“Hey look!” A boy no older than fifteen pointed at one of the hundreds of wandering eyes that floated throughout the city.

Even to someone accustomed to magic, the aethereal eyeball only went to confirm that Rosewind was the best city ever. It seemed that every day there was something new to discover. From royal griffins and airships, to a divine citadel, hundreds of adventurer guilds, and even the massive slimes hiding in wells and water tunnels. There was no better way for anyone to start an adventuring career.

Noticing the boy, the eyeball shifted direction, moving in closer.

“Hey there,” it said. “Have you seen a woman with glasses?”

“Huh?” the boy blinked, not expecting to be addressed.

“A tall woman in elegant blue clothes wearing glasses,” the eyeball elaborated. “Have you seen her?”

Dumbfounded, the boy shook his head.

“How long have you been here?”

“A few days…” the boy managed to say.

“I mean on that spot!” the eyeball snapped, annoyed. “How long have you been sitting on that spot?”

“A few hours?” The boy suggested, unsure what answer the magic manifestation wanted to hear.

“Stupid tourists,” the eyeball flew off to search through a different part of the city.

It was annoying how difficult Spok could be to find if she set her mind to it. Theo had been searching for the last hour and still without result. The dungeon had tried talking to her directly; he had made signs form on most of the buildings in the city; he had even resorted to spying magic and yet his spirit guide remained elusive.

Everything pointed to her being in Duke Rosewind’s castle. As one of the few structures not belonging to the dungeon, it was impossible to say what was going on inside. To confound matters even more, neither Cmyk, nor any of his useless apprentices were reachable either.

Just great! Baron D’Argent’s mansion shook.

He desperately needed some assistance. Up till now, his avatar was having a bizarre and utterly fruitless conversation in the Feline Tower. The cats were obviously trying to impress him, but their efforts had missed the mark by a mile. Watching them eat “various flavored” living mice had been unexpected, though not nearly enough compared to what had followed.

With the archmage snoozing off again, Ilgrym had taken it upon himself to “touch upon” a few of the basic rules regarding the expected challenge. As any self-respecting academic, he would go on a tangent every few sentences, discussing ancient mage history, relations between past and present towers—including notable mages—and magic principles that had more gobbledygook in them than Switches’ research notes.

Theo had initially tried to follow the cat’s train of thought but had quickly given up, resorting to the familiar practice of blankly nodding.

As more of the wandering eyes popped or failed to find Spok in the respective area of the city, the dungeon focused all of his attention on the duke’s castle. He knew from personal experience that the noble had a number of anti-spy enchantments mounted within the structure’s walls—even more since the zombie letter event. Even brute force was unlikely to succeed. Thus, Theo was forced to concentrate on the weakest link—the human factor.

Dozens of floating eyeballs clustered around the entrances and windows of the castle, continuously staring inside. All that was left now was someone from the castle to notice and feel uncomfortable enough about it to tell the duke about it.

“And that’s the brief of it,” the black cat finished his long exposition. “Hardly a challenge for you, valued benefactor.”

“Well done, Ilgrym,” Esmeralda said, gnawing on a purple mouse. “If he were going to a magic congregation. No one cares about that crap! The important thing is to enter the tower!”

“It’s good for the tower to show a modicum of decorum.” The black cat’s whiskers twitched. “Just because we’re animals, we mustn’t act like such!”

A hissing contest emerged with both mages aggressively meowing insults at each other. The occurrence must have been rather common, for the majority of other cats didn’t seem in the least bothered. Even Gillian continued snacking with as little as a glance.

“You can leave the table if you want,” a soft female voice whispered into the avatar’s ear.

Turning to his left, the baron saw Sandrian had bent down next to him. In the dungeon’s mind the voice didn’t match at all with the man, but he was the last person to judge.

“It’s not that you’ll learn much here. We’ve gathered all available resources in the learning chambers below.”

At this point, the avatar noticed that the words weren’t coming from the man, but the kitten on his shoulder. The small creature seemed to look at him in mild amusement, its cyan blue eyes glowing with magic.

Switching from listening to a bunch of cats to listening to another cat didn’t fill Theo with enthusiasm. Then again, he didn’t see it going any worse than at present, so he discreetly stood up with a quiet excuse and left the hall.

As the door closed behind him, drowning out the angry mews, the avatar felt an ounce of relief.

“Sorry about them,” the cat said. “They’re always like that. Even worse, behind closed doors.”

“She only gets to say that because she’s the archmage’s granddaughter,” Sandrian said with a slight smile. His voice was just as deep as the dungeon pictured it to be. “But she’s not wrong. They’re almost unrecognizable when they’re trying to impress someone.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” the avatar muttered.

“We’re really, really thankful to you, sir,” the other girl joined in. Theo remained uncertain whether she was Yva or Ellis. “Thanks to your sponsorship, we got a second study wing.”

The white cat on Sandrian’s shoulder flicked her tail a few times. For some reason, she didn’t seem particularly happy with the comment.

Walking down a winding stone staircase, the group descended half a dozen floors before entering a wide-open space. The similarities to a modern office area were uncanny. The vast room was divided into subsections by waist-high stone dividers. The majority were full of scrolls and tomes, with a few reserved for beds—cat and human alike—and a glassed off area that suspiciously resembled a meeting room.

“Watch your feet,” the human girl was quick to say. “Everyone leaves things lying about.”

The avatar looked down. The floor was an unmitigated disaster, covered in equal measure with scrolls, balls of yarn, and unspecified devices of various nature. No wonder that in this world, mages were considered the natural enemy or order.

“Why isn’t anything flying about?” he asked.

“It’s forbidden for apprentices,” the girl explained.

“Something to look forward to, I guess.”

To Theo’s surprise, the area seemed a lot emptier than he expected. All in all, there were barely a dozen cats and a few more humans, all of which were working on something, surrounded by scrolls. Magic symbols were being drawn on a blackboard so large that it would make Switches envious.

“Finals?” the baron turned to his escort.

“Hmm?” All three looked at him, confused.

“I mean, I expected there to be a lot more apprentices,” Theo quickly added.

“This is the star pupil section,” the white cat explained. “Only the best of the best live here. The rest are on the floors below. Closer to the kitchen.”

Sandrian chuckled at the comment.

“It’s not that bad,” the girl said, apologetically. “At least it’s far from the research wing.”

No one noticed as the avatar was led to a relatively clean area of the chamber. Looking at their dedication was almost heartwarming, or it would have been if the dungeon gave a damn. Right now, there were only two things on his mind: how to get in touch with Spok and to get this whole magic challenge over with.

With an elegant motion of his hand, Sandrian summoned a small table, and just enough chairs for everyone to sit. The cat on his shoulder didn’t seem particularly impressed, for she leaped straight onto the marble surface.

The human girl soon followed with a series of spells, each of which brought a large book to the table as well.

“So, let’s get started,” the white cat said.

“Please.” The avatar offered himself a smile. Finally, someone who had a proper attitude.

“What are you familiar with?” She looked up at the baron.

“There’s a tower that appears every ten years,” he said, then paused.

Ideally, this was the point at which any of the apprentice mages were supposed to jump in. Instead, silence reigned, only broken by the continuous sound of summoned books.

“And I was volunteered to participate on the part of the Feline Tower,” the avatar added.

Several more seconds passed in silence.

“And something about tower relations and etiquette and such…” he waved his hand. “Oh, and only humans are allowed to enter.”

Even the summoning of books stopped. The apprentices stared at him, as if they’d seen a spectacularly bad train wreck. The despair on their faces was apparent to the point that Theo himself felt like an imposter that had been found out.

“That’s it?” The cat broke the silence.

“I didn’t exactly come here on my own accord,” the dungeon went on the defensive. “Up till today, I didn’t even know about the tower.”

“But you know about Archmage Gregord, at least?” the human girl said in hope. “Right?”

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Just that he was a powerful mage and part time hero,” Theo didn’t even bother to pretend.

“But you’re supposed to be a famous adventurer with a vast knowledge of the world,” the girl went on. “You’ve faced countless dangers and defeated monsters more powerful than entire kingdoms.”

Apparently, the arch council hadn’t shared their findings regarding Theo’s true nature. That was somewhat good, although it didn’t do much to temper the expectations they had. Technically, everything the girl had said was true. He had faced creatures that, at one point or another, could have destroyed kingdoms. Left unchecked, there was a good chance that they would have taken over the entire world. Yet, he had to admit that his victories were a combination of luck, fast thinking, and good support… mostly luck. He wasn’t some deranged swashbuckling adventurer that set out to face all these challenges, no matter what his skills claimed. All he ever wanted was to be left alone.

“There was barely any magic involved,” the avatar said. “One was a maniacal gnome affected by demonic power and the other was an abomination. Oh, and there were a bunch of necromancers as well, but they didn’t do much.”

The precursors of tears formed in the girl’s eyes, as if she’d had the image of an idol destroyed.

“But…”

“What about Gregord’s key?” the cat interrupted. “How’d you get that?”

“Oh. It was given to me as a gift for saving some town from brigands.”

“Just like that?”

“Yep, just like that.”

The tower quest hadn’t even started and already Theo's feelings on the matter went from bad to worse. As Esmeralda had correctly said, the arch council viewed him as a human who had obtained one of Gregord’s keys, nothing more.

“It’s a series of trials, right?” Theo took the initiative.

“Well, yes…”

“And by completing them, I move from floor to floor?”

“Right.”

“Then what is there to it? All I need is to complete the trials and make it out in one piece.”

It was difficult to imagine that there could be anything quieter than silence, but somehow, he had managed to achieve it. The apprentices remained in a near petrified state, uncertain how to react. Having limited interaction with the real world, they weren’t accustomed to the unpredictable. The dungeon, in contrast, had experienced so much randomness since his rebirth that he thrived on it.

“Listen, Yva,” he turned to the white cat. “You’re Yva, right?”

“I’m Ellis.” The cat flicked its tail in annoyance.

“Ellis, it’s not like either of us has any alternative. Even if I know nothing, the archmage will still send me. And the less I know, the greater the chance that I mess up and make the tower look pathetic, just like ten years ago.”

The tone was a bit forceful, but there was no arguing with the facts. Even if Ellis was barely a kitten back then, she still remembered the shame that the previous challenger’s death had brought. Mages had been grumbling for years, taking it out on their apprentices both in lectures and everyday duties. Even her grandfather had taken it hard, isolating himself in his room for seven full months.

“He’s right,” Sandrian said. “He’ll be sent tomorrow. We all know it. Best thing we could do is help him learn as much as possible.

“By tomorrow?” the cat tilted her head. “I’d say that’s impossible, but who knows? He did save the world twice…” Ellis leapt on her feet, then took a few steps to the nearest stack of books. “Alright, let’s start with the basics. The tower is believed to be composed of nine floors. Each floor contains at least one trial that must be completed before the person could proceed to the next.”

“Clear so far.” The avatar nodded.

“It’s strongly suggested that the trials might require several people to be completed.”

“Interesting.” The baron stroked his chin. “Sounds like one of those cooperatively competitive trials.”

“Competitively cooperative,” Yva corrected. “Competition is the main focus, yet the tasks require cooperation so that the group continues forward. It’s one of the interpersonal behaviors that Archmage Gregord researched during his time as a hero.”

All eyes focused on the girl.

“But of course, you know that,” she looked down, visibly ashamed by the awkwardness she had created.

“Is there a participant limit?” the avatar asked.

“Every tower is allowed to send one participant. Additionally, any mage in the possession of a Gregord key can join in for free.”

“It’s been the practice of the powerful towers to go key searching when the challenge gets near,” Sandrian added.

Of course they would, Theo thought. That was a clear way to game the system. Why send a single person when you could send an entire team?

“All who fail the trial are spat out with no memory of what happened inside,” Ellis continued. “Sometimes they do so with items from inside.”

Theo leaned forward, listening intently.

“And that’s it with the basics,” the cat said in anticlimactic fashion.

“Wait. That’s all?” the avatar asked. “I got all that upstairs!”

“Those are the basics,” Ellis replied and started licking her paw.

“Well, what’s all this, then?” The avatar pointed at the stacks of books.

“Every spell, theory, diary note and recorded instance of Archmage Gregor that the tower’s managed to get its paws on.” The cat looked back at him with her glowing blue eyes. “What did you think it was? As I just told you, all memories about the tower stay in the tower. All information we have is based on what was written in the mage’s will, plus the things that the mage community has reached a consensus on. For example, if a tower sends several participants, only one of them is allowed to cross the first floor’s threshold. It’s also accepted that the keyholders are an exception to that rule.”

Finally, Theo got a glimpse of the actual picture. Back in his previous life, it was said that to know a person, one had to examine his entire life. It was no different here. Everything created, written or experienced by Gregord provided a clue regarding his way of thinking, likes, dislikes, attitude on life and magic, and so on. Seeing how much there was, the Feline Tower must have spent decades collecting the information. Given that it was considered a “new” tower, other mage organizations probably had amassed a lot more. It was physically impossible for Theo to read through all that, let alone remember it!

“Just out of curiosity,” he said, opening the nearest tome. “How much of this have you read?”

“All of it,” Yva said with pride. “Except the restricted tomes. Only full mages are allowed access to such material.”

“Unless you’re the archmage’s granddaughter,” Sandrian said and scratched the cat behind the left ear.

“I just glimpsed at a few, okay?” Ellis protested, but didn’t move away.

“How much of this is part of the restricted tomes?”

The apprentices looked at each other, suggesting that likely none of it was.

Just great, Theo grumbled to himself. They had snatched him here to do the impossible and even then didn’t bother to provide him with the appropriate tools. Sadly, beggars didn’t get to be choosers. As the saying went: if life gives you common tomes, you’ve no choice but to read what you got.

A few minutes in, the dungeon had lost all desire to even try. The tome he’d taken brought boring to a new level. Specifically, the first twenty pages were nothing more than Gregord’s philosophical musing on the tonal frequency of spells. There were no practical applications, no groundbreaking theories, just a long list of metaphors comparing magic to bat calls, moonlight, raindrop ripples, and even less obvious phenomena.

Thankfully, while suffering through the reading material, back in Rosewind, the floating eyeballs had finally caught Spok’s attention. It had only taken one glance from a castle’s window for her to go to the nearest part of the wall belonging to Theo and place her hand on it.

“I assume you have a good explanation for this, sir?” Spok appeared in the dungeon’s main building.

“Yes!” Theo replied on the spot. “I—”

At this point, hesitation caught up to him. Given the events of an hour ago, he had a pretty good idea that she was displeased with his attitude towards her. Appropriate or not, the notion of getting married clearly meant a great deal to the spirit guide. If Theo were to ignore the topic yet again and bombard her with questions regarding his current predicament, things might get complicated. Gone was the time when he could just bark questions and expect answers. Instead, he had to approach the situation with a bit more tact.

“I’ve considered your request,” the dungeon corrected itself. “And I agree.”

Spok’s glasses slid halfway down her nose.

“You… agree, sir?” Although delighted, she couldn’t shake the feeling that Theo had capitulated unusually fast, almost suspiciously so.

“I can’t deny that you have done a splendid job, taking care of the little things,” he said in what was supposed to be a compliment. “You deserve some joy of your own, and a moderately long break.”

“I… I really don’t know what to say, sir. Thank you.” Spok pushed up her glasses. “This really means a lot.”

“Of course. Also, I have some good news and some bad news.”

“Bad news, sir?” The moment of calm and joy quickly vanished, along with the change in the spirit guide’s tone. “What bad news?”

“Let’s start with the good news. Since this is a one-of-a-kind occasion, I’ll be sparing no expense and effort to make your wedding the greatest the town has known!” pieces of furniture lifted into the air, forming what could be described as a clunky smile. “I’ll order Switches to build a few airships to announce the event as well as… well, anything else you’d like him to make.” He paused for a moment. “I’ll also have Cmyk spin enough gold to buy and hire all the best people for the occasion.”

While the promise only served to increase Spok’s suspicions, she was practical enough to view the situation as what it was. It was obvious that the dungeon was going to ask for a favor, but as long as he offered all that, there was no reason to refuse.

“There’s no risk that the city will be destroyed, is there, sir?” She narrowed her eyes.

“What? Of course not! How can you even ask?!” All the pieces of furniture floated back down, as the dungeon pretended to feel insulted.

“In that case, you wouldn’t mind to set the wedding date for two weeks from now? Just in case, sir.”

“It’s perfectly fine.”

“Very well. So, what’s the bad news?”

“Well, it so happens that I’ve been summoned to the Feline Tower,” Theo began. “They were kind enough to offer me two fully charged mana gemstones for a minor favor on my part.”

If Spok had an actual stomach, it would be hurting her right now. That’s how things usually started. The dungeon would ask an innocent question, which would be followed by another, and another, at which point it would turn out that he had rushed straight into a catastrophe he knew nothing about. Using the words “summoned” and “Feline Tower” was already a bad sign. Mages and dungeons weren’t known to be enemies, but they didn’t get along particularly well, either. Both species considered themselves superior and had the occasional bad apple that wanted to take over the world and enslave everyone in sight. The two sides almost instinctively kept far from each other, only occasionally resorting to the occasional business transaction.

“By you, I assume you mean Baron d’Argent?” Spok asked.

“Naturally.” Theo found no need to admit that the cat council knew of his true nature. “Apparently, there’s this tower of some ancient wizard that appears every ten years, and I’m to go inside and complete a series of trials.”

“Trials?” Spok trembled. “In a mage tower?”

“Don’t worry!” he assured her. “It’s a special mage tower! Everything inside is erased from memory, so even if someone uncovers my avatar, they won’t be able to do anything about it because they’ll forget.”

A heroic dungeon avatar in a mage tower… Spok would have considered the sentence the start of a passably good joke if it didn’t describe Theo’s nature to the letter. It took unnatural skill to string together this many impossibilities in a single event. It was a miracle in itself that the deities hadn’t intervened. Although, with Paris establishing her greatest cathedral thanks to Theo, it wouldn’t be surprising for him to get a pass. Then again, it was thanks to the dungeon’s unusual nature that Spok had received so much autonomy, her own avatar, and now her very own grand wedding.

“How may I assist you, sir?”

“For starters, do you know any spells that might speed up reading?”

“You want a spell that would make you read faster?” Spok resisted openly sighing. “That might be difficult, sir. Dungeons don’t normally read. Shouldn’t your swiftness spell be enough for that?”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of me acquiring the information within the books without having to read them.”

“Must the source of this knowledge remain intact?”

Within the Feline Tower, the dungeon’s avatar turned to Allis.

“Are these the only copies?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. Why?” the white cat replied.

“I might have a way of consuming all the knowledge within, but I’ll have to destroy them.”

Across the table, Yva turned three shades paler at the suggestion.

“Sure.” Ellis didn’t seem to particularly care. “Go ahead if that helps.”

“No,” Theo told Spok back in his main body.

“In that case, there’s this…”

KNOWLEDGE CONSUMPTION

Spend 10 energy, devour a book, scroll, or scholar in order to obtain all the information within. All information and knowledge will be converted into a memory, regardless of its accuracy and validity.

“Thank you, Spok!” The baron’s mansion beamed with joy. “You’re a lifesaver! Go ahead and tell the duke the good news and start planning your wedding. I’ll get this done and have my avatar back in a few days!”

Meanwhile, the universe that Theo had plagued with the many exceptions he constantly created abruptly flipped by a hundred and eighty degrees.

The very same evening, a glaring flaw in Theo’s plan became apparent.