalve’s eyes were calm as a still pond. She met Terin’s eyes with such stillness that it made Terin hesitate for a second. Nonetheless, the strength in his eyes remained the same.

“I heard that the Doctor of Milostiv had returned.”

“What?”

Caldor Ando looked at the Lady. “Is that true?”

  “I heard from the spirits the Lady of the Ship that the good doctor returned alive. That he had painstakingly endured and managed to return home and received some blessings. Does he bother you? The good doctor?”

  Terin’s mouth didn’t opened. He smiled wearily, then sat back down. “So what if he’s back? Does that answer my question? Are we in the right? I admit that when I heard our own people think badly of us for rescuing me instead of helping them. I was bothered. I did not like the idea that I would still live if it compromises my beliefs. I know I have some role to play. But if this role means that I have to trample on my own damn self, then what is the point of trying to uphold such role!?”

  His voice carried stern determination. His eyes glared. His fist dug into the palms of his hands. Terin felt a little relieve at the news that the Doctor was back, and that the dislike of those soldiers and the people would lessen. He did not like the way they looked. Not that he minded them truly, but he too wanted to help those who live on the same boat.

  “I understand.”

  “No, you don’t understand,” Terin Gaspar protested. “Lady Rosalve, tell me, truly, are we in the right?”

  “Yes, we are in the right, Terin. We cannot protect everyone if we do not have the resolve to keep on struggling. The path we take is nothing more than a test. Will you falter in the path that you have started? Will you disregard those who have already been stepped on? When I found you, you were struggling against the creatures of the interstice. And now every creature that we have met as we climbed this mountain became nothing more than wilted plants when faced with your light. I understand that you are worn and weary from the battles as of late. But it is an insult to those who we have treaded on to stop now.”

  “Is that what you have to say?”

  “It is.”

  Terin didn’t speak any longer. He waited for everyone to finish their rest and they once again climbed the Icean Spine Mountain. Terin wanted to find peace in his heart, and though there were enemies that lived naturally on the mountain. He couldn’t help but shudder when they were finally starting to enter the highest place. As if they had entered a gate of cloud, Terin found himself slightly out of breath, and as they climbed further to the top, he saw this strange pillar made of crystal that shone like gold against the sun. Mardon Lam stared at the scenery before him as well as the others.

  From the highest mountain peak of the mountain, he could see that the clouds that naturally gathered around Icean Spine island was only because of the coldness of the mountain, making it so that the sun does not regularly shine so brightly on their land. Terin Gaspar ignored the scenery, he walked in front of the crystal pillar and placed his hand on it.

  Then…he felt his soul thrown up in the air.

  He…became a sun for the moment, watching the lands, shining on every direction.

  As the sun he saw the space anomalies that ate up the lands one by one.

  The more time they spent in the Icean Spine, the more the lands were eaten by the interstice.

  Terin Gaspar was somewhat prepared for this truth, and yet in the face of this reality.

  He had to make a choice and take the step forward.

  “Lord that shines the world,” Terin said tearfully. “Please forgive me for those who I have to leave behind.”

  Terin felt the sun inside him invigorated.

  Was there no way other than to violate this land?