Jeanne regularly changed Babylonia’s mode of transportation as she trudged through the cave system. Carrying her on her back, carrying her in front of her like a baby, carrying her like a princess, briefly pondering whether not to just drag her across the ground like a dead corpse. Not that she had seen any alive ones at any point.

The exertion had gotten to her.

Surely some scholars argued that vampires were dead corpses, she thought.

Then she realized that food, sunlight and some sleep were in order. Not that any of it was at her disposal. She considered eating some cave bats, if she ever came across them. Babylonia wouldn’t mind her eating some bats for sure. After all she was starving to death.

Wait, no. Vampires turning into bats is just a racist stereotype because they started predominantly living underground or in caves due to their reaction to sunlight.

She sighed and looked at a wall. Or maybe the ceiling. It was all pitch-black, so it was hard to tell.

I need to touch some grass.

At this point Jeanne had run out of synonyms for thinking about things, so let’s just say her mind now mostly consisted of a spreadsheet listing different drugs and detailing the ways they might help her. Sometimes this help came in the form of death.

At some point she had gotten back up, the girl hanging around her shoulders.

Levitation spells were not an option. The corridors were too narrow, she’d most likely bang Babylonia against the cave walls until she might as well leave her behind.

That’s what you get for flirting with a vampire girl, Jeanne. What do I tell the king if I ever get us out of here ...

As she made another step forward, she realized something had changed. She felt a tingling just above her neck and went from exhausted to alert. The aura in what seemed to be a new cave section was drastically different from before.

Have I accidentally stepped into a spell?

Jeanne decided to venture ahead, nonetheless. Was there any other option, really?

As she took her steps ahead, she realized, that the aura she perceived kept changing. The oppressive force of the surrounding cave walls seemed to lessen and as she went further and further ahead, she realized why.

Moonlight.

Far above a crack several feet above her head floated a silver sphere lighting up the vast cave Jeanne found herself in, after wandering through narrow corridors for what must undoubtedly have been hours.

“Finally!!!” Her shout ricocheted off the walls disappearing into the many holes and cracks surrounding her.

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Her shout immediately elicited a response from deeper within the caves and when Jeanne noticed the voices and footsteps from further inside it was already too late.

She found herself surrounded by a dozen people. They didn’t come armed, for they did not need arms. Their bodies under the moonlight passed as powerful weapons themselves.

“You have trespassed into the territory of the Vampire Kingdom! Surrender yourself to us!” A woman, undoubtedly their leader, shouted at her.

Jeanne clenched her jaw and steadily breathed in and out. She really wasn’t in the mood for this kind of bullshit. Especially since she was weakened and clearly outnumbered, she wouldn’t be able to make a run for it.

She noticed a slight commotion coming from the vampires opposite of their leader.

“Hey, isn’t that the master’s pupil?” someone pointed out. They were talking about Babylonia on Jeanne’s back.

“Hand her over at once!” The leader now commanded her after confirming it for herself. If the group wasn’t alert already, they sure were now. Some widened their stance, made themselves bigger, appearing more threatening.

“Okay, okay, okay, before this all turns into a classic case of big damn misunderstanding, would y’all please let me explain myself?” Jeanne asked into the group. She noticed her filter had turned off. She would never actually speak like this. Thankfully there wasn’t a mirror around to confirm she probably looked like she sounded.

“Y- you speak our language?” the leader asked in surprise.

“If you thought I didn’t speak your language, why did you talk to me in it in the first place!? What’s with you people! Some weird spell from a book this klutz here dropped on my head made the ground open up beneath us, we were trapped underground, and I tried my best to carry her all the way on my back to safety and now you are accusing me of kidnapping or what!?”

Had she not had Babylonia on her back she would have gotten up to that leader and pointed an accusatory finger at her.

“And let me guess, as punishment for entering your kingdom, which mind you, is very poorly signposted, you won’t be allowing me to leave your kingdom! Is that correct. What a backwards logic!”

At several points during Jeanne’s tirade the leader of the group tried to interject but did not find any occasion to properly do so.

As Jeanne was about to dish out some insults, laughter echoed throughout the cavern and Jeanne almost lost her balance.

Babylonia, who had been on Jeanne’s back the entire time, arms slung over her shoulders, had seemingly awoken from her slumber. She bent backwards, her hair falling to the ground, as Jeanne desperately tried not to drop her. After regaining some control over her body, her laughing fit subsiding, the vampire put her palms on the ground and freed herself from the witch’s grasp. After holding herself upright in a handstand her feet hit the ground, while Jeanne stumbled away, after getting rid of the load on her back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t hold it any longer.” Babylonia wiped away a tear from her cheeks. All eyes were on her, their owners equally baffled.

“Who knew you had such a temper, my dearest witch. So contrary to your earlier demeanor.”

“What can I say, I contain multitudes, my dearest vampire.” Jeanne decided to just play along. Even though she wasn’t sure where this was going.

“I am sorry, my brethren,” she addressed her fellow vampires, “this here girl belongs with me.”

Girl?

“All she said is true. A rogue spell left us injured and without knowing any better she decided to take me back to our kingdom, hoping that a life saved would be considered mitigating circumstances for trespassing.”

That left everyone speechless.

“Well?” Babylonia pressed on, this time not as gentle as before.

The group of vampires answered with a wave of murmurs that could generally be interpreted positively.

“Then leave this poor girl alone already! My ...”

Girl!?

The air in the room immediately lost its tension, as everyone relaxed their bodies. Some moved to leave the cave.

Their leader however went to address Babylonia directly.

“Won’t you be coming with us? Your master is concerned.”

“And concerned he shall stay. I need to bring my friend back to the surface first. And clean up the mess at the library ...”