Another thing I find myself dealing with all the time- that I personally count as worse than being blackmailed by an ancient Chinese lady who may or may not have more people in her pocket than some countries have population- is lawyers.

Now, to set the record straight. A lawyer is a person, and oftentimes a pretty fine person at that. Good people mostly. But a group of lawyers is not a person or a group of people, it is a thing that is more like a vampire than anything else. It sucks your money, it drains your time, and it takes all your energy- swallowing it all into a seemingly bottomless pity that gives nothing in return but paper written in legalese.

Kate, who thought she had wormed her way into a strong position as an assistant to one of the most powerful people on the planet, was asleep- and it was hard to blame her when Rebecca was nodding off to. For that matter, I don’t know what happened in the last five minutes… I probably fell asleep, god damn this is dry!

On that note, I say Kate ‘thought’ she had manipulated me into giving her the job when it would be more accurate to say that anyone who could manipulate me that well probably deserved the job to begin with. This is what psychologists called rationalizing, and because I know what it is, clearly it can’t be happening to me. Or so I tell myself.

“...in short, we have evidence that certain witnesses were manufactured, but not by the prosecution.” One of Kevin’s lawyers was saying, his haggard appearance giving Kevin some much needed schadenfreude. “Possibly without the witnesses knowledge, for that matter. Though it is inextricably tied to this case, it could almost be its own lawsuit by itself.”

“Another nick from which to bleed me from, huh?” I said, and none of the lawyers had the decency to even look ashamed. “Kate would you… Nevermind, Rebecca if you would be so kind as to wake Kate up.”

Of course, Kate was mortified to be caught in that situation, but I certainly didn’t care. After all, she had not been hired for legal advice, or her legs. In fact, my next sentence would prove that she had not been hired for her legs, really... Even in my own thoughts I somehow imagine skeptical looks when I just think that…

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Considering your expertise in media,” I said knowing that I would have to explain more later considering she had not been awake to actually hear the issue, but not wanting to embaress her more by reiterating it all- and no, it wasn’t because I also had fallen asleep a few times and probably couldn’t explain the whole thing myself- wow my thoughts were cynical and self loathing today… “I would like you to track down the groups responsible for this. Much as I would love to have this case thrown out of court with this, we should take the high ground here and have a public relations field day with it. Rebecca, make sure they are notified, I want the press to get fed the following line, ‘while we regret this abuse of the system, we would like to take the opportunity to show we have nothing to hide.’ Or some bullshit like that, make it pretty. Once Kate has found them you fine folks in legal are going to sue them so hard they drown in paperwork for rest of their lives.” While taking my money, I thought but didn’t say. I made a mental note that legal reform would have to be high up the group's list of priorities. This is ridiculous.

That meeting over, I face an even worse hell- the limo ride to my plane.

Now on the surface, that doesn’t sound like hell. A limo ride with two beautiful ladies to a private plane with all the amenities you could ever think of and a fair few you hadn’t but can’t live without once you discover? Opposite of hell for most people, but there is an issue for me.

Those two women might be gorgeous, but despite how it looks, I do not hire people based on looks. Apparently, I can be swayed by them- though in my defense I never imagined they would work together, that is just unfair- but not enough that I would ever employ someone incompetent.

Also, although this seems slightly off topic, it is worth noting that the most successful people in the business world often have sociopathic tendencies. Not that they are all sociopaths, but a few of those traits often help people go much further.

When you combine those two things, and add what I guess is mischievous delight knowing that you are messing with someone who could by some countries and have enough money left over to renovate the whole damn thing afterwards and well…

You have my two secretaries, who have far too much fun driving me crazy, are far too smart to ever go too far, and are far too capable for me to fire if they did! I swear, some days they seem more in charge of my company than I do…

But now I have a weapon, I will turn the tables on these two!

“So I was thinking about having all legal documents go through you two,” I said with an evil smile. “I really could stand to be better informed about what is going on in that part of the company.”

Ha! Now those looks of pure horror are true beauty!