As a clarification to those who bother to read this… I believe that, while I have yet to fall completely, I fear it is an unavoidable outcome should the status quo be maintained…
Indeed, being aware of the small fact that I'm slowly spiraling toward inevitable insanity has brought about a refreshing view upon the world. So different, that, in a way it has cleansed my mind of its blockage. Here I sit, avoiding contact with the outside world, isolated, removed, detached… Alone… Impossibly so, in this world of unique possibility, so diverse and varying that it creates the illusion that nothing is impossible. Do not let yourself fall into that delusion, that wet dream that tricks your mind into thinking anything is possible. Should some part of your mind still insist in such a foolish delusion, force this portion of your mind to glance at some segment of human history.
Good old, undeniable, human history, coated in blood, birthed in fire, raised with slaughter; it is fundamental human nature, repeated time and time again, leaving behind stone ruins of once great civilizations, depicting how they lived and how they fell. Each of these civilizations met its end at the hands of itself and its neighbors. It is only in the case of such places like Pompeii that nature decides the outcome of a civilization, or in this case a city, but rest assured Pompeii would have fallen no matter what, given time, for it is undeniable, the death of all humans lies dormant in all humans.
Many examples of that concept can be found throughout history, all of it is irrevocable proof that humans cannot be changed, for at their core they're little more than ants, following the pheromone trails of those before them, ever marching onwards towards food, land, and inevitably war.
Human nature is a time bomb, a dormant self destruction mechanism which will eventually lead to our extinction.
I've not been the first to point this out... Nor shall I be the last… Other shall bring this up, and many more after them. All of this shall pass by unnoticed by humanity however, as they walk forward on their path.
I would not consider myself insane simply for noticing this. No, I consider myself on the way to insanity because I am… Conflicted…
I feel nothing for humans, I do not deny it. Being a sociopath has felt natural to me for as long as I can remember. And yet here I stand trying to warn those around me of the inevitable destruction and doom of civilization as we know it. Yet no one is bothering to do a thing about it.
They continue along, warring between each other, exhausting human lives and human resources for petty gains amongst themselves. They lack the initiative to do something before the war starts. They lack the mental ability, as a whole, to cease their aggressive actions against each other over petty reasons, such as a difference in skin color or a difference in the region in which you were born. To be honest, if someone were to bring me the person who instigated a war, or even multiple people who instigated such a war, I would not hesitate to put a bullet through their brain myself. I would do this as many times as necessary in order to restore order and preserve humanity.
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Indeed I would not hesitate at all, but the thing is, I cannot tell if I'm alone because everyone else is insane, and I'm the only one who is able to predict the eventual outcome continuous war, or that everyone else feels naturally about this, and I am the anomaly.
In such a case, that I would be the oddball out, I feel that there is something profoundly wrong with that, and that I should not, and cannot be the sole person who thinks this way.
In such an age of logic and reason, the age of great science, the age of space colonization, of infinite energy, of infinite possibility, am I the only one who sees what looms beyond the horizon. Where this technology which is being used to colonize the stars, to provide for the prosperity of mankind, to cure sickness, to extend health, will eventually, as it always has been, be turned and weaponized to be used against mankind.
I feel that this age is unstable, the future of mankind lays upon the head of a needle, and is about to swing downwards ringing the last chime in the obituary of mankind.
It is with great sadness that I have decided to freeze myself, cryogenicly, until such time where time travel comes upon us, at which point I will then retreat into human history, to enjoy what time I have left where I do not have to worry about what horrid way I would die, be it a virus, some radiation cloud leftover from some weapon of war, or even death when the pressurization in my starship is breached, because of some political game that idiots are playing, leaving the lives of others in ruins and tatters.
For those of you who are akin to my way of thinking, you need only follow me to cryogenic sleep, and together after mankind falls, which is inevitable, we shall rebuild it.
Once again, I find myself staring back at the start of the speech, or monologue if you will, and I noticed that it started out with me implicating myself as insane, but I feel it is very real that, should you disregard every warning and signpost on your way toward destruction, then fundamentally it is you who are insane. Now, I deem myself insane not because I feel everyone is stupid, which they are, but instead because I can't tell if this choice of action is the correct one. Should I, who feels no remorse for what I said earlier, do something more?
What purpose, would it serve, to do anymore than point out the flaws, for after all, self destruction is inevitable, unavoidable, and in our nature. I believe it stands the test of time, simply because people are emotional, they cannot put aside their own desire, their own pain, their own selfishness for the greater good.
Should you wish to join me in my sleep, set your capsule to 1500 years in the future, and we shall bring about a new hope for humanity
Signed - CEO and Founder of Xeltec Industries, Quintus Xeltec