“I saw you help that boy today. Oh sure, I was angry that you went behind my back and took the risk, but it reminded me just how capable you are. Never forget this: you can do anything you put your mind to, Evelyn.”
–Marquise Jones, “Unnamed”. 3 Months After.
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“I can’t do this!” Evelyn shouted, the scalpel shaking in hand.
“And why is that?” Mother asked.
Because you’re a fucking psychopath, Evelyn almost said. Winry lay on the operating table in front, her soft, brown eyes glazed over as her furry chest rose and fell. Evelyn had come to love her pet goat after raising her, and now she was expected to do this?
“Winry is suffering from internal bleeding brought about by her injury,” Mother said calmly. “The only way to save her is to perform a laparotomy on the affected area, just as I’ve taught you.”
She grit her teeth. “Why can’t you do it? You’re the one who hurt her!”
“That I was the cause of her injuries is irrelevant. This is your pet suffering by my hand today, but it will one day be someone you love through an ill twist of fate. If you remain hesitant now, how will you be able to protect your children when the time comes?”
That made Evelyn blush. “I’m only sixteen!”
“And already, you’re one of the last remaining fertile women in this world.” She leaned in. “You’re wasting precious time, Evelyn. The pressure will continue to build inside Winry until her organs fail. I suggest that you act quickly if you want to keep her alive.”
She’s really going to make me do this, isn’t she? Mother had been protecting Evelyn since freeing her from the Jailors. There was no denying how much safer she’d been in her hands. The cold basement of Mother’s Grace was a godsend compared to the world beyond, and Mother planned to even build an entire bunker for Evelyn to survive inside. A place where she’d live free from the Hollowing, once and for all.
But Mother was also a rezzer like any other. Cold. Dead. A monster driven strongest by her hunger. She knew it. She owned it. And it was in that ownership thatshe defined their relationship. Mother pushed Evelyn to become stronger so she could survive on her own. This was just another step in her development, as much as it messed her up inside.
Evelyn looked into Winry’s sedated eyes. They were so calm and peaceful. Her muscles relaxed. Evelyn didn’t want anyone else to die. She couldn’t. Not when she could do something about it.
Evelyn sliced along the abdomen where the bruising occurred, just as Mother had shown her. Fresh blood burst through the opening. Once upon a time, this much blood would’ve caused her to faint on the spot, but she didn’t even blink against it anymore.
“Suction,” Evelyn ordered.
Mother complied, handing her the tube. Whirring grew as she swallowed the blood up, exposing raw muscles beneath. Evelyn calmly peeled more layers of flesh away. More blood flowed free. She swept it out, looking instead for signs of where the vessels had burst. Got you. The moment she reached the liver, the area practically overflowed with fluid.
“Suture,” Evelyn said. Mother followed along.
I can do this. Evelyn moved methodically as she sealed the torn vessels and alleviated the pressure. This type of surgery would be the easiest. Not like removing an organ, or tumor, or cyst. Evelyn wasn’t just some regular sixteen-year-old girl either. She’d become a survivor of the Hollowing. One of the dwindling few left. So long as she trusted in herself, everything would be okay.
It was almost over. Evelyn had identified three different burst vessels and finished closing them all. Just need to trim the excess stitches…
But then her finger slipped.
Scarlet fluid burst forth in spades. She quickly went for suction, but it couldn’t clear it out fast enough. So much blood!
“Why won’t it stop!?” Evelyn asked as her heart raced.
Mother sighed. “You’ve pierced a major artery, Evelyn.”
Oh, God! Winry’s vitals began to slow. Evelyn moved faster to sew the wound up, but the blood seemed to have a life of its own, and within moments, her arms were drenched past the elbows.
“I’m sorry,” Mother said, “but there’s nothing more to be done.”
She injected another syringe into the IV bag above and pulled Evelyn’s hands away.
The heart monitor flattened out within moments as Evelyn stood powerless. Winry’s eyes changed in that last quiet second. It was the same as Evelyn had seen before, time and time again. That moment when the mind finally disappeared for good, replaced by an emptiness that knew nothing else. She still remembered the first time she’d seen, locked in the eyes of a hollow behind a fence during Z-Day. There were so many after that too. From the people who’d hollowed to the survivors that’d been killed to the ones she’d murdered herself. It had been the same from her father in his final moments.
The same look that Mother had now.
“It’s your fault!” Evelyn swore, swinging her scalpel. Mother grabbed her wrist before the blow could land.
“Will harming me alter the events of today?” she asked, still with that cold, dead stare.
Evelyn’s eyes watered, and the scalpel fell from her hand. Before she knew it, before she realized it was happening, she was bawling her eyes out, once again that sad little girl. But she didn’t care. What did any of this matter?
Mother dropped down. “It’s okay, Evelyn. You are right. This is my error for forcing you to act before you are ready. No one is to blame for Winry’s death but me.”
“Why me?” Evelyn squeaked. “Why do I always have to be so strong?”
Mother hugged her tight. “Hades just launched an ICBM into an Antarctic facility that we had made contact with. Another group of irreplaceable living souls, extinguished for good. This follows the extermination of the Vancouver Island community that Leah destroyed alone. I have tried my best to be proactive in finding you partners, but the Hunters are moving faster than I can respond on my own. It won’t be long before you’re all that remains.”
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Evelyn blinked through the tears. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to be the only one saved.”
“It is us who are undeserving of you, Evelyn. Make no mistake. I may not have birthed you in a literal sense, but you are still my daughter, and I will do everything in my power to craft a world in your image. But still, that could never be enough. Not for you. The Hollowing could be reversed and humanity returned to its former glory, but that would still be a mere afterthought compared with my love for you. You deserve more than I could ever give.”
Evelyn held her back, her eyes closed. This life was bitter and cruel to no end, but wrapped inside Mother’s arms, the pain drifted away.
Only here was she truly safe.
* * *
Evelyn studied Mother’s Grace from the safety of the balcony.
She couldn’t get a good sight from this vantage. Almost a mile away and tucked between buildings, only a corner of the giant red cross banner could be seen, along with the vague silhouette of a sniper posted above.
Evelyn doubled back inside with a sigh. Liam watched on as their daughter lay in bed.
“How’s she doing?” Evelyn asked.
He patted Leah’s head. “Dare I say that she’s sleeping like a baby?”
“Looks like she’s finally gotten used to her new surroundings.”
“At least one of us has.” He rubbed the heavy bags below his eyes.
You can say that again. It had been just shy of a week since they’d come to Pandemonium. A week of not being able to sleep for more than an hour at a time. Between Leah’s non-stop crying and the endless noise of a city that knew no sleep, it felt like neither Evelyn nor Liam would ever be able to close their eyes in peace again.
They did have a good situation, thankfully. The other Leah had set them up with a unit right at the top of the Lodge. She had a feeling this room once belonged to Mother’s old lieutenant, Mr Clean. He always took cleanliness to the next level, anyway. A private cistern that was separate from the main water line had been installed, and it carried a triple filtration system that kept HBRS pseudo-cells from passing through. Evelyn thought it was bullshit at first, but she’d tested it more than a dozen times before Liam finally wore her down. Now, their daughter could get the proper hot bath that they could rarely do back home. When combined with the furnishings, the free TV, and an electrical grid that knew no limit, their lives were more comfortable than they’d ever been before.
But this was not enough. It could never be here. Not in a place where her daughter’s life was at stake.
“I’m going out,” Evelyn decided.
“How much longer can you stand on that balcony?” Liam asked with a yawn.
She went for her backpack. Where her husband had been quick to offload his gear, she had kept her own zipped up in case they ever had to turn on a dime.
“No. Out, out. I’m going to scout the city.”
He blinked. “Why would you do that? We’re finally comfortable, and our daughter is safe, and you want to risk it all by sneaking off on your own?”
“We’re only ever safe while we’re safe, Liam. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been a week since we arrived, and your friend still hasn’t come up with any answers. How long do you think Leah can keep this going?”
“Longer than if you try to play Rambo in a city filled with intelligent zombies. Besides, you’ll never make it past the guards.”
“There’s a gap in their patrols on the west side. I could be down the balcony, over the fence, and back again without anyone seeing me. Just another reason to see what else they missed.” She grinned. “Besides, you might have only spent a night here before, but don’t forget that I lived for over five years in this city before Mother had Cheyenne operational. That’s five years of experience keeping my head down. Trust me, I’ve forgotten more about Pandemonium than most of its residents will ever know.”
Liam looked at Leah, then back to her. “I still think you’ve lost your mind, but don’t let me get in your way. As long as you make it back safe, that’s all that matters…” His voice trailed off at the end, as though he had more to say.
“I’ll be fine,” Evelyn repeated. She couldn’t read her husband’s mind, but she knew her own and trusted her instincts above all else.
Evelyn quickly threw the last of her disguise together. Unlike hollows, rezzers were easier to fool once getting over her living scent. A hoodie over her hair, some sunglasses to hide the eyes, and a dash of their artificial hollow spray was all she needed to fit right in. She didn’t even bother with the respirator, instead wrapping cloth around her face to cover her otherwise full and vibrant lips. They only had so many filters left to spare.
Once finished, she waited for the window of opportunity and tossed a rope over the balcony. She rappelled below. Fast and silent. Scaling the Lodge’s outer wall was even quicker. By the time the guards rounded back, Evelyn already strolled around the bend.
Only to stop once she hit the next opening. A flood of loud noises and neon lights burst in front, somehow blinding her even through the shades.
Rezzers were such strange creatures. Their minds were under constant assault by the Hollowing, so any stretch in stagnation had a habit of accelerating the process. They had devised various tricks to fight against this fate, ranging from the practical to the fantastic.
Asphodel was one such solution. As the center of commerce in Pandemonium, its shopkeepers engaged in a never-ending arm’s race to outdo each other, always striving to make bigger, flashier, and louder forms of advertisement to catch a potential patron’s attention. With no one to step in and tell them otherwise, they could keep building an arsenal of LCD screens and floodlightsforever. The end result lay in front. A constant, turbulent rush of bright colors and lights. Even Evelyn found herself hypnotized by so much constant and conflicting stimulation in one place, her brain kicking into overdrive just to process a fraction of it. From what she remembered, the residents here hollowed slowest on their own, and it was no surprise why.
She strolled down the street, blinking away the noise while sliding through the crowd. Hundreds of Hunters, bosses, and workers streamed by, all struggling to find their way in this chaotic expanse of an undead bazaar.
Evelyn tried to inspect her surroundings with a critical eye, but the exercise proved a waste. She hadn’t been exposed to so much in such rapid succession since the last time she’d been here, and her memories paled in comparison to this overproduced mess.
In the end, she found herself a block away and out of view, with nothing new to report other than a dozen ads of guns and lotions replaying in her mind’s eye on loop.
But then the world slowed again, and her spider senses tingled like nobody’s business. The sudden silence and darkness hit harder than the mayhem before. Every blind nook was potentially occupied. Every shadow held a possible threat. Evelyn could feel others out there. Watching. Waiting. Biding time until she slipped up and turned away for too long. Her hand instinctively fingered the pistol at her waist. Nothing else could save her here should trouble come her way.
But that was Tartarus in a nutshell. Where Asphodel had grown so vast over time, Tartarus defined itself by its ominous calm. The buildings might’ve been taller and roads more developed, but those heights only made for tighter, darker alleys. Endless gaps were created, leaving perfect ambush spots for the unwary.
Not every rezzer was destined for wealth or comfort. Most were lucky if they could keep their vocal cords intact. These unwashed masses made their homes inside the dimly lit blocks of Tartarus, if they had any homes at all. Without the added security or Hunters floating around, no safety could be found here other than that which one created for themselves.
Evelyn’s fingers stayed firmly wrapped around the polymer grip of her SigSauer as she marched onward in silence,watching everything that crossed her gaze yet learning nothing. What few figures she could identify in the shadows stole all her attention, and there were no doubt plenty more hidden from her.
This exercise dragged on, block by block, until she found her next destination.
Her heart skipped a beat at the sight. A giant white banner with a red cross hung from the hospital’s walls. Floodlights radiated out for all of Pandemonium to see. Where the rest of the city was either shrouded in darkness or multicolor lights, Mother’s Grace stood out in its whitened purity. A bastion of stability against an otherwise anarchic world.
Finally, Evelyn had come home.