If I knew the things I knew now back then I wonder.

I wonder if i'd even care enough to change my fate. I know that I would walk the same path I did before. But I wonder if life means anything to me. After all I gave my rage control of my life it was never that my rage took control of my life. It to me at the time just felt truer. I know now that I used anger to hide my fear. But at other times I don’t think that was the case. I think it all so foggy know thing I thought I knew I now don’t. I don’t even know what to think it just doesn't feel clear to me. I don’t get how i should face the situation before me.

I'm so old now. I feel so tired all the time.

I wonder why it just doesn't feel right to me now. It used to feel great. Life did feel good once. Wait aren't I dead.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR I don't fucking know.

If there's one thing I can tell it’s that i'm addicted to the power my rage made me feel. It's funny, the more I came to lose control the more I felt in control. But now it's as if the sea have parted and my mind been cleared. It’s become so obvious that I wasn't me for so long. And yet I can easily see myself returning to what I once was. It just feels so distorted. But you have to imagine the idea before you can start to understand. When there was something I didn’t like all I had to do was change it and in most cases my rage would give me the power to do so and if it couldn’t then i'd simply give in to my anger until something happens. But in the end all this did was isolate me from everything I loved.

A bound hand brushes past my nose and did so with such momentum that it seem to be followed but a powerful wind that should I have been more than a floating conscentes well I probably wouldn't be able to ignore it like I am now. “Heyyyyy you home. Hellllooooooooo. HELLLLOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIII KNOOOOWWWW YOOOOUR TTHHHEEEEIIIRRRRRRRRRR. I CAN SEEE YOUUUUUUUU... FUCKING ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!” and then there's this thing she seems desperate and her eyes display worry it's actually a cute image if we remove the red skin and her dress that made entirely of severed hands and what looks to be fresh dandelions. Of course let not forget the fact we in the middle of a forest of naked men and women each screaming trying to kill themselves but also desperately trying to keep their keep the neighbours alive. The reason I call it a forest is because everyone is three to four meters of the ground and impaled or hung from well a bunch of dead trees. “SHIT FUCK SHIT DID HE GET STUPID OR SOMETHING FUCK TI FUUUCKING TOLDS US NOT TO INTERFUCKINGFERE WHEN THEY WERE FUCKING GETTING THEIR FUCKING BEARING ON BEING DEAD. FAAAAAAAAA” Honestly I probably shouldn’t antagonise the being that brought me here by prendening I can’t see her. But fuck it logic and sense were never my thing.

“ Wonder where that small red girl ran off too. But more importantly where the fuck am I. I wonder why she just left me in this fucking place.”

“ HO HO HO TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME YOU FUCK. I GOT ALL FUCKING TIME IN THE WORLD… PLEASE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME… FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK… I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I DIDN’T WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU MY HORNS WOULD BE SO FAR UP YOUR FUCKING ASSSS.” she can shouts all she wants all she wants. “ I'm not listening until someone asks nicely.” She seemed shocked. Her face twisted in horry as if she just faced the biggest betrayal in her life “ YOU! YOU! YOOOOOOOUUUU FAAAAAAAAACK. Holy shit I be fuccking worry you’d gone retarded their for a second. Fuck me... Ok, you can’t actually fuck me let make that clear now. I'm saving myself for someone special. He going to have amazing muscles but by that I mean like within reason once mussels get to big they look weird and it has to go with his feminine,ish face but it still needs to be handsome and HE CAN’T BE SHORTER THAN ME!! The void god of ash ” her face twisted again now in a form of great relief then once again it reformed small pout where her checks seemed grow into a slight deeper shade of red as she speaks. Then her eyes seemed to explode in delight.

“The fuck. What's with the maiden in love act” voice 2

The void god of ash I feel like I should know that name.

She seemed offended as struck out her chest and placed her hands in on her hips. It would seem as if parts of her meat dress had been cut away just so she could strike this pose “ It's not an act and im not lying it really will hap… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. FUCK YOOOOOOOOOU”

“ No. but if a nice offer but i'm saving myself for someone special’ voice 2

To my dipleaser she just stood there smirking at me. “ Get fucked. You acknowledge my existence and I didn't say please. I win you lose. I'm the best and you're the worst hahahahahhahahahaahahahahahaahaha wait... what the fuck am I supposed to be doing again”- The void god of ash.

“You were telling me about your maiden fantasies” voice 2

“ah was I I feel theirs was something else but I don’t remember. Oh well. So he's going to be tall but no a giant tall still within the bound of human and freakishly tall but he need to have a archers frame he cant he a ball of muscle but their needs to be at least an six pack and a lot of muscle and he must have a sense of humor and dreamy blue eyes and and oh shit again ha.”

What is it now. Shit this little ball of focus actually focused on something did something bad happen. Maybe I should ask but shit I don’t want to. But fuck im not quite sure where I am. I mean if I try to put the pieces together in my head then i'm in… is this hell. I mean they always said that I would go to hell when I died but. Fuck if this is hell then i'm well... Im fuck aren't I. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. let's not jump to conclusions. Ok time for a change in plans i've never been one to plea so their only one option left. Hmmm i just got a sense of deja vu.

“ Your face isn’t cute when you frown what the problem maybe I can help the pretty little you” Whos fucking voice was that. Wait was that me? O god what the fuck did I just fucking say. SHIT if this is hell there's no way that going to fucking work. Shit did I actually go stupid. Was she right in worrying if i’ve gone stupid. Fuuuuck me what the fuck have I done. Stupid. Wait lets see her reaction. She just staring at me. Why does she look so mystified. “ faaaaaaaack well fuck em congratulations um shit stop, shit you’ve become my type. That's good for you. Sorry if ya like your previous face but fuck it this is clearly an improvement”. What is she talking about know. She still staring at me but what the hell am supposed to say now. “Wanna see what you look like now?” all thought it was clear ask like a question I got the feeling she meant it like a statement.

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Just like that a mirror appeared. And as I gazed into the mirror I could only ask myself. Who is that? Is that supposed to be me. Holy shit i’m fucking handsome... No wait isn’t bad. Didn’t she say something about horns and my ass before. Oh shit did she make me pretty because she wanted my body. SHIT. She also said something about wanting something thing from me. Wait didn't she say something about my ass and horns

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. No i'm sure this is a misunderstanding. Unlike before I have to crane my neck down wards and o fuck im tall im like nearly.

“ two point one meters tall” the voice called out from below.

“ Why am I tall?”

“ fucked if I know that just how the void works. I’ll get myself an apple put it down, take my eye off it for a second and bam it’s a FUCKING BUCKET OF FUCKING EELS!!!!!. Even im not immune to change well i've had this form for about 3000 years but the one I had before it was much better ” she made a troubled face but her body language made a well what are you going about gesture as she shared this little piece of knowledge that I almost didn’t catch the sorry and helpless nature of her voice. And when I did so I was overcome with this powerful sense of defeat.

We just stood there for a good ten minutes.

“So I have a favor” her voice carried a lot of emotion and seem to have some underlying sense of regret. “ well first I have two questions” I asked

“Fire way number two”

“Who are you and what is the request” number 2 the fuck does she mean number two?

“Ah didn’t say it before im the god of ash, one of the three void sisters, and one of the only three evil gods in existence oooooo you want my name I guess well it’s Ai and the request is quite simply really but I can’t tell you unless you agree to it first.”

“...hmmmmm sure” 2

“Really”

“Sure but I have three requests”

“Ok in the name of me I hear by swear by my power that i shall complete any three wishes you ask of me”

“Your not going to ask me what my request are”

“ok what be thy request” with her are spinning around in front of her I assume in a attempt to bow but instead when she attempted to lower her head her horns hit the floor and she bounce back surprise clearly written in her face.

“ First what is my name?”

“O don't worry I to forget my name too at times... lets see” she raises her hand before my very eyes it begins to morph in the drill and she then does the unbelievable. She begins to hollow out her own head. But half way through the provider her head starts to rapidly reform and she pull her hand away that has once again taken the form of a hand. Though all that her face never change one other few ohhh ohhh noises let she was remembering something she had previously forgotten.

“ Well shit we met before. Mane”

“What?”

“Yep we passed each other on the street. Ha would you look at that it a small world after all… so what your second request?”

“Oh that's simply. Say please” Her face contorted as if I had just told her to eat shit “pick another”

“Nope all I ask for my services is a simply please”

You know this was just supposed to be build up to my third wish but fuck is it really that hard to say please so it not like im that hung up of her saying please but fuck it… its been ten minutes why can’t she just say please. After what felt like an eternity. She turn to face me and the world froze in place. A killing intents so powerful I was left frozen the only thought running through my head i'm going to die. But at this point my brain had long turn to nothing more than a simply mush. The knowledge that I was already dead was not something I had accepted before I don’t think there are many people who can come to term with their own mortality so easily and one of those people was not me but at this moment in time as the full force of her power assaulted me I saw as all the pattwork horries turn to dust and the world seem to be burn away leaving nothing but ash. Now as the knowledge of my impending doom I had few choices. I can struggle in a vain and pointless way knowing full well I will lose or I can accepted and beg for mercy. That seem to be my only option that makes sense. But well i've never been one to care about the words logic and sense. I feel my fist tighten boosted by the fear but I can feel it returning my power from the time I was alive. Shooting my fist forward for now that is the only direction I can go. I aim straight for her head all my might in this single blow. All my rage. Who the fuck does this little shit think she is am I so unworthy that she be so insulted with a simply please. Who the fuck does this shit think she is. Im going to fuccking kill her im going to rip off her fucking scalp and use it to choke her to death. This fucking sult. I’M GOING TO PUNCH THAT FUCKING ANNOYING FACE OF YOU’R YOU LITTLE FUCK. EVEN IF I HAVE TO FUCKING DIE TO DO IT!!!.

My first rung straight but to her it didn’t matter at all. Once it got too close to her my hand seem to lose momentum and burn. My arm burnt so fast and so hot they're never was any fire no it skipped that stage and went straight to ash. Is this my e… NO I launched my other first forward but to no avail. Next was my right foot but in turn I lost all below my need and upon that need I launch my left foot but all below my thigh was lost.

Shit SHIT think. Time seem to slow to un almost unimaginable rate but now I had time to view my target. All that happened was she had raised her head to face me and I saw a familiar sight. Her face was wrapped in rage. The veins on her neck previous unnoticeable now bulged and wiggled like worms trapped under her skin. Her face once more contorted and the muscles moved in a way that removed all resemblance to human. The fist strove forward. It moved in a slower maner to mine but seemed to hold the weight a of a world. I watched it arrive at my chest. Yet it did so not with a bang or a crash but more of a pon noise. To it I felt no damage and felt no pain. In fact my arms had returned and I stood on my feet once more. I look down in confusion to she her head bent in sham. I might have misunderstood her intentions as accepting my request and call her cute once more. I might have made some joke about how grown up she was and used comedy to hid my new fear of her. If not for her two horns that had run me through. But with these horn I felt no pain as I watch no blood only ash fall from my wounds. But my mind was so clear and in this new world of ash there was no sound. In fact this allow me to find a new enlightenment neither of us have breaved since we came here. But it was at this point I heard a cry. It was not the cry of a monster. It was not the cry of a god. It was not the cry of a warrior. It was not the cry of one with unlter motives. It was the cry of a small scared little girl.

“ please help me,stupid i'm so tired of this” to this I felt something. I don’t what it was but at that time the only thought running through my head was.

“ sure, fuck it why not”

“ really” her face still lowered now I could tell. I didn't see the monster. I saw a normal girl. Her head pressed against my need. But still she spoke.

“ What's the final request”

“No i'll have that one when I complete this favor of your” her head rose and as she let go of my leg I saw once more the the void god of ash the bound in chain red skin one. But there was a small difference she had eyes and they were pink.

“No the favor is really a small one. Could you help me and my sisters poison the heavens”