ANIKA: UNPLEASANT REFLECTIONS

Anika wakes up next to Ned. Not close, but it reminds her of the last time she woke up in bed with a man.

In many ways, it is the nature of princesses to be lonely. They grow up surrounded by family and servants. Isolated from others by complicated barriers of protections and guards. There is little chance for making friends and even less chance for falling in love.

So when it comes to interpersonal relationships, even the most powerful, politically-savvy Princess is doomed to be a bit naïve. So it was with Anika.

She formed a crush on a man. A dashing, charismatic, and handsome lieutenant in her personal guard. The crush turned out to be mutual. Secretly, they became lovers.

And when the bomb hit, he was caught up in the forefront of the blast. The first to die. Laying there next to Ned, she remembered what it felt like to wake up next to her lost lover. That made her want to cry.

Her tears were tempered by a rude slice of reality, however. Of her whole entourage, the only one who knew the itinerary, schedule, and route was herself.

But her attackers knew exactly where to find her. The information was leaked. Searching back through her memories she found one unguarded moment. One instance where she had discussed her schedule ahead of time.

A careless slip during pillow talk with her lover. He was the only one. The only one who could have leaked the information which led to the attack and, ironically, his own death.

With a sigh, she gets out of bed. Pads silently into the bathroom barefoot and starts the shower.

As she washes off the last of the poison sludge that has been ejected from her body, her tears mix with the water. Tears for her lost love. Tears for his betrayal. Tears for a brutally tragic end to her romantic dreams.

Princesses cry too. Sometimes. When they’re all alone.

HOUSEGUEST

Ned stirs, shifting his body.

He opens his eyes and brings a hand up to wipe the sleep away.

Turning his head, he’s confronted by a pair of deep gray eyes and a smile.

A slender finger with a long nail digs into the tip of his nose. With a sigh he rolls off the side of the bed to escape his tormentor.

“Ok, I’m awake,” he says and pads into the bathroom.

It’s clear that Marthelion has been in to take a shower. Evidence being the water all over the floor and the balled up towel sitting on the counter.

He sighs and quickly cleans up before stepping into the shower himself. Ten minutes later, he’s completed his morning routine and emerges to see what his house guest has been up to.

As expected, she is waiting for him in the kitchen. There is evidence that she has tried (and failed) to feed herself. Plus evidence of attempts to hide the evidence. He hides a smile and gets to work.

Ten minutes later she is happily eating, stuffing her cheeks like a squirrel who has just woken up from a long winter’s nap. Ned is pretty hungry too, so for a while there’s no sound other than chewing and swallowing.

Once they finish, Ned gets up to clear the dishes. She steps up to help him, so he shows her how to dry.

Then she puts the kettle on while he gets the rest of the tea things ready. As he sits down to drink, Marthelion lifts up her shirt and shows him her wound. The skin has lost its sickly color, now looking just like the flesh around it. All that is visible is a white scar across her brown skin. Dropping her shirt, she shows him her leg. All better except for a long white line of a scar.

With a big smile he raises his hand up for a high five. Then spends five minutes teaching her what a high five is and getting the coordination down with her.

Which turns out to be difficult since she is more than a head taller than him and there’s a lot of bouncing going on at eye level.

Which reminds him that he really needs to get her some clothes. She’s tall and proportionally broad. Too tall and too big to find anything off-the-rack in town or even in the nearest city. Maybe anywhere.

So he digs through his closet looking for some things she can wear that will be a little less provocative (from his viewpoint) and more comfortable to wear (from her viewpoint).

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Half an hour later, he has her kitted out in some sweatpants (too short but not too tight), a hoodie (almost not too tight), and a pair of gag slippers that look like fuzzy rubber ducks.

Then he sits her down and introduces her to the wonders of internet shopping. By the end of the day, she had magi-tazed his credit card.

Three days later, she holds a fashion show for him in the living room. Two pairs of tight leather pants and a short leather jacket. A summer dress and a couple of silk blouses. A pair of black spike heels, one pair of flats and, inexplicably, a boot lace as a hair tie. He did manage to stop her before she could model her lingerie. He couldn’t tell if she’d been serious about showing him, but he’s pretty sure she’s laughing at him.

The next day, he books a ride into town. They go to a pharmacy to get toiletries. A Mexican restaurant for tacos and enchiladas, then on to a used bookstore. Because it’s Ned and that’s where Neds go for fun. Don’t judge.

ANIKA: CAT PRINCESS

Anika wanders around the bookstore. Wide-eyed with delight. So many books about so many different subjects. She, of course, had spent hundreds of hours in the Palace Library but she had never visited a place where books were sold. She isn’t sure, but she has a feeling that book stores on this world are much the same as on her world - and yet totally different.

She finds sections on cooking, history, art, and many other subjects. She can’t read anything, but she loves the illustrations.

Finally she comes to a section with books that tell their stories with pictures. Pictures and words, but almost understandable for her. One of them has a little half-cat, half-human girl who seems to always be fighting someone or something. The girl must be a princess because she wears a tiara just like her own back home.

Ned finds her there and she points it out to him. She had originally introduced herself by her title, not by her name. Something she kind of regrets now, since he’s been so kind to her. And there is no one here to argue about etiquette.

When she points out the tiara and says her title, ‘Marthelion’, he gets a weird look on his face then leads her over to another bookshelf. Pulling down a heavy book, he searches out a picture and shows it to her. She immediately recognizes what has to be a royal family. Pointing to each person, she gives Ned the titles. King, queen, prince, princess.

Oddly, he doesn’t seem surprised that she is claiming to be a Princess. When he goes to leave, she asks him to buy the books with the little cat-princess. He buys those plus some other things - little silver discs - that come in a box with her picture on them.

NED: MARTHELION NEKOSAMA

Marthelion wanders off while he browses through the language reference section. Then going to the children’s education section he finds a couple of books to help teach her the alphabet. He really has no clue how long Marthelion is going to be with him, but he figures that he might as well start a language exchange with her. Picking up his basket of books, he searches through the store for her until he finds her in the anime section, looking through a manga.

“Oh, Princess Nekosama,’ he says. She's found a popular magical girl style manga featuring a cat-eared, cat-tailed princess who fights like a superhero.

“Marthelion,” she says, pointing to the tiara sitting between Nekosama’s ears. Then she points at herself, “Marthelion.”

Ned thinks for a moment. Then leads her over to the history section. Finding a book on European history, he searches through the pages until he finds a picture of a royal family. Shows it to her.

Pointing to different people in the picture, she says “Marthel (king), Martheli (queen), Marthelio (prince), and marthelion (princess).”

“Holy crap!” he mutters to himself, “I was right, she is a princess!”

Adding the book to his basket, plus, after some mute negotiation, the Princess Nekosama anime dvd box set plus three volumes of the Princess Nekosama manga, he checks out and they head home.

NED: MAGIC CIRCLE AND GONE

Marthelion puts Ned to work in the kitchen while she starts watching her Princess Nekosama anime. It’s pretty basic, with action and physical comedy pretty much carrying the storyline.

Dinner is served in front of the tv while Ned uses the anime to teach and learn more words. He is very much interested in Marthelion’s language and is well on his way to developing a beginner dictionary and even a little grammar. Languages are his specialty and he has a well-established system for approaching a new one. He falls asleep on the couch before they get even halfway through season one.

He wakes up there the next morning, finding a blanket covering him. Curses his stiff neck and starts his day.

And things proceed like this for some time. Ned gets back into his routine. Despite being a princess, Marthelion is fairly low maintenance - keep her fed and let her watch tv and she seems content. They go on walks through the countryside, teach each other words and slowly learn to communicate.

Which is how she is able to tell him that she is leaving. Princesses, it seems, are not allowed to take long vacations. No matter how much the guy they’re sponging off of secretly wishes they would stay.

They walk to town and pick out a small suitcase. A slick metallic white bag which Marthelion decorates with Princess Nekosama stickers she found in the back of one of her manga.

She packs up the next morning (half the bag is stuffed with packages of sour cream ‘n’ onion potato chips), gets dressed in her leathers with a cream-colored silk blouse and matching spike heels, and gives Ned a long, fierce hug.

Then she sits Ned down on the couch and proceeds to impress him with sorcery. Magic circles with glowing lines, chanting in strange tongues, theatrical gestures, and floating lights. The whole works! Finally, a circle of liquid silver grows to fill up one wall and, with one last high five, she turns and walks out of Ned’s life.

No one cries themselves to sleep that night. That’s what the official record shows. In Ned’s case, there is no one around to provide contrary evidence. Besides, it’s allergy season anyway. It’s just pollen in the air causing his eyes to water.

And if the Princess’ personal maids think they hear crying in the darkness? Well, it’s not like they’re going to report it to anyone. If your boss is a princess, there’s never any misunderstanding about which side of the bread has the butter.

And so ends this romance.

Well, not a romance really, but it could have been. Or so it is in Ned’s dreams anyway. And who would blame him for developing a crush on a beautiful princess? Especially when she’s taking frequent showers in his bathroom and sitting around on his couch in her PJs watching anime, munching potato chips, and eating ice cream straight out of the carton all night.

And of course, a princess would never fall for a simple guy like Ned. That would be too much of a cliché.