Dont know my age it is all aprox guesses it has yet to be discussed. This may be first time at my church no service.  Told to wait at door. I have been to another funeral before on my mothers side it was normal the first time and will keep that part to myself. I open doors for others with a random old man. I have not been told whos funeral it is. I see a red head my age her father asks who I am. I tell him he moves on the girl stays. We communicate have a good time. Then she asks do you know whos funeral this is. I say no but I asume just a friend of the family. She says you see people leaving. I say yes and my parents should be coming any second. She is startled after a few minutes. She says follow me. I say I will get in trouble if I leave this room. She goes to the stairwell in the room and climbs it. I get close to the stairs. I feel fear. She encourages me. I revert back to the conversation earlier my eyes wide awkward silence. Where are we in the conversation again. I was so confused and wanted to make a good first impression. I say excuse me and whisper to the old man for advice on where we are in the conversation. She runs off a few seconds later she screams. I revert back to saying goodbye to mom and dad and opening the doors with the random old man. I open doors until the red head comes. But until then I talk with the random old man of the problem I am having. He just listens. He sugest prayer and she shows up. I cant talk. A few minutes later I pray the way the old man sugests completly ignoring her. I do cry because its a funeral. The one place all people are alowd to cry. I get up and turn around and do three crazyman sword moves as the red head dies. The third move I failed and was a faint. That moment the old man sees I never see him again and I presume he went to heaven. The fight continues but my heart wavers. Next move a actual successfull block rwo more blocks and then I think. He has to know i cant see him right. I am a todler he is toying with me. Next one he will kill me. Then I revert back to opening the door. This time all alone.  She cant stand helping me open doors and runs off I follow this time. We make it out of the room and into the hallway. I suffer from thoughts that are not mine but are in my head. Something else says who attacks the house of the Lord. I think demons because I just saw something for the first time. Then the red heads father shows up and says we are cousins. It is my grandfathers funeral and my father relunctantly lets me see him. Of course there was one more fight before but it was a loss. I went back and the Demon came again we died. What a false sense of security. I mean really. Still... I open doors again. I attempt to witness to the red head cousin this time. She disapears and eventually my parents come and we go home. Oh yeah dad does ask if I knew whose funeral it was. I say Grandpa and somebody told me. lol He did doesnt know it lol. I did get to say my goodbyes. lol thank you cousin. When  Finally no more doors. At least two people went to heaven. I feel sorry for her father. I later find out he had a heart problem. I ask if he grabed his shoulder or arm they avoid the question. They respond with he had one before. Maybe  like my death #2. But thats useless speculation I am sure God knows. My grandmas favorite saying I am never sorry. How can You ever be a christian if you dont want forgiveness.

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Now after grandpa dies I pray for God to allow Grandma to drive. Big mistake. But wait my mom has never driven. Are women allowed to drive. Its the 1990s I have yet to see any women drivers. After that I forget that thought because no imediate response was given. I mean really.. wow. I just dont get how I grew up in such a situation.  We go to grandmas afterwards. Uncle did not show up finally everyone realizes this. We go back to the church  and find him some where. It takes untill after the sun falls behind the horizon but still sunlight to find him. A few weeks later God apeals to the lonely widow and grandma from my fathers side becomes my babysitter. One thing that existed at this time was home cooking. She was actually good and proud of it. She cant cook today... I am sorry grandma. So she takes me out for a spin first time in front seat:) no seat belts or car seats at age 3 or 4 maybe 5. Everything is uknown right now. As I am riding in car I say grandma I'm hungry. Grandma says I am driving around town we dont have food its at the house. I give a pouting face and think. God Give ME FAST FOOD. Sorry I am a kid who isnt realy known for his hunger issues due to lack of actually ever being extremely hungry. I do admit God gave a McDonalds instantly but we passed it. We did turn around and drive by but it was busy. Did I forget to mention mom took me grocery shoping the grocery store apeared the same way dont make mom walk miles and miles so it appeared at the end of the street and in order to cross I asked for a light too. Though no crossing signal. As I was saying It was busy and the street was the busiest I have seen so far. As grandma was leaving due to impatiance and unwilling to wait in line inside I ask God cant you make it faster. God gave the drive thru. By this time grandma says no and is turning around int the parking lot. I tell grandma follow the line of cars please. she says no. we go home but I dont know what or how it goes down but i am down from not getting food. I get in my first car accident. I hear a crunch and glass breaking. Next thing you know I am at home. I dont like mcdonalds as much because of this.