Chapter 12: Prince and the trip to the forest edge (2)
The people around Fearless were thrill seekers in one way or another. FY had his darts and the world map. He would throw his dart on the world map while blindfolded and wherever the dart landed, he would pack his stuffs to travel there. He really enjoyed that kind of thrilling experiences with all the mishaps and stupid troubles he came across in those adventures except those two times when he landed the dart on Antarctica and North Korea.
Merleon was also a thrill seeker, and his style of thrill seeking always had to do with adrenaline pumping into his blood. His father was a career UFC fighter and Merleon was aspired to be one as well until an injury robbed him of that future. While Merleon has quitted his mix martial art fighting career for his pro-gamer career, he often frequented a sword school in Melbourne. That sword school had many branches around the world in which they aimed to teach a mixture of both ancient Eastern and Western combat to people. And that ancient combat was not as safe as fencing or kendo, those people attended the school, they fought with great sword, rapier, dao, long sword, katana, scimitar, falchion and a large array of other cold weapons. While the fighter used blunted weapon, they could still cause horrific injury during their sparring session despite being armored to teeth like medieval knight.
Alice was even more of a daredevil. Whenever she was stressed, either from the result of her works or her relationship with Fearless or whichever, she would took out her monster 2000cc Yamaha VMAX for a ride. It’s a blessing from gods that she did not get into any horrific incident with that monster motor bike for the last eight years.
And Fearless, whether he liked it or not, he was also a thrill seeker, however, his version of thrill ride always went hand in hand with alcohol or woman or often both. He’s a party-goer and depended on the people attended that party, he could party hard or really really hard which resulting in the strange situations he often found himself in after waking up with a banging hangover. That one time with the Bengal tiger was already bad, that one time orgy was worse. He woke up wondering which rod went into which hole, did his rod enter the right hole or the wrong hole, which pairing went with which pairing, was it female to male or male to male and female to female, did he put on the rubber and all sort of questions while having absolutely no memory of how he got there. However, those questions did not pose as a problem immediately. The real problem was the anxiety came after that.
What if one of the guys had STD? What if I knock up one of the girls if not all? What if there was an underage among the group? What if… what if…what if… It was that kind of reality that a person had to face after partaking in such crazy shit without a sliver of memory of partaking it that really dreaded them.
Also, the moment when he waited for his private doctor to announce the result of his monthly blood tests, negative or positive, it was incredibly nerve-wracking, a different kind of nerve-wracking compare to when he played ROC on a biggest stage with fans watching him, and when the doctor told him that it was negative, exhalation, it was like a moment of sheer exaltation like he has just won a gamble.
“You should really stop doing that kind of shit. Then, we would not have this kind of test every damn month,” his private doctor would tell Fearless the same thing every single month and they felt into deaf ear every time. Fearless would laugh them off, so one time, the annoyed doctor decided to play along, announced the test to be positive.
It was like an “Oh fuck” moment for him. Cold sweats oozed out of his body and Fearless asked his private doctor again, “Doc, are you bullshitting me?”
“Yes, I am. So please, start taking my advice seriously. One day, one day, it might be true,” the doctor said, slapping Fearless’ test result on his face.
Still, Fearless had that same conversation with his doctor every single month since.
And for whatever reason, Fearless really dug insane women. He was thrilled at the thought of what sort of insanity they would explode on him at any given moment and how should he prepare himself for that.
Even without his father, Alice, FY and FY’s wife Su Ming the person who Fearless called sister in law told him again and again, Fearless realized that the stuffs he did were the image of insanity itself. He realized that without having told by anyone, and yet, he could not stop, and yet, he could not remove himself from those acts of insanity. It became a part of him.
And the night before proved that, that Fearless himself could not be anything but an insane bastard. He got himself drunk and flirted with death, almost got himself involved in a double suicide in the end; not that it was something new to him. Fearless went through too many failed lover suicide attempts to even count, except that one time last night, he has not become the lover of Iliva yet.
“Iliva,” he called to the spider queen who walked next to him.
“What?” she asked, immediately taking a defensive stance with her icy cold voice. She folded her arms and glared daggers at him.
What Iliva did not realize was her folding arms displayed to Fearless a sign of her inner insecurity, making her incredibly adorable and they emphasized her perky and divine chest which only fanned the flame of lust that Fearless had for her.
“Thanks for the blanket. It’s very soft and warm. That’s very kind of you. Thank you,” Fearless thanked her. He woke up in the morning with the most comfortable and pleasant sleep he has ever had after being transported to the world of Reign of Chaos. He reasoned that it was because of the exhaustion and fatigue built up during the two days he tried to escape from the spiders until he discovered the warm blanket wrapped over him. The spider thread blanket was incredibly warm like a sheepskin blanket and came with a smooth texture that rivaled silk satin. And contrasting to its thickness, the blanket was very light.
Iliva had a stunned look on her face for a moment as if she never has expected him to thank her for that. Then, in an instant, her pristine white face changed its color to that of embarrassment and she flung her head away, humming discontentedly, “Hmph. Don’t thank me. I just thought that you was pitiful. That thing is something I made on a moment of impulse, it’s garbage, feel free to throw it away at any moment.”
“Thank you. I will treasure it for the rest of my life,” Fearless could not help but smile.
“Did you not listen to what I have just said?” the spider queen growled. Her arachnid legs angrily dug into the ground.
Fearless immediately changed the topic to spare the spider queen from further embarrassment, which might prompt her to take back or destroy his new found SSR rated treasure. He might consider trade away Enfermé when the situation called for it, but this blanket, never, “Iliva, how long would it take for us to reach the forest edge if we are travelling at this rate?” he asked.
“At least six more days. You walk like a snail human,” she replied.
“So I can only see you for another six or seven days. That makes me feel very sad,” Fearless sighed dejectedly. The thought that he could no longer marvel such wonderful masterpiece in the days to come saddened him.
“And I could not be happier to get rid of an annoying bug like you and get back my pearl,” Iliva snorted.
“Now, that’s very mean. You know you like it when I look at you,” Fearless commented, while thinking to himself that it was very strange that this beautiful Arachne did not feel creeped out toward his normal type of longing gaze and even welcomed his lustful gaze openly.
Normally, women were not like that, even the like of swim suit models, porn stars and strippers that Fearless has met were not like that. Women were creatures that were wired to be creeped out when a man looked at them for too long or too short. Eye contact too, too long, creepy, too short, creepy, staring at their chest or legs, creepy, their sense of creepiness was vastly different from that of a man. They have a broader range of what define as creepiness compare to men.
Creepy was all about the uncertainty of threat, which was vastly different from fear or revulsion, in both of those emotional states, the person experiencing them usually felt no confusion about how to respond. But when a person being creeped out, that person’s brain and body would tell him/her that something were not quite right to better pay attention for something that could potentially hurt him/her. It’s that kind of feeling. It was concluded that this kind of responses made sense from an evolutionary psychology perspective, throughout the history, women faced a much wider range of threats compare to men, including sexual threats.
Does this beautiful Arachne feel no creepiness from my gaze due to her special heritage? Or she was like this because she was exiled from her people? In the Arachne society, female Arachne is considered superior to male, is that what it is? So would a male in the Arachne society experience that kind of creepy feeling when being stared by a female? Fearless mulled over the reason that might explain Iliva’s strange acceptance of being stared by him.
Fearless was very intrigued by Iliva, was he a psychiatrist he would love to study her as a subject, but as himself, he was merely interest to know more about her as a potential love interest.
“Hmph, nobody enjoy anything being looked at by an annoying bug like you,” Iliva gritted her teeth, her face could not get redder than it has already been.
“So now, you stop calling me lowly human and start calling me an annoying bug instead. Is this something Arachne do to show affection to a person they like?” Fearless cackled.
“Are you too stupid to see that I’m insulting you human?” the spider queen growled.
“Just keep it in mind that you was defeated and capture by the annoying bug, me, and got bested in a contest of strength by the same annoying bug?” and Fearless smiled, reminding Iliva of her defeat.
“That won’t happen again,” the spider queen clenched her fists and adopted a threatening tone, her bloodshot eyes radiated anger and shame from the memory of last night defeat.
At this point, Fearless started to consider if he should quit adding fuel to the fire.
“Challenge me again in the same contest of strength if you wish to avenge that lost,” somehow, his lust got the better of his better judgment and Fearless lamented inwardly the moment he realized what he has just said.
“Don’t get full of yourself. I will defeat you next time. I was merely careless last night,” Iliva declared her intention with a genuine determined look on her beautiful face.
So there will be a next time, Fearless wholeheartedly resisted his urge to immediately start dancing on the spot to express the overwhelming joy in his heart, logical reasoning and better judgment can be damned, o joy.
When it’s high noon, Fearless stopped, taking a short rest beneath the shade of a giant tree. He knee-kicked his rock hard rye bread into two and soaked them in wine and water, then added a piece of jerky into the bow to soften them. The horrible mismatching taste of his self-invented dish almost put him into tears. It reminded Fearless of his mom’s homemade cooking, she was never a good cook, and even his dad had to admit that.
Unlike Fearless, Iliva had a great time with her meal. She managed to catch herself a forest badger, before long, she skinned, gutted it and turned it into a toasty piece of lunch with a small touch of ancient magic. A gloating smile spread on her red lips when she discovered Fearless’ mouthwatering and envious gaze directed at her food. She merrily enjoyed her lunch while watching Fearless agonizingly chowed down his unappetizing meal.
Looking at that scene made Fearless realized that he really knew nothing about this world of Escana, the world of the Reign of Chaos that he was familiar with for more than a decade. He knew the lore, the events that happened in the past and the future of this world, but he really knew nothing about it.
He has never asked himself how the Arachne would have their meal, would they turn their meal into liquid and suck them like spiders do or they would have their meal like human do. Or do they had fangs that can inject venoms inside their mouth? That was something the nerdiest fans of the game would ask, people like Misery and his fan base. Until this day, in Fearless’ mind, magic was magic, lore was lore and he just accepted them as how the game developers tried to justify their game mechanics and trying to hook the players with the narrative. He has never truly questioned them. If only Fearless could share this piece of knowledge with Misery…
“Iliva, have you never ask yourself why is that I can turn the situation around and captured you?”
Fearless decided to change the topic inside his head. It made him really depressed.
“Are you mocking me, annoying bug?” Iliva immediately provided Fearless the entertainment he desired with her scowling look.
“I am trying to tell you the reason why you lost in that battle and got yourself captured so that you would never make the same mistake again,” Fearless reasoned.
“And why would you do that?” She asked doubtfully. Her alerted and defensive stance was incredibly beautiful to Fearless and he could not help but admired.
“I can’t bear the thought of you might get yourself captured by a man other than myself,” he said, smiling.
“Hmph,” Iliva said nothing, just hummed and wiped her greasy mouth with a napkin she made with her spider thread.
“You can kill me with your spiders in the first two nights. But you didn’t. You prolonged the battle unnecessarily and I was able to recompose myself to learn about your tactic and turn it against you.”
“Don’t kid yourself. You got that annoying instrument of your accursed goddess protecting you. Otherwise, we would have killed you the very moment we spotted you, annoying bug,” Iliva scoffed.
“Oh, so that was what it is. Then, you should try to think outside the box,” Fearless made a fist and struck it against his palm after discovered the biggest question he had for himself regarding of how he managed to survive the first two nights.
“Outside the box?” Iliva repeated. The term must have come as alien to her, even if she knew each word, she was not able to understand the terminology without anyone explain it to her.
“I mean you should be more creative with your thinking. Why didn’t you order your spiders to spin webs ahead of my path to block or prevent me going straight and drain me of my strength even further for example? You could have created a maze of web within this wood with that many spiders under your command. Or making traps with your webs, placing heavy boulders and rocks at the end of the string and swinging those terrible things at me from the top of the branches. Also, if that instrument of mine was a problem, why didn’t you think of any method to separate me from it? I can think of countless methods for that. If I was you and you was me, you would have fallen prey to the spiders during the first night.” Fearless told her.
Stolen story; please report.
And Iliva just had a look of shock and cautious on her face for the very first time. She stared at Fearless and asked, “How do you live your life until now?”
“I’m glad you ask that question. That was the first time you show any real interest toward myself,” Fearless smiled ear to ear.
“I don’t care about you,” Iliva clicked her teeth and flustered, “I only wonder what kind of a man you are, to come up those kind of insane strategies on the spot,”
His eyes closed, he reassessed to the illusionary character sheet inside his head for the second time. The biography on the first page confirmed to Fearless that he was dead and he was a part of the game. But it did not explain to him how he was able to develop his consciousness in this world if he was just a combined pieces of codes. He still had the memories and the skills that only himself and the people that are closest to him know. There was no way the game developers could code them into his character. Fearless quickly scrolled to the third page of his character sheet, the very page that displayed his unique perks. This page proved that this very character of his, the supposed to be a bunch of codes that the game developer patched together to recreate Fearless himself inside this game, was merely his public image. This was not himself. But even so, there was one thing that the description wasn’t wrong.
“I’m a pro-gamer,” replied Fearless.
The reason behind people started calling him a cuckolding bastard and a motherfucker was due to that incident where a pro-gamer of another pro-team attack Misery publicly after accidentally discovered that Misery had dyslexia. That asshole, who Fearless never bother to remember the name, verbally attacked Misery on public media and it did not stop at the level of mere trash-talking inside the game to get into the head of Misery and disrupted his performance. It was extremely malicious, completely unwarranted and over the top. Both FY and Fearless had to step up to file a complaint to the head of ROC pro-league organization. However, despite the warning and the fine incurred to him, that asshole did not stop what he has done, he wholeheartedly escalated them further, dragging his fans and his entire team fan base into the battle.
The thing with Misery was that his edginess was merely a protective reflex of his to hide his inner insecurity and complexes. He was never as headstrong and confident as his public image appeared. He was the most emotional guy among the team and everyone in the team knew that. During that time, Misery had the worst time of his life and Fearless wasn’t even talking about his gaming performance, even the owner of The Alliance was thinking about trading Misery for another player at one point had it not the entire team’s effort to make him reconsidered that decision.
FY did what he did best, rallying the entire fan base of The Alliance to support Misery. Merleon and Fantasy did what they could on their media platforms. And Fearless, when he saw Misery chewing on a bunch of anti-depression pills day in and day out, he only thought of destroying the asshole’s life and making an example of that asshole to anyone who dared to hurt his friend like that. He did not even know he had it in him to commit such atrocity. Up until that point, he thought of himself as a nice and easy going person. He did not think that he could ever come up with something so nasty and dark.
And he just went and did it after five months.
The Internet started to call Fearless as that asshole’s father and they made a meme out of that. That asshole disappeared completely after that, nobody in his pro-team could find or contact him ever again. His entire fan base disappeared with him. And Fearless, he gained his just notoriety after that. Half of his fan base ditched him and a large number of fans of ROC community labeled him as a villain after that.
Misery looked for him after that. He decked him, asking him why he would commit such insanity.
“That’s not who you are. Why did you do something like that? I would rather being mocked like that for my entire life than seeing you did something like that,” Misery yelled at him while crying. That was the first and the only time Fearless saw Misery cried.
And Fearless, he was changed man to after that event. He was never the same again.
“Pro-gamer?”
Iliva’s question snapped Fearless out of his short trip to his memory.
“Someone who play game to make a living. Think of me as a performer like musician or story tellers for example,” Fearless explained, not really sure if Iliva could understand that.
“That’s still does not answer my question,” Iliva scowled.
“Well, it does actually. The game I play is known to most people of this world as war though. However, it was very different from the kind of normal war. Iliva, try to imagine that the gods decide to cast a magic on my perception, making me feel like fighting a thirty years war as short as an hour and give me all the wars and enemies for me to fight with all the soldiers I need to wage my war,” Fearless smiled and made an attempt to describe his job to Iliva.
“What kind of gods could do that?” Iliva immediately prompted a question.
“The true creators of this world, I think… but that is not what I intend to discuss with you here so don’t bother yourself with that. You see, that magic they cast on me allow me to fight and perceive a thirty years war within an hour. And I have kept going to wars nonstop for over fourteen years of my life to please those gods and even the gods of those gods. How many war and how many battle do you think I have fought?” Fearless asked while fidgeting with the illusionary screens inside his head, meaninglessly turning the pages back and forth.
“That’s impossible to count,” Iliva grimaced.
“That should make you feel somewhat better to lose in a battle against someone like me, doesn’t it?” Fearless cackled and asked.
“You said that the gods give you all the wars and enemies for you to fight for fourteen years. So who else did they cast that magic on to fight against you in all those wars?” Iliva did not reply and prompted yet another question.
“You are surprisingly smart Iliva,” Fearless was genuinely surprise by that question. He looked at Iliva with new found respect.
“I will kill you,” Iliva just gritted her teeth in a threatening voice as usual.
“About sixty millions people, though the only people who were as good as me number about one thousands,“ Fearless casually gave Iliva the number of the people who played ROC and the number of pro-gamers inside the league.
“That’s absurd,” Iliva exclaimed. Her face twisted.
“Don’t worry, the only one of my kind you would ever meet is me,” Fearless comforted her, imaging what she must have been thinking inside her beautiful head, she was telling herself not to make enemy out of that many human, ”Though, I don’t know which is more absurd, my story or the fact that you would believe my story.”
“You don’t have any reason to trick me on that anyway,” Iliva replied innocently.
“Pardon me, but I do,” Iliva’s surprising answer made Fearless wanted to tease her and so he did.
“You do?”
“To make me look better in front of you”
“And what good would that do?”
“I thought that maybe you would really start considering me as a potential target for marriage partner,” Fearless joked.
“In your dream,” Iliva flustered and tossed the forest badger’s bones at her feet toward Fearless, her face beet red.
“I’m already dreaming,” Fearless mumbled and avoided the projectiles.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The sun rose again, signaling the third morning after she was forced to company the annoying bug to the forest edge.
“What are you doing, annoying bug?” Iliva clicked her tongue and asked. That annoying little bug was up to something no good again. He immediately went for a groveling stance on the ground in front of Iliva the very moment he woke up.
“Worshipping,” he replied, still groveling in front of Iliva.
“Who are you worshiping?” Iliva asked, a thousand of questions spun within her head like she was threading a tapestry with a thousand colorful threads to give reason to that annoying bug’s strange behavior.
“Goddess,” he said, still refused to raise his head.
“Which goddess? Eogaill or that accursed Niwdar?” Iliva turned her head around to look for the sign of the human’s goddess existence or their idol within the camp and could not see anything.
“There is only one goddess a man like me would worship. Her name is beauty,” replied the annoying bug.
“Are you mocking me, annoying bug?” Iliva asked.
“Sacrilege. How could you call ‘this tears’ mocking?” the annoying bug immediately raised his head, pointing at his own tears drenched face and his bloodshot eyes.
“Sorry?” pressured by the annoying bug’s bloodshot eyes, somehow a strange word Iliva didn’t want to vocal actually slipped out of her lips.
“You should be,” the annoying bug took that as an apology and went back grovel again.
“So, am I beautiful?” Iliva examined her body once again and asked.
“Sacrilege. How dare you doubt the destructive power of high knee stockings combined with the Victorian’s Mystic Dream Demon Floral Lace & Stripe babydoll set?” the annoying bug raised his head again, screaming at Iliva.
“What’s wrong with you human?” and Iliva could not help but screamed right back at him.
“No, what’s wrong with you? I taught you about the divine proportion last night, did I not? I told you these divine garments are the epitome of the divine proportion. Is that not why you recreated them with your threads and put them on?” The annoying bug screamed with tears in his eyes. His face red, his breathing wild and erratic and he was meaninglessly swinging his arms around as if he was still drunk from the wine he drank last night.
It was indeed that he was talking to Iliva about the Greek perfect section proportion and some number or something similar last night but she could not understand. He told Iliva that she would be a hundred times more beautiful if she wore clothes that followed that divine proportion something and Iliva disagreed with him, telling that it was impossible.
The annoying bug angrily scratched his head and cursed before producing a small painting from his strange looking leather box and gave it to Iliva. It was a very realistically drawn painting, perhaps it was created by the ingenious hands of the most talented painter in the world to capture the totality of such beauty. The human inside that painting was a very beautiful female even in the Arachne’s standard. Her waist length hair was dark and glossy, her hair was so beautiful that no female Arachne could ever hold a contest against. Her skin was light tanned, looking extremely soft and glossy that even the most pretty female Arachne Iliva saw in the settlement would die to have such skin. Her eyes was colored in hazel and the faint smile on her cherry lips said it all, that she had the absolute confidence in her beautiful look. This hateful female human was everything Iliva wished that she was. She was the most beautiful female Iliva has ever seen.
“Why are you showing me this painting, annoying bug? To mock me?” Iliva angrily demanded while sinking her teeth into her inner lips to prevent herself from being teared up in front of the annoying bug. Her chest felt like it was stabbed by invisible spears. She was full of jealousy and hatred.
“No, why do you think that, stupid? Look, do you see the garments she wore? These are the divine garments, they highlight everything that’s beautiful about her,” the annoying bug pointed at the woman in the painting he gave Iliva, “She’s absolutely stunning but these garments transformed her into a goddess. If only I could give you these…” he said and immediately passed out from the wine he drank.
After that, he showed no response to Iliva no matter what she did to him, whether stepping on his face with her elven feet, poking his chest with her arachnid legs, pinching his nose with her fingers or slapping his face with her hands, the annoying bug slept through all of that, snoring loudly.
Iliva went back to her handmade hammock and stared at the painting of that hateful female woman. Why would the gods create this female human looking like that and her despite being an Arachne looking like this? This world is full of unfairness. This world is full of hate. And the painting of that female woman blurred out on Iliva, the tears of anger and jealousy welled up her eyes.
Only the shouting and screaming of that pitiful human stopped Iliva from her hateful jealousy toward that female human. He was at it again, talking in his sleep, crying and begging, screaming and crying. And that strange name escaped his mouth again, Alice, he called and cried miserably, clawing the ground with his fingers as if trying to prevent that person in his dream from leaving him.
And Iliva dropped from her swinging hammock. It’s not like she cared about him or anything, she just thought that he was pitiful and she could not stand seeing someone who defeated her like that being so pitiful. She brought him to his camp fire and dropped the blanket she made for him over his trembling body. He was truly pitiful.
Alice, he still called that name, thank you, he said in his sleep, his lips curved into a grateful smile.
And Iliva furiously stomped away. Her mood worsen and her chest was full of pain and misery. That name stuck inside her head like a sore wooden stake. Then she looked at the painting he gave her, is this hateful female human Alice? Must be, Iliva could not imagine another female being prettier than this. No wonder the annoying bug was so infatuated with her.
The annoying bug has lied to her all along. He told her she was beautiful, how she could be when comparing to this hateful female woman. He told her that she was the most beautiful woman he has seen, how could it be? That hateful female human in the painting was just that beautiful. Even the like of Niwdar and Eogaill would cry bloody tears, hanging their head in shame and jealousy toward this human female, let alone an abomination like her, a hideous looking abomination that belonged to nowhere. Her heart was full of anger and pain. She looked at that annoying and lying bug, he was sleeping peacefully now, no sleep-talking, no screaming, no sobbing, no begging or anything else. He was so much at peace now just because he mistook Iliva for this hateful Alice. How dare he? After tricking her and lying to her, showing this hateful female human to her, making her full of pain and jealousy, how dare he?
She glared at him with her eyes full of hatred. Iliva thought of crushing the heart of that annoying and lying bug with her powerful arachnid leg then took back her pearl afterward. The annoying bug will never get to see his hateful female human ever again. And this hateful female woman with her accursed confident smile, Iliva imagined that her smile would die faster than wisps of smoke dissipated after a red ember has been snuffed out when she found her man has been killed.
That was what he deserved for lying to her. That was what that accursed female human deserved for that smug look on her face.
Iliva was about to throw that painting into the orange flame of the camp fire and carried out the deed afterward. Then, she remembered his words, that those strange garments that his hateful female human wore, they were divine garments that elevated and highlight her beauty. Iliva quickly shook her head, “No way, it’s not possible,” she thought, and yet, the uncertainty thought of “maybe” changed everything.
Unlike her spiders, Iliva was an Arachne, she could create threads of many colors other than white. It was a trait she inherited from her mother and her ancestor. Thus, Iliva began by spinning a black thread, dark as a moonless night sky and the color of that annoying bug’s hair. Then, she stopped and changed her mind. Black reminded her of the hair color of her kind, the color that gave her so much grief and pain. Black was the color of that hateful female human’s hair in the picture.
Iliva had no love for weaving and recreating these garment in that hateful color. Then, what color should she used to create these garments? Iliva pondered and suddenly, the cracking camping fire that annoying bug made gave Iliva the answer. Red, it had to be red, the fiery red of her eyes, the red of anger, hatred and jealousy inside her wounded heart, red, it had to be red.
And Iliva spun a thread that was just as red as her ugly eyes, using it to recreate the strange garments in the painting. She followed the painting to the minute details, recreating the strange pattern and the smoothness of each part of the garments that were depicted vividly in the painting. She even detailed the almost transparent net that cascaded from the chest piece of the garment by tearing her red thread into thinner and slimmer threads only to weave them together in the end. It took Iliva an entire night to recreate those strange garments in the painting with her threads. She thought of that annoying bug for the entire night whilst recreating those strange garments. And even when she was satisfied with her final creation and tossed those failure pieces into the orange flame, she still thought of that annoying bug, wondering how would he looked at her, what kind of praises he would lavish at her.
And yet, he groveled on the ground, lying to her that he was worshipping to a goddess. There was no goddess or the idol of any goddess around here. Is he trying to tell Iliva that he rather look at the ground than an abomination like her?
“Stand up, look at me in the eyes and tell me that I’m beautiful,” she angrily demanded, her fist clenched tight, she felt like she would be at least satisfy if he told her a lie.
The annoying and lying bug stood up just as he was told. He walked toward Iliva, tenderly held her hand, planted his lips on the back of her hand and looked at her in the eyes, “In this very moment, you are without a doubt the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, my dear Iliva. You are as gorgeous and otherworldly as any divine goddess. And even if a goddess was to descend right now, I would not look at her, I would only look at you,” he said and sealed her lips with his own.
Just like that, the flame of anger and hatred that the lying bug sowed inside her heart dissipated and doused within those lips of his.
And yet, the pain never went away. She walked by his side for that entire day, listening to his praises, secretly basking in his lustful gaze over her body, and yet, she could not bring herself to ask him the questions she really wanted to ask.
“If that female human inside the painting was here right now, who would you look at? Me or her?”
“Is she Alice? Who is Alice? Is Alice even prettier than that female human?”
“Why are you still calling for Alice at night when I’m right next to you?”
“Why are you so different from everyone else?”
“Why is it so painful to be around you, annoying bug?”
She could not get those question off her chest. And yet, she could not bring herself to ask him either. Somehow, she could never do that. And, the sun set again, made way for dusk and night time.
She wanted to get rid of the pain inside her chest, yet she had no idea how to do that. When the annoying bug called for his Alice, she felt like she would cry. Her heart felt like it was burst by hundreds of thousands spears. She had not felt such misery after making a home in this forest for fifteen years.
“What should I do with you to rid myself of this pain, annoying bug?” she asked, gazed at his screaming and thrashing body next to the cracking camp fire.
“If I kill you myself, would this pain go away?” she asked to the pitiful crying and screaming human, knowing that he would never give her the answer to that question.