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The Island: An Elrich Saga Novel
Chapter 12 I Am Relaxed, Damnit

Chapter 12 I Am Relaxed, Damnit

Mother wasn't in the room when I got in and she wasn't in the room when our daily allowance was delivered to our door. There had been some sign that she slept in her bed but she must have gotten up really early for her not to wake me. I left her portion of the money on the table and tucked the rest away in a small pocket I'd sewn into the hem of my ball gown. The coins made it hang funny but since I left it folded up in the box that wasn't an issue. I wasn't dumb, if mom hit a 'streak' she'd want more money and would go digging through my things to find it.

No, on second thought, leaving it in the room at all was probably a bad idea. She'd check the box and feel the weight of the dress. What had seemed like a good idea last night was suddenly seeming sort of dumb. I had to keep it with me. How did I do that?

I glanced at my knitting bag and thought that may be the best idea. The two drawstring bags couldn't really be carried around by themselves. I needed something to put them in. So I put them in the bottom of my knitting bag and tossed my bathing suit in the bag as well. I wanted to go to the spa today and would most likely need it.

My first stop was breakfast. It felt like forever since the food last night. My stomach gave an urgent rumble. So I hurried down the steps.

There was a desk set up in the center of the room with three very bored and weary looking women manning it. The blonde on the corner glanced up and pointed to the ballroom.

"Breakfast can be had in the ballroom. There is also food being served in the casino section," She pointed to the back of the building. A place where I hadn't yet explored and had no plans to do so.

I nodded at her and approached her.

"I'm wanting to visit the spa today and maybe see some of the other things. I'm not big into gambling," I gave her a slight smile hoping for some friendly service.

"Here's a map," she picked a piece of paper up off a stack and began to circle things with her pen. "This is the building that houses the spa." She circled it. "There are horse drawn carts that go back and forth at the top of every hour or you can choose to walk. It's rather scenic but can be considered a bit of a hike for our more elderly guests. The beach of course." She circled the beach area. "Try and stay within the area. Goblin Crabs are still an issue. We have a dedicated lifeguard on duty in this area able to take care of any crabs, but not in other areas. Over here," she circled a spot near the spa buildings. "Is another swimming area. It is an artificial pool of fresh water. I should mention that there is some rather nice hiking in this area in general, just stay on the path and do not go into the restricted areas. They will be labeled." She looked up at me. "Are you the athletic type? We have some nice athletic courts."

"No not really, but I would like to visit the store." I gave a self deprecating-smile. We were both women and shopping seemed to be an age-old woman's pastime.

"Yes, that's right back there," she pointed behind her towards where the casino was. "There are shops to the left and right before you enter our gaming area."

"Thank you," I began to take the map.

"I should mention that you can order a packed lunch if you tell us where you will be at one o'clock. Lunch will be served here from noon to two, but we can send out our carts for patrons wanting to make a day of the beach, spa, pool, or athletic fields."

"Oh, well I plan on being in the spa at least until then. Do I order lunch here?"

"No, there is a table in the ballroom with an assistant taking orders. They will be able to provide you with all the options for the day." The blonde let go of the map. "There are a few other site-seeing places, the flower garden, the hedge maze, the cliffs but we don't offer any assistance to get there or offer any meal deliveries.

"Tomorrow we are hosting a cliff climbing class. If you would like to sign up for it please fill out this paper here." She motioned to a paper that had a handful of names on it. The fourth name was Maize. Huh? So Maize wanted to climb cliffs?

"How difficult is it?"

"It's a beginner level course. Over the course of your stay if you choose you can take the more advanced classes. However, you have to take the beginner class in order to take more advanced classes.

"We have a swimming class at the pool for those who wish to learn. A few group hiking activities and a signup for team sports." She waved her hand over several other signup sheets.

I signed up for the cliff climbing. I had a feeling I would be rather sore after but I did want to spend more time with Maize. She was a quirky person, but kind.

"Please meet here tomorrow at nine. You will have an introduction to your equipment then will hike to the cliffs to begin. You will break for lunch at noon. Meals will be delivered to the cliffs for people participating in the class. The class will be over at two. We encourage ladies to purchase the climbing outfit in the store." She leaned in and whispered, "It's difficult to climb in skirts so we've brought in some of the more modest lady adventurer styles. Pants," she whispered even lower.

"Oh," I pretended to be slightly taken aback. Woohoo, socially acceptable way to wear pants!

"Yes," the woman nodded, "but it's necessary for this activity I'm afraid." She blushed a little.

"Thank you for telling me. I will be sure to stop by the store."

"If you tell them you are taking the class you get a discount. Give then this," she handed me a ticket. It said 80% off climbing gear.

I nodded, picked up my coupon and my map and went to the ballroom for the food.

Round tables had been set up in the ballroom and a long buffet had been put out. The room wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be, only about thirty people. Most people were probably sleeping in after the party last night.

I walked up to the assistant and placed my lunch order. There were three options and I chose the chilled chicken sandwich, apple, grapes, coleslaw, and fried potatoes. It was certainly safer than the Goblin Crab meal. I wasn't going to trust any seafood option as being safe to eat left to go cold.

Meal ordered I wandered to the buffet. It was long and divided into sections of cold and hot. Items that were grab and go and items that were meant to be eaten on a plate at the table. I grabbed a plate and scooped up some scrambled eggs. I added some mystery sausage. There wasn't anything indicating what meat it was made of. There were some red steamed cherry tomatoes. I placed three on my plate and had to balance to keep them from rolling off. I grabbed a warm fluffy biscuit and pulled it apart right there so I could add butter and strawberry jam to it.

There were so many options and I was sorely tempted by the waffles, but I decided that I could always get those tomorrow. I didn't need to eat everything today. I did grab two whole apples, two boiled eggs still in their shells, and another biscuit wrapped in wax paper. While lunch would be provided, I didn't want to have to come back here if I got peckish.

"They have an option for a packed lunch if you are going to be in any of the designated areas at one," a man who was filling the bin with fresh wrapped biscuits commented as I tucked them into my bag.

"I did order lunch, but I'm a snacker." I smiled at him.

"The beach, pool, spa, and the courts each have a drink bar with light snacks. We don't want our guests to become dehydrated in the heat." He smiled at me. "Mostly fruit, carrot sticks, and crackers. If you're planning on snacking I would grab some of that cheese over there to go with the crackers. It holds up really well in the heat if you keep it out of the sun." He nodded to some wax covered boxes with cheese cubes inside.

"Thank you," I smiled at him and placed a box in my bag and another box to open and eat with my meal. They really should have had a cheese plate open for people.

I made my own tea at the drink station and dug in. I ate everything. It was all so good. Even the hard cheese. I went back up to the bar and requested a bag to put grapes in. They were more than willing to give me a paper bag with a bunch of grapes. I also grabbed another box of cheese. Grapes, cheese, and crackers sounded like a good meal to go with afternoon tea.

I still had some time to kill before the cart to the spa arrived. I decided to explore the shops.

The shops were massive and to be honest I didn't even know where to begin. There was a center display at the door that had a huge assortment of ladies hats. Behind that display was a counter filled with all sorts of bottles and makeup. The woman behind the counter smiled at me and waved me in.

"Climbing gear for the class?" I asked her as I approached. Her smile was a little more forced but directed me to the correct area of the shop.

There I was met by a man who was HUGE. I mean he was easily the largest man I'd ever met. I'd met tall men and men with lots of bulk on them but never one so tall and bulky. He was easily seven foot tall and was built like he seriously worked on his muscles. Even with his size I still thought he was 100% human.

He was very delicately folding men's socks. His counter was piled with socks some unfolded and on the other side others neatly creased together. It was odd seeing a man with hands larger than the socks folding them, like a child folding doll clothes.

I approached and was helped at once. Gods above, this man flounced over to the section with the ladies climbing gear.

"I'm teaching the class, ya know." He waved his hand around. "I'm hoping for a decent group. They'll only keep the class if it's popular, ya know." He pursed his lips and twirled his finger around. "Now, let's get a look at you. Why yes, cool colors, I think. We don't have a huge selection for the ladies but I just know I have something for you." Then he waved me away and started to grab things off shelves and displays.

"Um," I tried to interrupt.

"Now Sugarbear, leave this to your Uncle Rammy. He knows what he's doing." He once again turned and started to grab things.

When he was finished he took me to changing area and started handing me things. It was a whirlwind of my trying things on and taking them off. I didn't even really have time to process what I was putting on my own body before Rammy ran off to find something else.

The next thing I knew I was the proud owner of an ice blue and dark blue climbing outfit with matching boots, gloves, and a headscarf for my hair. All of it in spider silk. All of it would cost a small fortune if not for the discount. I winced as most of the money that had been given to me for the day was swept into Rammy's register.

Rammy promised to have everything delivered to my room seeing as I still needed to catch the cart and didn't really have time to take everything back up and make it back down in time.

I did make it to the cart and sat down next to a couple of old woman wearing the sunhats that had been provided. I did note that instead of feathers they adorned their hats with flowers made from folding up bits of colored paper. What would they do if it rained?

The cart trip was uneventful but beautiful. It was a very picturesque island. We'd turn a corner and suddenly the trees would fall away and we'd have an unimpeded view of the ocean. It was so blue shimmering from the sun. Then it would be hidden again by more trees.

I had no idea we had gotten so close to our destination. It was completely hidden by a turn in the path and by a particularly dense area of woods. We were just suddenly upon it, a large open clearing with a single large building.

There was a meadow surrounding the area and in the distance further along the path I could see what I thought was most likely the swimming area. Further along, the side was a cliff drop off that offered more open views of the ocean. You could see the mountain on the north side of the island in the far distance.

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"Welcome!" A tiny woman appeared in front of the cart. She lifted up a hand to help one of the older ladies down.

"It's so far," one of the women grumped at her.

"We have to build where the hot pools are. I assure you it is worth the trip."

The woman humfed at her and waddled into the building with her companion.

"Hi," I said. I felt a little bad for the woman she wasn't at fault.

"Welcome," the woman beamed at me. Gods above, her teeth were perfect and large.

"I'm Karen! I will be your spa liaison for the day. I can help settle you in and we can figure out what sort of treatments you would like to experience." She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. It seemed the grumpy woman didn't deter her one bit.

I followed Karen into the building while she asked me all sorts of questions. She suggested I soak in the hot springs while she got me scheduled for a massage, facial, and a hair treatment. She also scheduled an appointment with one of the healers who specialized in chronic pain. After I was done getting rubbed down and pampered I would be free to visit the mud baths.

She walked me through the hot springs procedure. Men and women would be separated so bathing would be done naked. The mud baths were also a naked affair.

Karen gave me an overly large fluffy robe and told me that I could wear it between my appointments. She also gave me a medical-looking shorts and top outfit. They looked like pajamas a temple would make a sick person wear. However, they also looked rather comfy and I didn't want to be running around naked all day or having to re-dress into my street clothes every time I had to go to a different room.

My bag and clothes were shut up in a locker and I was sent to the baths in my new pajamas and robe.

The spring was partially inside, but mostly outside. You got into the spring inside the building but could work your way under a thick leather mat hanging from a passage that led outside. The air inside was very humid, nice in its own way, but I wanted to see what it was like outside.

Outside was a bit scary. I had no idea that the building overlooked another cliff. I hadn't noticed it due to the angle the building sat at. The hot springs overlooked that cliff. It wasn't a view of the ocean but one of looking down into the forest. So the bathing area was sectioned off from the sides to separate men and women but the back was left open without any wall to impede the view. You could swim nearly up to the edge of the cliff and look down. There was a fence in place, made of iron and glass panels, to keep stupid people from climbing out and jumping over.

I was busy looking at the view when the two women from the wagon worked their way under the leather mat. The one woman was still complaining. Nonsensical things. The other woman was just giving her cursory answers.

How was I supposed to relax when she wouldn't stop complaining? Answer, I wasn't.

I eventually went inside after giving the woman a nasty look.

"What is her problem? Young people these days have no respect." Followed me under the mat and back into the building.

I was surprised to see a few other ladies in there.

"She chase you back in?" A woman with flaming bright red hair asked.

"Yes," I said simply.

The group of woman all nodded in understanding. There was a sense of camaraderie and companionship among the group. They'd already weathered the storm together and now they were going to relax even if it killed them. It was that sort of vibe. While I seemed to have missed a large part of the drama, I was accepted into the group as they shifted around to make room for me.

"I rode up here in the cart with them," I added.

"Oh, you poor dear. Was it dreadful?" A large woman asked.

"I was able to ignore most of it because of the new scenery but being out there, there isn't anything new to look at even though it is beautiful."

"Is it? We shall have to go look when they leave, Ginger," the blonde said to the red-head. The red-haired woman was named Ginger? Ok.

Some of the other people in the group murmured agreement. Plans in place they all settled in to relax. Leaning back, taking deep breaths, and only some sparse conversation.

Every so often Karen would walk in and tell one of the women that their spa appointment was soon. When she went passed the leather mat and summoned the complainer it seemed that as one the entire group flowed outside. I decided I'd soaked enough. I was getting pruney and didn't join them.

Instead, I visited my locker and snacked on a boiled egg. Karen caught me just as I was taking a bite of the biscuit. I quickly folded it back up and put it back in my bag.

I was taken into a room with a table. I was greeted by another woman. A muscular brunette who had her hair twisted up in a braid crowning her head. Hilde was her name and she told me to undress and lay face down on the table.

I put my face in the hole and felt her cover up my bum with a sheet. Good to know that my butt wouldn't be left to air out during this experience. Though, it still felt really drafty.

Then I was manhandled into shapes I didn't rightfully think my body should go in. My spine was cracked, my neck twisted, and then I was oiled down and rubbed until it felt like my skin would fall off. Then she placed large warm stones all down my spine and left me to just lay there for a while. Was she weighing me down so that she could contort me some more later? Perhaps she wanted to make sure I stayed in place and decided the best way to do that was to pile warm stones on top of me.

Granted, my back felt great but my skin felt raw and abused. I had a feeling of trepidation when she came back into the room. It was a relief when she told me I could get dressed.

Unburdened from the heavy stones, she brought me to another room where there were a few more women in various states of relaxation. Hilde handed me off to a very somber looking older woman who didn't talk much.

She washed my hair and added some goop to it that felt like clay but smelled like citrus and flowers. My hair up in a towel she sat me back in a reclining chair and started scrubbing my damp face with something that was mildly abrasive.

She wiped that stuff off then using a stick with a magic core at the end she started rubbing my face. The end of the stick was rounded and had been dipped in oil that smelled of fresh rosemary. There was a warmth radiating from the stick that made my face break out in a slight sweat.

Once again I was wiped off. Then she coated my face in a light grey mud. I suspected it was the same stuff that covered my hair from the smell. She added slices of a purple fruit I had never seen before over my eyes. I must admit they did feel cooling after all that warm poking from the magic core massager.

Long past when my face felt like it was cracking and falling off, the woman had me back at the sink so that she could wipe off my face and rinse out my hair. My hair seemed to take forever since parts of it had also hardened up and needed softening to clean it out.

I was transferred to yet another woman with huge curly hair that was the color of a carrot. She clicked and tutted at me as she pulled strands of my damp hair out for inspection. Then without even consulting me, she began to whack away with her scissors.

I had hair cuts before so it wasn't like I wasn't expecting the scissors, but the way she attacked my head with a flurry of flashing blades had my pulse jumping. I didn't even really notice much about the cut but was only grateful I hadn't lost an ear or eye. Looking at the pile of hair under me it looked like she'd sheared my head, but in the mirror, the length looked about the same it just looked overall healthier and a bit bouncy.

I noticed that some women were having their hands and feet worked on and decided to escape before another attendant corralled me into that. If I was going to be climbing cliffs I didn't want my hands and feet raw from being scrubbed with overly ambitious sandpaper.

I fled to the mud baths. My appointment with the healer was in an hour. I would have some time to get into the baths, just to check them out, and have time to wash all the mud off me before the appointment. Even though my face and hair had been muddied already the rest of my body hadn't been.

There was a woman at a desk in front of the baths that went over the etiquette. Don't submerge my head. Keep the mud at neck level and below. Don't get it on your face. She handed me a bunch of pins and a hair cap so I could pin my hair up on top my head and the cap was to make certain my hair wasn't trailing in the mud.

Hair pinned in place and with a large towel wrapped around my naked body I entered the woman's section of the mud baths.

It was like a giant marble and metal bathtub, the size of a small pool, that you had to step down into. Considering it was a pool of mud the room seemed very clean and sterile with only a few signs that other people had recently been there. I didn't know what I had been expecting maybe a deep mud puddle with grass and bits of other flora debris scattered about, not a clean room with just a few stray muddy footprints leading to the showers.

Wiggling was required in order to get full mud coverage. The further down you burrowed into the mud the hotter it got. The mud was very thick and I sat suspended in it unable to feel the bottom. I had to hold onto handles on the side of the tub just to remain stable. There were wooden boards along the side of the tub that looked like little floatation boards for kids learning to swim, but since I didn't know what they were for I left them alone and sort of floated around.

Other than the heat, I didn't feel very different in the mud. Sure my body felt weightless and there was a fun aspect of gooshing mud between your toes, but I didn't feel as relaxed as I could have been since I kept having to correct my body from free-floating around.

Washing off the mud proved to be less of a hassle than I anticipated. The shower heads were detachable so I could make sure I didn't leave any mud behind in my butt creases. I had scraped most of the mud off when I got out but I was still covered. I wondered if the mud going down the drain was reused or if it was sent out to sea with the plumbing.

I was getting hungry again but I didn't have that much time to spare before my healer's appointment. I'd been to multiple healers in the past and wasn't very confident this healer would be able to fix me any more than the ones before. I'd be given anti-inflammatory stuff, some pain killers, and be told I needed to get more sleep.

However, there was some hope. Whatever Lady Margot had done had made me feel rather great. I wasn't sure if she had been trying to fix my inflammation or if it was just a side effect of her healing my burn. Either way, it wasn't likely I would be able to ask her what exactly she did so that I could try to get another healer to replicate it. I didn't know a lot about magic but I knew that healing magic was one where imagination was at the core. Everyone healed differently because they pictured different things as they healed. So even if I could get her to explain it to me it wouldn't be of much help to another healer who worked in a different way.

"Miss Rille," an older man called from the doorway to the healer's rooms. So far today I'd been surrounded by women at the spa. There had only been one other man and I'd avoided him by not having my hair cut by him.

I stood and followed the man into the room. He shut the door and gestured that I should take a seat at the medical table.

Damn, that table was cold on the butt. I was glad I had the robe on or else all I'd have between me and the cold table would have been a pair of thin medical shorts. I could feel my arms and legs break out into goosebumps.

"My name is Humpfry and I am a pain specialist. I was brought here to help our patrons navigate their chronic pain levels while vacationing. I understand from your chart that you have your own supply of Vallerian. Is that right?"

"Yes, I had gotten burned right before we left."

"Yes, I see that here. Just from a cursory glance though it seems to have healed quickly."

"I had a run in with Lady Margot and she did something that sped up the healing."

"Do you happen to know what she did?" He leaned forward a bit and finally glanced up from his paperwork.

"No, I wasn't even aware she was doing it. Whatever she did really helped my overall pain as well. I'm feeling great today."

"And that's not a normal state for you I see. You suffer from chronic inflammation of your joints. Which is probably another reason your healers gave you Vallerian." He looked up at me and frowned a bit. "You do understand the addictive properties of the drug?"

"Yes," I said with a sigh. I had been expecting the question. If you were on painkillers every other healer you saw automatically thought you were an addict lying to get your next fix. It made it difficult for the people who actually suffered from real pain.

"Alright, I will do a cursory examination, but to be honest with you, if you are feeling fine today I don't think I will see much."

"What do you mean."

"Well, to assess your condition and to determine a course of treatment I need to be able to see the areas where you have the problem. Since you are feeling good then your joints aren't swollen and I won't be able to see the swelling points in the exam."

I guess that made sense. You couldn't heal what wasn't broken at the moment.

"However, if you start to swell up again and begin to feel pain I encourage you to make another visit. We might be able to come up with a therapy regimen that would limit your reliance on medication.

"Now lay back for me."

I stretched out and I could feel the telltale signs of healing magic working its way through my body. Warm, it almost always felt warm.

He finished up and told me I was healthy enough to give rock climbing a try, but that I was to come and soak in the hot springs afterward so that I could get ahead of any muscle aches likely to crop up. He also told me that I was to warm up and do some serious stretching before undertaking something so physical. I already knew this and suspected Rammy would lead us in some warmups, but I agreed to the healer's suggestion nonetheless.

After all my treatments I was tired and feeling a bit more stressed than when I went in. Which is probably not what they intended. I went back to my locker for my knitting bag. Lunch would be here soon and I wanted the cheese I'd procured.

My lunch had arrived while I was with the Healer Humpfry. Karen had a stack of paper lunch bags at the front desk with a list of who got what type of lunch. I told her what I had ordered and she found me on the list. She handed over my bag and gave some directions to where the cafe area of the Spa was.

It was a semi-enclosed area around the back of the building. There were tables outside with umbrellas where you could enjoy the breeze and the cliff-side scenery. There was also a bar inside with even more tables.

It was my first time spotting male spa-goers. I was glad to note that they had been dressed in the same medical shorts, top, and robe that the women had. That's probably why they had chosen the gender-neutral shade of clinical green.

All of the men were in their later years. Geriatric most of them. There were a few groups of four but most of the men had an equally elderly woman with them. It was nice to see some couples bonding over cold crab sandwiches. I just hoped that none of these older folks got ill from bad crab. Food poisoning would be more likely to kill someone of their advanced age.

I walked up to the bar and waited my turn. A perky blonde girl with a long ponytail was pouring drinks for the people ahead of me. She seemed so bubbly and happy that I was slightly irritated. It's nothing in particular that she did. Her excessive perkiness triggered a grumpy gene in me. I bet she was a morning person too.

I looked over the short drink menu. Hot drinks...no. I didn't feel like something hot. They had a decent selection of fruit juices with the suggestion that they could be mixed to your preference. Several iced tea choices and water were also listed. Surprisingly, they also had iced soy milk. Fancy.

There was a list of suggested combinations at the bottom. Teas mixed with juice and juices mixed with soy milk over ice. Oh, I was tempted. So tempted that I caved in.

I ordered an iced strawberry-mango juice with soy milk.

I wondered how the juices would interact with the milk. Normal milk didn't mix well with juices so maybe there was something different about soy milk that allowed it to blend well with other things. I didn't know and since it was lunch time and there was a line I didn't bother asking the annoyingly perky girl either.

I thanked her for the drink and made my way to the outside tables.