“In addition to a further breakdown to autonomic motor functions, damage to the cingulate gyrus appears to feed into the aggression we witness with hollows. Even if they sense danger intuitively, they cannot process it.”
–Mother, “Notes on HBRS-15.21”. 6 Years After.
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All things considered, this wasn’t a bad week.
Liam lassoed the last bit of fibers in place and wiped the sweat from his clean-shaven chin. There, another successful project complete. Now his daughter would have a more suitable playpen doubled in size from the first, its boundaries a mix of cushioned bedposts and fibrous netting. Hungry waited patiently for his companion to arrive, his button eyes brightened under the rays of light that spilled in from outside. “Life is good,” his chest still proudly declared, and with this latest invention, it was hard to disagree.
With Evelyn running off to spy on the Beholders and Leah out of town to get reinforcements, Liam had spent his time getting back into his craftsmanship. Back in his Purgatory days, this had been the norm for his survival and general sanity. It was nice to be in the swing of things again. He’d started by making Hungry, but the itch only grew stronger with time. Before Liam knew it, he fixed the oven, the laundry machine, pipes connecting them, and even replaced insulation in the walls where needed.
Chantelle became an invaluable intermediate to the outside world, though everything she brought in always carried a foul, chemical stench. It could not be helped. Everything imported into their little hovel needed to be sterilized before use, especially since his less hygienic roommate preferred thumbs and doorknobs to a pacifier.
Not that Liam minded. The more time available, the more he spread his projects outward. By this point, one of the extra storage rooms had been converted into an entire entertainment complex for Leah, with a deluge of puzzles and play kits built to satiate her budding curiosities.
There was nothing better for him to do either. So, while the others were bogged down combating the Beholders, Liam provided aid in his own little way. So long as his daughter remained calm and happy, what better way could he make a difference?
The solitude did start to weigh on him, however. This was not his first bout of isolation. Liam had spent most of his adult life trapped, with no company save for the memories that had brought him there. Even when he made his heroic escape and worked his way back to the mainland, all he encountered were intelligent undead and not the family he left behind.
It wasn’t until Evelyn that he’d tasted human connection again, but only through the seeds of mutual self-interest. In many ways, Liam and loneliness were still lifelong bedfellows.
And yet, he seemed the only one interested in putting that relationship to rest in favor of greater bonds. His good friend, Leah, cared about nothing more than hiding atop the mountain of sovereignty she had carved from the ruins of this world. Meanwhile, Evelyn wasted no time thrusting herself back into conflict just to ensure the scales were tipped back in their favor. Neither of these women focused on the connections they’d cultivated, instead marching their solo paths in the vain hope of neutralizing every possible threat.
Was life worth living when it was done without companionship? In a bubble of identity divorced from the platonic and romantic, what type of relationships remained?
He kissed his daughter. “I’ve still got you, at least, yeah?”
Leah goggled back, a bubble blowing from her plump lips.
“That’s right. Me and you don’t need to run off and conquer the world together. We can always enjoy the time we’ve been given.”
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She started to cry before long. First, a small sob, but it escalated quickly. Liam juggled her around before the acrid scent leaked out from her diaper.
“Ugh,” he grunted. “Again with you? That’s the fifth time today, and I don’t even know where it’s coming from. You’ve barely had an ounce of food today.” He raised the can of crushed lentils to accentuate the point. “What do you have to say to that?”
Leah said nothing, only grimaced in further pain.
“Alright, alright. You drive a hard bargain. But I swear, you’ll do this for me one day, and I’ll be twice as fussy if you keep this up.”
Liam dragged Leah to the bathroom and went through the routine yet again. Perhaps the nicest of all amenities in this place was its cleanliness. Rather than having to clean her up on the bunker floor or in the aura of an open septic toilet, the top of a luxury hotel made for quite the changing pad.
To think how much of this process Liam had missed out on during his younger years. Back when his first family still lived, he lacked the time necessary to babysit his daughter, Lilith. The responsibility had fallen to Nelly alone while he ran around the country. First as a photographer for an advertising company, but eventually as a television survivalist. Oh, what he would trade to go back and live those days differently.
In truth, Liam had squandered that time for his selfish ends and forgotten how much value these shared experiences created. Even if Leah would not remember that he’d cleaned the shit from her legs, he’d never forget the missed opportunity to do the same for Lilith. His poor daughter had grown up in a world without a father, only to have her life cut short when the Hollowing came.
And worst of all, there had never been any closure for them. For all Liam knew, his family was still out there, somewhere…
Don’t dwell on it, he reminded himself. He could not control the events of years long passed. All Liam could manage was the present, with the people he’d come to love. That made his life worth living.
He wrapped up the mess, tossed the used diaper aside, and slid a fresh one into place. Leah beamed back, now satisfied. At least there is no shortage of these. As luck would have it, Asphodel’s shops were replete with diapers, as many rezzers had difficulty controlling their bowels after the Marks they’d sustained.
Liam smiled. “Okay, love, let’s get you back to your friend.”
Hungry remained where he’d been left, his arms wide for a hug. Liam placed his daughter well within reach for her new companion to embrace.
…Only for Leah to crawl the other way, choosing the hand-built drums instead. Her chubby fingers plopped against the layer of packing tape along the rim of the coffee can, producing a sharp beat. She giggled and selected another, this one a recycled PVC pipe that drew a duller thud. Her cackle grew, and she floundered for the wider paint bucket, though her accuracy was less pronounced here. Undaunted, she continued to plop about the options available. Her musical career flew in full swing as the medley of ratta-tat-tas grew.
And Hungry remained in the same place as always. Still silent. Still ready for someone to recognize the truth plastered across his chest. Life is good, Leah. Don’t you forget.
So it was that everyone these days felt compelled to live in their own worlds.
What was Liam to do? He supposed he was as responsible as any for the current state of affairs. The fissure in his relationship with Evelyn had been born in equal part from her withdrawal and his hubris. Even Pandemonium stood as no more than a pause for those woes.
Liam looked again to Hungry and considered his position. Evelyn might have been pushing away from him, but he’d also done nothing to stop her. Too busy living in the past and the present to concern himself with their future. But where would he be without her? When push came to shove, what life would he have now if he lost Evelyn altogether?
Liam breathed deep. He loved Nelly, even to this day. That much he could not deny. But Liam did love Evelyn too. She had fought for so long and gone through so much to reach this point, only to drift further away in her endless pursuit to shoulder all burdens. Even if she found new ways to frustrate him with her struggles, did she not deserve to be loved all the same?
He breathed deep, knowing the answer. So long as Liam chose not to perform his duty as a husband as well as a man, there would be no path forward for the two, but apart. The fate of the world no longer mattered, nor the continued threat against them. Not when Evelyn was still in so much pain.
It was time for Liam to make his own amends.