"DON'T STOP FUCKING ME!" Helen screamed.

So this is a 'life flash' huh?

"Gods your so tight!" Ryder groaned.

You know for an event that has the word 'flash' in it this is kinda taking awhile.

"Play with my nipples Ryder" Helen begged, "please, please, please!". 

It also doesn't help that-

"PUT YOUR FINGERS IN MY ASSHOLE RYDER!"

-EVERYBODY IS SO FUCKING LOUD! Can't even hear myself think, gods dammit.

BAM BAM BAM

.

.

.

.

.

I'm not even mad about the noise.

I'm mad because I know what comes at the end of the story and spoiler warning it involves an asshole with a sword. Besides if it was even remotely possible to interact with these memories I would probably be tag teaming Helen with my other self by now.

Helen was one of few fine asses that I got before I found myself in this predicament. I don't even have a boner to jerk off with this perfect masturbation material. I guess penises don't come included with these astral bodies when your having a 'life flash' moment. Talk about wasted opportunity.

If I can't even jerk off in my own head then I just want this to be over with already. 

Bring on the eternal void baby, because this blue ball torture chamber is gonna make my nonexistent astral balls blow apart my fucking head in real time!

Speaking of head, if this is all in my head, why can't I just skip to the very end or at the very least be able to rewatch things in slow motion maybe?

I might as well give it a try.

C'mon concentrate, think acceleration, written speed.

"Fuck me faster, Ryder, faster, faster! Yes, that's it!"

Not the kind of speed I was thinking of.

Whatever, I give up.

"Helen, when does your husband come back?" Ryder grunted as he plowed Helen in the missionary position.

"Ah ah don't worry he's at ah ah pub with his friends right now  ah, " she managed to gasp out "he should be gone for a ah ah couple of hours."

Oh no, he isn't.

I started to casually walk away from the door and headed towards the windows by the side of the bed.

If my memory serves me right he should be coming in 3, 2, 1 . . . .

Amongst the loud groans of fornication, the sound of a soft click of a key being turned in a lock could barely be heard. The door to the room suddenly slams open as eight guys with muskets rush into the room.

"I FUCKING KNEW IT, HELEN!" the man leading the small mob yells as he points at the two entangled bodies.

"Gregory!?" Helen gasped in surprise.

"Ah, shit." Ryder said disappointedly.

The intimate couple on the bed immediately separates from one another.  Helen quickly scrambles to grab the sheets on the bed to hide her exposed body while Ryder rolls off the side of the bed, grabbing a pillow to cover his crotch as he presses his back against the window. Both are breathing heavy and covered in sweat, the stench of sex is heavy in the air.

The somewhat heavyset bald man with glasses who I knew was Gregory the innkeeper walked further into the room.  His face had the look of unbelievable fury written on it.

"I told you, Helen, that each time I catch you with another guy there was gonna be hell to pay, for you and him." Gregory said through clenched teeth.

"How many guys did you cheat on him with?" Ryder curiously asked.

"I kinda lost count after thirty." Helen embarrassedly replied.

"How was I compared to all those other fellas?" Ryder asked with a seductive smirk on his face as leaned in close to Helen on the bed.

"Hehe, you're definitely in the top three." Helen answered playfully as she also started to lean in closer to Ryder.

"Oh, top three eh, I guess I got to try harder next time."

"If you tried any harder I'm sure you would've taken all three spots, you little stud."

"You and every woman, I've ever been with should know full well, I ain't packing anything 'little' down here."

"Oh, I know that full well, you tore me open quite nicely that now no ordinary man would possibly be able to satisfy me again" Helen purred as she tapped his nose lightly with her finger "shame on you."

Muscle veins started appearing all over Gregory's smooth dome head as he stared bloodshot daggers at the two adulterers, who started flirting with each right in front of him. Ignoring the fact that they surrounded by eight armed men. The look on his face seemed like the anger he was trying to contain finally boiled over as he pointed his gun at the ceiling and pulled the trigger.

BANG!!!

"ENOUGH!!!" Gregory roared as bits of wooden splinters rained from the ceiling.

Helen gave a short shriek as she quickly huddled over, covering her ears and Ryder stood back up at attention, his hands still holding the cushion covering his junk.

"Helen, I want you back in our room right now or so help me, gods, I will grab you by your hair and drag you there myself!" threatened the innkeeper.

"Fine." Helen whimpered as she gathered as much of the sheet around her as she could and slowly proceeded to walk out, not even stopping to pick her discarded clothes. The small mob parted ways for her so she could reach the doorway.  The men in the mob couldn't help but steal glances at the partially nude Helen as she walked past them, some of the more sicker ones seemed inhaled deeply of her sweet sweaty stench.

As soon as she walked out the door the whole mob's attention focused in on Ryder.

The innkeeper let out a sigh as he massaged his brow "So Mr. Cullen, wheth-"

"Please, theirs no need for such formalities, call me Ryder" Ryder interrupted cheerfully.

"As I was saying, Mr. Cullen, whether or not you knew you were violating my wife yo-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, me violating your wife?" a look of mock shock was on Ryder's face "If anything she violated me, she just barged in here, yanked down my pants and started blowing me. Then she tried to shove one of her fingers up my a-"

"SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE PRICK!" Gregory exploded but quickly calmed down as he took on a more threatening tone

"This is going to end in only one of two ways, either you get filled with lead or you chop off your disease ridden di-"

"Ryder!"

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"

The one who interrupted the innkeeper was Helen, who was standing back in the middle of the open doorway, still only wearing the bed sheet.

A look of anger and confusion was written on Gregory's face "Helen, I thought I told to wai-"

"Ryder, if you make it out of this in one piece, my body will be yours, whenever you want it."  As she said those final words she waved her hands away letting the bed sheet fall to the floor, showcasing her nude body to every man in the room.

It was safe to say that she had the undivided attention of the entire room. Every man in the mob ogled at her with wide eyes, trying to committing every part of her body to memory.

"What are you doing?!" the fat innkeeper said with an expression of absolute panic as he rushed over towards his butt naked wife. He tossed his musket to one the men and quickly scooped the sheet off the ground. He then fisherman net casted the sheet over her head, completely covering her and then proceeded to push her out the door.

"Out, out, out, out!" He raged as he pushed her out into the hallway. Once she was out in the hallway, he stepped back into the room and slammed the door in her face and locked it. Suddenly the sound of pounding and muffled shouts from Helen could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Don't you dare hurt him, Greg!"

"I love you, Ryder!"

"Do hear me you fat bastard?!"

"I swear to the gods that if hurt one hair on his head, I'll fuck every asshole in this town!"

"Don't worry, Ryder, he's only angry because he has a small co-"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!" Gregory suddenly roared as he started pounding the door with both hands, trying to drown the slurs of his smitten wife. When the sounds on the other side, died down he stopped his excessive pounding and press his forehead against the door and started panting loudly. The eyes of mob looked at each other unsure of what to do.

"Enough of this shit already, let's just shoot this fucker and hang his corpse outside as a warn-" the innkeeper started to say as he and the rest of the mob turned around, only to find that the person of interests was no longer there anymore and that the windows that were once closed, were now wide open. The sounds of somebody running on ceramic roof tiles could be heard outside.

"What?!" The innkeeper exclaimed, "This is the third floor!" He rushed over towards the windows and stuck his head out.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU BASTARD!!"

"Tell your wife, I'll see her later!" the fleeing nude, Ryder replied as leaped onto the roof of the next building.

"AFTER HIM!!" Gregory yelled as he and the mob raced out the room.

Shortly after that the sounds yelling and gunfire could be heard off in the distance and then suddenly it became quiet.  Thinking I've gone deaf for a moment, I started picking in my ear seeing if I possibly had some astral earwax blockage or something.  Proving fruitless, it was then that I notice the room I was previously standing no longer existed as again I found myself in the white void.

Huh, that was a quick transition.

Man, that was a long night. That fat bastard had almost fifty guys chasing my nude ass all around town. When the sun rose the next day I think like three buildings got destroyed and over two dozen guys got killed. It all kinda worked out, in the end, turns out the innkeeper was using his inn as a stolen goods stash hideout for local bandits in the area.  So, Gregory got arrested by the local guards, I was labeled as the 'The Nude Vigilante of Dobres' for ending a large bandit operation, and I somehow managed to get one more tumble with Helen before I had to meet up Regis at the edge of town.

Good times.

Suddenly brightly colored streams of light suddenly caught my eye.

Oh, so what are you going to show me next?