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haha funy Joek!

He stood up to his full height and walked over to the wolf. It seemed to be doing better, but it was still skinny as hell. Damn this guy looks like a plate of bbq ribs. Well I guess it’s…

Hunting time!

This is a fantasy world right? I wonder if they have guns, I mean I’ve been in brawls but I’m not muhammad. Do orcs taste good? Dragon probably would. Wait a second…

DRAGON?!

Holy shit! Can you imagine the bullets I could make with dragon scales?! If they’re like they are in movies, they could easily pierce a tank! Oh boy, Oh BOY!

If you were to enter the cave at this moment you would see a 6 foot tall suit of armor jumping up and down next to a plate of furry ribs, seemingly excited to eat his meal. This would be comical if not for the fact that two human corpses were laid out on the floor right beside the ribs, making it seem it had a particular taste for human meat.

Calming down he walked slowly out into the sunlight step, by step, until he was fully engulfed in beautiful yellow rays of sunlight poorly reflected off of his rusty iron plates. The warmth spread through his non-existent spine slowly until it reached his imaginary head.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

As he rejoiced in this glorious feeling he scanned his surroundings from the entrance. He was surrounded in pine and deep green. A pine forest that was so dark you couldn’t see 6 feet in front of you, along with a small plume of smoke to the west and a mountain range to the east. In front of him behind the forest a small lake of deep, deep blue stood, tranquil in every sense of the word. The forest seemed large but not so much that he could not see aspect of the land around it.

He walked down to sea level and started to traverse the forest. He extended the bat ears and looked out for any strange vibrations. After a short spell of walking he caught a unusually loud vibration. Slowly he crouched down and hid behind a tree, poking his helmet out his horns extending to the sky. He noticed a small buck feeding on grass a couple meters away.

Slowly once again he inched away from the tree and got in pouncing position, he looked like an olympic sprinter.

Three, two, one…

He burst out of the brush and collided with the buck. It wasn’t very muscular so it could not quite escape in time. He clamped his hand around the buck and used his other to plunge into the throat of the animal. It slowly slumped over as the glimmer in its brightly colored eyes dimmed to an business like gray. He picked it up and brought it to the lair.

He repeated this a few times until he had a good stack of food for doggo.

Adventure time!(trademarked by cartoon network, I had no part of the process in making reviewing or funding this product. I have absolutely no affiliation with cartoon network.co Thank you).

Jk (1/1/19)

He started heading towards the plume of smoke. As he approached he could hear the bustling of people and the sound of wagons on dirt. He reached a clearing and stepped out of the brush to find a large wooden village in the distance.

As well as a group of patrolling guards.

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