"Wheeere iiiss iiiit?" The sound of vocal chords dragging over live wires froze Tapper as well, which saved him from recoiling in fear. Another thudding step forward, and the question repeated. "Wheeere iiiss iiiit?" Closer now, angrier.

"W-where's what, Zero? It's j-just me here."

The shadow became a wall of metal, with something dark and sticky leaking out between the seams. "The roobooot. Slime traaap is tripped, it's beeen heeere."

"It must've walked past, remember you told me not to go outs—" in a blur of movement an arm whipped out and grabbed Steffo by the neck, hoisting him entirely off the ground. Tapper couldn't see anything except Steffo's torso, but he could hear the choking and the panic that now edged his words. "I'm telling you, it isn't here! You know I couldn't fight it off if it was!"

Steffo's kicking form lurched forward, obscured by the mass of Zero. "Yoouu aare uuselesss." Zero's distorted voice never changed tone or volume, but Tapper could feel the naked hatred from behind the barrier. There was a shift, a crash, and a desperate coughing fit before the wall of metal and flesh turned and stomped away.

The sounds of coughing ended before the sounds of stomping fully receded, so when Tapper slowly emerged from behind the barrier he found Steffo seated next to a broken display and breathing heavily. He stood, gingerly rubbing his neck, and looked anywhere except at Tapper. "I'm sorry. He's not… he's usually not that bad."

His hushed voice, his hunched stance, his downcast eyes... Steffo normally stood over two meters tall and over 60 centimeters wide at the shoulders, all muscle. Yet right now Tapper could only see him as a scared child, trying to hide in plain view. "Mister Steffo, are you harmed?"

"No, no, I'm fine. This is nothing, he's always trying to toughen me up." Tapper's confusion earned a scoff that made Steffo wince in pain before he continued, "I'm a bulk that doesn't fight. Have you ever heard of a bulk that doesn't fight before?" Steffo looked up at the centerpiece of the warfare exhibit for the first time, a wax figure of an engineered soldier in a proud victory pose, and resentment shined in his eyes. "All anyone can ever see in bulks are mercs and soldiers."

Part of Tapper actually felt at ease in this new somber mood — give Steffo a tall glass of frothy beer, and Tapper would be right at home in consoling a customer after a bad day. "Not all fighting is with violence, Mister Steffo. You fought in your own way to protect me and very likely saved my life, and I thank you for that."

Steffo stood just a little bit taller, his mood already improving. "If only you could convince my brother of that. Oh don't give me that look, we're the only two bulks here. Yeah, we're brothers."

"Then I apologize in advance for any additional strife I place on your familial unit, but I really must prevent him from attacking Fableton."

This time Steffo's wince wasn't from any physical pain. "Are you absolutely sure that he's going to attack Fableton, for real?"

"I did not hear him say so personally, but Mister Rethar gave quite an impassioned speech about attacking Fableton, Belvidere, and everyone else in the area that isn't a part of Zero's organization."

"Rethar... I don't know how, but he became Zero's right-hand man real quick when he joined a few weeks ago, and he's really got it out for Fableton." Tapper detected a growl forming at the edge of Steffo's words, but Steffo sighed and snuffed out any mounting anger.

"It's just as much my fault, too. No Tapper, it really is. We actually grew up in Fableton, and Zero blamed them for making me 'soft' with all the books and schooling. Is Ms. Uxral still teaching? Good, I'm glad. Still, Zero joined Belvidere partly for the money and partly to make me a 'proper bulk,' and when that didn't work out he tossed me in here. But every time I've seen him since he's less... all together, up there. Belvidere feeds him cybernetics like drugs, and if Rethar is all up in his ear about revenge then..." Steffo blinked rapidly and his eyes refocused from the middle distance. "Jeez I'm sorry, I really started rambling."

"That is quite alright Mister Steffo, sometimes we merely require a new ear to work through some troubling ideas."

"I hope you've been enjoying the — oh my!" ASCII's tinny voice preceded their boxy monitor, and after taking one look at the damaged displays they swung in front of Tapper with an accusatory glare on the screen. "Have you been vandalizing my museum!?"

Steffo squeezed his bulky body between the two robots with his arms and voice raised. "Whoa whoa ASCII, it wasn't Tapper! Zero came in and trashed the place, I promise."

ASCII retreated to a more sociable distance, though their face showed an upturned nose. "Hrm, well why didn't you say so? Come along then, let us survey the damages of your brother's latest visit." Steffo picked Tapper up and followed ASCII as they counted off the various pieces of history that Zero crunched under his unwavering path.

"I can salvage the green city model, but the hoverbike is just spare parts now, and it looks like I'll be using those to repair the turnstile. Again. I don't know why I bother at this point…" ASCII's volume suddenly switched from a murmur to just below shouting, with exaggerated enunciation that bordered on sarcasm. "And oh no, it looks like that brute knocked over the Mechanical Evolution exhibit, too? Sorting through this mess is going to take forever!" ASCII's monitor curled up towards the ceiling and the arm thrashed about, knocking over displays and sending robotic limbs flying everywhere as they wailed.

Steffo laughed and picked up the pair of legs that were no longer standing at the top of the pyramid. "Here. Don't outright mention this on camera, and you're good."

Tapper accepted the legs silently, his dancing eyebrows giving all the thanks they could muster. They were disproportionately bulky from the early version of tactile sensors they wore like padding, but that made them solid and robust. These legs weren't going to break down anytime soon.

The only problem, "These will not fit, unfortunately. Do you know if any units here are made by Bowson, Incorporated?"

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

ASCII swung down at this, making an odd huffing sound in response. "Won't fit? Just set your ports to default!"

"I cannot do that without an accredited mechanic to authorize altering my ports."

"Well, then I authorize it."

"How can an information terminal like you access my system? Bowson, Incorporated takes the security of its intellectual property very seriously."

"I most certainly can access your systems, under the Standards in Automaton Repair and Maintenance Act of 2094."

"Perhaps you can on a technicality, but a system as archaic as you surely cannot circumvent a more modern and advanced system like mine?"

A burst of static from ASCII's speakers imitated a gasp while their monitor changed to a face of shock. "Archaic?? I don't care what additional layers of restrictions a small mom-and-pop shop like Bowson installs on their glorified teakettles, they do not outrank federal authorization! Now open up your universal port, that's an order."

Tapper rolled his eyes and moved to open his chest panel, but froze when he noticed Steffo was still present, staring at the two bickering computers with agape fascination. "My apologies, Mister Steffo, but would you please mind not watching this process? The location of my universal port is protected information." Steffo turned on a silent heel and didn't budge, except for one flinch when a giggle caught him off guard. Tapper didn't expect his port to tickle!

"Hold still you... there, that's the ticket." Tiny metal components around Tapper's pelvic unit dislodged themselves and fell to the ground, leaving the contact surface in a more uniform pattern without any indication that Bowson had ever placed their own interlocking mechanisms over it. "See? No hotshot corporate operating system can ignore federal law."

Tapper wasn't about to openly thank ASCII and just wiggled his eyebrows instead, their confused response an additional bonus. He slotted the legs in, and this time they attached immediately with at least a trickle of feedback. Steffo leaned down to help when Tapper struggled to stand, offering a solid brace until his legs stopped shaking.

[Debuff: Numbed Legs

Those annoying pins and needles give you -1.5m of movement and -1 to Dexterity for balancing checks.]

"Thank you, these legs are so archaic that they lack adequate data flow. I believe you would compare it to your legs falling asleep. Still, is there any way that I can pay for... the damages?"

Steffo shrugged up at ASCII, who harrumphed and said, "As a representative of the Department of Museums and Libraries I cannot accept direct payment from the public. But if you enjoyed your experience at my museum, then I would suggest that you please exit through the gift shop. Thank you for your patronage." With that, ASCII turned to study one of the broken displays and ended the conversation.

Steffo managed to remain silent as he helped Tapper walk, but he lost all composure once they entered a small room full of small colorful trinkets. "Okay, what the hell was that? Both of you were so catty."

Tapper shrugged as he perused the shelves. "Truthfully, Mister Steffo, I am not sure. I believe that because ASCII is not a humanoid, my programming on what constitutes acceptable social behavior was not quite as rigorous as when I'm speaking to you. It was actually quite exhilarating!"

"Well, whatever it was you two sounded like old friends. It was hilarious! Just don't talk like that to most strangers."

"I do not believe I was acting very friendly, Mister Steffo."

"Friends will sometimes pretend to not be friendly, yeah."

Tapper's hand froze, a curious hat that resembled the solar system completely forgotten. "I do not understand."

"It's like sarcasm, but... backwards, I guess? Friends might pretend to be mean because they trust that they actually like each other. I know it's weird, ASCII had some trouble — hey, are you okay?"

"Did you say 'friend' as a noun? Because I do not seem to have that word in my internal dictionary. I do have 'friendly' as an adjective, to act in a kind manner, but not a noun."

"Weird. But friends are people that just, you know, like each other and enjoy spending time together. Just because they want to, not because of business or politics connections, or something. Like how families are supposed to be, only you get to choose them."

Tapper's eyebrows knit together as he recorded that information. "Thank you for that, but this is not the first time I have discovered my dictionary lacks common words. Might this gift shop sell a dictionary that I could purchase?"

Steffo scratched the back of his head in thought. "Not specifically that, no. But they sell the entire exhibit as a collection of articles, I think it includes a built-in dictionary in the reference materials." He indicated a bookshelf packed with rows of identical thin cardboard boxes, underneath a sign that said 'Take home 200 years of history today!'

Tapper pulled one box from the shelf and looked at the cover, a random mishmash of palm trees, statue busts, and wavy lines surrounding a tablet in the center, and scoffed at the price tag. "Only 0.1 credits? How can they afford to keep everything so cheap?"

"I dunno, a couple hundred years of inflation?" Steffo answered with a shrug. Tapper didn't question the logic, but he did grab a novelty backpack off another rack and cram every tablet into the bag that he could fit. The backpack couldn't fit on his actual back next to his seltzer tanks, but the bag worked perfectly as a frontpack. "Tapper, you don't need to... oh whatever. This is why I'm friends with robots, you guys get so quirky," Steffo chuckled at the apparent humor he found in Tapper.

A spot of warmth in emotional feedback paused Tapper's packing. "Are we friends? Yes, I believe I would enjoy that." All told, the backpack plus 20 tablets cost a total of only 2.67 credits after taxes, which translated to 2 silver and 67 copper out of his inventory. A distinction that didn't make a difference, another oddity added to the growing list of questions that must wait for safer times.

"Are you sure you're ready to go? Your walking is still not really, uh, normal. Those legs might be busted, we should try a different pair."

"I was not built with legs, and have been actively developing my own walking program. I am actually quite proud that this system of mobility is becoming increasingly natural for me," Tapper responded. It felt wonderful that he could explain his first foray in self-modification to a trusted humanoid as they walked, until he realized that Steffo wasn't following him.

Steffo had stopped just inside the doorframe separating the gift shop from the hallway, his advanced musculature visibly trembling with fear and anxiety. "Mister Steffo, what is the problem?"

Steffo started to fidget, his eyes downcast. "I can't... I can't go out there. What you saw is nothing compared to what Zero will do if he catches me messing with his crew outside the museum."

To Tapper's own surprise, his emotional response to Steffo was annoyance. He already agreed that Zero needed to be stopped, what logical difference did it make for him to wait in the museum? But Tapper tempered his emotions, his responses were rarely logical and organic beings likely had even less control over them. Instead Tapper neutralized his friendly salesman tone and said, "It is quite alright, you have already aided me immensely, and if we fight in our own way then we must also fight within our own limits. Thank you, my friend, and goodbye. Oh!"

His 180° turn became a 360° spin as Tapper kicked out to a sudden backwards jerk. He finished, "And if my proprietor passes by, please let her know I was here. Her name is Miss Phanya, she's approximately 2 meters tall with a dark complexion, golden hair, and an eye patch. Thank you!" Tapper spun a final time and skip-march-kicked down the hallway, without any heed given to Steffo's gawking.