Every man reaches the point in his life where he says in the back of his mind, “I’ve had enough of this bullshit.”

It had taken me more than a few months of constantly counting to ten, biting my tongue, turning my cheek, and walking away to find myself at the point I found myself in. It would not take much to get me to the boiling point. I am a patient man, but patience had its limits, and I was reaching it.

I loved my wife Lauren dearly. From the moment we met, we were a couple. We had accidentally run into each other at the Sikeston fall fair. She and her girlfriend had come into the stage show area late. As they slid their way past me, she had stepped on someone’s cold drink.

The next thing you know I had a mass of soft, sweet-smelling flesh sitting in my lap. My automatic response was to help stabilize her by grabbing her by the hips. By the end of the stage show, we were flirting with each other.

Lauren was three years older than I was. I was still in school working at becoming a veterinarian. With a five-foot-eight frame, long black hair, blue sparkling eyes, and a set of soft inviting lips begging to be kissed it did not take exceptionally long until I was drawn in by her charms. Right from the start, I felt she was hot.

I was five foot eleven and had a slender frame. When she wore heels, we were almost the same height. She fell in love with my small goatee and mustache. She said it made me look distinguished. One month after I graduated, we were married. It was a small wedding which took place in the backyard of her parent's place in ST. Louis.

What surprised me was that we seemed to share the same views about life in general. Her father a family doctor, I found was a man that was down to earth with a common sense of things. Laureen did not like politics and that thrilled me to death because I did not either because my view is that, in general, politics had nothing to do with the truth.

She was religious, as was her whole family, but it did not seem to fill her world and consume her. Things started to change about eight months into our marriage. I learned later that it all started when the saintly Father Eric Brown took over St. Mary ‘s. Now things were reaching the breaking point something needed to change.

If things kept going the way, they were going it would be any day now that I would explode. I could no longer hold in the crap I was putting up with much more. After all, there is only so much that any man can be expected to take. I was reaching my limit. Things were going to have to be set straight or else there was going to be bloodshed when I beat that son of bitch into pulp.

This newfound attuite that the Lauren had developed over the last few years was sticking in my crawl and it would not let go. It was reaching the point that everything we had ever planned or wanted as a couple was being canceled out.

I did not understand at that time, that what I was experiencing was exactly what a certain group of the population was trying to do on a national basis to those who did not support their point of view. You see, I had long ago had quit watching the national or cable news because it was full of too many things that were proved in the long run not to be true. As a result, I did not want the added drama and false concerns taking control of my life. What they were creating brought to the fore their agenda of creating anger and hate.

I had a little problem in real life caused by a man I thought was a horse’s ass. You know the type of person I am writing about. A man whose self-importance caused him to need to be the center of attention. He believed he was better than everybody else. His greatest asset was that he saw himself as an elitist and it was reflected in everything he did.

My better half and I did not have any personal problems until she was hired by him two years after we got married. Now we had a problem that had started the day she got hired. Her employer, James McCormick was an elected official who could and would not get his head out of his ass. He came across as believing his shit did not stink. I thought it was because he had long lost his ability to smell.

Over time, working under that piece of shit, Laureen started to develop some of the same attitudes, thoughts, and views of her boss who she thought was the most important thing in our community outside of the ten different churches that claimed to be the true followers of Jesus Christ. It did not hurt that the idiot had the full support of Father Eric Brown and the Catholic church.

The Lauren I married years ago had not seen herself better than anyone else. Yet over time, she started to behave a lot as he did. Her new elitist point of view had insulted a lot of our family and friends. At times, I even felt like I was being treated as a second class citizen in our home.

Lauren had been working for the pompous self-serving bigot for about six years while the idiot built his career and political image. In my eyes, he was a flake who, I thought, had long ago given up the right to call himself a man. He was not a man, a man’s man, or a transgender, I like to refer to him as a ‘shit.’

The most successful thing he had done in his life was that he married into money and had gotten himself elected to a job nobody wanted. Everybody who knows him understood he was just a figurehead, and his wife was the one with the power and control.

Yet in the ten years, his wife Maureen and he had been married, they had managed to bring three babies into the world. In contrast, my wife and I were still trying to conceive our first. That surprised me a lot because I did not think James had it in him. I had been proved wrong and I admitted it. After all, even a blind squirrel can find a nut occasionally.

If you wanted something done in our town you talked directly to James' wife Maureen. She and her husband were as different as day and night. She had what we called common sense. When you finally approached her, you were shocked by how fast the mountain moved. Her henpecked husband, we learned fast always did as he was told. It was soon an inside joke: we all knew who wore the pants in their house.

********

If you have not figured it out by now, I guess its best I tell you. My wife god bless her soul, is a devoted, baptized Catholic, a follower of a corrupt faith who is employed as the personal assistant to a man who, I believed, had no background of ever having any moral fibers.

If we lived in California, he would fit right in because he had all the flash and sparkles that people out there seem to go for. His favorite colored suit was a soft pastel pink. Need I say more? It has also been my belief that in California the last thing that matters is the truth because they never seemed to resolve or fix things.

In my eyes, Californians are well on their way of proving how well socialism could work in the good ole USA. It was becoming clear, by their conduct they wanted the rest of the country to pay for it, because the governor always had his hands out to the feds for something.

You’ve got to love California for the routine brownouts caused by not having enough electricity because of people using their air conditioners, especially as the state was going green to the extreme. How about the endless forest fires in the summer because they refused to manage their forests properly?

Yet, in today's society, they were changing the rules on how pedophiles would be treated by the courts. The new law would force the judges to consider if consent had been given by the child. As if a child had the same power and influence as an adult. I could just see some pervert getting off because he told the right progressive judge ‘You should have seen those baby blue eyes smiling at you.’

Sadly, the governor in California blamed the forest fires, for the most part on the electrical transfer lines whose owners could not trim the trees near them back because of state law. Then the governor had sued them to recover the costs. If I were the owner of the electrical suppliers, it would be resolved fast. With a flick of a few switches, I would have cut the power off until the ‘we can’t interfere with nature bullshit’ was resolved.

But you had to have a real pair of balls to do that, and that type of person was not wanted in California the place where queers, lesbians, pedophiles, and gays were looked upon favorably while heterosexual males and females were becoming the least of social importance.

It was a state that was becoming the state for certain types of people to go to, because of the new protections given the worst in society. It was becoming clear the way California was going it would soon be an open meat market for the selling of underage children.

The problem for my wife’s boss, if he moved there, is that he would no longer be so unique or special. James’s weirdness out there would be considered quite normal.

After all, most of the countries idiots seemed to flourish on the east and west coast. On the west coast, stupidity was considered as being unique. Half of them walked around as if they had something shoved up their ass and maybe they did. After all, in California common sense was out of date because it held none of the bells and whistles of being with it. It did not just apply to those in the movie business as it affected all walks of life.

My wife’s boss would fit right in because he had never made an honest day’s wages doing anything. I had even spread the rumor that he and his wife were thinking of moving to a more moderate climate but that did not work. We, in small-town America, were still stuck with the jerk. No matter what I had tried he could not see that California was the place to be.

Since his election as mayor in our town, he had done nothing but make himself seem important to the general population by having some new idea or concept on how to improve the quality of life in our little community of about eight thousand.

When he produces these new ideas, you are guaranteed it is going to cost a lot of money and a new tax will have to be created to pay for it. More than once he had been shot down by the voters who had a more common sense about the way things worked then he ever did. Yet, I suppose, I have to give him kudos for trying.

Every two years he was re-elected because no one wanted to run against him. Most of us in our small town were sick of politicians that did nothing but cost the taxpayers more money. Yet my wife Lauren was his greatest supporter.

Lauren still believes in going to the cubical once a week to confess your sins through a blackened screen to the man in black who is, supposedly, Jesus Christ’s living representative here on earth. She still believes that this man in black has the authority of God, to forgive you of your sins. Once he gave you what was needed to make penance and you followed through it, you were forgiven.

He taught that your sins were automatically forgiven when you went to confession and had done your penance. To most Catholics, it meant that you were free to go out and commit the same ones next week all over again with no guilt or remorse.

I believed that, For Catholics, their faith gave them the ability to lie to your face with a clear conscience because they knew it would be forgiven. Their faith made truth and honestly worthless. As a result, there were very few Catholics I trusted.

A faith like that makes it clear there is no accountability for its own or anybody’s else conduct. If it were not for the public outcry, they still would be in denial that some of these holy anointed fathers were nothing but pedophiles. Did that mean that since they are ordained as Jesus' physical representative here on earth that Jesus was one too?

If you think about it, the religious leaders of the Catholic Church have been teaching the masses for years that its acceptable to do anything, at any time, because everything will be forgiven provided you believe that the holy roller Jesus Christ died for your sins. Have you ever noticed how many elected officials in the various elected governments claim to be devoted Catholics and when confronted with their bad conduct use it to justify themselves?

I guess that explains why so many who were in the mob were the church's biggest supporters. Must be nice to be able to blow a man’s brains out or rape a woman and have no guilt or remorse because all things are forgivable by the holy father when you’re in the cubicle. Even when you say you believe in that cubicle though, really, you did not.

All it took was admitting your guilt in private without revealing your name. After all, God knows everything. It was safe to believe that the believers in the Catholic faith figured the father did too.

Yet even a moron as simple-minded as me knew that the bible says the wages of sins is death. My thoughts were if our sins were forgiven by God’s representatives here on earth why did we still die in the end.

Father Eric Brown couldn’t explain that point to me and when he tried to, I countered with the fact that if Lazarus had died and Jesus did indeed resurrect him, he should be alive and be living here on earth today without sin because the wages needed to be paid for sin was death.

Father Brown thought I was the most intelligent idiot he had ever talked to. He saw my logic towards things made it impossible for me to develop any type of faith because I saw the teaching of the Bible in a way that he would never understand.

From that point on Father Eric Brown left me alone. The saintly father passionately believed that I was a good man who was going to burn in everlasting damnation because I would not confess my sins to any man.

I guess, to him, the scripture in Ecclesiastes that says ‘the dead are conscious of nothing’ meant nothing because, according to the teachings of the Catholic church, that scripture had to be a lie.

Every time he saw me, he would shake his head, bow his head, and refuse to even look at me. I guess, in the saintly Father’s eyes, the judgment of God and Jesus Christ upon me had already been given.

It had always been my thought that if you read something out of that holy book called the Bible and it questioned what was being taught by the religious leaders. then their teaching had to be wrong, or the Bible was full of lies. I went with the Bible because God said, “it was impossible for him to lie.”

The problem was that my wife, my wife’s boss, and his wife all attended Saint Mary’s church and were members in good standing. All three had a good strong relationship with the saint of a man named Father Eric Brown. After all, they were all members of the church’s board. They spent so much time together that, if you did not know their relationship, you might have thought they were related.

The rumors around our town implied the saintly Father was having an ongoing affair with a married woman who was an active member of his flock. Every few weeks someone produced a different suspect, but nothing was proven. I had refused to attend from day one because I hated dealing with those who I saw as nothing but hypocrites.

Not going to church like all the country rubes and hicks got me the reputation of being a horse's ass when it came to anything to do with religion. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses went running when the saw it was me answering the door. I loved it because it saved me a lot of unnecessary conversation.

Even with my limited knowledge about God and his son, I knew that the kind of instructing the Father was preaching just did not make sense. If I had used their understanding to explain my actions to my parents for something I did when growing up I would have gotten my butt whipped for weeks.

My dad loved putting the fear of God into every one of his six children. It did not take us all much time to learn that regardless of what people believed or said, there were always consequences for conduct that did not meet up to his view of community standards.

Right was right, wrong was wrong, and there was no gray area in between. It was just bull shit that people spread to try to explain something they got caught doing when they should not have done it in the first place.

There was no such thing as showing disrespect or being sassy. Doing such meant you ended up with a burning red tush for a few days that would remind you when you sat down what you did. You may think it was harsh, but we learned quickly where we stood and how to act when out in the community.

By the time we all graduated my dad had raised his six children to be achievers in the careers, they had chosen. None of us had gotten in trouble, none of us did drugs, and most of us did not drink. He often said we all had turned out better than most of those Bible thumping parents kids did.

With this bit of information having been revealed, I can get onto the meat of the story of how became the mayor of Marble Hill Missouri. Folks who still live in our little town still feel it was the best thing the voters ever accomplished because the taxes have not gone up in the ten years since I got elected. As a result, I am referred to being the most honest, reluctant politician the town has ever seen. The added plus was that I was not catholic.

After all, to appreciate it you must understand that to most in our small community I was just a backward rube of a country hick who was lucky enough to have gotten educated.

********

I came home that Monday from my veterinary clinic after having had to do an emergency major surgery on a big ‘ole bulldog that had been hit by a car. I ended up having to insert metal pins in both of her back hips. Thankfully, the pet owner was extremely happy when I told him that his baby was going to have a full recovery despite his stupidity.

Yes, he had hit her while pulling out of his driveway. As a result, it cost him almost twelve hundred dollars for me to put her back together. Until she fully recovered, he was going to have to have to help to do the things, she would normally do herself.

After doing a major surgery like that it was my normal routine to come home at the end of the day to throw my overalls in the laundry basket and have a quick shower to get anything off of my body that the clothing had not caught.

As I was drying myself, I notice in the small garbage container two items that looked like those pens they give out as professional promotional giveaways by the drug companies. After hanging up the towel I leaned over and took a closer look.

They were both home pregnancy tests but made by different manufacturers. The problem was both were showing a positive result.

I was surprised, but quite pleased and hoped that the tests were not false positives because I was under the belief that we were both wanting children. So, I pretended I did not know and went on with life waiting for my loving wife Lauren to tell me.

I waited for two weeks but nothing was said to me about her condition. Every man who has been in this situation knows with time passing that something does not add up. He automatically begins to get suspicious.

While she was showering that following Friday morning preparing to go to work, I got the chance to go through the calendar on her cell phone. There had been no scheduled doctor’s appointment nor was there one scheduled in the future. If we had of indeed succeeded in finally creating a bundle of joy, I thought she would have gone to get it verified.

The more I found out the more the questions started playing games with myself in my head. I watched and talked with Lauren as we got ready for the day. Once she was done with the shower, I headed in. Once I had gotten dressed and had gone downstairs the Ego waffles were ready.

As usual, we discussed what would be going on during our day. Nothing she brought to my attention was out of normal. Yet I knew, because of the lack of her forthcoming, that she deliberately hiding something.

********

Around eleven that morning Gwen Persil showed up at the clinic with her little princess. A female white Persian cat that was getting overweight because of a lack of discipline of its owner. If it was not clipped in the bud, she was going to be forced into an expensive daily physical fitness routine down the road.

No pet owner likes to be told that they must cut down giving their precious pet those calorie building treats their pets do not need. Those products are all designed in a way that you grab eight to ten at a time when only four is recommended as a serving.

In desperation, I said to her, “Gwen what would you do if your husband George suggested you lose weight?”

“After knocking his block off, I would realize that he was just showing his natural concern about my health and I would change our eating habits to get us all, as a family back in shape,” Gwen replied. “You know that my George has never learned how to use tack. That’s why I always handle the OTC items at the store.”

“Use that same logic,” I said, “with Shadow if you want to keep your cat around for years.”

I guess she got the message because she said, “Bob Carson, you’re a really good vet but your bedside manner needs improving. Do me a favor and remind Lauren that her thirty-day supply of levonorgestrel that was on backorder has come in.”

I guess my face showed what I was feeling because Gwen said, “Oh God you had no clue she was taking the morning after pill did you?”

I just affirmatively nodded my head because I was just too emotional to speak. Based on what I had just learned my whole world had been turned upside down. If she was taking the morning after pill, then what did the two positives mean. Were they her tests or someone else’s? If she was taking the morning after pill, why was she checking?

Gwen and George, our small town pharmacists, and we spent at least one evening a month playing cards with each other. During that time, it was a way of having a few drinks as we built our friendship and relationship with each other as couples.

There were few secrets between the four of us, but this was a whopper.

“Gwen how long has that item been on backorder?” I asked.

“About three weeks, because she has a standing order and the staff forgot to order it while we were on a vacation,” Gwen explained.

I thanked her for letting me know, before leading her out of the viewing room to the lobby. Now things were starting to make sense and I did not like what it was pointing to. Why didn’t Lauren want kids? More importantly, why couldn’t she be honest with me?

Thankfully, it was a lightly-booked day, and I was able to get away early. I called my dad and told him I needed to have a man to man private chat with him and asked him when he was free.

“If you were not working now would be a good time,” Dad said. “Your mom has gone out for the weekly grocery shopping and that means she won’t be back for at least three hours.”

“I’m on the way,” I said. “I’ll just have the rest of the appointments rescheduled by the staff.”

My dad knew that by my saying that what I needed to talk to about was something serious. He knew I would never walk away from work deliberately unless it was something so serious that required my undivided attention.

As soon as I pulled up to my dad’s farm, he had the front door open holding a beer for me. Of all his six children, I was the only one that had stayed near home. The rest were spread around the country.

Over the beer, I slowly told him what I had learned about Lauren’s conduct over the last few weeks.

“What’s considered a month supply,” Dad asked?

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Why is that important.

“Because if that’s a thirty-day supply, can you honestly tell me you're making love every day,” he asked? “Or is it like most couples who have been married for a few years down to about an average of once or twice a week?”

I was stunned. I did not know how to reply because that thought had never entered my mind. I must have been in shock because my dad had a worried look come over his face. I made a quick call to George who verified that my dad’s thinking was right.

“Your thinking is right dad,” I said. “Lauren is buying thirty pills at a time.”

“Son of a bitch, it looks like Lauren has been getting a lot on the side without your blessing,” Dad said, being as polite as he could. “Back in my grandfather’s day the husband when he found out would have taken the slut for a deep walk deep into the woods and returned without her. Do you think she could be the one that’s been doing the saintly Father Eric Brown?”

“Not going there until I find out what's going on for sure,” I said. “Right now, I need your help to figure out the best way to handle it discreetly.”

“You know son the simplest way to find out something is to use what most of society, even here, don’t pay attention to,” Dad said.

For some reason I could not figure out what his words were applying to so I said, “Okay Dad what would use,”

“A bunch of red neck rubes, like me who prefer to stay on their homesteads, instead of getting involved in this modern society,” Dad said. “With us keeping a low profile it allows us to move around and not be noticed even though most know what we are. A bunch of red-necked, back-wood boys who mind their own business. It helps us to be able to disappear back into the trees when making what we need to refill our stashes. If you want our help, I think I can put a team together, but you will have to agree to step up and pay the price we will demand if we are successful.”

That was my first mistake. I should have not said, “Let's do it. Lauren has had plenty of time to step forward and tell me the truth.”

********

Bubba Bridges’ grandfather had been the one that had donated the land that St. Mary’s was built on. For most of his life, he said he regretted having been bitten with that religious bug. In his later years, he would drive past it and curse aloud because of his stupidity.

No one knew why he had turned against the church, but he had. When you asked him about it all he would say is “no comment.” Only once had I heard him tell my dad, that there was more evil going on within that church’s walls then all our local society.

Bubba was the first that my dad got to come into the arrangement. I was surprised because he owned the local weekly newspaper. Looking back, I must admit it had been a stroke of pure brilliance on his part. None of us could see the role he would end up playing.

Bubba was a man who filled out his frame. He was just a big man who carried his three hundred and fifty plus pounds quite well. Yet he did not look fat. He was wide, thick, and wherever he went people knew automatically, by looking at him, to give the man a lot of room.

If you did not know him, you would never have guessed that he was a gentle soul who would cry when his wife forced him to watch a Hallmark romance movie because his sentimental side came out. Bubba doted on his wife, Becky, and she felt the same way about him. In my eyes, they were what Lauren and I used to be like until the mayor came into our lives.

Since Bubba had a good working relationship with the local chief of Police the whole force was brought in. That brought the team to five professional people. Those doing the work behind the scenes would never be seen publicly.

It was an added plus that the chief of police hated having to work out of the same building as my wife, and especially, our town's “beloved” mayor. Their relationship was strictly a working one because we all knew he hated the self-serving idiot.

I was sitting in the staff lunchroom the following Wednesday when the four-page local rag came out which was always half-filled with advertisements.

Jed was a good old boy who walked and talked slowly. He was another old-timer that, in looking for something to do, had become the delivery driver who delivered the newspaper bundles to the delivery boys and personally dropped off a copy to all the local businesses. Having known him for years he would always bring it right into the lunchroom instead of leaving it with the receptionist. That way he could help himself to a fresh, free cup of coffee.

“Have you heard the news?” Jed asked with a sound of excitement!

I instantly was interested because for Jed to be this excited about anything it had to be big.

“What news?” I replied. “It must be big. Did you become a great grandfather all over again?”

“Nah I’ve got sixteen of them already. That kind of excitement has worn off years ago,” Jed said in laughter. “It looks like Mr. Fancy Pants is going to have to fight to keep his position as mayor this year.”

“Where did you hear that,” I asked?

“It’s in the paper. Bubba is talking about it in his editorial,” Jed said, “There’s no name mentioned but he says that a local businessman with a stellar reputation that has had enough of what the mayor is doing to our town. Bubba has listed a whole bunch of things the mayor has done that has pissed this businessman off.”

“Any idea who the person is?” I asked. “Have you delivered it to the mayor’s office?”

“Yeah, I did. When I told your missus about it her face went Lilly white,” Jed noted. “She grabbed the paper out of my hand and ran into the mayor’s office, closing the door behind her. The way she reacted made it clear that no one in that office was going to be happy.”

I got to admit that statement made my day. Lauren by the sound of it was upset. It was going to be an interesting evening at home tonight just in seeing how she would handle things.

Jed left, so I read the editorial, and man it was good. Bubba was putting in words what most of us thought. I went on with my day checking up and taking care of the client's pet’s needs.

It was about four-thirty in the afternoon when I got called out to Josh Palmer's place because a cow was having problems delivering. I went over with the full knowledge of where my hand and arm would soon be going.

It took me about three hours to get the two calves out of the mother, and by the time we were done she was exhausted. Both calves had survived the breech birth and so did their mother. The Palmers were tickled pink. Josh’s wife allowed me to clean up in their mudroom and gave me a freshly baked apple pie to take home.

I pulled into our driveway and noticed right away that Lauren was still not at home. I found that interesting because if she were going to be late, she would call. Before getting out of the car I gave her a quick phone call to see what was going on only to learn that she was at St Mary’s church because there was an emergency meeting of the church board.

Once I got in and had cleaned up, I gave my dad a call.

“Hey, dad did you know there’s an emergency meeting going on at ST, Mary’s?” I asked.

“Sure do, it’s being going on since two o’clock,” he replied. “Lauren, Mr. and Mrs. James McCormick, and Father Brown who make up the board are all in attendance. They left the mayor’s office within fifteen minutes of receiving a copy of today’s paper. What’s interesting is that once the meeting was started the church secretary was sent home.”

“I wonder what it’s all about?” I said aloud.

“Don’t know but it looks like the story Bubba planted has got a hornet's hive buzzing,” Dad said with a laugh. “Just wait until next week’s paper comes out. Our mayor, Mr. McCormick is going to be fuming.”

“What’s coming out next week,” I asked?

“Just a bit of gossip that will show up in the classified section as a paid ad,” Dad said. “If the group's feelings are right, and by the way, things are starting to unwind, it looks like they might, it’s going to be an exciting week.”

Lauren finally showed up at home around eleven p.m. She looked tired, worried, upset, and emotionally drained.

After I made her a gin and tonic and I handed it to her, I said. “You look exhausted. Care to elaborate?”

“I wish I could,” Lauren responded with a bit uncertainty. “But you know I can’t discuss confidential church business with you.”

“Do you think whatever the problem that it’s going to be resolved quickly?” I asked. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

“The problem with the church is going to be going on for a while because so much is not known,” Lauren explained. “So, no decisions can be made. As for eating two grilled cheese sandwiches would be perfect.”

I left my wife alone and went into the kitchen to prepare her sandwiches. I could not help thinking that whatever was discussed had to have serious consequences if the facts came out. It was the fact that she did not say it was a monetary problem that caught my attention. Did it involve the Catholic school and some of their students? After all, that’s where the mayor's children attended. That meant that whatever was being discussed was personal in nature and that the four of them were involved in some way.

I had to wonder what it was that the church board was afraid of? Was it tied into something that was going on inside the mayor's office? Things were starting to get interesting. One thing that had been proven by the four of them was that something was going on that they all felt needed protecting from our community.

It was leaving a lot of questions I had unanswered. To get them, I knew I would have to play a waiting game. It gave me time to look at the various businesspeople in our town and what I knew about them. After doing all of that, I still could not figure out who I thought would be stupid enough to run for Mayor of our village.

********

The only thing I remember about that weekend was that my wife Lauren seemed preoccupied and out of sorts. It was not until Monday morning that I saw Lauren starting to become herself. I knew that there was trouble brewing in paradise because she was not looking forward to going into work with her usual enthusiasm that morning. For her, that was not normal.

I had wondered if quilt about something was pricking at her because she had a keen sense of what was right or wrong. I did not let her problems slip from being in the front of her mind, because I wanted to keep whatever pressure the editor’s editorial created on.

As we were cleaning up after breakfast that morning, I said, “I am looking forward to learning who is challenging your boss because I will be supporting him. It’s time we got back as a village looking after the needs of its citizens.”

The look I got from Lauren was one that could kill because she had not expected that from me. She truly was not a happy person. I saw that what I had said was the last thing she wanted to have heard.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“Maybe they will once again start patching the streets so that the grass and weeds won’t grow in the cracks,” I said. “I’m surprised the village hasn’t been sued because of poor road conditions.”

Lauren tried to defend Mr. McCormick, the mayor, and her boss by saying, “It’s not as bad as it seems, the main roads are well maintained.”

“That’s because we both know the main drag is owned and maintained by the state because its where two state highways interconnect,” I said. “And with it being an election year they have been repaved. With your boss's progressive views, we all know that he does not consider it’s his job to see that things are maintained.”

“That’s not true,” Lauren shouted out.

“Yes, it is,” I countered back. “On my drive to work, I drive over the grass he has allowed to grow in the roads. It is so bad that it is has become a joke. Bubba’s running around town with his camera trying to catch a picture of someone using a Weed Wacker trimming it.”

Lauren grabbed her coat and headed out the door. She was in such a very foul mood that she did not kiss me goodbye. I knew I had might of exaggerated it a bit, but I knew that she knew that I was right, and it maddened her because she had no defense.

A few minutes later I saw her stopped on the side of the road with a flat tire. It seems she had driven into a deep pothole that had cut the tire because she was not paying attention to what she was doing. Her mind, because of what I had said, had been preoccupied elsewhere.

She waved me down and asked me to help her. I replied, “Either change the tire or call the mayor’s office because of its a lack of attention to the village’s needs that caused this.”

I drove off and left her there to think about it, knowing that after our morning conversation she had gotten a firsthand of experience of it. I knew that if looks could kill I would have been dead.

Okay, I admit it: I was acting like an ass, but man was I enjoying it. She texted: “You are making a mountain out of a molehill. It only proves you are the one going after James's job. I responded sarcastically, “with the way you have been behaving maybe I should.”

I figured I would not hear again about it until I got home. Boy was I wrong. It was around ten in the morning when the county’s health inspector and the fire marshal came in. They both had received a complaint from the mayor’s office about my place.

The reason they were called was that the location of my veterinarian clinic was on the outskirts of the village and the mayor had no control or authority over how I conducted my business.

It took them about two hours to review everything and provided me with documentation that I was passing beyond all expectations concerning both.

“Bob what did you do to cause the mayor to decide to try to sabotage your stellar record? “ Abe Stewardson asked.

“You got me,” I said. “The only thing I can think of is that my wife cut a tire on a pothole while on the way to work. She stopped me and asked me to change it. I told her to call the mayor’s office because the flat was caused by them.”

Both the gentlemen laughed. “I think we all can put two and two together. The mayor has decided that you’re the businessman that’s considering running against him, “ Abe said as he added a couple of notes on the back of his report.

Charles Rittenhouse pulled out his cell phone and called Mr. McCormick and said, “Look, James. Just because you think you got a spy working in the village office don’t you dare try this again. If you do the county will send you a bill for wasting our time.”

“Thanks a lot, asshole,” I said as soon as he ended the call. “You will have that idiot firmly believing I am the one thinking of running against him.”

“Better you than us,” Charles said. “Besides with your wife working under him, it automatically gives the thought credibility.”

“With my luck,” I said.,“ and thanks to you, I most likely will learn when I get home that my wife is at another emergency meeting of the Catholic church’s board.”

Let’s just say the words out of my mouth were proved right. As soon as Lauren finally got home the argument was on.

“You can’t go after James's job,” Lauren said as soon as she walked through the door.

I thought it was humorous because she never asked me if I was. That meant there were four like- thinking idiots believing something that was not.

“I never said I was,” I replied. “What makes you think that I am? If I were would it be a danger to his plan of going after a state seat in the next election in four years?”

Lauren's face went white. She could not answer why I felt that way and I knew that, so I decided to throw another twist at her that I was starting to believe even though I did not know for sure.

“Are you afraid that if I was it would bring an end to your relationship with your lover,” I said. “Because you two could no longer use the mayor’s office as cover for those extended lunch hour romps?”

The look on Lauren's face was priceless. Not even a deer caught in the bright lights of high beams at night could look that stunned. The question I had to ask myself, was at that moment, was she stunned because I had spoken the truth or because I accused her of it.

“While you are standing there gather your thoughts as you try to come to terms with what I just said,” I said with a coldness in my voice, “start thinking of how you’re going to explain your standing order for the morning after pill and the positive pregnancy tests that I found in the upstairs bathroom trash to me.”

Lauren broke out crying and ran towards our master bedroom. I knew she would have to get her emotions in check before she could face me. I did not give a shit. I had reached the point where I was no longer going to hold it in. Until I found out what the truth was, I was going to keep the pressure on.

No need to tell you that I ended sleeping in the guest bedroom. Tuesday morning as we prepared for the day, I was met with a wall of coldness. Thanks to the fact that I had no appointments scheduled for early Tuesday morning I was able to move my items like clothing into it before I left for work. Until I got the answers, I was looking for things to get worse between the wife and I before they got better.

By the end of the day my father had received fourteen phone calls from a bunch of the good ‘ole boys, he called friends. It seems that the saintly Father Eric Brown was doing a lot of running around outside of the parish office and had left the assistant principal in charge of the school.

It seems the father was either doing a lot of one on one counseling or trying to make sure the slowly rising smoke did not become a raging fire. Everyone described the father as wearing a face that was full of concern. He had been out to the McCormick place to have a talk with Maureen, her estranged father’s place, and at the mayor's office spending a lot of time at each stop.

My father and I both agreed that regardless of what was going on, we had put cracks into the foundation of it. Then, on Wednesday, the classified ads in the local rag dropped a bomb.

********

Jed walked in that Wednesday afternoon with a spry to his step. The silly grin he had on his face was contagious. I was just heading into the lunchroom for a coffee break and asked Jed to join me.

“Bob there hasn’t this much excitement in our town for years,” Jed said. “I overheard Lauren telling James you had moved your clothing out of the master bedroom because of the questions you asked her.”

“I asked them because James and she have accused me of being the one that’s planning to run against him,” I said.

“Wow,” Jed said. “Doesn’t Lauren understand that you see the Catholic church and politicians in the same way?”

“Both constipated and so full of their shit that their unable to see the hypocrisy between what they say and what they do,” I said in seriousness. “Both promoting their versions of lies as truths.”

“Why do you feel that way,” Jed asked? “You have never really explained.”

“Look at our mayor,” I said. “He is so empowered by the power and control he thinks he has that he has lost sight of what needs to be done. It’s consumed him and controls everything he says and does?”

“Consider, Jed, this thought for a moment,” I said. “The Roman Catholic church had its foundation in the birth of Christianity. They believe that their organization and the religious views they hold make them the elite of our society. The Pope gets voted in because of his so-called god-like qualities by men who sin.”

“Yet Pope Constantine, in the third century, took over the church establishing the doctrines and structure they still have today. Constantine, at that time was not even a Christian. He was most of his life a pagan king. The Catholic church became a political-religious group because of the power it gave Constantine the king in controlling his citizens,” I explained. “He combined Christianity, the pagan religious structure, and the politics of the time to create what we now know as the Roman Catholic church. Since then, it has not been an honest religion.”

“It’s the unintended consequences that we, the general public, end up being rewarded with because of those with elitist attitudes,” I said. “None of them care about the truth or those they claim to be working for. Never have and never will.”

“Bob everyone knows that we chat,” Jed said. “What should I say when if they ask me if I asked you?”

“Tell the truth,” I said with a big grin. “That I would neither confirm nor deny.”

“Son of a bitch,” Jed said. “You damn well know that’s only going to get more and more people saying it’s you.”

I laughed.

“Jed for too long there have been things dumped into a rabbit’s hole so that they are never seen,” I said. “Even in the gossip we are generating there are hidden truths. Those hiding them will become more panicked when they hear them.”

“Shit you’re playing a fishing game on them, aren’t you?” Jed asked. “Your dad will love it when he hears your using the ole bait and hook.”

“Fear when used the right way is a powerful weapon. There appears to be a group that I am dealing with who fear the truth getting out. Whatever that is,” I replied, “those people driven by those emotions end up panicking. Their conduct ends up revealing what they didn’t want out in the first place.”

With that said, Jed left. I got back to work. It was at the end of the day before I thought of the ad dad said would be placed in the classified section of the paper. It was a hoot. Not for what it said but what it implied, it read.

“A question for the saintly Father Earl Brown. When a marriage is not a marriage, but a business agreement for political benefit with the couple involved having never slept with each other. Are the children conceived in the marriage considered to have been conceived by ‘Immaculate Conception?’ Shouldn’t the diocese in ST. Louis be asked to investigate so that it can be proven via an investigation that this is possibly a miracle that equaled the birth of Christ?”

I do not think I have sat and laughed for so long in my life. It said so much without revealing a thing. Only those with inside knowledge would be freaking out. With all the seeds that were being planted by a bunch of rubes, it would not be long until everything came out.

I went home to find Lauren was waiting for me with a copy of the newspaper in her hand.

“We have to talk about the ad you put in the paper,” Lauren said in pure anger. “There are some in town who don’t think it’s funny at all.”

“Have you cleared it with Maureen’s real husband the saintly Father Eric Brown, and Maureen’s shield, our Mayor James,” I asked not knowing anything for sure. “Also are you prepared to tell me how long James has let you in on the ruse? Oh, if it is true, are you the one that James is supposed to be sleeping with?”

Sometimes pure bullshit hits gold because Lauren’s face went pure white.

“No need to explain,” I said directly to her. “You have never had a poker face. I will give you until the end of the week to move out of the house. I do not understand how the four of you decided that I was the perfect patsy to use to keep your appearances up. Was this all set up before you met me?”

“But I am not sleeping with James,” Lauren said without conviction.

“And I did not put the ad in the paper,” I said knowing that she did not believe me. “You all best find out who you all have hurt before blindly accusing me of it. Payback can be a real bitch if revenge is the motive.”

Her face showed pure fear and concern as I said, “How long ago did the four of you decide that because I was not of the Catholic faith it was not your duty or your concern to tell me the truth?”

With that said I grabbed my keys and went out to the car. I went over to my favorite pizza restaurant to get a pizza and a pitcher of beer. I needed to be alone I had some serious thinking to do.

The fact that I had used their basic faith and belief’s to justify and explain their actions had to hurt. Even Lauren, with the blinders she had built up by working beside James five days a week, had to see that.

One of those customers who knew the family, Connie Retford, saw me drinking more beer than eating the pizza in front of me. She knew I had never drunk much. After she had paid her bill, she came over and sat down across from me.

“Bob, you best slow down. Eat more or allow me to drive you home,” Connie said. “ Is Lauren stuck at another church board meeting?”

I guess she saw the look on my face because she said, “Whatever is going on can I assume it has to do with the ad about Father Brown.”

I quietly nodded my head in the affirmative and said, “Lauren is more than just involved in the coverup.”

“Is it safe to say that Maureen McCormick and Father Eric Brown are two of the people referred to,” Connie asked?

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Connie said after seeing the expressions I wore on my face. “Maureen’s three young daughters are his.”

“Bingo,”

“So, Maureen’s and James’ marriage is just a fraud to protect Father Brown's true relationship from coming out,” Connie said, “That raises the question who is James involved with?”

“Think about it for a second,” I said. “I’m sure you can figure out who else is on the church board. Even though nothing about what that ad implies is confirmed, that’s how it starting to look.”

Connie’s face went white before she turned to the waitress and asked for another beer glass to be brought to the table before saying, “I think you shouldn’t drink alone we can always call for a taxi to take us home.”

For an old-timer, Connie had held her age well. It was nice to have someone sitting with you holding your hand. Once Connie started talking about other things going on around town, I was able to seriously start eating. After the extra-large pizza pie and sharing two pitchers of beer, I was still sober enough to drive home even though I would not have passed a breathalyzer test.

********

Tip-over a can of worms when fishing and, if you do not set it upright, you will discover when you look that half had found their way out. Truth is like that: it can be bottled up, sealed tight, but when the seal gets broken it flows out in a steady stream.

Someone must have been bitten by a bug. While Connie and I were in the pizza restaurant the diocese in ST. Louis received an emailed copy of the ad that had run in our little village’s paper. Thursday morning saw the saintly Father Eric Brown heading into St. Louis for a one on one private meeting with the bishop. I guess he had some explaining to do.

One of the rubes sent an email around ten in the morning informing us all that Maureen had been seen using a key, entering the mayor’s office only to discover that Lauren and James were not there. That was not surprising but knowing that Maureen did not know where he was, was puzzling.

About an hour later we received another saying Bubba, and I are following Maureen in the residential side streets in Cape. It appears she knows where she is going.

Shortly afterward, yet another one came in saying “Found the house where Maureen was going to. Guess whose cars are parked in the driveway. Bubba’s working his Canon digital camera as fast he can.”

I could not help thinking that Marble Hill, Missouri, was nothing more than a modern-day Penton Place and the Catholic church board was nothing more than the Harper Valley’s PTA.

Just as I was heading out to go to a drive-through to pick up lunch, I got a call on my cellphone from a number it did not recognize. I saw that it was local, so I answered.

“Bob, its Bubba,” he said. “Promise me that you won’t start any more shit until Wednesday?”

“Why? It’s been going so well,” I said. “From the way I see it, whatever is going on is starting to come apart at the seams.”

“Let’s just say I got the money shot that will blow it all wide open,” Bubba said with excitement in his voice. “Looks like Wednesday's paper is going to be a big ten-page edition including a tell-all revelation.

“Sounds like you have a winner,” I said.

“It’s big enough to double my circulation from the interest it will bring back to the local news,” Bubba said. “I guess I owe you and your dad big time.”

“So, I guess you and your partner in crime will be headed back,” I said. “Now that you got the story of stories.”

“Bob we only have begun. It’s off to country records to find out who owns the house,” he said. “Then we will try to interview them to learn if he knows who he is renting too.”

“Why are you going after this story, like a dog digging up a buried bone?” I asked.

“Because the village needs a commonsense man like you to be its mayor,” Bubba said. “I’m going to be trying to push you into it.”

“Good luck with that,” I said. “I’m not going to submit the application to run.”

“You don’t have to,” Bubba said. “Our two councilmen have given me their word that if Mayor James is forced to resign in disgrace, they will appoint you to finish his terms. The rest can be done with a write-in vote. I will be using the paper to encourage that.”

For the rest of the day, I was wondering why they wanted me to be the next village mayor. I am not anything special. I am like most common folk who are as honest as they can be.

The staff and I were going through the normal shutdown procedure for the day when an older man and a young lady came in asking if they could talk to me.

He had to be at least six foot four with short well-styled peppered hair. Other than that, nothing stood out, but I knew that he was a newbie to the area in the last few years. The young lady with him caught my attention because I could tell there was a family resemblance to Maureen McCormick, the mayor’s wife.

“What can I help you with,” I asked as I held my hand out.

“I’m Walter Deans, and this is my youngest daughter, Casandra,” he said as he shook my hand. “We would like to talk to you about a personal problem we both seem to have.”

“Why do you think that we have a personal problem?” I spoke. “The only problem I have is with my wife Lauren and her employer.”

“You are being diplomatic, Mr. Carson, I’m impressed,” said Walter Dean. “You fail to mention Maureen and Father Eric Brown.”

I admit that got my attention fast.

“Susan, we are going to go into the lunchroom and closing the door,” I said. “Let me know when everything’s locked up and you are leaving. “

“I can offer you a coffee or a coke,” I said after we had closed the lunchroom door.

“Thanks, but we would rather get this conversation done,” Walter said. “Maureen is my stepdaughter and I want you to know we, as a family, do not approve of her ongoing conduct.”

“That makes two of us,” I said with a smile. “If what I believe is going on, she’s about to be hit with a martial interference civil case as soon as I have started my divorce.”

“Good, she can afford it with the trust our great grandfather set up for her,” Casandra said. “Dad and I want to know if you would like notarized statements about what we know.”

“Why would the two of you be willing to do that,” I asked?

“Because we believe this was all set up before Lauren met you,” Casandra said. “And please call me Cass, all my friends do.”

That one simple statement led to a three-hour conversation. It was almost nine before I left the shop. Most of what I learned was the background material of Maureen, Lauren, and James' high school years and their long term friendship.

Maureen and Father Eric Brown met and fell in love when he was on a sabbatical In Jamaica. When Maureen learned she was pregnant, they had produced the scheme to protect their ongoing relationship.

She had moved to our village to be near the man she loved who was our local parish priest. Maureen and James had never legally married, and they slept in different bedrooms. Yet her three kids had his last name because they had to keep the appearance of being a loving married couple.

James McCormick agreed to sign on when she promised she would fund his running for a state seat. At that time Lauren and he had been engaged. When he was offered the deal, part of the cost was his ending his relationship with Lauren. Having that information provided to me allowed the pieces of the puzzle to start to come together.

It left a few unknown answers but until Wednesday I had to play dumb. Cass, I learned was in her last few months of training before she would get her veterinary diploma. In genuine interest, I had asked her to keep me informed.

*********

After showing the Deans out and rechecking to make sure everything was locked down, I headed over to Cape trying to decide what I wanted to eat. I guess it was at that moment I finally realized that my marriage to Lauren had been a façade conspired by four people to protect two from their long-term, sexual relationship being made public.

Lauren had willingly prostituted herself out to me to forward an agenda. I had to laugh because the Bible, in the book of Revelations, describes the Catholic church as the great harlot because of her political dealings and commerce deals with big business.

What people who followed the Christian faith today failed to see was that what most of us know about God and his son from his death until the third century was pure and unadulterated. Since then, most Christian organizations had their birth caused by the actions of a corrupted source the mother church of Christianity.

Learning that you have been used for what others considered to be a “greater purpose” sucked. Yet I knew that what they had done was no different than what the elected official in the federal government did all time to the public in general. Few ever told the truth or kept their word. Those who thought they were, soon found themselves corrupted by the system.

I was thankful that the supper rush crowd would almost be gone because it would give me a chance to figure out how to handle the changes in my life. I felt used by those of the local Catholic board.

Just as I was approaching the Hickory House in Jackson, I decided to pull in. I had just entered their door and standing in front of me was Casandra and another lady that I did not know.

Cass turned and looked back at me and said, “Bob, you should have told me you were coming here. I would have asked you to join us. Beverly, meet Bob. He’s the local vet in Marble Hill.”

“Would you like to join us?” Beverly asked. “If you do, we're going to pester you with all the questions we can think of because were both graduating as vets later this year.”

“If you two ladies promise to keep it about shop, I would love to,” I said. “Have you decided on a particular field you’re going to focus on?”

By the time we had finished dinner Cass and I had exchanged phone numbers. I learned she was twenty-three years old, and she learned I was approaching thirty. She had a personality that came out bright when I told the ladies a few of the funniest moments I had in my profession.

Her laughter was so loud it got the attention of all the guests in the restaurant.

“Can you find humor in a lot of the things you do?” Cass asked with a touch of seriousness in her voice.

“Of course,” I said. “It may not be humorous at the time, but it can be when you look back at the situation. You have to look at it that way because of how stupid you made yourself look.”

“In what way?” Beverly asked.

“When you are dealing with a life or death situation, where everything you do can make a difference,” I explained. “There are at times when your professionalism goes right out the window because the training and experience do not work. Your knowledge gets stuck inside in your mind and it cannot get out. It becomes the ‘whatever moment’ of the day because stupidity rules the day.”

“Are you always this straightforward and honest,” Cassandra asked?

“Yes,” I said. “If you can’t be honest about yourself, can you be honest about anything?”

I saw a tear forming in Cass’s eye, but I thought it was best not to pry. When the ticket was brought to me, I took it. When Beverly went to question what I was doing I raised an eyebrow.

“I want to thank you ladies by taking care of this,” I said while holding onto the ticket, “For keeping my mind from going to where it did not need to be.”

It was well after midnight when I pulled into the driveway of our home to find the lights all off. Lauren's car was parked in the garage.

Entering the house, I found her sitting at the kitchen table, which was at the back of the house with Maureen McCormick, the Mayor’s supposed wife. Maureen had Betty Davis's eyes which gave her a look that implied she had no inner soul.

“Maureen thought that she should explain to you, just what my relationship is with her and her husband,” Lauren said believing that she had found the perfect way to resolve our issues.

“Before we go any further with this, answer me one question Lauren,” I said. “Just how long have you known the mayor’s wife?”

“We met shortly after I got hired onto the village staff,” Lauren said. “When she stopped to see James.”

“Stop it,” I said. “I’m on to your lies and manipulations. The truth is Maureen, James, and you went to high school together In St. Louis. Maureen met the saintly Father Eric Brown when he was on a sabbatical from his priestly duties because of his crisis of faith issue. For appearance sake, she says she is married but her driver’s license shows her last name as Dean.”

I started to walk away, Lauren said, “Bob, we have to resolve this if we can because there is too much at stake.”

“Why? I have no reason to,” I said.

“Because if we don’t Father Eric Brown will be put in a position where he will have to decide to accept a transfer to the other side of purgatory or leave the church,” Lauren said seriously.

“Lauren, I no longer have a reason to believe anything you ever said or did,” I said. “Also, I’m not running for mayor. I did not place the ad in the paper, but none of you believe me, because you all lie so much that you all have lost the ability to discern when someone speaks the truth.”

Lauren and Maureen sat there in shock. They did not know what to say because neither had an answer to the facts as I presented them. My observation about their conduct and what it implied said it all.

“Did any of the four of you ask Bubba who placed the ad?” I asked “He may not tell you who placed the ad, but I am fairly sure all his staff will verify it wasn’t me. Finally, since I know about the love nest in Cape, Lauren, I expect you to be out of this house for good by the end of this week.”

“How much money do you want to keep everything quiet and get through your divorce quickly?” Maureen asked after gathering her thoughts. “Will three-quarters of a million be enough?”

“You are barking up the wrong tree with that one,” I said.

“Why?” asked both Maureen and my wife.

“First of all, since I am not Catholic, that does not make me an elite,” I said. “Money, power, and the greater need of the Catholic Church mean nothing to me. I am what you all have proved you are not: An honest man who will not be bought by anyone.”

“Secondly my morals, principles, and standards would not allow myself to do what the four of you have done,” I said. “I will not prostrate who and what I am for the protection of the church.”

“So, what do you want?” Maureen asked figuring everyone had their price.

“The four of you to burn in eternal damnation with the rest of our society that is not of your faith,” I replied. “This conversation is over as I got work in the morning so good night.”

********

It was around two o’clock on Friday that Bubba called me. It seemed the Catholic church’s version of the Harper Valley’s PTA had been in to see him.

“I told them, and my staff did too, that it wasn’t you who placed the ad,” Bubba said in laughter. “I think they are beginning to comprehend they have been chasing the wrong scent.”

“Good,” I said. “Two of the idiots who still see themselves as elitists tried to sandbag me last night but failed.”

I ended up having to explain to Bubba what I had learned about the four's background and history with each other as he wrote it down in shorthand. I made sure to stress that, James, during his formative years had always seen himself as God’s gift to women.

Bubba was planning to include the information in the big exposure on Wednesday. James was not doing it only for a political reason, but also because he had been in love with Lauren for years and wanted to keep her close to him.

“The love nest we discovered yesterday is part of a whole subdivision that is own by the Catholic diocese in St Louis, “ Bubba explained. “Century twenty-one in Jackson is the property manager. The bishop told me, in my chat with him this morning, the Saintly Father Eric Brown admitted that the ‘immaculate conception’ was hogwash because the mother had confessed in confession who the father was but was not revealing it because she was protecting his identity.”

“Did you inform the bishop about what we know?” I asked wanting to be somewhat prepared for what might be coming. “At least we know that the saintly Father Eric Brown told the truth to a point?”

“No, but he knows I’m writing an explosive story and he got me to agree to send him an email copy of it just before the paper is released,” Bubba said. “When the Bishop asked if there was more to the story then what was explained to him, I said hell “yes.”

“I told James’s lover she had until the end of the weekend to move out,” I said. “ I will list the house with the realtors sometime this weekend and start looking for some farmland that I can build a house and a new clinic on before the lease on this building runs out.”

James McCormick made my day by walking into my clinic just as I was preparing to leave.

“Mr. Carson, I’m here to inform you that Lauren took the day off to remove her items out of her former residence, “ the mayor said. “She should be done in a couple of hours.”

I did not say a word, I did not have to because my fist did. I let my staff handle the mess once they got over the shock of witnessing what I did.

********

I was in the clinic feeding the animals, checking up on my clients, and following up with notes in the medical reports on each animal early Saturday morning. I heard a knock at the clinic’s front door.

I came out to the front to discover Cassandra and Beverly at the door. After unlocking, I invited them in. They had been driving by and had seen my truck parked outside.

It took me about three hours to give them an official tour because with each animal they saw they had to know what the medical problem was and how I was resolving it. It was nice to share my thoughts with people who were going into my profession.

We had just finished saying goodbye as I was letting them out when the Chief of police showed up to recommend that I turn myself in on Monday: I was facing a charge of aggravated assault.

“Just so you know,” Cass said to the chief, “Bob will turn himself in at ten with his lawyer present.”

“Any time Monday morning is fine by me,” Chief Pearson said. “It’s the asshole mayor who is pressing the charge, and that puts me in the middle.”

“What did you do,” Cass asked me?

“He came to tell me that Lauren was almost done moving out,” I said. “I lost it and threw my fist at him, landing a couple.”

With that Cass got her phone out and called her father. It was then that I learned he was a lawyer. They talked for a few minutes then she handed the phone to Chief Pearson.

“Beverly, I am going to have to break our plans for the day,” Cass said. “I’ve got to take my boyfriend to my dad. He wants to see him.”

“Good thing we were using my car,” Beverly said. “I got to admit this is a novel way of getting your first date.”

I could not help noticing Cass as she blushed. Until that moment I had not thought about a new relationship with someone of the opposite sex. But it was clear by her reaction that she was interested in me.

The chief handed back the phone to Cass and said to us all. “I’ve been asked to talk to our favorite mayor and inform him what your father's plan of defense is. The way it has been explained, it is going to be temporary insanity because of the emotional turmoil you were dealing with.”

“Why is that important?” I asked.

“Because it means that what drove you to that point will have to be explained to the court,” Chief Pearson said. “I’m going to be telling the asshole mayor that everything you know will have to disclosed.”

“Cass, I think your dad has put this mess back in the mayor's hands,” I said with a smile on my face.

“I agree,” Chief Pearson said. “My gut is telling the charges will be dropped by the end of the day. Your lawyer made it clear that Mr. Fancy Pants our mayor knows what will be revealed.”

Cass smiled and slid her hand into mine as if it were the most natural thing to do. It forced me to admit that she was more than interested,

After locking up, Cass said, “I hope you got a pair of swimming trunks because were having a barbeque out at my parent's place.”

“I do but I wanted to go over to Jackson and list my home for sale, “I said. “Do we have time to do that first?”

“Yes,” Cass replied. “Are you perhaps rushing things?”

“I lease the building the clinic is in,’ I said. “The divorce will start as soon as I hire a lawyer. That gives me the perfect opportunity to look for some land along the highway on which I can build an expanded clinic, a barn, and a new home.”

“Are you sure?” Cass asked out of concern. “I wouldn’t want you to rush into something and end up regretting it down the road.”

“I’ve already been approved for the loan,” I explained. “This was going to be happening regardless. I just consider it a blessing because it will help put my former life behind me faster.”

It was about two hours later that Cass directed me into her father’s place. Walter Dean’s spread was amazing. Just seeing it left me with the impression that he spent more money a year on landscaping and maintenance than I did in on my mortgage. His U-shaped home was fantastic. I soon learned I was wrong.

“Mom has a green thumb,” Cass explained. “Most of the plants and shrubs have been grown over the years from cutting that friends and neighbors have given her. She spends about an hour at the crack of the day tending the garden and the various flowerbeds.”

Surprisingly, Mrs. Dean was as down to earth as her husband and Cass. I commented that I was surprised because I expected her to be more like an elite.

“Bob, my first husband was like that, and Maureen takes after him,” Shania stated. “It took me five years to realize it. I met Walt at a fishing hole that I was hiding out in so my soon to be ex couldn’t find me.”

“At first she thought I had been hired to bring her back,” Walt said. “She tried to run me off with a shotgun. When she fired the gun in the air, my fishing buddy and I got out of there fast. Shania ran into me after her divorce was over and apologized. Eight months later we were married.”

“He’s never let me forget it,” Shania said. “He tells everyone we get to know that we had us a shotgun wedding.”

Cass told her parents about Beverly and her getting the royal tour of my clinic and how it was set up before I was shown where I could change into my trunks.

I had just returned from changing when the news I received through me for a loop.

“Bob!” Shania asked. “Did my husband and daughter inform you that Maureen and James are half brothers and sisters? Maureen is two years older. James’ mother was my ex-husbands executive assistant that he impregnated when we were married.”

“So, does that mean that Maureen’s last name has always been McCormick?”

“Afraid so,” Shania responded.

I could not help but laugh thinking that when Bubba heard what I had just learned he was most likely going to have to rewrite the front page.

“So, he did not get involved because of the money Maureen offered him,” I asked?

“Yes, he did,” Shania explained. “Maureen got her inheritance from my parents. Maureen’s father has always lived thirty days away from bankruptcy.”

Cass rejoined us from having gone to get changed into her two-piece, white bikini. I thought at that moment if I opened my mouth, they would have seen it drooling.

Cass was eye-catching. With her tight well-shaped body on full display and long blonde hair resting on her shoulders, if I had been single, I would be chasing her all over. Her curves were in the right spot, and she knew just how and when to display them. The bathing suit was designed to draw one's attention to her shape, and it did its job well.

I knew with that white bikini, if it got soaking wet, you would be able to yell “free show” because nothing would remain hidden.

Walt was sitting beside me in a lounge chair, and we were both enjoying a couple of cold buds. He leaned towards me and said, “You look like I did when I met Shania for the first time. I thought she was husband-hunting. Turns out, in a way I was right. If I’m reading this right it might be your last chance to run.”

“If that is true,” I said. “Why would she be interested in a country hick like me?”

“You’re down to earth,” Walt said. “Don’t put air’s on for anyone. You have the rep of being a fair and honest man who does not interfere with others. Cass, like you, has a love for animals. She told us after the dinner you shared, where you entertained her and her girlfriend, that the stories you told poked fun at yourself for being human.”

“It was later that they both realized that you were showing them how to be prepared for the worst moments in the industry that they were going to experience,” Walt said, “It made everything they were preparing for seem real.”

“School prepares you for so much,” I said. “Reality does not hit until your knee-high into it. I often wished that someone had given me a cushion to hold onto. I learned the hard way on my own just how tough it can be .”

“Don’t we all,” Walt said. “I give it eight months?”

Give what eight months?” I asked, not cluing in.

“Until I have a son in law that I am actually going to like,” Walt said with a chuckle before adding, “Cass has already planned on having four rugrats running after her.”

It actually turned out to be an enjoyable afternoon for the four of us. Chief Pearson called about four that afternoon to inform me the mayor had decided to drop the charges.

After dinner, Walt walked out with me to my truck.

“Bob, congrats. You handled the situation well,” Walt said. “I’ve never seen Cass so frustrated in years.”

“I really have no choice,” I said. “Not going to do something stupid until I get my divorce done but believe me, I can see myself doing a lot of stupid things with your daughter if she would allow me to.”

“I will handle your divorce case, but I do want your word on one thing,” Walt said.

“Agreed, but what's the one thing?” I asked.

“That it won’t have to be a shotgun wedding.” Walt said with a laugh.”

*********

I spent Sunday with my parents catching them up with what had been going on with the events of the last few weeks. What we could not figure out was if Lauren and James had been involved with each other when we started dating.

Early Monday I called Bubba at his home and revealed the whole story as I now understood it. That’s when Bubba produced the title for his editorial: “What happens when the church will not allow their fathers to marry.”

“Bubba, you know what a brilliant idea would be,” I said. “Run a special edition on Tuesday with the regular paper on Wednesday. I will buy a one-page ad to help you with the cost of doing it.”

“That’s a great idea,” Bubba said. “I’ll talk to our councilmen revealing to them what's coming out and see if they want to call for the mayor to resign.”

“It will be too late to deliver to deliver the copies to the businesses because of the time limits caused by printing,” Bubba explained. “But Jed will bring it with him on his usual Wednesday drop.”

“Do you think the Cape stations will pick it up,” I asked. “After you publish?”

“Hell, the snobs will be all over it,” Bubba laughed. “They think we're so small that we shouldn’t be calling ourselves a newspaper.”

Later that day Walt Deans called me to inform me he had Lauren served with the petition for divorce papers at the mayor’s office at two that afternoon.

On Tuesday, the special-edition paper was delivered to the house between seven and nine at night. The headline read “Councilmen demands Mayor resignation.” It then went on to explain the whole situation. My ad in support of the four-page paper promoted the need of spading their dogs and cats and getting their shots for protection.

The paper revealed the long term affair of my wife and the mayor, and their relationship before the brother and sister started pretending that they were married. The article also revealed the cover-up and hiding the fatherhood of Father Eric Brown, his three daughters, and his biblical relationship with the mayor's sister, Maureen. I had to laugh because it truly was a family affair.

The fact that, quite often, Lauren and James could be found at their love nest when they should have been at the mayor’s office conducting village business, I found quite amusing. Bubba raised the question if they could be charged for getting paid while making “hankie pankie.”

It even showed the couple in a state of undress while talking to Maureen at the front door of their rented love nest, which was owned by the Catholic church. Bubba was right: the money shot was a goldmine. It proved beyond a doubt the relationship between the three and how it was interconnected.

After two hours of answering cellphone calls, I finally shut it off and went to bed knowing that I would spend more hours answering questions the next day then getting work done.

********

I was sitting at the kitchen table eating the two toasted egg and cheese sandwiches I had made while drinking hot coffee when I decided to finally turn my cell back on. Casandra was the first to call.

“Did you know that they were all going to be outed?” Cass asked sounding totally pleased.

“Bubba was part of the team I put together,” I said. “After learning that Lauren was taking the morning-after pill, I decided that I had to find out what the truth was. It took about three weeks to put it all together. Do you think that James will resign?”

“Maureen called dad for advice last night,” Cass explained. “He told her that, either way, James was gone. The ongoing investigations into everything he has done, and going forth if he stays, could lead to charges being filed.”

While we were talking a second call came in, “Cassandra can I call you back? Someone else is calling me.”

“How about we meet at the clinic. I’m not due at school until one because I was doing some fieldwork on Sunday,” Cass asked.

That would be perfect,” I said as I hung up.

I answered the incoming call. “Bob, its Bubba,” Bubba said. “The city council called an emergency council meeting last night. About twenty of the local businesspeople and I attended. Both Lauren and James resigned from their positions effective immediately.”

“Peter Stroud, George Persil, and I nominated you to take over the position of mayor,” Bubba said. “Councilman Davis asked if there were any further nominations that the public wished to consider. When he got no response, he asked for a show of hands of those present who approved of you being appointed as the new mayor. It was unanimous. Congrats Mr. Mayor you will be sworn in on Friday during the regular monthly meeting.

All I could say was, “Well shit.”

Bubba laughed and asked, “I hope you can find a suitable assistant fast, Mr. Mayor, because we both know you got a lot of things to get straightened out in our little village.”

“For the mayor’s office or for my clinic,” I asked being a bit of a smart ass.

“Beverly Jackson is my second cousin,” Bubba said. “I hear, her best friend Casandra Deans has told her to keep her distance from you. Care to tell me why?”

“I met her father and her last week,” I said with a chuckle. “He’s Maureen’s stepfather and my lawyer. Walt Deans warned me that Cass sees me as husband material. I told him I had my running shoes on, and she would have a hard time catching me.”

Bubba laughed and said, “You are going to be so busy just getting into the swing of things that she will have you hog tied before you know it.”

“Now you are pulling my leg, you bastard,” I said seriously. “There is no way I’m going to let that happen.”

**********

It has been ten years since that Friday that I got sworn in as Mayor. It is now a job and a title that I cannot get rid of. Shaina and Walt are coming over to pick up the rug rats, all six of them. The kids know somethings up because their Pa is not in his overalls. Lauren and James got married and moved to Lodi California.

Father Eric Brown is a father no more, but he did make an honest woman out of Maureen. They now live in Florida. We see them around about once a year when they come to visit if we run into them.

I am taking my wife, Cassandra out to Red Lobster for dinner. She’s due to drop our seventh, with our luck it will be tonight. With four boys and two girls, we do not care what it is as long if it is healthy.

We built the house and the clinic with two barns. We have become the best known veterinary clinic in our county. Because of the size of our family and the mayor’s job we only work in it part-time. I started it with a staff of four and now it has sixteen. We got Beverly basically running it.

I must be doing something right because Marble Hills Missouri now has a population of twelve thousand, I still don’t run, but win with a landslide because of write-in votes. To this day, the town thanks God every day that I am not Catholic.