Jeanne woke up with the worst headache of her very long life.

It was dark all around and there seemed to be no source of light whatsoever. Right, she had fallen into a hole. Was she underground?

She realized she was laying on her stomach on harsh, cold stone. She turned around and tried sitting upright, before conjuring up some light.

More stone. Yep, definitely underground.

Wait, where was that other girl? She looked all over and spotted her few steps away.

Jeanne tried standing up but was assaulted by sharp pain as soon as she put some strength into her legs. She pointed the light downwards and saw several cuts along her legs. The blood had already started coagulating, so she must have been out for quite some time. She would need to pour some potions into her wounds, or she’d risk an infection.

She reached into her pouch and pulled out a few vials of translucent liquid with a blue hue. She opened the first one and poured the contents over her right leg.

Jeanne let out a strained hum as the fluid seeped into her wounds. She remained on the floor tugging the fabric of her clothes to counteract the pain. She broke into a sweat and groaned and writhed in pain, as the potion cleared her bloodstream.

It was like pouring pure alcohol into an open wound.

When the pain subsided, Jeanne lay flat on her back. She didn’t care that the hard, uneven stone beneath her wasn’t comfortable.

She just needed to get a good breath.

And some rest.

...

Babylonia!

She snapped upwards, her mind clearing in an instant, when she remembered there was someone else with her in the cave. She staggered forward, the orb of light she had summoned earlier following her.

“Hey, are you awake?” Jeanne called out to the vampire girl, as she fell to her knees next to her. But only the lonely echo from the narrow cave walls responded.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Jeanne wished she had read up on some vampire biology, then she would be able to safely treat her. She had no idea what effect her potions had on a vampire’s body.

She could try giving Babylonia some of her blood, but she had no idea if that would work. Did vampires need a certain blood group? What would happen if she gave her some of her witchy blood instead of that of a human? Not to mention, some of the potion might still be coursing through her veins.

How did she manage to learn vampire language but not know anything about vampires themselves? Stupid people and their stupid conflicts.

Jeanne sighed in exasperation.

At least the girl was still breathing.

...

“Crap,” Jeanne muttered as she realized the best course of action.

She had to get them both out of here.

----------------------------------------

I looked at Jeanne in front of me with wide eyes.

“Look, I really don’t want to interrupt you,” I interrupted her, “but I was expecting more of a... meet-cute kind of story, than whatever this is.”

“Well, when we first met, I tried to kill you, so...” Zenia interjected, awkwardly brushing some of her red hair behind her ear.

Jeanne shrugged with one shoulder and stood up from her seat.

In response to Zenia, I said: “I retract my statement, you two have met in a totally normal manner, common to... this day and age I don’t know what I’m talking about ..”

“Don’t worry, it gets even better,” Babylonia assured me. Jeanne handed her a wine glass, to which she thanked her.

“I thought you were out cold?” I questioned, also receiving a glass of wine.

Babylonia made an indistinct noise, to which Jeanne took the reins once more.

“Before I continue telling our story, I think we should get back to the real reason we are all here today. Can’t believe you just let me steal the spotlight from you like that, Gentlemen!”

Jeanne raised her glass.

Zenia, who was sitting next to me, turned towards me, sliding back in her chair a bit, as if to shine the spotlight on me.

Babylonia held her the stem of the wine glass with both of her hands, awkwardly eyeing the red liquid inside.

Crimson held his glass at the bowl, as if it was a beer mug.

I just smiled awkwardly, because this felt as if they were about to sing me happy birthday.

Thank God that song did not exist in this world.

...

Yet.

“Congratulations on finishing the clean-up, wooo!” Jeanne shouted excitedly and took a big sip from her glass.

“Oh, I was expecting a speech or something,” Zenia said.

“Nah, I’m bad at those,” Jeanne said, as she sat down next to Babylonia, casually sipping her wine.

Indeed, Crimson and I finished the clean-up just a couple of days ago. (Though, we all know Crimson did most of the work. As he did most of damage in the first place.)

“I feel bad about celebrating something that was completely avoidable in the first place...” Crimson acknowledged. At least he seemed to be working on his self-awareness.

“Of course. But now that you are... out of probation, so to speak, the real fun begins!” Jeanne was overly enthusiastic to celebrate this occasion.

“You mean, now he can work for you full-time, without pay,” Babylonia corrected her.

“Anyway, let’s get back to the story. It only gets crazier from here.”