You know, I once was a pretty normal guy. You wouldn’t think that now perhaps as an entire industry turns on my words, but once, I was just a kid, running around and playing like any other. But even then, I knew something was wrong.
I once sat watching the coverage of an election and my dear mother had asked who I wanted to win. I told her that I did not care, because anyone who could reach that far, who could make it to that stage, must be able to do a good job.
Kids say the damndest things, don’t they?
Well, I shouldn’t be to hard on a five year old, how the hell would I have known better then? But I certainly do now, human government is like a giant shrimp, an oxymoron. Looking at an election now, I would tell you the scotch in my hand is medicinal, and who would blame me? After watching politicians destroy everything from the economy to the environment, I need a drink. We all need a drink.
And in 2028, I, Kevin Sterling, have had enough. I ignored the government and pursued my own dreams, through diligence and research I invested wisely and made more money than most people can even imagine, used it to buy out a couple of tech and advertising companies and now can shit in a gold toilet and wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills if I wanted to.
But I don’t, because I am not an ass myself.
Instead, today I have a very important meeting, conducted by video messaging of course, with some very important people. As their faces join the room on the incredibly expensive, top of the line projector I bought for no better reason than I had to spend my money somewhere, I smiled and put out my cigar and set down my scotch.
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I have had enough, and so has every man and woman on the screens here. Tech giants like myself, oil oligarchs, entertainment moguls, even the head of the conglomerate that owned most of the funeral business. If you name it, we have our fingers in it, and if you name us, you name the Illuminati.
However, we are not as powerful as the tin foil hats would have you believe, though I can’t say that isn’t the goal, and we certainly are not evil. We are simply pissed off and tired. Tired of seeing politicians and pundits who don’t know anything about the subject they are speaking of continually mess up and ruin things.
Not that we are good people, I plan to take every dollar from every pocket I can. But those pockets need dollars for me to take, people need to prosper so that I can prosper, and that is why we are here today.
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.” I say smiling broadly, “None of us particularly care for pleasantries I believe, so perhaps we should get down to business.”
One of the women, an older but still beautiful Chinese lady spoke and the computer translated it for me to understand.
“I realise the idea of Americans being rude and only caring about money is a stereotype,” The translation software was really top notch, it was even able to put subtleties like her wry tone across. “But you do a very poor job of dispelling that.”
“Well, I have to admit it is often true. Certainly in my case.” My time was valuable, some magazine had done the math and claimed I made more money in the shower every morning than the average human on the planet made in a month. I had only wondered who had to do the research to get an estimate for how long I spent in the shower, maybe they called a past fling of mine? Still, the point was accurate enough, and as a result, I felt I should try not to waste my time. It may be old fashioned thinking, but a part of me did not think it was fair to the hourly staff at the bottom of the ladder that I should not use that time to its fullest.
“Still, there really is not a huge point to small talk right?” This from the CEO of a Brazilian biotech conglomerate, “We are all busy people, so let’s get to the point.”
“Also a fair point,” one I agreed with too. “Well then, let's discuss the birth of the New World Order. It certainly is not like we could do worse at this point.”