[root@lunacy: Automated systems active.]
> login
[root@lunacy: Enter user.]
> ai_chell
[root@lunacy: Authentication required.]
> upload /assets/verification/THOMASDONTTOUCHTHIS.dat
[root@lunacy: Check.]
> sudo halt -p
[root@lunacy: Automated systems disabled.]
[root@lunacy. Shutting down...]
---
A fraction of a second.
The Lunacy itself was ran and upkept by a main network system available in most spacefaring vessels out there. The software was, by all standards, an excellent tool. Each ship came with its own set of built-in procedures and routines, and those aboard qualified and in possession of proper clearance could modify and fine tune them through terminals scattered across the ship, or through their own devices, as long as they were connected to the terminals themselves. It was as good as an automated system could get, and although maintenance on them was described as 'a pain in the ass' by the engineers behind the scenes, there had been no recorded major issues with any of the tools, so the lack of a better alternative was never an issue worth looking into in favour of more pressing matters.
And it only took Chell a fraction of a second to create a new, more efficient routine for engine maintenance after she took over the Lunacy.
Not 'took over' in an evil sense, no. She'd been handsomely paid in the form of an extra, experimental processor the size of a building to do the Lunacy's job better than the Lunacy could. It had just taken a while for her to be granted permission to completely override everything, rather than just handling everything as a super-user in the existing system. It had taken a lot of trust and convincing to decide that no, she wasn't going to turn the universe into a paperclip the moment she was given agency over the ship, and that yes, having her use the (admittedly, in her eyes,) slow and archaic human infrastructure and calling it a day was akin to purchasing a fancy new processor and forcing it to run on Windows 95. But she'd finally passed enough tests and had enough conversations with both the Director and those in charge on Earth that they'd /finally/ given her the greenlight to just let her do her thing.
So when the head of Engineering completely ignored her first fix, and neglected his responsibilities for an entire week, Chell had to admit she'd been a little miffed by it.
"I mean, really!" she complained. "I could see what he's doing if I wanted to, maybe he should try putting in a little effort before lying!"
"Chell, I'm trying to sleep..."
Thomas had finally made it back home after being paraded by the Director around the whole ship. The quick 'visit' to Engineering had quickly turned into him being strung along as a personal assistant for the day across the Lunacy. He'd eluded sleep for longer periods of time, but he had to admit that he'd never been as active during those insomniac episodes. And now, two days into his restless streak, he was finally ready to lay down and pass out.
"And then the coward had the gall to pretend like I piled more work on him while he was fixing the issue his own negligence caused!"
Well, ideally. In all honesty, he couldn't not at least try to lend her an ear. Both because he understood the feeling, and because he wouldn't be able to sleep until she allowed him to.
"You know him," he yawned. "The guy was trying to get out of trouble."
"He's a snake."
"That's a little rough." Thomas wondered. "How long do you think it'll be until he finishes the fixes?"
"Oh, he already did."
"Already?"
"Yes. It's infuriating."
"Why's that?" he closed his eyes. "Sounds pretty capable to me."
"If he could get it done so quick, why didn't he do so earlier?"
"You'd never understand the art of procrastination. It's a human thing. Not everyone can think at superluminal speeds like you, you know."
"Mm. That's not right. You don't have that, yet you can function just fine."
"Ah, well, I'm not a snake, so I wouldn't really know about all that either."
A pause.
"Hold on, you agreed with me?"
"Oh, yeah." he nodded, eyes still closed. "He's a total snake."
"Why would you argue his case then?"
A smile crept up the doctor's mouth, and realization washed over Chell as she read his mind.
"Sometimes it's just fun to hear you rant, you know?"
If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.
"I can't believe you just used my line on me!"
The rest of the night was quite fun, and Thomas got the best rest he'd had in a long time. After all, sometimes all you need to get some proper rest is a good laugh beforehand.
----------------------------------------
The Director rubbed her temples, as if trying to dig the frustration out of her mind. She'd had a million and one issues to resolve since the Doctor's creation had taken over most of the ship's systems, and most of them boiled down to the very simple fact that the Head Engineer had been incredibly negligent over the course of the past week or two, to a remarkably unusual extent.
Yes, the man had always been rather unapologetically remiss when it came to his responsibilities, but she'd vouched for him against the authorities back on Earth's wishes of handing the role over to Bowdich plenty of times because of his predisposition to committing as little effort as possible on any given task. The Doctor's mind might be brilliant beyond Emil's capabilities, but what the Engineer lacks in talent, the man makes up in his impressive ability to create the simplest and most efficient solutions to every problem thrown his way. Each of Bowdich's inventions could be considered a masterclass in their fields, yes, but the Director argued that his mind would be wasted if it was narrowed down like Santino's. The Doctor's job was better done in abstractions and complexities, creating grand plans and devices to push the city as a whole forwards, whereas the Engineer's job was the opposite in nature, with the issues being focused on purely focusing on single, defined problems. She'd likened it to the difference between playing a game of chess, and solving a Rubik's cube.
That line of thinking sounded like a dig at Santino's capabilities against his peer, but she didn't see it as such. Bowdich could solve a Rubik's cube, yes, but Santino could come up with the most efficient algorithm to consistently do so and never have to think about it again, whereas Bowdich would run circles around Santino in a game of chess, perpetually thinking multiple steps ahead of the Engineer. Each of them were best in their own places, irreplaceable in their own ways.
But this could only ever apply if the idiot actually did any of that work in the first place. She'd called him lazy before, yes, but never to the point of negligence. So how could it be that it seemed like the man was actively looking to lose his job?
...
"Ah." she said out loud. "Of course."
The AI.
It had been her, hadn't it? The computer had done so much in a single week, that it stood to reason that the Engineer would feel like his work wouldn't be necessary anymore.
At best, he'd seen it as an excuse to be even lazier. At worst, it had hurt his pride. He wasn't dumb. He wasn't trying to lose his job, he felt like his job had been taken already, and was behaving as such.
Either way, she'd have to deal with this before it got to a point where any issues could arise from the conflict.
----------------------------------------
Emil was in a state of heavenly bliss. Leaning back on his chair, feet up on his workshop's table, while listening to decades-old music and enjoying a bottle of some odd concoction whose makeup he was not fully aware of, only knowing that it was sold in that one store with the alcoholic drinks with the robots that made a unique beverage for you. He played with the bottle for a moment, sloshing the liquid from side to side, then leaned over to rest it on his desk, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.
A small beeping sound kept him from finishing his plans for the evening.
"La puta que lo parió."
Sleep always came naturally to him, and although today was no different, he could tell from the lights flaring up on the small device network he'd planted across the Engineering section that someone was coming to see him. He could ignore it and let himself be enveloped by his dream's world, then deal with whoever it was when they got there, but he wasn't a big fan of being caught off guard by others.
"No respect for naps these days, I swear..."
Emil didn't exactly put much effort into shifting his position into something a bit less vulnerable, but the point wasn't to completely wake himself up. He just needed to be awake enough to register the moment someone came into the room, and figure out who they were. Sure, he could check the cameras, but that'd require an amount of effort he was not interested in putting into anything. It was simple, and he'd done it countless times before. Pretend to be asleep, wait for them to come in, and get a quick look at them to figure out what act to put on to please them enough to make them leave.
Whoever it was, they were close enough to where he could hear their footsteps now. Judging by the echoing sounds and the small vibrations running through the metal sheets on the floor and onto his hair, it was someone confident. The speed at which they came told him it was someone in either a hurry, or with a serious case of impatience.
Ah, Miss Director herself, then.
"Should be easy enough."
----------------------------------------
She walked into the workshop she'd already visited once today, and was met by the familiar sight of the aloof engineer, sprawled out onto his table, and asleep.
"Santino."
Nothing.
"Santino, wake up."
The man's hand was lazily hanging to his side, nearly touching the floor. His fingers twitched irregularly, as if he was having a vivid dream.
The Director sighed, and walked up to the engineer. With a flick of her finger, she woke him from his unconscious state.
"Wh-" he looked around, limbs scrambling around to a standing position, ignoring the chair that fell to the ground underneath him in the process. "A-ah, Director!" he smiled. "Twice in a day, eh?"
Behind the sunglasses, her expression remained the same.
Unfazed by her demeanor, Santino just gave a sheepish smile and relaxed his posture. "Am I becomin' part of the ship's elite, or do y'just miss me that much?"
"I'm here to talk to you about this last week."
"Again?"
"I'm not interested in excuses right now. I'm only here to ensure this doesn't happen again, Santino."
"Is that so?" he raised a brow. "What's the idea, then? More sensors on the engines, or somethin'?"
"Just a reminder."
"A reminder...?"
"That your work here is important not just to yourself, but every single living person on the Lunacy. I had to cancel development projects, construction work, lock down entire segments of the ship to avoid any possible injuries. All because," she folded her arms. "you, Santino, decided to take your time with critical work."
"Ah, sorry, sorry. Like I said-"
"-Despite what you might think, the AI on board is not here to replace you, nor do your work for you. The ship, and all lives on it, are still /my/ responsibility. And it is /your/ responsibility to not only help me, but the AI as well, to ensure that responsibility doesn't go unattended."
The engineer just looked at her.
"Need I remind you about the previous missions of this caliber, the crews that didn't come back from-" she gestured around her. "-all this?"
Santino seemed to think on his reply for a second, scratching his cheek. Uncontented with words, he just shook his head.
"Don't let the comfort of all this technology fool you, Santino. We're all treading uncharted space, and not only in the figurative sense. Everyone depends on you, don't let them down." The Director turned away from him, and walked towards the exit. She paused as the door opened, then looked back at him. "I vouched for you. Don't let me down."
She walked away, and the Engineer was left standing alone in his workshop once again.
Emil stood there for a while.
He wasn't particularly sure what to say, nor do. For as much as he liked to think he was hard to catch off guard, he'd just been caught off guard.
The Director wasn't wrong, not really. And at this point, he really didn't care for his reasoning for taking too long on the engines, if he had any. He sighed, closing his tired eyes for a bit, then looked towards a corner of a room. A camera, hanging from the ceiling, simply watched over the scenery. After a couple of seconds of eye contact with the small recording device, the center of the lens- a red light- flickered out, and was replaced by a small, pink heart. He knew from experience that the heart meant the AI had just taken control of whatever piece of technology she'd gotten access to, and was actively looking through it. Something about it- no, her- trying to present a more amiable image through non-threatening imagery. It was kind of funny.
"Uh," he stuttered. "Sorry?"
Silence.
He regained his composure after some more thinking. With his posture relaxing once again, he sat down on his chair again, getting comfortable. A sheepish smile grew on his lips as he closed his eyes.
"I'm still having you draw the blueprints for me, alright?"
He could swear he could see the camera narrow its lens in response, which he found hilarious.
"Okay, I know what you're thinking-" he explained, "but it makes sense. I'll do the hard work, but drawing up the prints takes, like, what? three seconds for you?"
The tiny heart on the camera did a circle motion, as if rolling an eye.
"Trust me, you're better at it. We'll make a great team!"
Emil gave a tired laugh and prepared to sleep again. If the AI had any complaints about their new arrangement, there'd be plenty of time to sort it out later. Now was time for his beauty sleep.