Btw, this is just a warning towards those who are reading this... This book will get... messy...

From gore, to more gore, to graphic death, to sexual content, to thought streams which are ridiculed by society... anyway, you get the point...

No cannibalism or NTR though, those are strictly off limits to me as an author...

And for those of you wondering how this all plays out, just read :3, it will all make sense soon...

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As they left the throne room, the highly trained group went about their business, each heading towards their own awaiting horseless carriage full of sick or crippled people. The one with the Princess in their arms headed towards the carriage in the lead, along with the woman in the white mask.

The lady in the mask turned back around towards the inquisitor who was following her, their new initiate in its hands. A voice spoke up from the fully cloaked person, young and youthful, only appearing to be a few years older then the person in his arms.

Inquisitor : "Mistress Lyndra, are you sure she is strong enough to take the test? She feels too weak to even attempt such a-"

He was cut off by a cold glare from Lyndra, who spoke in a monotone voice.

Lyndra : "Everyone takes the test before getting healed, no exceptions... not even for a princess of a powerful country... If she has the willpower to be healed, and the drive to live, it doesn't matter if she is on deaths door, she will pass, as you and I did..."

The inquisitor nodded at this, not arguing at all, before heading back to his awaiting carriage.

Lyndra : "Wait... Let her ride with me..."

The inquisitor nodded again, handing over the trembling ten year old to Lyndra gently, before proceeding on his way towards his own carriage.

Watching the retreating figure Lyndra let out a sigh and loaded into her own carriage, where she was greeted by a five other people. Two were coughing heavily, one elderly man was passed out, his skin pale and his breathing rough, and the last two were missing limbs, one an arm, the other a leg. They looked at her with eyes of hope as she entered, knowing that their chances at a normal life lay with her.

She leaned out of the window in order to survey the convoy behind her. After everyone was loaded up, Lyndra gave a command and all of the carriages started to move forward as one, at a speed far faster then normal horse drawn carriages. If someone were to watch, they would be baffled at how it could even more, much less how quick and efficient a carriage with no horses could be. They could not even fathom how it would be powered, and could only come to the conclusion that they were drawn by a magic similar to the spears that the inquisitors used.

Closing the window she looked at the sprawled out body of the small girl, before some small amount of pity overtook her.

She gently stroked the head of the small gaunt pockmarked princess, before pulling out a small round object, no bigger then the nail of your pinky. She looked at the shivering girl once more, before slipping the small pill into her mouth.

The girl shivered a bit more, her breathing becoming erratic for a few seconds, before she finally went into a deep sleep.

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<<>> From : 3rd person to 1st person :D

??? : "Child, are you awake yet?"

A soft voice wrenched me from the best sleep I had ever had in her life, one free of the torments of my life, free from the pain, the tremors, the weakness, the coughing... in that dream, I was free from all of it. This voice ripped me from my dreams back to the sad reality of the situation. I opened my eyes in shock, finding myself in a stone room, the only light coming from some green lights behind me, illuminating the room in-front of me, and a single blue light in-front of me, seemingly at the end of the hallway.

I look around for the source of the voice, my weak limbs struggling to prop me up on the warm rock. I only got half way up before they failed to support my weight, as I crumpled back towards the rock.

As my body contorted a sharp pain ran through my system, bringing with it the realization that I was back to real life... The life I have lived for eleven years, where I cannot leave the binding confines of my room, where I am too weak to play outside, to do ANYTHING at all. Where I am cursed to sit and wallow away in my pain while staring out the window at what could have been...

??? : "Ah... I can see that you are awake... I have a question child... can you speak?"

I struggled to sit upright, through all of the pain, getting onto my knees with great effort before weakly replying to the question which had been asked of me, disregarding the pain which speaking brought.

Me : "y-yes."

I can't remember the last time I used my voice... was it always this weak? Did it always hurt this much? Why does everything hurt?

??? : "Good... Now, What is your name child?"

Such a kind and gentle voice... it was almost as if I was still dreaming... The torrents of sharp burning pain, searing itself into my mind, assured me that it wasn't still a dream however... I reflexively coughed in order to try and wet my hoarse throat.

Me : "my name *cough* is Yana."

??? : "Good... now, Yana... Do you want a normal life? To live normally, without pain or weakness?"

Me : "yes..." I struggled to sit up more, causing my left leg to let out an extreme burst of pain, as if it had been hit right on the joint, as the pain reverberated through the leg and up into my torso.

??? : " How badly?"

Me : "I... I hate this pain... I despise it, it has ruined my life... I have never been able to do anything because I have always been so weak... please..."

I started crying, tears flowing down both of my eyes onto the warm stone floor.

Me : "please.... make it stop..."

??? : "Yana... I can give you your life back, but I can never save you from your pain..."

I was shocked at this, and starting yelling at the voice, wanting to know why it would give me false hope.

Me : "Why? Why... WHY!!!"

I got into an intense coughing fit at the overuse of my voice. I fell to the floor, coughing up blood and bits of lung into a messy pile on the floor. After a few seconds of coughing a warm tender feeling spread up my back. The voice sounded again, this time right behind my ear, as the persons body heat was transferred to my back.

??? : "Yana, I cannot save you from the pain... Pain brings prospective...

Pain brings meaning to lives, without pain, we lose the value in things... Those people you see walking the streets... they are unhappy with life, always striving for more, and yet... you would kill just for their ability to walk, wouldn't you?"

I realized that she was right, before nodding weakly.

??? : " You see... your pain has brought a value to the ability to walk. Something you were deprived of, everyone else gets naturally. Without pain, you would have taken it for granted as well, would you not?"

I once again nodded weakly at her words, noticing that she was correct. Had I not been born like this I would have never felt envy towards those who could walk, never known the pain and the boredom of living alone in a tower for all of my life, too weak to even sit up.

??? : "Yana... I cannot save you from the pain... pain is valuable, and the people who live their lives submersed in it are also valuable. That feeling, of wanting something so badly, be it a normal life, or that of a missing limb... That feeling of wanting it, THAT is what our order wants in its initiates... We have the ability to save every person... but then nobody would appreciate our work... our God... The one who saves us all.... If everyone was saved, there would be no one who would stare in awe at his mighty abilities... there would be no purpose for us to continue, everyone would live forever, and their joy at being relieved of their pain would fade... We cannot allow this to happen, so instead we choose those who have known pain, and offer to prolong it, so that you might deepen your sense of value...

I cannot save you from the pain...

Instead, if you want your normal body, that life you would kill for... you must join us... as one who knows real pain. You must pass the trial of willpower, you must be willing to go through more pain for us... for our God..."

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I flinched at the words 'more pain', before hesitating to answer the question.

??? : "Is your resolve so weak that a simple concept of a little bit more pain would make you stop and think?" The voice instantly turned aggressive, taking away the body heat from my back as the person pushed me forward onto the floor.

I cried out in agony as my legs bent, sending jabs of pain through my body.

The owner of the voice walked in-front of me, revealing the naked body of a teenage girl. her body was simply beautiful in the dim lighting, with slender curves, and toned muscles... except something was wrong with her face, the right half of her face was beautiful, but its inverse was the opposite... Her eyes were gone, leaving behind gaping voids... Her left cheek was scarred and burned, her left lips were gone, revealing the teeth behind them, her ear looked like it had been hacked off.

I shuddered at the sight of the disfigurations.

Blind Girl : "Shhh, calm yourself child... It is self inflicted... Pain is all in your mind, you must strive to overcome it, you must strive to surpass it... you must strive to embrace it... Only through embracing the pain can you truly join us...

This" She motioned towards her empty eye sockets gently, before 'looking' back towards me.

Blind girl : "This... is the strength of my resolve...

I deprived myself of sight, so that when God deems it time to give me my sight back I shall be grateful for it... More grateful for sight then I have been since the day I was born. I truly miss it... but that is the purpose of gouging out my eyes you see... I resolved myself to live without sight for as long as it takes to ascertain the value of sight..."

I gulped down a breath of air at her words.

Blind Girl : "I will ask you Yana... do you truly wish to join us? Is your resolve, so weak, so pathetic that it would be destroyed by this small amount of pain. Are you the same as all of those other people? The ones who live their lives oblivious to the pain and suffering? Or the ones who come here seeking to join our order, yet lack the resolve to do what is needed to join... Are you like them? Or are you willing to endure pain, to devote your life to your god, to view the world from a new perspective... The choice is yours..."

At those words, she put a blackened runic dagger on the ground in-front of me, it was no shorter then a foot in length, and seemed to be very valuable if one were to have had it appraised.

I grasped it, wondering what I was to do with it.

Me : "What am I supposed to do with this?"

The blind girl reached towards her face, feeling the gashes that took her eyesight from her, before lowering her hand to her cheek and feeling around.

Blind Girl : "Supposed to do? Nothing... It is what you are willing to offer to him. You should decide on your own what you do not need, and then give yourself a new perspective on the world. Revel in the pain while it lasts, because our God, in his eternal mercy, shall relieve you of it. He shall heal your ailments, your wounds, your grievous injuries, your disfigurements... and all that he asks in return, is for you to understand the world through his eyes... Through his viewpoint...

Material things are worthless, societies are worthless, drawn towards war and strife by those among them who do not understand what they possess. Relieve yourself of your body, piece by piece, so that you can understand the value of it. The value of eyesight, the value of arms, the value of your speech, the value of your faith.

Now, Strengthen your resolve and embrace the pain, the alter is waiting... Or drop the knife and be sent back to your father, who risked so much to send you here... To brave the heretical faiths and their fires of spite, for your sake... Because our God decided to give you your second chance at life...

REJOICE AT YOUR SALVATION!! LOYALTY TILL THE END OF TIME!!"

The blind girl yelled out her last words, before stepping to the side, and allowing me to see ahead of myself. The long corridor did not seem as menacing or lengthy as it did originally. I could see the faint blue light at the end more clearly...

I grasped the dagger in my hand, my resolve as strong as stone, my will as immovable as a mountain, as I walked towards the light, towards the Alter.

"This god... He surely must be benevolent to allow mere mortals like us a second chance at life."

With my head swimming with thoughts such as that, and on what I would offer to him, I crawled forward, inching my way towards the room at the end of the corridor, the pain all but forgotten amidst the flurry of new emotions.

Was this still a dream? Embrace the pain? Enjoy it? Do such things actually work? Will this god truly give me a second chance? I will be... immortal... but live in pain for eternity?

I cleared all thoughts out of my head except the necessary ones as I drew ever closer to my goal. Eventually, just mere feet away from the new room, my mind was once again filled with thoughts, except this time, it was about what I could do for this God who would heal ailments, give people depth to their feeble lives, to allow people to step out of mortality and truly enjoy the world. I struggled with this, until I came into view of the room what seemed like hours after I started my journey through the hallway.

I suddenly felt a chill over the normally warm floor, before looking up.

I stared at him, in all his glory...

A man, with blonde hair, seemingly timeless, sealed in a tube of glass, covered in ice. I shivered at the sudden draft of cold wind which brought with it a flurry of ice crystals which had fallen from the tube. He was just floating there, but even with no introduction I knew, that this was their, no... My god...

I grasped at these ice crystals, struggling to grab them before they flew away... What I did manage to grab I savored for a moment before rubbing them on my skin, enjoying the cold feeling.

The blind priestesses words rang in my mind as I approached a stone bench beneath my God, dyed red with blood from the sacrifices of those before me. I smiled at the thought of joining them.

I raised the dagger in my hand, as once more her words rang out in my head. I said them, in tandem with the dagger falling towards my skin...

Me : "Material things are worthless, societies are worthless, drawn towards war and strife by those among them who do not understand what they possess. Relieve yourself of your body, piece by piece, so that you can understand the value of it. The value of eyesight, the value of arms, the value of your speech, the value of your faith."

I cringed at the pain as the dagger tore into my shoulder, before passing off the pain as 'only natural' for this kind of ritual.

I started sawing the dagger downwards towards the bone in my arm, gritting my teeth the whole time, but never crying out. This level of pain, in comparison to what I have felt my entire life, was nothing.

This went on for a while, until I hit the bone... When I hit the bone I almost passed out from the pain, but through sheer force of will I kept myself conscious as I let go of the knife and started gasping for air.

I sat there, on the alter, bleeding, for a moment or two more...

Me : "This... is the strength of my resolve..."

At those words I grasped the knife again and started to saw, against all of the warnings in my body, against all of the pain, and the mental fatigue that comes with injuring yourself.

I almost passed out three more times, but i persevered, until finally, with tears flooding out of my eyes, I cracked a smile as a wet splooshing sound happened when my severed arm hit the floor, drenched in my own blood.

I looked towards my God with my fading vision, before grasping my severed arm with my still functioning one, weakly saying the final words

Me : "Loyalty... till the end of time..."

And with that my vision went black as I fell backwards...