Novels2Search
The Lord of the Stars
Chapter 7 - Inner Balance

Chapter 7 - Inner Balance

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John chuckled. “See you!” he said with a wide grin on his face to Alexander, Constantine, Sara and Nicole, as he entered his room. He let out a deep breath. “Oh, what a day!”. He couldn’t help but smile thinking about the fun they had. But it was already late at night and he had to go sleep. Sorcerers did not have days off.

John quickly undressed and stepped into the shower. The sensation of steamy water always helped him relax after a long day. He felt his muscles relaxing and his breathing becoming slower. He closed his eyes. For a brief moment, he could see his home. He tried to touch it, his eyes full of hope and with a bright smile on his face, only to realize that it was simply his imagination. He let out a sigh. His eyes were now full of despair, his smile had disappeared.

John walked out of the bath, dressed in his night garment as quickly as he had undressed and laid on the bed. He let out a long, drawn out sigh. He gazed at the ceiling. He was standing still and silent, his face having a cold, blank expression. He seemed detached from his surroundings. He tried to keep his eyes open, but for a few seconds he closed them. Then he saw them: his parents. His father Jonathan sitting on his wooden chair and smoking his pipe. His mother Martha cooking a delicious meal whose fragrant scent filled the room.

John opened his eyes as quickly as he had closed them. He discarded at once that image from his mind. He tried his best to block it, to put behind his past life, to erase those images of his parents. All his memories of them, good and bad, sweet and bitter. Everything about them but his desire for revenge. Even though by killing James he had ‘avenged’ them, he did not feel a sense of closure. John had no wish to face his past, no wish to be reminded what he lost, no wish to come to terms with the loss of his parents and home.

Yet in moments such as this, when he was all alone, there were cracks on his mental wall. It would momentarily collapse, allowing glimpses of his past to pass through the cracks and forcing him to face them. For now he was able to block them but for how long could he continue doing this? He sighed as he thought of this. It was all he could do.

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The Capital-Class Helian Cruiser floated through the myriad of asteroids – ranging from tiny rocks to almost moon-sized – of the AKL-89 region. The giant plasma cannons of the vessel fired at the smaller asteroids getting in their way, clearing a path for the gargantuan starship to traverse – and scan – the area.

The cruiser was traversing through this region of space at a low constant acceleration of 0.2 g, as it needed to move at a slower pace than normal to thoroughly search the area for pirate presence. This constant acceleration in a straight line gave the appearance of a gravitational pull in the direction opposite of the acceleration; the pull was the manifestation of the inertia of the objects inside the ship. Thus, the linear acceleration gave the appearance of a gravity field which was uniform throughout the cruiser.

The admiral of the Helian cruiser was standing still and silent on the bridge, observing the dark expanse of space before him. A young man, in his mid-twenties, with thin frame, short blonde hair and bright blue eyes, this was his first major mission. He had served as aide-to-the-admiral in two cruisers before, but only in reconnaissance missions that did not entail any actual battle situation. Worse still, his crew was inexperienced and mostly made up of new recruits: pirates not being considered that big of a threat, there was no reason to send an experienced crew. He tried to hide his nervousness from his crew, and did succeed in large part, with the exception of a slight tingling in his feet.

The admiral grabbed from his pocket a small glass bottle. He opened it and placed a pill on his palm before putting the bottle back in his pocket. He then gulped the tiny green pill. He let out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. ‘So good...’ The V-DD1 pills were distributed to Helian officers to counteract the psychological effects of long-term travel in space, such as fatigue, sleep loss and disruption of the circadian rhythm, the natural internal process that regulated the sleep-wake cycle. The admiral had been suffering for some time from such issues, but he faced them with a steady consumption of V-DD1 pills.

“Admiral!” a voice was heard. Admiral Kerz turned around to see his, also young, aide saluting him.

“Trumman,” Kerz calmly replied, “I assume you have the report I ordered?”

“Yes. Our sensors do not pick up any abnormal activity in the sector so far,” Trumman reported. “It seems that the reports of the intelligence service may have been overstated.”

“The key word here is ‘so far’. We have still a large territory to scan. We shouldn’t allow ourselves be lulled into a false sense of security. In fact, I want battle readiness to be increased.”

“We are always battle ready, sir."

"Not good enough. I want everyone doing double shifts. No one should be sleeping for more than one hour."

"If I may be allowed to make a suggestion, I believe a better course of action would be to send fighters ahead to scout for pirate activity. This should allow us to cover a much larger territory faster, while keeping our soldiers refreshed for combat. Exhausted crewmen don't usually perform at their best.”

‘I am already being questioned by my men?’ Kerz thought as he clenched his fists in frustration. In the academy, he had learned how to deal with such situation but nevertheless it was frustrating for him to be questioned so early in the mission. “I am the Admiral here and I am the one who has the final say. Lone fighters will be vulnerable and their sensors are weak anyway. Understood?”

“Place the ship on yellow alert!” Trumman barked at the bridge officers, who at once relayed the orders to their underlings. He found the order to be hyperbolic considering that their sensors hadn’t picked anything yet, but Kerz was the boss here and his wishes had to be respected. Trumman could only force a slight smile on his face and pretend that he trusted his superior’s judgment.

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Only a few days had passed since John had finally managed to get the hang of how to unleash energy waves, and he was already making significant progress on that front. He would test his ability on various objects in the training hall. This time the unfortunate test subject would be a metallic chair located right on the middle of the hall.

John closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. He had a harder time than usual concentrating, afraid that once he let himself go, he would witness once again images from his past, like in his room. With great mental struggle, he managed to temporarily subdue his mind.

He breathed the way Iris had shown him to and then waved his hand. An invisible energy wave was sent out. Its only indication was the strong gust of wind it caused. The wave hit the chair and sent it flying all the way to the right corner of the hall.

“You’ve improved greatly,” Iris said, “but I can sense your uneasiness.”

“It’s nothing,” John lied. “I was just anxious about succeeding in this exercise.”

“One of the benefits of having been an Alliance interrogator is that you know when someone is lying,” the sorceress smirked. “And you are not that good of a liar.”

“Why do you care? I came with you here and I am following to the letter your instructions when it comes to training. I don’t see why you feel the need to intervene into my personal affairs!” John let out a sigh of frustration.

“I don’t give a fuck about your personal affairs, as long as they don’t affect your training.” John hadn’t seen Iris so pissed off since Bremman. “Whatever is bothering you, it is affecting your progress. You can either tell me what it is and I may be able to help you in some way or you can keep it to yourself but I expect you to put it behind you and not allow it to interfere in your training. Is that understood?”

“I… don’t you ever miss home?”

“What?” Iris repeated, taken aback by this sudden personal question.

“I miss it. Don’t you?”

“Well… I never really had a home to miss. Elves could never stay in one place for too long. My parents were no exception…” Iris’ eyes were dreary, losing momentarily her remarkable emotional self-control. John could see the pain in her eyes. Memories dormant for too long resurfaced in her mind. Iris was quick to recompose herself – at least as well as she could – and continued. “You are not the only one whose parents were killed. My parents too were murdered by Helian troopers. Elves are considered a ‘menace’ you see… I managed to escape only to be captured by the thugs of a local potentate who wanted an ‘exotic’ slave. I was only a little girl at that time.”

“I am sorry,” John said, almost whispering. “I didn’t mean to bring mem-“

“No need to apologize. You weren’t the one who enslaved me.”

John felt a sudden numbness. His throat was dry and he felt unable to speak. “I…”

“I did not tell you all this to get your pity – I don’t need it – nor to make you feel bad or to say that your own tragedy is unimportant. I am only saying that just like others who have suffered tragedies have managed to move on and get on with their lives, you will have to do the same thing. Constantly agonizing over what could have been done or feeling sorry for yourself will not help you, nor will constantly reminding yourself of what you lost. You need to focus on the present.”

“It is hard. I am trying but…”

“I know it is hard. Believe me; I know exactly how you feel. It won’t be easy to move on with your life; the traumas of your past will always be there, deep inside your mind and ready to resurface when you are at your lowest point. But you can try. I never had someone to talk to about this when I was your age. You have.”

She grabbed his hand. Her hands were delicate and smooth. John felt his heart racing and his breath becoming faster. He couldn’t explain why this was happening to him.

“Thank,” he managed to say with great effort. “I… would like very much to talk with you. About this… I cannot help but feel responsible for what happened to my parents, for what happened to Arcadis. If it wasn’t for me, all those people would not be dea-“

“It wasn’t your fault,” Iris interrupted him. “We already had this conversation back on Actium. The fault lies wholly with those who committed those atrocities. Don’t blame yourself for the actions of others.”

“But if I had been more powerf-“

“However powerful you may have been, you still would not have managed to face on your own the entire Helian army. There was nothing you could have done. You need to accept that. As I told back on Actium, the only thing you can do is to focus on your training so that one day you may bring to justice those who caused all these disasters.”

John gave a slight nod of approval. He understood what Iris was saying, and she was making sense, but he was still unable to shake his feelings of guilt. ‘I will just have to try and focus completely on the training. Hopefully this will distract me enough and I will stop thinking about the past.’

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The metallic door opened before the orc pilot. Xar was wearing a g-suit, made up of grey tightly-fitting trousers with inflatable bladders, which could press firmly on the abdomen and legs and thus restrict the draining of blood away from the brain during periods of high acceleration, and a lighter shirt. Such a suit was usually restricted to pilots of fighters rather than those of other space-faring vessels, as fighter starships would have to move at very high speed and perform series of complex maneuvers in dogfights.

Xar walked inside the small but cozy office of the lieutenant running this military facility. The man was in his early thirties but his face was weary, his eyes heavy and he was showing signs of premature ageing; Xar could even spot a few strands of grey hair. He could tell that this man had seen his fair share of battles.

“Welcome!” the man said. The Alliance officer was gracious enough to offer a drink, pouring it carefully. He had to pour the drink off to the side to get it to land in the glass; the alcohol stream curved to the right instead of moving into a straight line, a result of the Coriolis force, an inertial force making objects in artificial-gravity environments produced by spinning move in curves. The officer handed it over to Xar, as the orc sat to one of the comfortable cushioned chairs of the office.

“Thank you for the drink,” Xar replied as he gulped his alcoholic beverage. It was cheap and did not taste all that good, but Xar was happy that he at least had something to drink.

“Not much of a facility, eh?”

Xar smiled politely. “Not really, but war isn’t meant to be comfortable.”

“You are right. The entire budget went to making this damn place spin and we were left with crumbs. I sometimes wonder how the fuck we manage to keep this place from collapsing”

Xar could tell from the rather outdated equipment he saw around the base. He was at one of the more than a dozen asteroid bases of the Alliance in Sector AKL-89. His fleet of Alliance fighters was being refueled while his men were resting and preparing for the upcoming attack on the Helian cruiser.

The asteroid base enjoyed artificial gravity thanks to the artificially-induced spinning of the asteroid, a process that had taken the Alliance many months to accomplish. A metal mesh was surrounding the asteroid to prevent it from disintegrating, as the spin placed great stress of the structural integrity of the asteroid. Much of the material used came from the asteroid belt itself, with its great abundance of metallic asteroids. The resulting gravity was a low one of 0.4 g, but it was far more acceptable than an environment of zero gravity. The entrance to the asteroid was sealed by a force field, preventing loss of oxygen.

Xar’s right leg was bouncing, moving fast up and down. The Alliance officer chuckled at the sight of it. “Don’t worry!” he said. “When the cruiser approaches, our long-range sensors will pick it up and inform you to prepare your squad. Until that happens, you can relax.”

“I hope they do.”

“Look, we may have suffered some budget cuts and we may be using in many cases outdated equipment, but our sensors are ok. It is the one piece of equipment here that is up to date; and for good reason.”

“I hope the jamming disruptors are up to date too; without jamming their systems, it will be one tough battle to win.”

“Don’t worry; I am fairly certain our disruptors will do their work. And then you will do yours and blow up the bastards.”

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John had to admit that his talk with Iris helped him focus on his training. He knew deep inside him that he hadn’t really come to terms with his past, but for now he was able to focus on the present.

Iris had led him to the training hall for their daily meditation. “Meditation is not about simply connecting with the Qi around us,” Iris explained. “It is about getting our mind and emotions into order, allowing us to experience a peace of mind. Open your psyche to the wider world, allow yourself to touch upon the sensations of the universe, to feel the Qi imbued everywhere around you.”

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John sat down cross-legged and began meditating, allowing himself to feel the Qi all around him. Ever since he had opened his mind to this new world of magic, he realized how ‘alive’ everything felt; all things were imbued with Qi and connected with each other, forming the intricate pattern of life. Iris had told him that sorcerers could listen to the currents of the universe, allowing them to sense the voices and emotions of all around them, to feel the vastness of life’s existence.

He hadn’t been able to reach that stage of affinity with the natural world yet. He could though sense some emotions in the room; serenity, happiness, warmth. He could feel the warmness of life beaming all around him.

Iris touched John’s hand, signaling him to come back from his trance-like meditation. Her hand was soft and her gentle touch was always soothing to him. He slowly opened his eyes and got up from his cross-legged meditating position.

“That was so… serene yet lively,” John said. “I felt a sense of calmness I hadn’t felt since before…” He wanted to say ‘before my parents died’ but those words couldn’t come out of his mouth; the emotional wound was still too fresh. “Yet, at the same time, I felt so alive. Everything in this room, even the walls and chairs, had a life of their own, imbued with Qi. I could mentally touch upon their cold, metallic exteriors.”

“That is only a first step towards discovering a much wider world,” Iris replied with a warm smile on her face. “The universe is so vast and so full of life that sometimes it can feel that we are insignificant but we all have our role to play in life.”

“I could also feel warmth and happiness; from you mainly.”

“It is because of you,” Iris confessed. “You aren’t the only one who needed to speak to someone about their past and their emotions. It is good having someone I can talk about such things.”

“What about Darren? He is your friend.”

“Darren talking about the past and emotions? He would rather barge into a Helian fort on his own!”

“Glad you don’t find me annoying anymore,” John chuckled.

“Well… when I first met you, you were somewhat of a nuisance.”

“Hey, I should be the one complaining; you kidnapped me!” John mockingly protested as they both laughed. “Speaking of Darren, how did you get to meet him? It wouldn’t have been easy to meet the hero of the Alliance.”

“He wasn’t a celebrity back then. He was still rising in the ranks. He… saved me from space pirates.” There was a slight quiver in her voice.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to intrude,” John frantically apologized.

“No worries. Darren saved me about fifteen years ago. I was only eighteen years old back then. I… was a slave of orc pirates. My captors had abducted me from the household where I had been held as a slave. I was exotic, being one of the few elves still alive.” Iris recalled how her body jarred with each blow, how the pain seared through her skin and took away every feeling of safety she ever had. That’s how her captors disciplined her. She remembered how scared and desperate she had been, praying that she would die so that the pain would end. “One day Darren, all alone and armed only with a laser pistol, took them out and freed me. One of those pirates had murdered one of his friends a few months ago and he was there for revenge. Yet he did not simply ignore me; as soon as he saw me caged and chained, he freed me and took me with him. We went thought many adventures until we finally reached the Alliance base.”

“I already respected him but hearing how he saved you makes me like this guy even more,” John replied. “Wish you hadn’t gone through all this.”

Iris smiled, her smile being bittersweet. “What happened in the past doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve gotten over it. What is important is that I survived and got stronger. Now I cannot be bullied by such scumbags.”

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Kerz just could not shake away the feeling that something bad was about to happen. He couldn’t explain it in logical terms but it was what his gut was telling him. He felt cold sweat on his forehead and he could hear his beating heart. His fingers were restless. Kerz could hear a voice in his head, a faint one, almost like a whisper.

“Sir!”

‘That’s the voice!’ Kerz thought.

“Sir!”

Kerz turned around. It was Trumman. He could see the doubt in the eyes of his aide. ‘He must think I am mentally deranged…’

“Sir, are you alright?” Trumman asked.

“Yes!” Kerz was quick to reply, his voice strict and authoritative. “I was simply thinking about some battle tactics we could use in case we finally meet those damn pirates.”

“About that… our sensors haven’t picked up anything yet, aside from a very weak signal that most likely can be attributed to natural phenomena. About the double shifts...” Trumman could see that his superior was giving him a harsh look, but he didn’t stop. It was his duty to give the best advice he could. “Being on yellow alert for so long has taken its toll on the crew. Many have been up and without sleep for almost four days; tired crewmen aren’t renowned for their efficiency… Our sensors are capable of covering much territory and will immediately alert us to any pirate presence in the region. Our targeting systems are fully operational and ready for combat. As soon as we are alerted, we will be able to easily crush those scum. No need to exhaust and demoralize the crew over nothing.”

“Fine!” Kerz barked. “Return to normal shifts.” Kerz finally backed down due to the pressure. His gut feeling was telling him otherwise and he was furious that his orders were being disobeyed, but he feared he could become a hated figure among his crew and this was never a good sign of command. He wanted his men to respect him and love him, not hate him.

As Trumman was relaying the admiral’s orders to the bridge officers, Kerz was gulping another V-DD1 pill. “Great…” he whispered. He was finally able to allow his mind to wander, forgetting about his mission and his disagreements with the crew. His muscles were relaxing and his breathing was slow and deep. That’s why he loved those pills. Military regulations placed strict restrictions: officers could consume only one pill every three days, and only in cases of serious symptoms. Kerz, though, played fast and loose with regulations on this subject. Consuming V-DD1 was one of his few pleasures.

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“Pour another one!” Xar said and the lieutenant filled again his glass. The orc gulped at once the alcoholic beverage. “Nice!”

“I recommend that you stop your drinking. We wouldn’t want you to get drunk before the attack,” the lieutenant laughed.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

“It seems that the time has come for your attack,” the lieutenant hastily said after pressing a button to stop the ringing. “Our sensors indicate that the Helians are nearby. Feedback from our jamming devices also indicates that we’ve successfully sabotaged their systems. You better get to your ships quickly; it won’t be long before they realize we are jamming them.”

“Nice… I was getting kind of bored to be honest. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a cruiser to blow up!” Xar saluted the lieutenant and then rushed outside the office, heading for the decks.

The man smiled. “Quite the character… I do hope he can back up his words with action though.”

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Kerz was admiring the myriad of bright stars before him. He was trying to put himself at ease, but he just couldn’t. He had a feeling that he had made a terrible mistake listening to Trumman. ‘I should have upheld the yellow alert status.’

“Sir…” Trumman said, timidly trembling and barely able to speak. The young aide felt his throat dry. “I…”

“What?” Kerz asked as he turned around to face his subordinate.

"A squadron of fighters has suddenly appeared before us and it seems they are about to attack us."

“What?!” Kerz barked, his face red and fuming with anger. “Why didn’t our sensors pick them up?”

“Our sensors have apparently been… jammed.”

“How?! Pirates do not have the tech to jam our sensors.”

“It seems that the squadron belongs to… the Alliance.”

“I thought that our enemies were pirates! I wasn’t informed that the Alliance had a presence in the region… If we were on yellow alert, we would be prepared to face them regardless of this! It is all your fault!”

“Sir, there is no reason to panic. Our men will be ready in a few moments. Meanwhile, we can fire at them with our plasma cannons.”

“Do so!”

Trumman gave the order, and swept the cold sweat from his forehead. A ringing sound echoed in the bridge and one of the officers got up from his seat and raced to Kerz and Trumman. “Sirs, it seems that our targeting systems are… also jammed. It will take at least a few minutes before we can fix the problem.”

Kerz grabbed Trumman by his shirt and punched his fist right on his face. Trumman fell on the ground, his mouth bleeding and whimpering in pain.

“I told you! But you did not listen to me, did you?!” Kerz screamed. He began laughing like a madman, his laughter echoing across the bridge. None of the officers present dare to intervene or speak. “‘The crew is tired,’ you said. ‘No need for yellow alert,’ ‘there are no enemies here’. What do you have to say now?” He spat at his aide, who was still lying on the floor and whimpering.

“We can still m-“

Before Trumman could even finish his sentence, Kerz was kicking repeatedly his face with frenzy fury. Trumman was screaming in pain. His nose had been broken and his face was a bloody pulp.

“We… we… have…time…to…” Trumman finally managed to say before losing his senses.

“Are the systems on our fighters jammed too?” Kerz asked the terrified officer who was present.

“No!” the man was quick to reply, visibly shaken by Trumman’s fate.  “They should be functional. It seems only the cruiser was affected.”

“Launch all our fighters! Now!” Kerz shouted. “Decimate the terrorist scum! Have the ship placed on red alert!”

The officer nodded, relaying the order at the other officers on the bridge. A loud ringing began echoing throughout the ship. Pilots were rushing to the decks, heading for their ships.

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The Alliance spacecrafts had decelerated in advance midway during their travel from the asteroid base, in order to be able to come at near full stop when they reached their destination. The fighters were organized into a steady and tight formation and waiting for orders. Xar’s fighter was at the center of this phalanx of starships.

“Advance!” Xar shouted through his comnlink device at his fellow pilots. The Alliance fighters swooped down at the Helian cruiser, and pounded it with a barrage of laser fire, blowing up turrets and softening up its defenses. Bursts of fire were exploding in all decks as the cruiser was getting rocked by the Alliance fire.

“Retreat!” Xar ordered as, one after the other, the Helian starfighters were launching from their flagship and lunging at the Alliance fighters with maximum speed, like falcons attacking their prey. The Alliance starships were at full retreat as the Helian fighters were approaching, like a swarm of bees. They were charging at the Alliance fleet at full speed, some of their leading fighters already firing their laser beams at them.

Suddenly, Xar ordered his fighters to make a sudden turnaround. “Fire!” Xar barked, as the Helian fleet came into the right distance. All Alliance fighters opened fire at once, their concentrated laser beams decimating the first wave of Helian fighters. The blinding light of the explosions temporarily painted white the vast dark expanse of space.

“Delta Squad, charge!” Xar shouted. The Alliance fighters broke by pairs and spiraled out to engage the second wave of Helian fighters. Yellow dots criss-crossed across space as the fighters engaged in a furious dogfight. As the speed with which the fighters were swooping in and out was massive, the pilots had to rely on AI computers to aid in targeting; they would pinpoint at once the possible targets, allowing the pilots to fire at them. Thanks to their g-suits negating to a large extent the impact of g-forces on them, the pilots were able to maintain their senses.

Xar himself was leading his fighter through the chaotic dogfight, firing at enemy ships and trying to shoot down as many as he could. Enemy fire was scattered through his path, one laser beam hitting directly his fighter. “Shields holding!” Xar said to himself, his heart racing. He could detect on his viewscreen the Helian fighter that had managed to hit him. It was coming around for another attack. Xar led his ship upwards, evading the incoming laser fire and positioning himself above the enemy.

“Got you now!” He swooped down, firing laser beams at the enemy vessel. The beams hammered the Helian ship’s shields, bringing them down. Parts of the vessel had been ripped apart and it was being engulfed in fire. “Gotcha!” Xar fired again, a final attack to finish off his opponent. The Helian fighter exploded to pieces.

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From the bridge, Kurz could see massive explosions and debris from fighters’ remains being shot in all directions. The flashes of light illuminated like candles the dark void of space. Officers on the bridge were reporting in the casualties, as the sensors were coming back online. While it seemed from the sensors that at least some Alliance fighters had been shot down, the majority of the casualties were Helian spacecrafts.

"Have our targeting systems come back online?" Kurz asked.

"No, sir," one of the bridge officers reported. "We've dealt with the jamming of our sensors, but it will take at least a few more minutes before we can repair the damage to our targeting systems. We will have to fire manually."

“Then fire on the Alliance fleet with our cannons!” Kurz ordered.

“But sir, our cannons shall decimate countless of our own ships,” the officer protested. “Without our targeting systems online, our men will be firing almost randomly. Are we going to shoot on our own me-“

“Do it!”

The Helian cruiser’s cannons began charging as their controllers aimed them at the mass of Alliance and Helian fighters, without any particular regard for accurate aiming. At once, a blinding light emanated from the cruiser. Plasma beams of greater firepower than that of a hundred laser beams combined were fired. The inability of the vacuum to transmit sound was causing the firing of such massive weapons to occur in eerie silence.

“Evasive maneuvers!” Xar shouted as he saw the incoming plasma fire approaching on his viewscreen. “Disengage!”

The Alliance ships stopped firing at the Helian fighter and instead tried to make their way out of there, but for many it was too late. A series of explosions rocked this section of space, as countless Helian and Alliance fighters explode in unison. The light of the explosions was so bright that it disoriented the remaining Alliance pilots, who had to shut their eyes.

“Damn it!” Xar complained, his eyes still shut and feeling dizzy. “Casual- Casual- Casualties?”

“Fifty-two fighters lost.”

Xar gaped in astonishment. “Almost half of my forces… If we weren't jamming their targeting systems, we would have been wiped out!” Xar looked at his viewscreen and saw that all the Helian fighters had been decimated too. The field was clear for them to make it to the cruiser, if they managed to avoid another plasma attack that is. ‘Plasma cannons usually need about one minute to recharge after an attack,’ Xar though, making quick calculations on his mind.

“We need to bring down the cruiser!” Xar said, his voice steady and his own nervousness expertly hidden. “Follow me!”

His fighter sped forward, followed by the surviving Alliance starships for one final, grand charge. Either they would succeed in their attack or the entire operation would fail.

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Kerz was walking up and down in the bridge, unable to stay still even for a single moment. He was biting his nails and breathing fast. ‘What a first mission? Damn my luck!’ he thought to himself. His hands trembling, he grabbed his small glass bottle to take another V-DD1 pill but suddenly it slipped from his hands. The bottle ended up being nothing more than jumbled, meaningless mass of fragments scattered across the floor. “Fuck!” he barked.

“Were they all destroyed?” he asked one of the officers present.

“No sir,” the middle-aged man replied. “A squad of enemy fighters is racing towards us.”

“Fire again with our plasma cannons!”

“Sir, our cannons are recharging. They will need at least forty seconds before they can fire them and they are already near our position.”

“What about our fighters?”

“Sir, they were all destroyed by the plasma fire.”

Kerz was sweating. His face was ashen white. A sudden chest pain made him want to scream; he barely avoided that by gritting hard his teeth. He felt fear and panic overtaking him. He was losing control. This was nothing like the simulations in the academy. He frantically tried to remind himself of what options had been left.

“Fire at them with our laser turrets!” he shouted. Laser turrets were weaker in firepower compared to the plasma cannons but could still decimate enemy fighters.

"Many of them were destroyed in the first wave of attack," the officer replied. "Without the targeting systems online, the remaining turrets won't do much good."

"Don't care! Order an attack anyway!"

"Yes, sir!"

At once the cruiser’s laser turrets began firing rapid laser bolts at the incoming Alliance fighters. The Alliance pilots skillfully evaded the Helian fire, zigzagging and turning upside down. As the targeting was done manually, the Helian turrets had a hard time hitting their targets, 

The Alliance pilots were all following Xar’s lead of heading towards the weak point of the cruiser, positioned halfway from top to bottom and halfway from forward to aft. It was where many of the vital systems of the cruiser were located. Xar’s hands were sweating and his heartbeat was rapidly pounding as he aimed at the weak spot. Three long streams of light raced at the cruiser as Xar opened fire, his laser bolts clashing with the ship. The weak spot glowed bright red. The other Helian fighters were also firing rapidly at the weak point, their laser beams hitting it relentlessly and causing bits to it to be shredded apart. The red glow spread and a small, first explosion signaled that the whole thing was about to go up in flames.

“Fall back!” Xar ordered through his comlink. The Alliance fighters turned around, attempting to flee before being caught up in the upcoming explosion. The laser turrets of the cruiser were still firing at them as they made their retreat. Xar was speeding forward and zigzagging, evading the bolts of light, but others weren’t so lucky. On his right, he could see a fighter being hit and bursting into a brief ball of flame. “Damn!” he roared, clenching his teeth and fuming in rage.

On the cruiser’s bridge, Kerz was also fuming in anger. He was shouting incoherent commands at his officers. He could sense that his end was near but he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“Sir, we are having multiple internal explosions at decks ten, eleven and twelve. Our life support system is failing. We a- what? Explosion in engineering room! The shield generator is down! We are losing all our shields. We need to evacuate,” one of the officers pleaded. “Give an order to abandon ship!”

“No!” Kerz screamed. “No… It is all my fault. I shouldn’t have listened to Trumman, I should have forseen this ambush, I should have maintained yellow alert. I failed!”

“Sir, the ship is going to explode. Give the order to evacuate!”

Kerz was crying, tears streaming like flowing rivers from his eyes. “The least we can do is to take down as many enemy fighters as we can. Concentrate all remaining power to keeping the laser turrets firing. We have already shot down about ten of their fighters. Try to fire again the plasma cannons. It is our duty to die for our Chancellor. We cannot let him down. If we go down, they will go do-“

Bam!

Kerz collapsed on the floor, his forehead having been penetrated by a laser bolt. A pool blood was forming around his lifeless body. Everyone in the bridge looked at the middle-aged officer who had just fired his laser pistol at the admiral. They were gaping in astonishment, being too overwhelmed by what had just happened. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be happening…

The officer lunged himself to the middle of the bridge and with a clear and commanding voice gave his orders to the crew: “I have taken command of the ship. My order is to evacuate. Transfer all energy from the weapons systems into life support and launching the escape pods. I repeat! Abandon ship!”

But it was already too late. Only a few dozen escape pods managed to get launched before the cruiser exploded: white and red and yellow against the blackness of space. A bright lightning bold, a fire starting and ending all in the space of a heartbeat. Xar breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the destruction of the gigantic starship before him; a sight beautiful and terrible.

“Mission accomplished,” Xar said through his comlink. “Now let’s get back to the base, so we can refuel and start the journey back to Thellasia.”

‘Victory…’ Xar humphed. This word echoed hollow. ‘I won,’ Xar thought, ‘so what?’. He could have never have predicted that losing so many fellow pilots would affect him so much. He was a seasoned warrior, a mercenary who had seen more spacefights than many professional soldiers. Yet, this time the losses on his side affected his disproportionally. ‘Must be because I used to be a lone wolf.’