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The Milostiv
Chapter 111 - A Troubled Hero

Chapter 111 - A Troubled Hero

  It came to Terin that the people of the Long Strait are refugees. Different cultures, different beliefs, but they share the same pain of losing everything to this enemy they couldn’t see.

“These are the people that we must help.”

Her words have the weight of a mountain. It was a heavy responsibility that Terin couldn’t easily throw away. I know my duties to these people. Terin knows what he must do.

Reach the Eye of the World so he can blind it. Stop the world from being destroyed. It’s a rather straightforward goal. Just travel to the edge of the world where this eye is and hope that your powers can blind it.

He wanted to believe that he could.

But before he was the sun of light.

He was Terin Gaspar, a son of a farmer.

A farm boy who was saved by stronger forces.

He walked among them and they looked at him so passionately. Eyes that said that he was their savior. That they believe that a fool like him can do it. That he can save them.

Having power felt great. It makes him believe that with it he can solve everything. But having the ability to create a banner of light. To produce enough power to make the dark cower wasn’t enough. He realized that when fighting in the Icean Spine.

He can destroy.

He can destroy any darkness.

If he only could satisfy their pleas as well.

If life was so simple then perhaps he wouldn't be watching them with a heavy heart.

‘Save us.’

‘Feed us.’

‘Deliver salvation.’

They want it. They wanted to be saved. They wanted to believe that just by believing in the son of light that everything will be okay. Terin cannot create, he can only destroy and blind.

And perhaps it was this that made them so blind to him. His presence alone can raise their spirits. But to others they know that he was nothing more than a powerful weapon that needs to be pointed at the right place and the right time.

Violence solves so little. What they need is a being who can help these people. Terin knows they are starving. He knows that they don’t have enough to share even if the fleet has an Ark full of Elven-kin.

It means nothing to a land filled with the Starving and the barren. There will never be enough. There are too many here who are looking to be saved. And Terin Gaspar knew he can’t save them all.

If the Blinder of Light was so powerful.

Do you think that he would need an entire fleet to protect him?

Even as months passed he still feels like a cub.

Like a monstrous child that needs to be protected. It was rather degrading being treated like a fragile vase. A glass cannon that they can only point whenever they want.

What they wanted is the Son of Light that blinds the darkness and shines them with hope. The Blinder is who they are looking for. It’s not Terin Gaspar, it’s not him at all.

Terin has a responsibility.

A responsibility that he has to carry on. Because he was the blinder of light. Because he was the son of light that he couldn’t allow himself to be so weak in front of them. He couldn’t allow them to look at him and see a fool trying to pretend he can solve everything for them.

Ideals are wonderful, but only those who are truly powerful can reach said ideals. It was simple. Others must live while some must die. Those who die are those who have little use to them.

It was heartless, but it was the reality of living in this ending world.

The Fleet had decided that they needed to keep those who can help them pass the Strait well-fed and strong. They are allies that can help them and for the sake of the Greater good, they must make sacrifices.

Oh how easy it would be to simply choose to save them no matter what. To say is easy, but to do is hard. Abandon a few, to save many. It was the logical choice for everyone.

Terin Gaspar walked among the people. He looked at them with his eyes hidden in the shadows. He stopped to look at a group of kids running around happily.

“We’ll be okay since the son of light is here!”

“Do you think that we can have good food?”

“We will! They brought food on that walking island, right?”

Hopeful works were like poison. The more he walked among them. The more potent those words poison his heart. It was right to pick the able-bodied. It was a logical choice, the right option to pick in all of this.

But it was hard. What was he thinking? Going around listening to them. Terin didn’t know why he was doing this, but he knew in his heart that he wouldn’t forgive himself for it.

This was the best path that the Fleet and the allies here in the Long Strait can take. They needed to be strong and reach their destination. Isn’t it the most logical thing to do? It’s the right thing to do.

No one would blame them for thinking that. It can’t be helped at all. Even the words of powers cannot feed a million starving mouths.

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Some know that they are not willing to spare them food.

Some believe that the only ones getting fed are the ones who can fight and die for Terin Gaspar. Terin is a symbol. A beacon of light that must remain this hope for everyone as the world tears itself apart.

It was what they said. It was better to be the hope of everyone. Blind them with only one thought so that they may all believe in Terin.

They wanted hope and they’ll get one.

They wanted them believe that salvation has come.

And only through being that salvation that they would be willing to hold on no matter what.

Terin Gaspar returned to the fleet. Milostiv was his home in a way, but he rarely spends time here despite it being his home. Arkshelled Island provides more training ground and the wisdom of the Elven-kin has been beneficial in controlling his powers.

Terin Gaspar climbed below the deck. It was then that Terin Gaspar saw a familiar face doing his rounds. A dogged figure that have not stopped doing what he can.

The Doctor of Milostiv raised his head. He stopped and scrutinized Terin with his doctor’s eyes.

“Is there anything wrong?”

“Doctor, it has been long. Still working yourself?”

“I am. Some of my patients are rather foolish. They think that they can just fool around and think that I can help them.”

“Well, you care about them, so they might have become like that, Doctor.”

Doctor Gabrio sighed. He scratched the back of his head and admitted, “Perhaps I have been spoiling them. Now they think that as long as I’m around they can do what they want.”

“They admire you, Doctor.”

“Then they are fools.”

Terin lowered his eyes.

“Are you not tired?”

“I am. But you have to do what you must do.”

Terin followed Doctor Gabrio on his rounds.

“How are things out there?”

“I don’t know, Doctor. Have you come out of the ship?”

“No, I haven’t. Our previous exploits on that drowned city have me quite busy. It doesn’t help that they think that they wouldn’t get their rations because they didn’t work. I’m glad that our people are professionals, but they must know that they can’t be so reckless.”

“They have to fight, Doctor.”

“I understand that. They must do what they can to survive and come out of this alive.”

Terin smiled. He lifted the hatch and let the Doctor climb down. The Doctor was welcomed by all kinds of people. They looked at him calmly, with such friendly gazes while they would look at Terin as if he was something they shouldn't have looked at.

“I must say, Doctor. We’ve started at the wrong foot.”

“Have we?”

“We have.”

“Oh, then I must have forgotten.”

“It’s not a surprise. You don’t seem to care about status. You do your job, Doctor.”

“Well, I am a healer, and having to deal with foolishness is part of the job. You’d be surprised how many people that I treat are so rude. They are like bulls, so stubborn and when you show them red they cry out and hit you.”

“Have you been treated like that, Doctor?”

“I have. Not everyone is fond of my nosiness. There are people who are rather adverse to the idea of being treated by a quack. Not that I blame them.”

“That’s surprising to me.”

“What’s so surprising? Everyone behaves differently and there are some who are assholes who are ungrateful sons of bitches that need to feel some hurt first before they understand why I’m treating them.”

“That’s strange. I thought everyone likes you now, Doc.”

“Maybe they do. It’s embarrassing for them to refuse someone who just doesn’t want to help, it’s quite easy to excuse it's part of my job and I don’t want any sickness to take place in the first place.”

Terin leaned on the wall as Gaston checked a soldier who had a large wound around on his torso and back.

“That reminds me. How are you?”

“I am doing well, Doctor. I am strong after all. My wounds heal by themselves and the more I bathe myself under the sun. The faster that I heal.”

“I wonder if you have evolved to become like a plant. Plants absorb nutrients from the sun, so you might be like that now.”

Terin stared hard at the Doctor. There was a faint power surrounding the Doctor as his heart beats. There was something different about the way his heart beats, it was so unnatural.

Doctor Gabrio inspected the soldier's wound and dressed the wounds. He advised the soldier on many things before handing the soldier his liquor candy that he kept on giving his patients.

“I guess you aren’t busy today?”

“They allowed me to take a break. We have to move tomorrow and break through one of the lines made by our enemies. They want me to point my powers there so we can continue.”

“I see. Must be tiresome.”

Terin wanted to say that it wasn’t as usual. But somehow he found himself agreeing instead. “It is. It can be quite troublesome to be always looked at like I am salvation.”

“Hmm, it’s your responsibility after all. You have chosen it yourself, coming so far. If you really hated it, then we wouldn’t be here.”

Terin quieted. He looked at the Doctor’s back and asked. “Doctor, do you think that we can help the people here?”

Doctor Gabrio paused. “You mean the refugees, right?”

“Yes.”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s unrealistic to think that we can.”

“Have you been outside?”

“No, I have not. But it’s not hard to notice how they cheer at you. If these people can’t save themselves in the first place, then they must have already given up and placed their hopes on you. Or perhaps they have already tried everything they can and failed or maybe it’s just what it is..”

“I thought you’d be sympathetic, Doctor.”

“I am. But sometimes you have to tell your patients the truth. So unless we pull something out of our asses. It’s hard to think that we can be the supplier of food to these people. The right choice is to select a few.”

Terin can’t help but feel disappointed.

“But don’t fall for thoughts like that. When you start thinking about who you should treat, the lines start to get blurred. Do your job right, and do it as best you think you can. World at least owes you that, mate.”

“That’s easy to say.”

“It is. Oh, you should really take a look at yourself. If you want to help others, at least help yourself first. Rest up, will you? We can't have our Son of Light looking like shit.”

Terin looked at the Doctor’s departing back and chuckled to himself.

“I will, Doctor.”